嫁给我（2014）

女人的舌头还是留在特殊时刻使用吧
And a lady's tongue should be saved for special occasions.
对不
Don't you think?
知道吗 Kay 你说的对
You know, Kay? You're right.
咱们去喝一杯吧
Should we get a drink?
好
Yes.
这太离谱了
This is crazy.
每次我给Annie建议点什么 她都不听
Anytime I suggest anything to Annie, she ignores me,
但是Kay提了同样的意见
but then Kay will suggest the exact same thing
她马上就照做了
and she immediately does it.
我的天哪
Oh, my God.
我有主意了
I have an amazing idea.
我同意
Yes.
是该来点爆米花了
We should get popcorn.
为啥没人听我说话呢
Why won't anybody listen to me?
你打开袋子的时候小心一点啊
You better be careful when you open that.
别担心 我一天做两次哪
Don't worry. I do this twice a day.
噢 我的脸皮
Oh! My face skin!
我的脸皮
My face skin!
快打911
Somebody call 911!
你打啊
You call 911!
对 我来打911
Oh, yeah, no, I'm gonna call 911.
好了 派对狂们 这儿没啥好看的
Okay, party-goers. There's nothing to see here.
真是 呃 一度烫伤和一个猛♥男♥消防员
Just, uh, first degree burns and a hunky fireman.
还有个普通的消防员
And a regular fireman.
救场帅哥们 你们是不是
So do you handsome first responders
见过很多食物悲剧啊
see a lot of food-related tragedies?
能遇到你这么火♥辣♥的姑娘我可不觉得是悲剧
Hard to call meeting a five-alarm hottie a tragedy,
不过 确实 这可是芝加哥
but, yeah. This is Chicago.
上个月有一起意大利牛肉烧伤
Last month we had an Italian beef burn
还有两起波兰饺子烫伤
and two scaldings from Pierogi squirts.
我昨天就被饺子烫伤了
I had the Pierogi squirts yesterday.
太搞笑了 要不要吸点氧
That's hilarious. You want a hit of oxygen?
好的 没它我可活不了
Yeah, sure. I practically live off the stuff.
伙计 你太棒了
Dude, you're on fire.
知道吗 你看起来就像我素未谋面的朋友
You know, you look like a friend I haven't met yet.
咱俩绝对可以成好兄弟
You and I could totally be bros.
击个拳
Pound it.
砰
Boom.
也许咱俩可以互惠互利一下
And maybe you and I could be bros with benefits.
你是说医疗保险还是首选医疗机构保险
So we talking HMO or PPO?
我是在说保险套 我可以做你的供应商
I'm talking DTF, and I can be your preferred provider.
17小队
Ladder 17.
柳条公园发生二级火警
We've got a two-alarm fire at Wicker Park.
该死 我得走了 我还想开玩笑
Damn, I got to go, and I was just about to say something sexy
我的免额赔付可以把你脱裤子都包含在内
about how pants removal's covered by my deductible.
我真的很想听
Oh, I would have loved to have heard that.
其实我已经说完了
That... that was pretty much it.
噢 好好笑
Oh, that was good.
保重啊 兄弟 - 你也是
Stay cool, bro. - Hey, you too.
我得把这个拿走了
I should probably take that.
等等 - 我还没留你的联♥系♥方式呢
Wait! - I didn't get your info!
我的人生挚爱跑了
There goes the love of my life.
为什么这个城市这么爱着火啊
Why is this city so flammable?
Jake 怎么不先打个电♥话♥啊
Jake, why don't you call first?
我正在忙着 啥也不干
I'm right in the middle of making... nothing.
我在吃生松饼糊糊 进来吧
I was eating raw Bisquick. Come on in.
谢谢
Thanks.
好吧 Kay 我就直说了
Look, Kay. I'll get right to it.
你对Annie很有一套 对不
You have a way with Annie, okay?
你说服她把那些外卖♥♥盒子全扔了
I mean, you got her to throw out all those old take out boxes.
你让她停止了舌舔爆米花表演
You got her to stop performing popcorn-ilingus.
她的舌头实在动作太夸张了 - 可不是
Her tongue action is too much. - I know.
但是我说点什么 她总是一点也不听
But whenever I say anything, she doesn't listen to me at all.
你知道的 有时候更容易听朋友的劝告
Well, you know, sometimes it's easier to hear it from a friend.
没错 所以我需要你教我
Exactly, which is why I need you to help me
如何让她听我的话
help her change her for me.
