嫁给我（2014）

这场争夺Scooby之战
this battle over Scooby
已经越发失控了
Is getting out of control.
还要蘸酱吗 - 好
Want more dipping sauce? - Yeah.
这是我的鱿鱼圈
And that's my calamari.
我一直以为新娘哥斯拉是一个传说
You know, I always thought this whole bridezilla thing was just a myth,
但Annie在我眼前 活脱脱地变身了
but Annie has changed right in front of my eyes.
就像Chris Pratt的身材一样
Like Chris Pratt's body.
我知道 他现在身材棒极了
Oh, I know. He is right and tight now.
他做了什么
What did he do?
他怎么做到的
How does he get it done?
他哪来的时间 - 他工作那么忙
Where does he find the time? - He works so hard.
是啊 我试着跟Kevin谈了
Yeah. Well, I tried to talk to Kevin,
但他也陷入了婚礼狂热症
But he's gone wedding-mad too.
要知道跟自己的亲女儿竞争
You know, competing with your own daughter
可不是什么好形象
Is not a good look for him.
比他烫头发还难看
It's worse than the time that he got a perm.
我们都知道 Annie为了Kevin
The thing is, Annie would give her life
可以献出一切
As we know it for Kevin.
他们为对方而活 - 他们就是彼此
They live for each other. - They are each other.
所以这场面简直无情
That's why it's so hard to watch.
我们必须让他俩讲和
We have to get these two to talk
因为Scooby不可能
Because it's physically impossible for Scooby
同时参加两场婚礼
To go to both weddings.
等等 我可能有个主意了
Wait, I may have an idea.
等等
Wait.
我要再喝杯威士忌
I may have a scotch.
酒保
Bartender?
那是个普加贝壳吗 - 嗨 大伙
Is that a puca shell? - Hey, everybody.
*生日生日快乐 祝你生日快乐*
*Happy, happy, birthday, happy, happy you*
*生日生日快乐 祝Scooby生日快乐*
*happy birthday to Scooby dooby doo*
生日快乐 - 祝你开心
Happy birthday. - Have a good one.
谢谢 但是今天
Aw, thank you. But it's...
今天不是我生日
It's not my b-day.
我知道 但是我们赶不上了
I know, but we're going to miss it,
我才不要那样
and I hate that.
所以Kevin和我就想 - 不不不
So Kevin and I thought... - No, no,
这和我没有关系
I had nothing to do with this.
我们可以今天给你庆祝生日
That we would celebrate your birthday today.
我们的蛋糕也快到了 比那个更大
Our cake is coming, and it's bigger.
Jake 去买♥♥个更大的蛋糕
Jake, go get a bigger cake.
够了
Oh, all right.
别再来蛋糕了 别再来蛋糕了
No more cake, no more cake, no more cake, no more cake.
Scooby抢夺战结束了 结束了
No more fighting over Scooby, that's it!
什么 抢
What? Fighting?
胡说什么 谁抢了
That's so crazy. Who...
我可是她爸 - 我们才不会抢
I'm her dad. - We don't fight.
才不会 - 不可能嘛
Doesn't happen. - It's like, what?
我有个办法 能让你们都请到Scooby
I have a solution where you can both have Scooby
用同一家花店的花
And you can both have the florist,
都能有濒危鸟类作装饰
and you can both have the endangered birds.
我们来个布雷迪姐妹那样的
How about we do it up Brady-sister style
双重婚礼怎么样
And have a double wedding?
哇 等等 你们愿意为了我这么做吗
Whoa, wait, you cats would do that for me
好棒 双重婚礼
Yeah! Double wedding?
双重精彩
Double amazing.
你们觉得怎样
What do you think?
真是疯 - 真是蠢
That sounds cra... - that's... that's Stu...
春 - 风 极了
oooooooooo... - aaaay... ate.
好极了 - 很好
Great. - Really good.
双重婚礼
Double wedding?
我才不想和我爸一起结婚
I don't want to get married with my dads.
我小时候想嫁给他们
I mean, I wanted to marry my dads when I was little,
但是我也想和Donald Rumsfeld结婚
but I also wanted to marry Donald Rumsfeld.
他又健壮 又果断 又
He's just so strong, he's decisive, and he's...
跑偏了
off topic.
听着 这么做都是为了你 宝儿
Look, I am doing this for you, bae.
