校园时代

Schooled S02E01

Part 1 Feb. 16, 2020, 9:30 a.m.

我在威廉·佩恩学院的第一年
My first year at William Penn,
我以为我和学生相处得很好
I thought I'd really connected with the students.
然后夏天的时候
But then, over the summer,
我和巴里看了《危险游戏》
Barry and I saw "Dangerous Minds,"
米歇尔·菲佛主演
starring Michelle Pfeiffer.
这间教室里没有受害者
There are no victims in this classroom!
看了这部电影后让我意识到
Seeing that movie made me realize
我可以更加深入
I could go deeper,
和这些学生打成一片
really getting involved with these kids,
这也是他们所需要的
which they need,
因为他们要面对很多可怕的事
because they are dealing with a lot of scary stuff.
我的第二年
For my second year back,
我下定决心要参与他们所有的活动
I was determined to get all up in their business
化身菲佛
by going full Pfeiffer.
很好我成功吸引了你们的注意
Good. I got your attention.
六音每小节六个音符
Sextuplets. Six notes per measure.
是的我们要学这个
Oh, yeah, we're goin' there.
不是吧
Oh, come on.
欢迎来到吉他2 有任何问题吗
Welcome to Guitar 2. Any questions?
你为什么穿得像《油脂》结尾时的奥莉维亚·纽顿-约翰
Yeah, why are you dressed like Olivia Newton-John at the end of "Grease"?
并没有
I'm not.
我打扮得像你最可怕的噩梦
I'm dressed like your worst nightmare --
一个关心学生的老师
a teacher who cares.
课程纲要说我们要学的第一首歌♥是
The curriculum says the first song we're learning
《划船啊划船》
is "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."
这一点不接地气
That's not real-life stuff.
你们有多少人划过船
How many of you have ever even rowed a boat?
是缓慢顺流而下的吗
But was it gently down a stream?
没错
Exactly.
我想教能引起我共鸣的音乐
I want to teach music that speaks to me,
比如菲奥娜·艾波
like Fiona Apple.
什么歌♥能引起你共鸣鲍比·马洛尼
What song speaks to you, Bobby Maloney?
《划船啊划船》是彻底没戏了吗
Is "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" Definitely off the table?
你呢艾伦·鲁宾
What about you, Aaron Rubin?
《是谁放的狗》
"Who Let the Dogs Out"?
你干嘛朝我扔这个
Why would you throw that?!
作为你精彩回答的奖励
As your prize for a great answer.
下次你该朝一个
Next time, you should try throwing it to somebody
手眼更协调的人扔
with better hand-eye coordination.
比如我的盲人外婆
Like my blind grandma.
好啊罗尼忍♥痛大笑
Sure, Ronnie. Laugh through the pain.
不过有一个盲人外婆听上去好像很沉重
But having a blind grandma sounds heavy.
如果哪天你想谈谈的话
If you ever want to rap about it...
我很乐意
Yeah, I'd like that.
生活很艰难因为她总要
It's been hard 'cause she has to touch my face
用她那双老太婆的手摸我的脸
with her weird old-lady hands all the time.
维罗妮卡家长压力过大的时候
Veronica, when parents are stressed,
有时孩子也会感受到痛苦
sometimes, the children feel the pain.
但你是个有韧性的小姑娘
But you're a resilient young woman.
你会挺过这次厨房♥改造的
You will get through this kitchen remodel.
为了烤吐司我得去车♥库♥
To make toast, I have to walk all the way to the garage.
这间教室里没有受害者
Hey, there are no victims in this classroom.
但如果你开始觉得喘不过气
But if you start to feel overwhelmed,
你随时可以拨♥打♥我的新手♥机♥
you can call me anytime on my new mobile phone.
555-0159.
我也许会这么做
I may take you up on that.
我父母今晚要选瓷砖
My parents are picking out tile tonight,
他们意见差得很远
and they're a mile apart.
祝你好运
Good luck.
瑞克
Rick!
你暑假过得如何
How was your summer?
我去哥斯达黎加高空滑索了
I went zip-lining in Costa Rica,
我还给卷尾猴喂了新鲜的蛤肉
and I fed fresh clams to a capuchin monkey.
没人会告诉你蛤肉没了该怎么做
Nobody tells you what to do when you run out of clams.
我刚听到你给了一个学生你的私人电♥话♥
I heard you giving out your personal phone number to a student?
今年我决定要给予这些孩子更多
This year, I decided I wanna give these kids more.
这是第二年老师的经典错误
