嫁给我（2014）

但是我用它凝视星辰时不小心弄坏了
but I broke that while stargazing.
听着 你可不能告诉Kevin
Listen, you cannot tell Kevin about this.
如果他知道我没等他自己就先看了
If he knew that I watched the show without him,
他会伤心死的
it would break his heart.
你当时那么义正言辞 真让人难以置信
After all that talk. I can't believe you.
真是太无情了 兄弟
That is cold, brotha!
我立马就后悔自己的措辞
Oh, I immediately regret both the wording I used there
和含混的城市口音了 所以
and the vaguely urban accent I put on it, so...
等会儿
Wait a second.
你怎么知道Grimmelsby染了梅毒 还导致精神错乱了
How did you know that Grimmelsby had syphilis-induced psychosis?
你说什么 - 那可是季终集里的大转折
What's that now? - That was a huge twist
根本没人能够料到这点
in the finale that no one could have possibly seen coming.
是吗
Was it?
是在 是在 季终集里吗
That was in... That was in the... the finale.
只在季终集里
The only time it was ever shown or talked about
演过 谈论过
was in the finale.
这个剧情转折点是在季终集吗
That plot point was in the finale?
是的 <电视指南>上可没有
Yes. It wasn't in the TV guides.
好吧 哦 好吧
Well, uh... oh, fine!
好吧 我看过了 可以了吧 但我不是故意的
Fine, I watched it, okay, but not on purpose.
我试图看向别处 可是我的眼睛却不由自主
I tried to look away but my eyes kept pulling me back in!
我的天啊 这可是<摩尔人>啊 亲
My god, it's the moors, baby!
这可是<摩尔人>啊 你得理解
It's the moors, you gotta understand.
哦天啊 我一直控诉Annie在撒谎
Oh, my god, I've been accusing Annie of lying this whole time,
而她是完全清白的 我太差劲了
and she's completely innocent. I am the worst.
好了 大伙儿 请就坐 就坐吧
Okay everybody, please, settle down, settle down
咱们好来讨论一下<摩尔人>最终集 怎么样
so we can discuss the moors season finale! What?
好吧 我知道我们都是在这儿看的直播 一直如此
Okay, now, I know we all watched it here live, as we always do,
但是 由于最后的大转折剧情 让人内心翻江倒海
but due to the gut wrenching twists and turns,
很多人都身心不适
many of us were not in the emotional
不能像往常一样加入到
or even physical shape to take part
我们往常的剧后评析中来
in our usual post-moors post-postmortem.
可怜的Lenny中风了 一定别忘了在卡片上签名
Poor Lenny had a stroke, so be sure to sign the card.
我都不确定他还有没有机会看到这张卡
I don't know that he's ever gonna read it.
我知道<摩尔人>因为滥用"偷听"桥段
So I know the moors is taking some heat in the press right now
在媒体上引发了热议
for its gratuitous use of the "Overhearing" Plot device.
我们可以从这里开始讨论了吗
Shall we start the discussions there?
我先来吧 我太爱了 简直太爱了
You know what, I'll start. I loved it! I just loved it.
你还真的看了一整天啊
So you're really just making a day of it?
不看干嘛 - 你猜怎么着
Eh, might as well. - Guess what?
Annie确实先看了<摩尔人> 只是没在家看而已
Annie did watch the moors, okay, just not at home.
所以她才通过了测谎仪
That's why she passed the lie detector test.
她工作的时候一直都看 还有
She's been watching it at work, and get this...
她看了一整季
She's been watching all season.
哦天啊 她可真行
Oh, man, she's good.
很抱歉 你刚刚说的是测谎仪吗
I'm sorry, did you say lie detector test?
能借我吗 替朋友借的
Can I borrow it? It's for a friend.
她总是小题大做
She's the one who's always made such a big deal
非要弄成我俩一起做的事
about it being our thing, you know?
我的意思是 我们做了T恤，特别好的纯棉T恤
I mean, we made t-shirts, really good cotton t-shirts,
现在 我们生活的构架
and now, the fabric of our lives
成了我们谎言的根基
turns out to be the fabric of our lies.
你发现我刚才怎么说的吗
You understand what I did there?
我把"生活"变成了"谎言"
I turned "Lives" Into "Lies."
"谎言" 和 "生活"
"Lies" And "Lives."
干得不错 Jake -谢谢
It's pretty good, Jake. - Thank you.
听着 我一直背着Kevin偷看电视
Look, I've been TV-cheating on Kevin for years.
他也许知道 也许不知道
He may know, he may not know,
但在这个节骨眼上 我们都很明智 闭口不谈
but at this point, we're smart enough not to ask.
你们为什么这么做
But why do you do it?
