嫁给我（2014）

虽然我努力克制住 可是
And I've been trying to work through it, but...
真为你难过 小可怜
Oh, I'm so sorry, you poor thing.
我之前还那么为难你
Oh, and I've been so hard on you.
这就说得通了 难怪你的工作做得那么糟糕
And that explains why your work has been so subpar and childlike.
好的 我走了
Okay. I'm gonna go.
人工服务 人工
Human operator. Human.
不 宝贝 你干什么啊
Oh, no, babe. What are you doing?
我正跟社会安♥全♥局♥打电♥话♥呢
That was the social security office.
Jake 继续死下去吧
Jake, stay dead.
只要你死着 你就不用去上班
Because as long as you are, you don't have to go to work,
我也不用去上班
I don't have to go to work,
我们终于可以过个约会夜了
we can finally have a date night.
我们可以过个约会周
We can have a whole date week.
所以 忘了这些吧 吻我
So just forget about this, and kiss me
用你的死尸之唇 - 宝贝
with your corpse mouth. - Oh, yeah, baby.
我要把死者的舌头伸到你鲜活的喉咙里
I'm gonna shove my dead tongue down your living throat.
没错 来吧
Oh, yes, please.
我们就不是那一类人
You know, we're just not these kinds of people.
不 不 我们在这吃饭呢
No, no. We eat off this thing, you know?
这太不卫生了 - 对你来说也太低了
It's not sanitary. - It's so low with your back.
对 另一个房♥间有柔软的大床等着我们
Yeah. Soft bed in the other room right there waiting for us.
没错 我去刷个牙 马上回来
Yeah. Just gonna brush my teeth. I'll be right in.
好 太好了
All right. Very good.
哇哦 Annie 这酒店太爽了
Wow, Annie, this hotel is so chell.
难以置信 是你设计了这一切
I can't believe you designed all of this.
谢了 宝贝
Thanks, babe.
如果没有Janet一直吼我
I couldn't have done it without Janet
还侵占了我的劳动果实 我肯定做不到
screaming at me and taking credit for my work.
啊 她把工作的乐趣全夺走了
Ah, she just sucks all the joy out of my job.
真庆幸我们来了
I'm really glad we came.
看着我创造的这一切
Seeing everything I created really reminds me of
让我想起我有多爱这些东西
how much I love this stuff.
对 我也很高兴被Brianna弄死了
Yeah. And I'm glad Brianna killed me.
否则我只能困在枯燥的小隔间里
Otherwise I'd be stuck in a sterile cubicle
而不是在这里轻怂
instead of straight up chelling.
对 - 如果说错了就纠正我
Yeah. - Correct me if I'm wrong,
你是不是说过这个欧式水疗是
but didn't you say that this euro-spa is...
可以不♥穿♥衣服的 - 啊哦
Clothing optional? - Uh-oh.
小老鼠们都快藏好 蟒蛇出动了
Hide your field mice, the snake is loose.
没错 而且饥渴
Yeah. And thirsty.
别这么恶心 - 不 不
Don't be gross. - Uh, no, no.
我是想说 你能不能再去拿点饮料
I just meant can you grab us a few more drinks?
好 当然没问题
Oh, yes. Of course. No problem.
再来两杯莫斯科骡子
Two more Moscow mules, please.
Oprah和Gayle都爱喝这个 我也是
Oprah and Gayle love them, so do I.
Annie
Annie?
Janet 你怎么在这儿
Janet. What are you doing here?
你不喜欢和客户互动的啊
You hate interacting with clients.
没错 但是我得来送这些大厅设计方案
Yeah, true, but I had to drop off these lobby designs
因为你这会儿本该窝在家里黯然伤心
because you were supposed to be at home grieving.
对 本来是这样 可我不能待在那个房♥子里
Yeah, I was, but I can't stay in that house.
那个我们曾经共享的爱巢
Not... not the house that we shared as lovers.
我必须来这里 逃离悲伤
I had to come here to get away from the sadness
逃离那些记忆
and the memories...
还有酒
Oh, and the drinks?
没错
Yes.
这一杯倒给我亲爱的
Just pouring one out for my homie.
愿你安息 Jake 安息吧
R.I.P., Jake. R.I.P.
嘿 怎么饮料还没好
Hey, what's the 411 on those drinks?
我想在我的小♥弟♥弟♥泡下水的时候喝点东西
I want to wet my whistle while I wet my Willy.
Annie 这位裸男是和你一起的吗
Oh, Annie, is this naked guy with you?
呃 是的 是的
Um, yes. Yes.
这是 穿上 这是Jake的弟弟
This... put this on. This... this is Jake's brother,
Ja Jezz Jazz Jazz Jazz
Ja... Jezz. Jazz. Jazz, Jazz.
他叫Jazz
This man's name is Jazz.
