健身世界（2021）

如果大家都吃完了 孩子们 把桌子收拾了吧
Well, if everyone's done, boys, would you clear the table?
-好 -那我最喜欢的歌♥呢
-Yeah. -What about my favorite song?
有人知道吗
Anyone?
前三名中的一首也行
Maybe just one of the top three?
我们明白 爸爸 你是个神秘的人
We get it, Dad. You're a man of mystery.
妈妈 你没事吧
Mom? Are you okay?
这一下踢得够重的
That was a big one.
这很正常 亲爱的 只是身体在为未来做准备
It's perfectly normal, dear. It's just the body getting ready for what's to come.
祝你生日快乐…
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you
生日快乐…
Happy birthday, happy birthday
祝你生日快乐
Happy birthday to you
好耶
Yay!
谢谢你们 我好开心 谢谢…
Thank you, guys. I'm so happy, thank--
-好耶 -好耶
-Yay! -Yeah!
我都不知道该许什么愿了 因为我什么都有了
I didn't know what to wish for because I have everything.
要不再来一瓶香槟 好吗
Except maybe another bottle of champagne, yeah?
你们觉得呢
What do you guys think?
-我觉得可以再来一瓶 -对…我也是
-I'm probably good for just one more. -Yes. Yeah, me too.
好 那就再来一瓶 我们在庆祝嘛
Okay, we'll see about that. We're celebrating.
你不喜欢吃蔬菜意面吗 你几乎一点没动
Did you not like your pasta primavera? You hardly ate any of it.
不 我吃了 只是味道很浓 特别容易吃饱
Oh, no, I did! It was just very rich. Really filling.
怎么会 只是蔬菜和意面而已
How? It's just vegetables and pasta.
这就是溺水的感觉吗
Is this what drowning feels like?
是 她可能留着地方吃甜点呢
Yeah, she's probably saving room for dessert.
他们这里的甜点很出名
They have been written up here for this.
流心巧克力熔岩蛋糕
Molten chocolate lava cake.
我们事先就点好了
We preordered it.
厄尼事先点的
Ernie preordered it.
是莉欧娜订位时点的
Leona preordered it when she called up for the reservation.
那也算 厄尼
That still counts, Ern.
天啊 值了 和广♥告♥上一样
Oh, my God. Worth it. As advertised.
我的天 没错 真好吃
Holy shit. Yeah. That is really good.
我得说 天啊
I gotta say, wow!
现在 就趁现在他们沉迷于巧克力的时候
Now. Do it now while they're chocolate drunk.
好了 女王陛下
Well, your Majesty…
什…不
Wha-- No.
两位 我都说我什么都不缺了
You guys, I said I didn't need anything.
这不是你缺的东西 而是你想要的
Well, this is not something you need. It's something you want.
我的天 茜拉 天啊 不行 这太贵重了
Oh, my God, Sheila. Oh, my God, no. This is too much.
-是什么 -是啊 现在我也想知道了 是什么
-What is it? -Yeah, now I wanna know. What is it?
你真令我难以置信
I cannot believe you.
看在老天的份上 格蕾塔 快拿出来
For Christ's sake, Greta, take it out of the bag.
-看 -看起来不错
-Look. -Looks like a nice one.
是 非常不错
Yeah, a very nice one.
你记住了 谁会记得这个啊
You remembered. Who remembers?
我会啊 你值得拥有它
I guess I remember. You deserve it.
好 就这样
Okay, that's it.
现在该在泡泡中喝气泡了 厄尼 买♥♥单吧
It's bubbles in bubbles time for these two, Ern. Wrap it up.
在泡泡中喝气泡是什么
What's bubbles in bubbles?
不许说“如果”、“和”、“但是”
No ifs, ands, or buts.
也许有几个屁♥股♥
Well, maybe a couple butts.
-如果我们走运的话 -厄尼
-If we're lucky. -Ern.
宝贝 你不信这套破烂玩意的
Dude, you don't believe in this crap.
是 我知道 但是…
Yeah, I know, but--
嘿 别说它是破烂玩意
Hey, don't call it crap.
那么我们为什么来这里
So, why are we here?
因为…
Because-- Because…
虽然我从来不信这个
Even though I never believed in this stuff,
来教堂曾经能让我感觉好起来
being here used to make me feel better.
那些蜡烛和整个…
Just the candles and the whole…
你懂的
You know.
神圣的氛围
Sacred vibe?
