嫁给我（2014）

因为测试一旦开始
Because once the noise has been brought,
就停不下来了
it cannot be unbrought.
哦 开始吧 说真的
Oh, bring the noise, and honestly,
再来点放克音乐吧 因为我很期待
bring the funk as well, because I am looking forward to this.
她说的是真话
And, she is telling the truth.
放克音乐也是真话吗
About the funk as well?
尤其是放克音乐
Especially about the funk.
为了确保这台测谎仪是正确的
But we should ask a few more questions
我得多问几个问题 所以请你们说出自己的全名
to make sure it's calibrated, so please state your full names.
Annie Evita Fletcher
Annie Evita Fletcher.
Jacob Herbert Schuffman
Jacob Herbert Schuffman.
正确
True.
最喜欢的食物 - 切 奶酪薯条
Favorite food? - Cheese fries, duh.
凯撒沙拉 调味过的
Caesar salad... dressing.
正确 而且完全正确
True. Very true, by the way.
你认可我的约会对象吗
Do you approve of my dating choices?
当然啦 - 谢谢你
Of course. - Thank you, girl.
我们需要校准 这是谎言
And we are calibrated. That was a lie.
什么
What?
但是我们相信有一天你会找到真爱
But we do believe you'll find love one day.
又是假的 战况激烈啊 伙计们
Another lie. We're hot, people.
对于Dennah来说真是个痛苦的夜晚 - 好吧 Annie
Tough evening for Dennah. - Okay, Annie,
既然我们都这样了 我想问你
as long as we're here, am I the best lover
我是你谈过的最好的男友吗 我是最大的那个吗
you've ever had? Am I the biggest?
你内心有没有出过轨呢
Have you ever cheated in your heart?
你思想上有没有出过轨呢
Have you ever cheated in your mind?
你真的投过票吗
Have you ever actually voted... And I'm not talking about
我不是说为巧克力豆的颜色或者美国偶像投票
for the color of an M&M or American idol.
这真是悲哀
This is really sad.
是的 以一英寸险胜 没有出轨
Yes, yes by an inch, no to that cheating run,
是的 我给一个黑人投了一票
and yes, I voted for the black guy...
在Buzzfeed网的一个调查
In Buzzfeed's "Who's your favorite
"谁是你最喜爱的大团圆结局人物"
happy endings character" Poll.
哇哦 都是正确的 她很诚实
Wow, all true. She's on the level.
好了 够了 够了 让我们直击核心问题
Okay, enough, enough... let's get to the main event here.
你看<摩尔人>了吗
Did you watch the moors?
哦 问题跳得太快了吧
Oh, that was fast. Right out of the gate.
好吧 当然 好的 你准备好了吗
Okay, sure, fine. You ready?
没看
No.
指针摇晃了 他像个西班牙人一样撒谎了
And... dancing needle. He's lying like a Spaniard.
哦
Oh!
等等 让我理理清楚 好吗
Wait, hold on a second. Let me be clear here, okay?
我看过全部的四季节目
I've watched all four seasons.
我们看过摩尔人全部的四季节目
We've watched all four seasons of it, okay,
所以你得问得更详细些 宝贝
so you need to be a little bit more specific, babe.
你看了结局吗
Did you watch the finale?
是的 前两季
Yes... the first two seasons,
还有整个第三季 很多人认为第三季是
and the entire third season, which many people think
分成了13个部分的结局
is a 13-part season finale.
正确 - 下一个问题
True. - Next?
你在我们的录像机上看了<摩尔人>第四季的结局吗
Did you watch the season four finale of the moors on our DVR?
不 Annie 我没有
No, Annie, I did not.
他 没有撒谎
He's... not lying.
不可能 - 哇哦
What? - Wow.
他像个在小型飞机上的胖女人一样流汗
He's sweating like a big lady on a small plane,
但是他确实没有撒谎 - 既然我现在是清白的
but he's not lying. - Well, now my hands are clean,
在我们继续之前 让我来激励一下这个骗子
so before we go any further, let me urge the liar,
不管她是谁 竭力澄清自己
whomever she may be, to come clean
可别在大家面前丢脸
and avoid a public humiliation.
放马过来
Let's dance.
Annie 你有这个胆子
Did you, Annie, dare to have the audacity
在我们的家里 在我的眼皮子底下
to watch the moors finale, without me,
撇下我一个人看<摩尔人>的结局吗
in our very home, under my very nose?
没有
No.
她说的是
She is telling a...
我就知道 - 真话
I knew it. - Truth.
太棒了 - 哦 太棒了
Yes! - Oh yes!
哇哦 - 那是误导
Whoo! - That was misleading.
