嫁给我（2014）

Hank啊 他是办公室主任
Hank. He's the office manager.
就坐在Barbara旁边
He works right next to Barbara.
我对这些都一无所知啊
Oh, I'm drawing a lot of blanks here.
Babs啊 她女儿刚从康复中心出来
Babs. Her daughter just got out of rehab
因为有严重的浴盐成瘾症
for that crippling bath salts addiction.
他们还给她做过一个报道呢
They did a story about her.
她跑去街上啃别人的脸
She was running through the streets eating people's faces.
在CLM吗
At CLM?
对啊 她在CLM啃了张脸 - 她居然在CLM啃脸
She ate a face at CLM, yeah. - She ate a face at CLM?
就在"带女儿上班日"那天 她啃了张脸
Bring-your-daughter-to-work day, she ate a face.
她啃了Earl的脸
She ate Earl's face.
Earl啊 他组织的益智问答比赛
Earl, he organizes the trivia night.
益智问答 我不知道他们有这个活动啊
Trivia night? I didn't know they did that.
我爱益智问答 特别是在晚上举办的时候
I love trivia. Especially when it's cloaked by the night.
对啊 特别轻怂
Yeah, it's pretty chell.
哇 听起来真的很轻怂
Wow. That does sound pretty chell.
我老实说 这超级轻怂紫在的
It's hella chell, if I'm being honest.
我不知道你为什么常说
You know, I don't know why you always said
他们是什么无名呆板的公♥司♥
they're some big nameless, faceless corporation.
我们是一家人 一个有一万人的大家庭
We're a family. A big, 10,000 person family.
我们就像摩♥门♥教♥徒 不过我们可以喝咖啡
We're like mormons, except we get to drink coffee.
谁在敲门啊 - 不知道是谁 但肯定是个人
Who's that? - I don't know, but it's somebody.
是Annie的老板Janet
Annie's boss Janet!
Jazz 你在这干嘛啊
Jazz. What are you doing here?
Janet 你来了 真是太棒了
Janet, you are here, and that is neat.
对 是挺棒的 呃 这是我的朋友Gil
Yes, that is neat. And, uh, this is my friend, Gil,
打仗时候认识的
from the war.
我叫Jazz(爵士)了 - 哦
I'm Jazz. - Hmm.
我叫姚滚 - Annie
I'm rock and roll. - Annie,
我能跟你说句话吗 - 可以
may I have a word? - Yes.
我想我来这的原因很明确了
I think it's pretty clear why I'm here.
我觉得任何人来这儿的原因都不明确
Well, I don't think it's clear why any of us are here.
我说 宇宙啊
I mean, the universe, right?
我们是由鱼变来的呢 - 嘘
We were once fish. - Pfft!
你也许有注意到Jazz和我
All right, you probably noticed that Jazz and I
在水疗那儿聊得很投缘 - 啥
really hit it off at the spa. - Huh?
拜托 我们之间的化学反应太浓烈了
Please. I mean, the chemistry was so intense
你都可以听到我卵子掉落的声音
you could hear my egg drop.
所以我过来是想告诉你
So, I came over here to tell you
我要对他展开热烈追求
that I'm going to actively pursue him.
啥 - 而我最喜欢在他们
Huh? - And since I like to pounce
最脆弱的时候突袭
when they're at their most vulnerable,
我必须要去参加葬礼
I'm gonna have to go ahead and attend that funeral, okay?
葬 对对 葬礼
The fun... yes, the... the funeral.
悲剧还在继续
Well, the tragedy continues
因为我们不会举办葬礼的
because we aren't having one of those.
没有葬礼
No funeral?
在他的公♥司♥会有一个追悼会
Oh, well, there is gonna be a memorial service at his office,
如果你想来的话
if that helps.
我不想把话说得太早
I don't want to get ahead of myself,
但很多人都把这称为
but a lot of people are calling it
"财政季度最佳追悼会"
the memorial service of the fiscal quarter.
那我们那里见了
I will see you there.
我从来不在追悼会上穿内♥裤♥的
Oh, and I never wear underwear at a memorial service,
就这么说吧 那里不会有干燥的座位的
so let's just say there's not going to be a dry seat in the house.
我们还是别这么说吧
Oh, let's not say that.
好吧 到时见
All right, well, see you there.
嗨 - 嗨 酷小子
Hey. - Hey, cool guy.
你这帽子和墨镜是怎么回事
What's up with the hat and the shades?
帽子墨镜礼拜四是下个礼拜二啊
Hat-and-shades Thursday isn't until next Tuesday.
我们要重新定日期 因为有个人死了
We had to reschedule it 'cause some guy died.