我想这大概就像海滩一样 只不过是对于无聊的人而言
I guess it's kinda like the beach but for lamers.
我们都不喜欢做自己之前做的事
Neither of us liked doing what we did.
但是…
But…
那不是我们唯一做过的事
it's not the only thing we've done.
我们也做过好事
We've done good stuff too.
其他的事
Other stuff.
这就是令我困扰的地方
That's what sits wrong with me, you know?
我们这次的行为可能会扰乱宇宙的平衡
That we might have put the universe out of whack with this shit.
我指的是因果报应
Karmically speaking.
也许这次行动确实是个坏主意
Well, maybe this was a bad idea.
我们可以放弃
We can bail.
不 等等 我们还是先放松一会儿吧
No, wait. Let's just chill for a minute instead.
他们这里的香薰很赞
They got some pretty dank incense in here.
-在泡泡中喝气泡 -好耶
-Bubbles in bubbles! -Yay!
-是了 -你们懂了吧
-Yeah. -You get it? You get it?
-我们懂了 -冰香槟、热水浴
-We do get it. -Chilled champagne, hot water.
这就是生活啊
This is the life.
是 这消耗很多能源 但是没错
Yeah. It's very energy-intensive, but yeah.
-是… -是
-Yeah, yeah. -Yeah.
-喝完这一杯我们真的该走了 -对 是的
-We should get going after this glass. -Right, yeah.
不 你的酒不够 来添一些
No. You don't have enough. Here's a little more.
总而言之 对我来说
So, anyway, you know, for me,
那是一种很不真实的体验
it's been a real through-the-looking-glass experience.
一切都不一样 不仅仅只是性
Everything is different, and not just the sex.
我现在用不同的视角看到了我的全部生活
I see my whole life now with a different perspective.
只有你的生活吗
Just your life?
不 我们的生活 我和格蕾塔的
No, our life. Mine and Greta's.
宝贝 对吧
Right, baby?
现在我相信美好的性生活是幸福的关键
And I have come to believe that good sex is the crux of happiness.
我不反对
I don't disagree.
-敬幸福 -好
-To happiness. -Yes.
要考虑的是 你个人如何定义美好性生活
However you personally define good sex, that is.
茜拉鲁宾女士 你呢
And what about you, Mrs. Sheila Rubin?
你是如何定义的呢
How do you define it?
对
Yeah.
怎么了 我好奇
What? I'm curious.
不 我…你是在为难她 这不公平
No, I just-- You're putting her on the spot. That's not fair.
我觉得这正是重点 对吗
I thought that was kind of the point, right?
好吧…
Okay…
这个嘛
Well…
美好的性生活就是美好的
Good sex is good sex.
要我说 你看到、感受到的时候就会知道
You know it when you see it and when you feel it, I'd say.
什么啊
What?
不 我…
No, I--
我很爱你 但你这是答非所问
I love you so much but that is a cop-out.
-算是初步回答吧 -我觉得这是完美的答案
-Well, it's a start. -I think that's a perfect answer.
谢谢你们 谢谢
Thank you, guys. Thank you.
好 这样吧
All right, how about this?
不管是真的还是想象中的 你的完美情人是谁
Who would be your ideal lover, either real or imagined?
这个问题好极了 好吧
This is such a great question. Okay.
我的是哥白尼
Mine would be Copernicus…
你应该向他们全盘托出 就现在
You should tell them everything. Right now.
告诉他们那令你欲♥仙♥欲♥死♥的性生活
Tell them about being fucked in ways you've always wanted
但从未曾说出口的那个
but never, ever put words to.
告诉他们 说吧 毁了他们 让这一切结束吧
Tell them. Do it. Ruin them. Just make all of this go away.
好 茜拉 轮到你了
Okay, Sheila, you go.
让男士先说吧
Gentlemen first.
行 好 我可以说
Yes, all right. Yeah, I can go.
是我的话 我的完美情人是
For me, my ideal lover would be,
我的老婆 茜拉
my wife, Sheila.
拜托
Come on.
-怎么了 我爱你 -得了
-What? I love you. -Please.
-你很美 对吧 -你…
-You're beautiful. Right? -You--
你假想的完美情人是我 你的老婆
Your ideal, hypothetical lover is me, your wife?
这个答案真无趣
That is not a fun answer.
-好吧 -很甜蜜 但安全
-Okay. -It's sweet, but it's safe.
你们到底想让我说什么
Well, what the hell do you want me to say?
我完全理解
I understand it completely.