校园时代

Schooled S02E13

Part 2 March 2, 2020, 8:43 a.m.

为什么不想一切新的战术
Why don't we just come up with some new plays
这样杰曼镇学院就不会横扫我们
so Germantown doesn't totally smoke us?
你们怎么不闭嘴
Why don't you shut your face holes,
因为我是教练我受够了你们顶嘴
because I am the coach and I'm sick of your back talk!
我又没站在这里
Now, I'm not one to stand up here
发表演讲但我现在生气了
and give big speeches, but now I'm mad!
实际上经典的更衣室演讲是教练的专长
But, in fact, epic locker room speeches were Coach's specialty.
他已经精通了此事
He had them down to a science
永远以愤怒地踢水壶开场
and always began with the angry jug kick.
我受不了了
I can't take it no more!
哪怕就一次别再操心他们
For once in your lives, stop worrying about them
专注于你们自己
and focus on your own damn selves!
紧接着是真诚道歉
Followed by the heartfelt apology.
教练很抱歉你们刚才看到了那一幕
Well, Coach is sorry you had to see that.
只是教练特别相信你们
It's just...Coach believes in y'all so damn much
以至于有时候教练控制不住
that sometimes Coach can't contain it.
然后又是经典的"我放弃"的把戏
Then came the classic "I quit" Maneuver.
行了我不干了
That's it! I'm done!
我退出我撤
I quit! I'm out!
你们造成的开心了吗
You did this! Happy?!
当然五秒钟后就恢复了得意的样子
And, of course, the triumphant return five seconds later.
在经过深刻反省后我回来了
After much soul searching, I'm back,
该死我无比激动
and, damn it, I'm fired up!
谁准备好跟我一起火力全开
Now who's ready to get fired up with me?!
二队的虾兵蟹将输定了
JV shrimps are going down!
失去罗尼后你这么快就让他们重振旗鼓
Wow, you sure got them to bounce back fast after losing Ronnie.
教练总是有对策
Coach always has a game plan.
首先我给他们打气
First, I fire 'em up,
然后用一场急需的胜利给他们增添信心
then I boost their confidence with a much-needed win.
瑞克他们没赢
Rick, they didn't win.
是的
They did not.
我对地盘
My house!
你肯定已经在想新对策了
Well, I'm sure you're already cooking up a new game plan.
没错是的
That, I am. Yes.
我的新计划就是
And my new plan is to...
想出一个新计划
go think of a new plan.
我要去压力摄食这整个鳄梨
I'm gonna go stress eat this entire avocado
直到想出计划
until the plan comes to me.
教练史上第一次怀疑自己
As Coach doubted himself for the first time ever,
而我确定威尔玛会改变CB对爱情的看法
I was certain Wilma would change CB's stance on love.
如你所见我按比例重建一个
Okay, as you can see I've built a to-scale recreation
漂浮门的场景
of the floating door scenario.
莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥是金刚战士
Leonardo DiCaprio will be the Power Ranger,
而凯特·温斯莱特是变异神龟
and Kate Winslet is the Mutant Turtle.
我也不想扫兴
I hate to be that guy,
但是神龟的名字就是莱昂纳多
but the Turtle's actual name is Leonardo,
所以更符合逻辑的做法是...
so it'd make more sense to --
如果你不想扫兴就别这么做
If you hate to be that guy, stop doing what you're doing.
如你所见我们的微橡树门
As you can see, our miniature oak door
可以让我们决定它的浮力是否
allows us to determine if its buoyancy is greater than
大于向下拉的重力
the force of gravity pulling down on the --
我们不需要你详细解释
Yeah, we don't need the play-by-play.
你搞你的科学告诉CB爱情未死
Just do your science and tell CB love isn't dead.
从科学上讲爱情死透了
Then scientifically speaking, love is dead as hell.
我就说吧
Ha! Told ya!
等等你说什么
Wait, what?
这扇门上有很大的空间
There is an embarrassing amount of room on this door.
不错了
No. Wrong.
威尔玛有没有哪个世界里爱情是骗局
Hey, Wilma, is there a world where love is such a sham
罗斯杰克和我都能待在那门上
that Rose, Jack, and me could fit on that door?
百分百
With 100% certainty.
-看 -我上去了
- Observe. - There I am.
有没有哪个世界里爱情是场闹剧