Kevin看电视的时候喜欢问问题
Kevin loves to ask questions while we're watching our show,
而我喜欢避免用锤子敲死他
and I love not beating him to death with a hammer
要知道他每五秒钟就问一次
because he interrupts every five seconds.
当然 - 这是我俩间特有的
Sure. - It's our thing,
尽管这本身就是个小谎话
even if it is a little bit of a lie.
兄弟 我不知道 我总觉得结婚前
I don't know man, I just don't feel right lying to each other
彼此不应该说谎 你知道的 我希望我们的爱是建立在
before we even get married. You know, I want our love
诚实和信任之上的
to be built on truth and trust.
我真的想赢 你猜怎么着
And I really want this win. You know what?
游戏今晚结束
Tonight, the charade ends.
别想了 Jake 这可是是<摩尔人>啊
Forget it Jake. It's the moors.
这个小流氓竭尽全力
So this punk is running his little heart out.
他竟然觉得自己能行
He actually thinks he's gonna make it.
我就一副"有我在 没门"的架势
I'm like, "Not on my watch, pal."
所以在他回家的路上
So I gun him down from about a hundred feet away,
我百尺外就把他击倒了
just as he was getting home.
天啊 我好喜欢听你的芝加哥警署垒球联赛故事
Man, I love your Chicago PD softball league stories.
而我则喜欢他们故意把话说得
And I love how they all purposefully sound
像在讲凶猛的警♥察♥故事一样
like stories about police brutality.
你说对啦
Yeah!
Gary最会讲故事了
Gary tells the best stories.
啊 谢谢你 宝贝
Aw, thanks, babe.
你们刚才亲亲了吗
Did y'all just kiss?
搞什么鬼 Gary
What the hell, Gary?
听着 这是我们用不太优雅的开口方式
Look, that was our inelegant, and open mouthed way
告诉你们大伙点事
of trying to tell you guys something.
你们知道Laguna Matata和我是伙伴吧
You know Laguna matata and I are partners, right?
是的 知道
Right, got that.
不仅是工作搭档 也是生活伴侣
Well, not just on the force. Also in life.
Gary和我结婚了 - 什么
Gary and I are married. - What?
我们可以和别人约会
And we're allowed to date other people.
我们喜欢把自己想象成
We kinda like to think of ourselves
不受婚姻法约束
as being above the laws of marriage.
Gary 我以为咱俩是认真的
Gary, I thought we were serious.
你可带我妈妈去看过戏了
You took my mom to a play.
Susan可喜欢<南海天堂>了
Susan loved Brigadoon.
这也太疯狂了
This is insane.
每对情侣都有自己的问题
Every couple has their stuff.
我是说 有些是私藏小金库
I mean, some have secret bank accounts,
有些志趣不合
some have their own separate hobbies,
而你的朋友们为一部剧而撒谎
your friends have that show they lie about.
这不一样 - 你说怎么样
That's not the same. - So, what do you say?
咱们去吃点含羞草
Let's have a couple mimosas
再来看看临近中午了 还能发展到哪一步
and see where the mid-morning takes us.
也许会发展到万怡酒店
Maybe it takes us to a courtyard by marriot,
也许我们榨光房♥内的小冰箱 然后"榨光"彼此
and maybe we drain the mini bar, and then each other.
你们看过重装后的万怡酒店吗
Have you seen the courtyard since the renovations?
这对你俩来说很平常吗
Is this something you guys do on a regular basis?
当然 - 当然 不行
Yeah. - Yeah, no.
不管这是闹哪样 我都不同意
I am not down with whatever this is.
就是 连我都觉得奇怪
Yeah, even I think this is weird,
我可是去过小猫受戒礼的人
and I've been to a cat barmitzvah.
这都有什么汤 哪个好
So what's the soup here? What's good?
Gil 我们走
Gil, let's go.
见鬼 - 活见鬼了 对吧
Damn. - Damn, right?
简直糟透了
That was horrible.
你有什么可高兴的
What are you so happy about?
严格来讲 我刚才也算约了个会
I technically just went on a date.
爷重振雄风了
I'm back out there.
好小子 我都说了
Yeah, atta boy. I told you.
搞什么鬼
What the hell?
这就拖走了
Oh, already?
法网啊 果然一下就榨光了啊
The law, her teat doth dryeth quickly.
哦
Oh.
Annie 咱俩需要谈谈
Annie, we need to talk.
对 咱俩得谈谈 - 听着
Yeah, we do. - Listen...
Jake 我想过了
Jake, I thought about it.
这太疯狂了 我们居然为了一部剧吵架
This is crazy. We're fighting over a TV show,
虽然这是一部当代巨著 让<权力的游戏>
albeit a modern masterpiece that makes game of thrones
都看起来像弗罗里达青少年<真人世界>海选带一样
look like a Florida teenager's real world audition tape.