你知道吗 她在撒谎
You know what? She's lying.
拜托 人是可以骗过这些东西的 对吗 Gary
Come on, people can beat this things, right, Gary?
对 人可以骗过这些东西
Yeah, people can beat these things,
缺失感情的人可以
people that lack empathy,
比如精神病患者或者连环杀手
like psychopaths or serial killers,
又或者是汉堡神偷
or hamburglars.
哦 我的天哪 - 你觉得我是那样的人吗
Oh, my god. - Is that what you think I am?
你觉得我只是一个无情的骗子吗
You think I'm just some heartless liar?
不要 不要回答 不要
Don't... don't answer. Don't.
回答我 - 回答她
Answer me. - Answer her.
不要 - 很好
Don't. - Okay.
问题的关键是 我觉得你是一个无情的骗子
The question is, do I think that you're a heartless liar
就像汉堡神偷一样吗 不
like the hamburglar? No.
呃 还不确定
Uh, inconclusive.
难以置信
You are unbelievable.
你知道吗 我需要 我只是
You know what, I need a... I'm just...
悠着点 那是高科技仪器
Easy with the... That's high tech gear.
这家凯特琳娜披萨鸡肉店真的糟糕透了
This Catalina pizza chicken is gross.
没一口是好吃的
It's like, all bad bites.
不过我爱死了这凌驾于法律之上的感觉
But I am loving this being-above-the-law-thing.
老天 Dennah
Jeez, D. Dennah...
凌驾于法律之上真是酷啊 我过会儿把杂♥志♥还回来
It's cool, above the law. I'll bring 'em back later.
不 我才不会呢
No, I won't.
Dennah 你不能就这样把杂♥志♥拿走
Dennah, you can't just take those.
说什么呢 - 小心
What? - Watch out!
他妈的她有毛病吗
What the hell's wrong with her?
见鬼 D 你刚刚乱扔垃圾 偷窃
Damn, D, you just littered, stole,
还这么稳当地乱穿马路
and jaywalked without breaking stride.
Gil 你会爱上跟一个警♥察♥约会的
Gil, you're gonna love dating a cop.
约会 我们都还没出去呢
Dating? We haven't even gone out yet.
老实说 我超级紧张 我可能要假装我死了
And honestly, I'm so nervous, I may just fake my own death.
哦 Gil 上天保佑 但是你还活着
Oh, Gil, lord love you, but you can't just go
你不能假装你死了
faking your own death through life.
不如我们两对情侣一起约会吧
Why don't we make it a group hang?
那样可以缓解你的紧张
That'll take the pressure off.
谢谢 伙计们
Thanks, guys.
知道吗 不管那些我说过的想过的
You know, despite what I always say and think,
你们真的是很好的朋友 - 哇哦
you're really good friends. - Aw.
哦 我愿意为你做任何事 伙计
Aw, I'd do anything for you, buddy.
别搞砸了 我爱死了这些福利
Just don't screw this up, because I am loving these perks.
走开点 小姐
Keep a-walking, sister.
*下班回到家*
*Coming home from work*
*我需要那个牛肉干*
*'cause I need that jerk...*
*我放在冰箱里的鸡肉*
*Chicken that I got in the fridge*
*既然我在这儿 不妨*
*But as long as I'm here I might as well...*
哦 哦 哦 Jacky的美好时光
Actually, ooh, ooh, ooh. Jakey time.
啊 - 啊
Ahh! - Ahh!
你♥他♥妈♥的在
What the hell are you...
我是说 我们家永远欢迎你 先生
I mean, you're always welcome in our home, sir.
但是 发生什么事了 Kev
But like, what's up, Kev?
呃 - 等等
Um... - Wait a second.
巧克力椒盐饼干和录像机
The chocolate pretzels, the DVR...
原来是你
It was you!
是你一直看<摩尔人>来着 怪不得早午饭时
You were watching the moors. That's why, at brunch,
你一直跟我们说"算了吧 算了吧"之类的
you were, like, telling us all, "Let it go, let it go."
原来一直都是你
Because it was you all along.
什么 不 Jake
What? No, Jake,
你像老总督Grimmelsby一样有幻想症
you are as delusional as old viceroy Grimmelsby.
好吧 那家伙梅毒缠身 满肚子火气
Yeah, well, that guy's syphilis had him all out of sorts,
但重点是 居然是你 Kevin
but the point is, is it was you, Kevin.
好吧 拜托 兄弟 这可是<摩尔人>啊
All right. Come on, man, it's the moors!
听着 我通常用我私藏的iPad看
Look, I usually watch it on my secret iPad,