Is there a world where love is such a suck show
罗斯杰克我和你都能待在那门上
where Rose, Jack, me, and you fit on that door?
有
Yes.
同意吗
Agreed?
同意请求沾沾自喜
Agreed. Permission to gloat?
准了
Permission granted.
-我就说吧 -错
- Told ya! - Wrong.
我驳斥这些发现
I refute these findings.
-什么 -你听到我的话了
- Excuse me? - You heard me.
你的实验是错的你的科学很烂
Your experiment is wrong, and you do science bad.
我是以班级第一的成绩从加州理工学院毕业的
I graduated first in my class at Cal Tech.
你真觉得我证明不了一块木板能浮在水上吗
You really think I can't prove a slab of wood can float?
你没有考虑最重要的科学元素
You didn't factor in the most important scientific element.
爱
Love.
爱是一种情感
Love is an emotion,
跟科学恰恰相反
which is the opposite of science.
请求击掌
Permission to high-five?
准了
Allowed.
别击掌反对爱
Don't high-five against love!
有的事物比科学更伟大
Some things are bigger than science,
无论你的实验结果如何
no matter what your experiment suggests.
我的实验没有暗示任何事
My experiment doesn't suggest anything.
只证明了罗斯只需要往旁边挪一下就行
It proves all Rose had to do was scoot over,
但她没有因为她想独占那道门
but she didn't 'cause she wanted that big-ass door all to herself.
收到爱是骗局这里完事了
Copy that. Love is a sham. We're done here.
不没有告诉我谁伤了你
No, we're not. Just tell me who hurt you.
-不 -告诉我她的名字我去跟她干架
- No! - Gimme her name, and I will fight her.
那就太奇怪了
That would be weird.
还有为什么你这么关心这个
And also, why does it matter so much to you?
因为你是我最好的朋友之一
Because you're one of my best friends, dude.
我希望你幸福
I want you to be happy,
但如果你一直讨厌爱的话就幸福不了
but it'll never happen if you go through life hating love.
你最好的朋友谢谢你的关心
Well, your best dude friend appreciates the concern.
然而我这次要站在科学这边
However, I will be siding with science on this one.
威尔玛请求碰拳并清理这团乱
Wilma, permission to give you a fist bump and clean up this mess?
准了
Allowed.
我的天
My God.
你们两个冷酷的书呆子真是绝配
You two callous nerds deserve each other.
-查理·布朗当然 -我喜欢
- Charlie Brown, of course. - I love that.
你们真的是绝配
You really... do deserve each other.
该死
Oh, shoot.
完美
It's perfect.
《泰坦尼克号♥》实验没有按我预想的进行
The "Titanic" Experiment hadn't gone my way,
但我有个帮助CB相信爱情的新计划
but now I had a new plan to help CB believe in love.
好啊帅哥
What up, playa?
不要打住
No. Stop.
不管你在酝酿什么诡计我都拒绝
Whatever scheme you got cooking up, it's a hard pass.
没有诡计
No scheme.
只是个让你敞开心扉的小诡计
Except maybe a small scheme for you to open your heart.
行你赢了
Fine. You win.
我爱詹姆斯·卡梅隆的《泰坦尼克号♥》行了吧
I loved James Cameron's "Titanic," Okay?
这是他目前为止最棒的电影除了《异形》
It's his greatest movie yet, other than "Aliens."
还有《真实的谎言》
And "True Lies."
不等等《终结者2》
No, wait -- "Terminator 2."
跟《泰坦尼克号♥》无关
It's not about "Titanic."
重要的是让你幸福
It's about you being happy
以及忘掉那个伤了你心的女人
and forgetting about the hag who broke your heart.
我就在这儿把你的心给我
I'm here. Give your heart to me.
你真的是完全不了解我的情况
You really don't have the details of my situation.
不重要显然只有一个女生适合你
Doesn't matter. Clearly, there's only one gal for you.
-威尔玛 -威尔玛
- Wilma. - Wilma?
你们有很多共同点
You have so much in common.
你们都爱教书和图书
You both love teaching and books
不知为何都喜欢韦恩·布雷迪[演员]
and Wayne Brady, for some reason.
而且你们都是烦人的万事通天作之合
Plus, you're annoying know-it-alls. It's a perfect match!
首先我很怕威尔玛
First of all, Wilma terrifies me.
其次她只喜欢坏男孩
Second, she only likes bad boys.
这只是她为了逃避情场而找的借口
That's just an excuse so she doesn't have to put herself out there.