校园时代

Schooled S02E10

Part 1 March 2, 2020, 8:42 a.m.

90年代的时候最火的玩具就是豆豆公仔
Back in the '90s, one of the biggest toy fads was Beanie Babies.
这些可爱的毛茸玩具风靡世界
These cute little stuffed animals took the world by storm.
人们会冲进购物中心
People would flock to shopping malls in a mad dash
尽全力抢到最多
to collect as many as they could,
在威廉·佩恩学院尤其火爆
and they were especially popular at William Penn.
你要什么
What's your poison?
我要螃蟹克劳德
I need Claude the Crab.
40块
That'll cost you $40.
学校里禁止交易豆豆公仔
You know there's no dealing Beanies on school grounds.
赶紧走开不然我就去告诉格拉斯科特
Beat it before I tell Glascott.
我有螃蟹克劳德只要30
I got Claude the Crab for $30.
没错蠢货们
That's right, suckers.
你们眼前的正是第一版
You're looking at a first-edition
品相一流的鸭嘴兽帕蒂
mint-condition Patti the Platty!
为了得到这个公仔我做了很多我不引以为傲的事
I did a lot of things I'm not proud of to get this Beanie Baby.
你们知道你们在对着豆豆公仔流口水
You do know you're drooling over a bag of beans,
而你们是成年人吧
and you're also adults?
你可是喜欢电子宠物
Says the guy who loves Tamagotchis,
菲比精灵毛毛球
Furbys, Koosh balls...
哈利波特《鸡皮疙瘩》
"Harry Potter," "Goosebumps"...
口袋妖怪《万智牌:竞技场》
Pokémon, Magic: The Gathering...
-还有珀格珀格拜托
- Pogs, man. Pogs? - Oh, come on!
这上面写明了"适合所有年龄段的人"
It says right there on the Pog package "Fun for all ages."
但是这个豆豆公仔狂热我是理解不了
But this whole Beanie Baby craze? Don't get it.
可它们好可爱让人想抱住
But they're so cute and cuddly.
别碰
Uh, look, don't touch.
因为你的手很恶心
Because, you know, your hands are gross.
你想出♥售♥帕蒂吗
Any way you'd... part with Patti?
多少钱
Come on. How much we talking?
你也收集这玩意
You collect these things, too?
收集不我变卖♥♥
Collect? No. I flip 'em.
低价买♥♥进高价卖♥♥出收获回报
Buy low, sell high, reap the rewards.
地面泳池我来啦
Above-ground pool, here I come!
这些东西每天价值都在翻倍
These things double in value every day.
去问沃伦·巴菲特
Ask Warren Buffett.
他会告诉你卖♥♥掉股票买♥♥豆豆公仔
He'll tell you -- sell stocks, buy beanies.
-你们都是蠢货 -是吧
- You're all fools. - I know, right?
我的意思是将来百分百
What I mean is, there's a 100% chance
我们会生活在一个后末世的世界
that one day we'll all be living in a post-apocalyptic world
豆豆公仔会是唯一的法定货币形式
where Beanie Babies are the only form of legal tender.
我谈论我喜欢的古怪东西时
Do I sound this stupid
听上去有这么愚蠢吗
talking about all the weird stuff that I like?
你去觅食废品而我活得像个国王时
You'll be a believer when you're scavenging for scraps
你就会信了
and I live like a king --
我有钳子龙虾
trading Pinchers the Lobster
交换火柴种子以及冰镇饮用水
for matches, seeds, and ice-cold drinking water.
你真的相信这个
Do you seriously believe that?
是的
Oh, I do.
只有这样我才能证明我在易趣上花600块
It's the only way I can justify spending $600
竞拍了一个豆豆甲壳纲动物是对的
on a bean-stuffed crustacean in an eBay bidding war.
我能抚摸它吗
Can I pet it?
校园时代
第二季第十集
那是九几年的12月11号♥
It was December 11th, 1990-something,
威尔玛即将发现一个节日惊喜
and Wilma was about to discover a holiday surprise.
真没想到
Well, I'll be damned!
宽扎节快乐
真的来了
It's happening.
真的来了
It's happening!
看看今年的卡片架上出现了什么
Look what's on the card shelves this year.
-宽扎节 -没错
- Kwanzaa? - That's right.
我们都知道一旦上了贺卡
And as we all know, once we make it to Hallmark,
就表示我们被官方认可了
that means we're official!
让开圣诞老人
Move over, Santa.
你个垃圾胖子
If you can, you fat sack of garbage.
不好意思宽扎节是什么鬼
I'm sorry, but come on. Kwanzaa?
我是耶♥和♥华♥见证人我们不怎么过节
Oh. I'm Jehovah's Witness, so we really don't do holidays.
-你什么毛病 -你为什么要搞破坏库珀
