红橡树（2014）

恭喜你
Well, congratulations.
谢谢
Thanks.
你们定了日期吗
Do you guys have a date and stuff?
8月23日
August 23rd.
那要不了多久了
That'll be here before you know it.
是啊 可还有好多事要做
Yeah, still like a zillion things I have to do.
你不知道策划一场婚礼 得做多少决定
You have no idea how many decisions are involved in planning a wedding,
连我父母的后院都包含在内
even a small one in my parents' backyard.
嗯
Yeah.
我为你们高兴 这是你一直想要的
I'm happy for you. It's what you always wanted.
我还有课 先走了
I have a class, so I'm gonna get going.
-你的可乐 -谢谢
- Another Coke. - Thanks.
客气
No problem.
-高考吗 -下周六我要重考
- SATs? - I'm re-taking them next Saturday.
我爸说如果我不提高成绩
My dad says if I don't bring my scores up,
他就送我去军校
he's sending me to military school.
好惨 你上次考了多少
That sucks. What did you get the last time?
940 我很笨的
940. I'm pretty stupid.
没有
Nah, man.
标准化考试跟智力无关
Standardized tests have nothing to do with intelligence.
就是敲诈
They're a racket.
它们存在的唯一目的
They exist for the sole purpose
就是销♥售♥2号♥铅笔
of selling No. 2 pencils.
搞定高考就好比在二十一点里打出满堂彩一样
Beating the SATs is like beating the house in Blackjack.
玩的是百分比 数牌
You play the percentages, count cards.
在它们自己的游戏中战胜它们
Beat 'em at their own game.
怎么做
How?
比如
Okay, for instance...
每个人做题都像旅鼠一样
Everyone works their way through the sections of the test
按部就班
in sequence like good like lemmings.
这是为什么 规定里没说
But why? Nothing in the rules say
你必须先做阅读理解再做明喻
you have to do reading comprehension before similes.
实际上 你不该这么做
In fact, you shouldn't,
因为那会花上你三倍的时间
'cause it takes three times as long,
分值却一样
yet it's worth the same points.
所以跳过阅读理解 如果后面还有时间
So it makes more sense to skip over reading comprehension
再回来做 这样更合理
and only come back to it later if you have time left.
你真聪明 你高考得了多少分
You're pretty smart. What did you get on your SATs?
1580.
那几乎是满分了
That's, like, almost a perfect score.
你怎么没去大学
Why didn't you go to college?
我上过一年
I did for a year.
辍学了 不适合我
Dropped out. It wasn't my scene.
象牙塔[大学]这东西本身就很假 你懂吗
That whole Ivory Tower thing is kind of bogus, you know?
怎么了
What?
我们长得有点像
You know, we kind of look alike.
-是吗 -够像了
- Do we? - It's close enough.
干什么
For what?
你代替我参加高考
For you to pretend to be me and take the SATs in my place.
我为什么要那么做
Okay, why would I do that?
因为我会给你一百块
Because I'll pay you a hundred bucks.
两百
Two hundred.
现金
Cash.
求你了 威勒 我不能去军校
Please, Wheeler, I can't go to military school.
你有看过电影《熄灯号♥》吗
Did you see "Taps"?
那些人简直变♥态♥
Those guys are psycho.
行 我会替你考试 操
Okay. I'll do it. Fuck.
看这里 蓝波 说干酪
Okay, over here, Rambo. Say fromage.
没有任何表情 不错的选择
Yeah, no expression whatsoever. Good choice.
小妹妹 该你了
Okay, little sis, step on up.
闪开 呆瓜
Hey! Out of my shot, special ed.
你得温柔一点 他们还是孩子
Hey, you need to be nice. They're just kids.
他们先开火的 不是我
They drew first blood, not me.
所以现在不是告诉你我怀孕了的好时机咯
Guess now's not a good time to tell you I'm pregnant.
你怀孕了
You're preggers?
逗你的
I'm kidding.
不过可以谈谈 我们将来要多少个小孩
It's not really a bad time to talk about how many rug rats we're gonna have.
以前我想要6个
I used to think six,
不过今天过后 我说不好了
but after today, I'm not so sure.