等等 你说的对 宝儿是比宝贝说起来简单多了
Hey, wait, you're right... bae is so much easier than babe.
我知道 是吧
I know, right?
听着 这是我宏伟计划的一步
Look, this is all part of my master plan
让Scooby来参加我们的婚礼
to get Scooby at our wedding.
你♥爸♥爸们也不可能
There's no possible way
愿意举办双重婚礼的 对吧
that your dads want a double wedding either, right?
所以第一个承认
So the first person to admit
不想举办双重婚礼的人
That they don't want a double wedding
也就等于放弃了Scooby
Is also willing to lose Scooby.
你个邪恶坏气的天才
You evil, handsome genius.
是啊 就像<圣经>里面所罗门的故事
Yeah, it's like that bible story with Solomon.
还是Shecky
Or is it Shecky?
他们把小孩分成两半
You know, where they split the baby in two...
还是分了T恤来着
Or is it a t-shirt?
我觉得是小孩
I'm gonna go with baby.
那个小孩穿了件T恤吗
Was the baby wearing a t-shirt?
谢谢你
Hey, thank you.
谢谢你明白Scooby对我来说有多重要
Thank you for getting how important Scooby is to me.
当然 现在 你要做的就是
Hey, of course. Now, look, all you have to do
假装你很喜欢这个主意
Is prete nd that you love the double wedding idea,
好吗 - 没问题
All right? - Okay.
不管怎么样 都别露馅
And whatever you do, don't crack,
否则你就输了
Otherwise we might lose Scooby.
好吧 我可以的
Okay, I can do this.
我是个好演员
I mean, I am a great actress.
我相信你
I believe that.
我找到戒指了 - 淡定点 小疯子
I found my ring! - Take it down, madea.
我找到戒指了
I found my ring.
我们说到哪了
So, where were we?
我们在谈绝妙的双重婚礼的事
We were talking about the amazing double wedding idea.
双重婚礼 对
Double wedding, right.
知道吗 我爱死这个主意了
You know, I am loving this idea.
是啊 我比你还喜欢
Yeah, I... I'm loving it more.
一想到得站在聚光灯下
I mean, the thought of being in the spotlight the whole day
就有点胆怯 知道吗
Is so daunting, you know,
我们四个人一起会更有意思
it'll just be fun to be up there together, all four of us.
对 我完全同意
Yeah, I totally agree.
能在同一天举♥行♥婚礼 一起过纪念日的机会
I mean, the chance to share the day... to share an anniversary,
真是独特 - 太有特点了
So special. - So special.
老天 我们可以一起邀请宾客
Oh, my gosh, we could do a joint invitation.
棒极了
Love that!
我们四个的照片都印在请柬上 太好了
I mean, with all of our faces on the card, I mean, come on!
我等不及要来一支四人开场舞了
And I can't wait for the four-way first dance.
是啊 - 一起致辞
No. - Same time speeches!
太好了 这样吧
I love it. You know what?
既然都双重婚礼了
Why even do a double wedding
再来个双重蜜月
when we could do a double honeymoon!
对啊 我都可以想象到了
Yeah, I can just see it now.
四个火枪手裸身躺在马尔代夫的沙滩上
The four musketeers lying naked on the beaches of the Maldives.
对啊 住隔壁的房♥间
Yeah, with adjoining rooms!
能不分开就更好了
Why should we even spend a day apart?
嗨 你们想要分享同一杯菠萝冰淇淋吗
Hey, do you guys want to share a pineapple ice cream boat?
或者樱桃 - 不
Or a cherry... - No, no!
我不想分享什么破冰淇淋
I do not want to share a stupid pineapple ice cream boat thingy,
我也不想分享我的婚礼
And I do not want to share my wedding.
我只是在用演技伪装自己
I was just using my acting.
好歹演了一阵子
And it was good for a while.
也许有人得去和她谈谈
Someone should probably go talk...
也许我得去和她谈谈了 好吧
I... I should probably go talk to her. Okay.
我不知道刚才发生了什么
So I don't know what just happened,
但我知道 我刚才
but what I do know is that my behavior has been
就像Michael Lohan一样没个父亲样
Michael Lohan-level unfatherly.
我也和<舞蹈妈妈>里面的女儿一样糟糕
And I have been Dance Moms-level daughter bad.
我知道你没听懂 - 才没有 我懂了
And I know that was confusing. - Not to me it wasn't.