- What is your problem, man? - Why do you got to ruin stuff, Coop?
这样吧我们该把它加入圣诞音乐会
Ooh, you know what? We should add it to the Christmas concert.
这样可以让大家了解宽扎节
It'll be a good way to teach people what Kwanzaa's all about.
我觉得在节日秀里
You know, I think it'd be great
加入新元素挺好的
to put some new life into our holiday show.
从我开始在这上学起我们就一直演着同样的剧本
We've been doing the same, old script since I went to school here.
幸运的是
And lucky for us,
我们的教职工里有一个半专业的剧作家
we have a semi-professional script writer on faculty.
-谁 -老天不要问
- Who? - Dear God! Do not ask.
太迟了她已经问了
Too late. She asked.
你是问剧本吗
Screenplay, you ask?
很好我给你娓娓道来
Why, yes. I'll tell you all about it.
《索尔兄弟》
"Sole Brothers"?
这是一个关于杰弗里·索尔
Yeah, it's the story of Jeffrey Sole
和他的同卵双胞胎大卫·艾伦·布拉瑟斯的故事
and his identical twin, David Alan Brothers.
他们是卖♥♥鞋的兼♥职♥是侦探
They're shoe salesmen who moonlight as detectives.
如果他们是双胞胎兄弟为什么姓氏不一样
If they're twin brothers, why do they have different last names?
好了别再提问了
Okay, we're good. No more questions.
抱歉我一定要知道
Sorry. I got to know.
那为什么有盏神灯
Why the hell is there a genie lamp?
我最好还是推销下吧
You know what? It's better if I pitch it.
-别推销 -淡入
- Do not pitch it! - Fade in.
户外阿♥拉♥伯沙漠深夜
Exterior -- Arabian Desert. Dead of night.
-骆驼在行走 -我听够了
- Camels walking -- - Yeah, I've heard enough.
莱妮你来写宽扎节吧
Lainey, you're writing about Kwanzaa.
你确定要我来吗
Um, are you sure it should be me?
你知道因为我是... 你懂的
You know, because I'm, like...you know...
庆祝宽扎节的都是...
and people who celebrate Kwanzaa are, um...
你懂的他们是...
you know, they're, um...
所以你懂的
So, you know...
你怎么回事
Okay, what is going on with you right now?
我谈论这种事的时候我就
Whenever I talk about this kind of thing, I'm just,
你懂的担心我会说错话
you know, like, worried I'm gonna say the wrong thing.
你觉得你会说什么
What exactly do you think you're gonna say?
天没什么
Oh, God! Nothing!
应该让约翰来写
But...yeah, John should take charge.
宽扎节你负责
Kwanzaa's all yours.
并不是我不会支持
Not that I won't be there to support it,
因为我会支持非常支持
'cause I do support it -- a lot.
但是不会太支持我不想越界
But not too much. I don't want to overstep my bounds.
刚好足够的支持就好
Just the appropriate amount of supporting.
-莱妮 -怎么
- Lainey. - ?Yes?
-请你停下 -好的
- Please stop. - ?Stopping.
我尴尬地涉足宽扎节的同时
While I was awkwardly getting into Kwanzaa,
我的新室友CB
my new roommate, CB,
正在打造节日气氛
was getting into the holiday spirit.
哥们你做了大扫除还给我买♥♥了一棵圣诞树
Dude! You cleaned my entire place and got me a Christmas tree?
你为什么老是做这种事
Why do you keep doing stuff like this?
因为我家被烧没了而你让我免费在你家住
Well, 'cause my place burned down and you took me in rent-free,
做清洁会让我忘记
and cleaning helps me forget
我家被烧毁你让我免费住的事
my place burned down and you took me in rent-free.
天呐
Aw, man.
我要是知道我有棵树
If I knew I had a tree,
我就不会提前打开巴里的礼物了
I wouldn't have opened Barry's gift already.
亲爱的
Hi, baby.
我要钓你圣诞快乐
I'm fishing you a Merry Christmas.
我听这个鱼的拙劣双关已经一整天了
I've been listening to bad fish puns all day.
你确定要在这么棒的地方放一个这玩意吗
Are you sure you want to keep that in a place of prominence?
我鳍上你了
I am fin love with you.
嗯很有巴里风格
Yeah. It's just so Barry.
看我是巴里梭鱼
Look! I'm a Barry-cuda. Ha!
-你是说吵闹和烦扰吗 -够了
- You mean loud and intrusive? - ?Stop.
你得了解他然后你就能看到我所看到的了
You just have to get to know him, and then you'll see what I see.
为什么是鱼
Why the fish?
因为你整个月都在暗示他