Jazz 介绍一下 这位是我的老板
Jazz, I would like for you to meet my boss from work
Janet L'amour 来自
Janet L'amour of
"Janet L'amour开办的Janet L'amour设计公♥司♥的那个Janet"
"Janet for Janet L'amour designs by Janet L'amour."
是Janet啊 Annie跟我说过很
Oh, Janet. Annie's told me so, uh,
少关于你的事
little about you.
没错 因为我们 我们没怎么见过面
Yeah, because we... we don't really see much of each other
也不了解对方
and know much of each other
因为 我之前在阿富汗
because I was in Afghanistan,
而我哥哥Jake 他不支持从军
and my brother, Jake, did not support the troops,
也就是我 所以
which vis-a-vis was me, so...
我们就大吵了一架 懂吧
We had a falling out, you know?
那边很热的 你知道吗
So, it's hot there, you know?
很多人都不知道阿富汗很热 -好了 够了
A lot of people don't know that about Afghanistan. - Okay, that's good.
所以 你们俩是一起来的
So, the two of you came here together?
一起来裸体水疗 - 对 因为我们
To a nude spa? - Yes, because we...
我们都感受到 Jake想让我们裸着
We both feel that Jake would want us to be nude...
没错 - 象征着重生
Yep. - As a symbol of rebirth.
对 这是为了你啊 哥哥
Yeah. This is for you, big brother.
我们很想你 - 啊
And we miss you a lot. - Ahh.
不 不 等下
No, no, wait.
你真贴心 Jazz
Well, it's real nice of you, Jazz,
专程从大老远的阿富汗赶来支持Annie
to come all the way from Afghanistan to support Annie here.
另外 呃 嘿 知道吗
And, um, hey, you know,
如果你需要另一个肩膀供你哭泣
if you need another shoulder to cry on,
我只想告诉你 我的大门永远敞开
I just want you to know that my door is always open,
而且 可以不♥穿♥衣服哦
and the clothes are optional.
开玩笑的
That's a joke.
这真是 咻
That's... whew.
谢天谢地 幸好我上过军事强化课程
Thank god I took those military improv classes.
对 真是帮了大忙了 - 对吧
Yeah. Those really helped. - Right?
不敢相信 Janet竟然在那儿
I can't believe Janet was there.
我搞不清楚了
I didn't think this thing through.
等我回去上班
I mean, what am I going to tell her when I have to go back to work,
她发现我在筹划和你的婚礼 我该怎么跟她解释
and she sees that I'm still planning a wedding with you?
好吧 这么办
Okay, here's the deal.
Jake还是死的
Jake stays dead.
Jazz站出来 做了可敬的事
Jazz steps up, does the honorable thing,
娶他哥哥的遗孀
marries his brother's widow.
经典桥段 - 她会发现的
Old school. - She's gonna figure it out.
宝贝 Janet根本不会琢磨你的私人生活
Babe, Janet doesn't think twice about what you do in your personal life.
而且她肯定又嗑止疼片 然后全忘了
Besides, you know she's just gonna Percocet it and forget it.
Jacob 紧急事件
Jacob, emergency powwow.
我们得把钥匙收回来
We need our key back.
失陪 我要到厕所去干嚎一会
If you'll excuse me, I have some cry-heaving to do in the bathroom.
哇哦 Gil 你竟然穿上正装了
Whoa, Gil, you're wearing an outfit that actually makes sense.
怎么了 兄弟 - 我需要一些建议
What's up, pal? - I need advice.
我要在CLM公♥司♥这周的员工例会上发言
I'm doing the announcements at this week's staff meeting
其中还包括一个五分钟的追悼会
at CLM Solutions, which involves a five-minute memorial segment
纪念已故的你
on the deceased, vis-a-vis, you.
他们只给我五分钟
They're only giving me five minutes?
嘿 是我据理力争才五分钟
Hey, I had to push for five.
他们本来就给你两分钟而已
They wanted to give you a hard two.
什么
What?
不管怎么说 我想办得精彩
But anyway, I want to make sure it's really awesome.
谢了 兄弟
Oh, thanks, buddy.
以此给Hank留个好印象
So I can impress Hank.
现在 想一下
Now think for a second.
哪首歌♥搭配已故Jake的照片更好
What's a better song to go with pictures of dead Jake?
是Sarah McLachlan的<我会记得你>
Is it I will remember you by Sarah McLachlan,
还是Lou Bega的<曼波五号♥>
or Mambo No. 5 by Lou Bega?
你开玩笑吗
Is that a joke?
你想在展示已故的我的照片时放首歌♥
You want to play a song to pictures of dead me?
当然是Lou Bega - 我就是这么想的
It's obviously Lou Bega. - No, that's what I thought.
我就是想问问你的意见 以示尊敬
But I wanted to run it by you out of respect.
你说的这个Hank是谁啊
Who is this Hank guy you're talking about?