我也不知道 - 是我啊 Gil
I don't know. - Me, Gil.
我死了
I died.
想要尽量低调点
Just trying to keep a low pro
因为我不应该来这的
because I'm not supposed to be here.
但是Jazz会来
But Jazz is.
我就是Jazz
I'm Jazz.
我是姚滚 我们不是已经说过了嘛
And I'm rock and roll. We've already been through this.
我要跟我朋友们打声招呼
Ooh, I gotta go say hi to my friends.
他们这一天过得不顺啊
They're having a tough day.
打印机没墨了
The toner didn't come in.
嗨 嗨
Hey, hey.
看看他那些炫目的手势
Look at all those sweet handshakes he's doing.
啊 - 哦 Annie
Ahh! - Oh, Annie.
Annie 在这儿
Annie, right here.
你可能要挪个地 Annie 快来
You might need to move. Annie, come on.
我必须要跟她一块坐
I have to go sit with her.
我会待在后面
I'll stay back.
Jazz不跟我们一块坐吗
Oh, isn't Jazz going to join us?
呃 他很怕幻灯片的
Uh, he's scared of powerpoints, you know?
因为他打过仗 - 哦
Because of the war. - Oh.
我喜欢这样的 可塑之才
I like it. A fixer-upper.
你要这么穿吗
Oh, you're gonna wear that?
当然了 我都到这了
Yeah, obviously. I'm already here.
你们俩过来干什么
What the hell are you two doing here?
我们不会错过你的葬礼啊 哥们
We wouldn't miss your funeral, buddy.
而且 Barbara做了她拿手的芥末蛋
Besides, Barbara made her famous deviled eggs.
嗨 Babs
Hey, babs.
结束之后 Hank要带大家去打保龄球
And Hank's taking everybody bowling after.
他特别厉害
He's really good.
所以你们现在都跟Barbara和Hank玩在一块了
Wait, so you two are hanging out with Barbara and Hank now?
天哪 我觉得我在那种电影里面
God, I feel like I'm in one of those movies
像尼古拉斯凯奇一样 想着如果做了不同的选择
where Nic cage learns what his life could have been like
人生会变成什么样
if he just made a couple of different choices.
好了 我们开始吧
All right, let's get started.
我们的哥们Gil会主持这次追悼会
Our buddy Gil's gonna take us through the announcements
用一个非常特别的幻灯片开场
starting with a very special powerpoint to commemorate
来悼念我们的一员Jack Chuffman
the passing of one of our team members Jack Chuffman.
上吧 Gil
Get it, Gil!
谢谢
Thank you.
他的死亡让我们走到了一起
His death brought us together.
但我的幻灯片会让我们振奋起来
But my powerpoint will lift us up.
这就是Jack Chuffman
This was Jack Chuffman.
拜托啊
Oh, come on.
这比我想象中的要伤感
This is sadder than I thought it would be,
不过是不同的方式
but in a different way.
你要上去说几句话吗
You gonna get up there and say a few words?
这首歌♥把我想说的都说了
This song says it better than I ever could.
Annie 你至少应该上去
Annie, the least you can do is get up there
说一些关于你过世的未婚夫的话
and say a few words about your dead fiance.
嘿 Janet 我没有冒犯之意
Hey, all due respect, Janet,
但我会用自己的方式哀悼的
I'll grieve in my own way.
谢谢你 你不需要告诉我应该怎么做
Thank you. You don't need to tell me what to do here.
我们不是在办公室
We're not at the office.
总要有人告诉你 你悼念的方式有问题
Well, somebody should 'cause you're mourning wrong.
好吧 我要去说点什么
You know what? I am gonna say a few words.
真正地来一点Moncia
A little bit of Monica indeed.
我是Annie Jake的未婚妻
I'm Annie. I'm Jake's fiance.
过去的48小时很奇怪
And it's been a weird 48.
不过要说我从Jake的死亡中学到什么
But if I have learned anything from this whole "Jake is dead" Thing,
那就是 人生苦短
it's that life is short.
这就是为什么 Janet 我♥干♥不下去了
And that is why, Janet, I'm done. I'm done.
我辞职 - 什么
I quit. - What?
我也要辞职
I quit, too.
我也辞 - 不 不 不
And I quit. - No, no. No.
不好意思 我不在这工作
No, I'm sorry, I don't work here,
这不是像<甜心先生>里面的Jerry Maguire那样
so it's not like a Jerry Maguire thing.
忘了我说的吧 - 我同意
Never mind. - Second that.
不好意思 在这我们都是团队合作者
Sorry, we're all just such team players here.
我想要成为这个团队的一份子
And that's a team I want to be part of.