这个 我不知道
Yeah, I don't know.
感觉不对 - 有啥不对的
That seems wrong. - Is it wrong?
我只是想有一些小小的改变
I just want to make a couple of minor tweaks,
肯定每对情侣都这样想的
you know, that any couple would want to do.
难道Haley就没什么地方
I mean, aren't there things about Haley
让你觉得可以稍微改一改吗
that you'd like to change?
我确实希望她别在床上吃海鲜饭了
Hm. Oh, I do wish she'd stop eating seafood paella in bed.
就是嘛 我就是这个意思
Okay. So that's what I'm talking about!
我只是 我只是希望Annie在某些事上稍微改改
I just... I just want Annie to change a couple things,
比如说把袜子卷成球 对不
like ball up her socks, you know?
别把钥匙插在门上
Take the keys out of the door.
别把"牛角包"的发音说得太过了
Stop over-pronouncing croissant.
呕 汉堡王里的人可不想听见这个
Ugh. Nobody wants to hear that at Burger King,
但是我可不想管你们的闲事
but I don't want to get all up in a couple's bid-ness.
求你了 我希望你管管 好不好
Please! I want you in our bid-ness, all right?
我们来当管闲事伙伴吧
Let's be bid-ness partners!
你们的事就是我们的事
Your bid-ness is our relationship,
大家的事 - 打住
and bid-ness is boom... - Stop.
好吧 听着
Okay, look.
你不是想不出来情人节计划吗
You're having a hard time planning Valentine's Day, right?
我非常擅长啊
I crush Valentine's Day!
记不记得我著名的鱼子酱气球密歇根环湖之旅
Remember my famous caviar balloon ride over Lake Michigan?
噢 伙计 那真 不是跟Annie一起
Oh, man. That was... not with Annie.
是跟Annie之前的女友一起
That was with a girl before Annie,
我希望你忘记我刚才说的
so I'd like you to just erase that from your mind.
忘了没 好
Is it gone? Good.
但是我可以帮你设计一次同样很棒的约会
But I can create the same magic for you.
那倒是 我确实想给Haley点特别的惊喜
I mean, I do want to do something special for Haley.
就是 就是
Okay. Okay.
那就帮我给Annie做点小小的调整
Then just help me fix a few tiny things about Annie.
好吧 好吧
All right. Yeah.
好吧 我加入 - 真的吗
Yeah. I'm in. - Yeah?
真的 吃不吃
Yeah. Bisquick?
当然 来点
Uh, absolutely, yeah.
情人节你哪儿都订不到位子了吗
You can't get a Valentine's reservation anywhere?
是啊 最多的只能订到美国娃娃咖啡店
No. The best I could do is a 10:30
还是上午10点半的位子
at the American Girl Doll Cafe,
那样我们就不得不买♥♥个洋娃娃了
but then we'd have to buy dolls.
本来我可以把约瑟芬娜娃娃借你
I guess you could borrow Josephina if you really need her,
但是她很害羞 所以
but she's shy, so...
不用 我知道 我知道
No, I know. I know.
Annie 你怎么这么叠袜子啊
So Annie, what's with the socks?
简直像雨人在打包野营用品
You're folding 'em like Rain Man packing for sleep-away camp.
你应该卷一卷
You should ball 'em.
卷成球状 - 为啥
Be a baller. - Why?
可以给你和Jack的袜子抽屉节约空间
Well, it makes way more room in your sock drawer
而且你也不会丢那么多了
for you and Jake, plus you won't lose as many.
自从我开始卷袜子 我在买♥♥袜子上省了42.6%
After I started balling, my sock budget dropped by 42.6%.
我真是太痴迷用财务软件了
I'm really into Quicken.
我的财务顾问确实建议我们
My financial advisor did tell us
减少袜子上的支出
I need to cut back on leg wear,
还有别在随便把社保号♥
and I stopped giving my social security number out
给别人了 但是我会试试的
all the time... but I'll try it.
唔 我饿了
Oof, I am hungry.
你有没有那种
Do you have any of those...
那种 法国的月亮型面包
oh, those, uh, French bread moons?
你是说牛角包
You mean croissant?
噢 你的发音好奇怪
Oh, that is a rough way to say that.
有 家里有
Yeah, I have some,
而且我的发音很正确
and that's the right way to say that,
你知道我会说法语啊
and you know I speak French.
你就学了一年
You took it for a year.
用法语说句话来
Say one thing in French.
牛角包
Croissant.