Classic second-year-teacher mistake.
他们用他们渴求的脸把你吸入
They suck you in with their needy, little faces,
然后你还没反应过来你就到了他们家
and the next thing you know, you're at their house,
假装是他们的管家好为了取悦某个
pretending to be their butler so you can impress some
他们在足球营里认识的富家女
rich girl they met at soccer camp.
好处是
On the plus side,
我学会了怎么做美味的惠灵顿牛排
I did learn how to make a mean Beef Wellington.
我真的会那么做
I would totally do that.
作为你的导师我得说
As your mentor, I have to say
和他们走得太近只会让你屁♥股♥被咬[搬起石头砸自己的脚]
that getting too close will end up biting you in the ass,
就像一只想吃蛤肉的凶猛猴子
like a small but aggressive monkey jonesing for clams.
校园时代
第二季第一集
巴里猜猜看我进走廊了
Barry, guess what. I'm walking into the hallway.
是啊信♥号♥♥很好
I know! The reception is so clear!
我说很好
I said it's clear.
等等我听不清你
Wait, y-- Hold on. You're breaking up.
听不清
Breaking up!
不不不是我们我没说分手
No! No, no! Not us! No, we're not breaking up!
巴里你在哭吗
Barry, are you crying?
这玩意太赞了
This thing is a miracle.
看来莱妮·刘易斯在暑假加入了太空计划
Looks like Lainey Lewis joined the space program over the summer.
我和巴里买♥♥了这个这样我们就能一直保持联♥系♥了
Barry and I got them so we can stayin constant contact with each other.
我们的远距离恋爱进展非常顺利
We are crushing the long-distance-relationship thing.
这么说你们挺过了暑假
So, you guys made it through the summer, then?
真好
Ah. Man, that's...good.
还是如胶似漆呢就像布拉德皮特和格温妮丝·帕特洛
Still going strong, like Brad and Gwyneth.
布拉德和格温妮丝已经分了
Brad and Gwyny are Splitsville.
可他们剪了同样的发型啊
But they got the same haircut!
我暑假挺糟糕的
I had a pretty bitchin' summer.
我参加了文艺复兴嘉年华巡游
I, uh, I did the whole Renaissance Faire circuit.
我制♥作♥了一些陶器
I threw some pottery.
对了我还给你们寄了瑞典黄油罐
Oh. You all have some Swedish butter pots coming, by the way.
说好的新老师在哪呢
So, where's this new teacher we're supposed to be meeting?
我刚让我无人监管的四年级学生
I just left a bunch of unsupervised fourth-graders
去清理我的体操垫了
to Clorox my gym mats.
她来了
Oh! Well, here she is now.
各位
Everyone...
这是我们新的生物老师威尔玛·豪威尔
...this is our new biology teacher, Ms. Wilma Howell.
你们好
Hi.
我很明智从我好朋友
I was clever enough to steal Wilma away
瓦莱弗格军事学院校长那
from my good friend the commandant
把她挖了过来
at Valley Forge Prep.
你们多半没听过海军陆战队上校在电♥话♥里哭泣
If you've never heard a Marine colonel sobbing on the phone,
非常让人不安
it is actually... very unsettling.
他是我好朋友一个真正的美国英雄
He's a good friend and a real American hero.
你拿的是什么
What do you got there?
第一天就给我们带了吃的吗
Treats on the first day, huh?
糯米团吗
Oh, are these mochi balls?
其实是老鼠团
Actually, mouse-y balls.
是我要给教室的宠物蛇喂的冷冻老鼠仔
Frozen baby mice I feed to my classroom snake.
那可真扫兴啊
That's... really upsetting.
这是生物生命循环
It's biology. Circle of life.
可惜没什么能吓到这些孩子的
Sadly, nothing'll shock these kids.
他们每天都能在这个弱肉强食的社会
They see worse out there every day
看到更糟糕的事
in this snake-eat-mice world.
我要在上面写名字吗
Do I need to put my name on this?
整个冰箱现在都归你了
Uh, I think the whole freezer's yours now.
让我先把我的瘦身套餐拿出来
Uh, let me get my Lean Cuisines out of there.
怎么了库珀就是这么保持身材的
What? It's how Coop keeps it tight.
会有文化冲击吧威尔玛毕竟你来自军校
Must be a culture shock, Wilma, coming from a military school.
如果这能让你过渡更容易的话
Well, if it helps ease the transition at all,
就叫我有趣上校吧
please feel free to call me Colonel Fun.
顺便周五是睡衣日
Oh, by the way, Friday is Pajama Day,
这是来自上校的命令
and that's an order from the colonel.
太好了