那我们还是 先享受我们的二人世界吧
Hey, how about we just enjoy being the two of us for a little while?
好的
Yeah, right.
这提醒了我
Oh, that reminds me.
你有问你姐姐 请她收留格雷西吗
Did you ask your sister about taking Gracie?
不行
Yeah, no dice.
-她小孩怕猫 -悲剧
- Kid's afraid of cats. - Shoot.
那我们能把它关在车♥库♥里吗
Do you think maybe we can just keep her in the garage?
不好意思 宝贝 附近都不行
Sorry, babe. Can't have her anywhere in the vicinity.
我舌头会肿起来 呼吸困难
Tongue swells up. I have trouble breathing.
听着 我们一结婚
Look, once we get married,
那猫就得走
pussy's gotta go.
-来点胡椒粉 -一点点 谢谢
- Little pepper? - Little bit. Thank you.
你们好 格蒂先生 格帝太太
Hi, Mr. Getty, Mrs. Getty.
-你好 -大卫
- Hi. - David.
如果你们下周需要
By the way, if you need me to pick up Skye
我去机场接斯凯 我很乐意
from the airport next week, I'm happy to do it.
我们自己能行
We got it covered.
好的
Okay, cool.
那回见
Well, I'll see you later.
你不是说夏天来临前
So much for her little fling with him
他们关系就会结束吗
being over by the summer.
别担心 吃你的午餐
Don't worry. Eat your lunch.
这才算是目标丰富的环境
Now, this is what I call a target-rich environment.
-你的机会来了 -干什么
- Now's your chance. - For what?
做我的僚机
To be my wingman.
你一直在说的"僚机"是什么意思
What is this thing "wingman" youou keep talking about?
-你看了《壮志凌云》吧 -还没
- You've seen "Top Gun," right? - No, not yet.
一定要去看
You must.
当然西斯科和艾伯特意见不一致
Siskel and Ebert were divided on it, of course,
西斯科和艾伯特主持一档电影评论节目
不过我觉得它在关于男性友谊
but I found it to be quite a profound meditation
这个话题上有很深刻的意义
on the subject of male friendship.
汤姆·斯格利特一如既往令人心醉神迷
Tom Skerritt is electric as always.
你要给我说僚机是干什么的吗
You gonna tell me what a wingman does?
你只需要飞到那边
All you have to do is fly over there.
我帮你看后
I'll watch your tail.
帮我勾搭那些年轻美女
And trap me up to those young bogeys.
在这等着
Wait here.
祝你成功
Godspeed.
-这派对逊毙了 -嘿
- This party blows. - Hey.
我在那边的朋友 想知道你们是否愿意陪他玩
My friend over there was wondering if you wanted to party with him.
-哪个 -有胡子的那个
- Which one? - The one with the beard.
他最近生活不太如意
He's been going through a kind of a tough time lately,
但他人很好 很有意思
but he's a great guy and a lot of fun.
-他有大♥麻♥吗 -可能有
- Does he have any weed? - Probably.
-那行 管他呢 -太好了
- Okay, whatever. - Awesome.
你 你有大♥麻♥吗
Do you-- Do you have any weed?
大♥麻♥ 如果你想要 我可以搞得到
Marijuana? Yes, I could definitely procure something of that sort for you if you'd like.
能给我一杯吗
Hand me one of those?
惊喜吧
Surprise.
-你什么时候 -两个小时前
- When did you-- - Two hours ago.
你怎么不跟我说你要提前回来
Why didn't you tell me you were coming home early?
我想看你的表情
I wanted to see the look on your face.
太值得了 你真该看看
It was totally worth it. You should have seen yourself.
-你想离开这吗 -嗯
- Do you wanna get out of here? - Yeah.
今晚 你们将不用互相在嘴上练习
Tonight, instead of practicing on each other,
你们将有机会
you're gonna get the chance
为活生生的志愿者清理牙齿
to clean the teeth of real life volunteers.
都是从社区里招募来的
recruited from the community.
所以大家请专业点 有礼貌
So let's be professional, courteous,
最重要的是 温柔
and above all, gentle,
好让我们的志愿者能有一次愉快的经历
so our volunteers can have a pleasant experience.