嫁给我（2014）

Yes!
Gil大♥师♥得一分
Score one for the Gil-meister!
账单 你瞅啥瞅
What are you looking at, bills?
下一个就是你
You're next.
这避孕贴真讨厌
Ugh, I really hate this new birth control patch.
我感觉都肿得像
I feel bloated to a level that can only
瓦尔·基尔默一样了
be described as Val Kilmer-Ian.
当我刚换那个的时候 头昏眼花还白日见鬼
When I switched, I had blurred vision and dayterrors,
但还是坚持使用 因为我皮肤变超好哦
but I stuck with it 'cause my skin looks so damn good.
对 你整个人容光焕发
Yeah, you are glowing.
是吗 那个卖♥♥肉的 我们不是说好
Really? That butcher? I thought we agreed
你要删她号♥码吗
you were gonna delete her from your phone.
Kay 她想用你的信♥用♥卡♥买♥♥马哎
Kay, she tried to buy a horse with your credit card.
不是 她不是想用我卡买♥♥马的
No, she didn't try to buy a horse with my credit card.
她真买♥♥了 - 删了那卖♥♥肉的的号♥码
She succeeded. - Delete the butcher's number.
如果我有牛肉引发的急症呢
What if I have a beef-based emergency
或者鸡肉病呢
or a chicken situation?
这是为你好 妹子 - 妹子
It's for your own good, girl. - Girl.
妹子 - 妹子
Girl. - Girl.
妹子 - 妹子们
Girl. - My girls.
亲爱的 你来这干嘛呢
Hey, hon. What are you doing here?
你说我该做Jake想做的事
Well, you said I should do Jake,
Jake就想和妹子们吃早午饭
and Jake wants to do brunch with the ladies.
哦 - 来吧 开吃吧
Oh. - All right, let's brunch it up.
那说啥呢 说啥呢
So what's the dish? What's the dish?
告诉我啊 说啊
Dish it to me. Come on.
那 那
Okay, well...
抱歉 先别说
I'm sorry. Just hold that thought.
不介意我和你换个位子吧
Would you mind if we switched seats?
我背对着门有点不习惯
I just have a thing about having my back to the door.
很奇怪 但他真是这样 - 真的吗
It's weird, but it's real. - Seriously?
算了算了 别动
You know what? Never mind, don't move.
我来 我来 - 啥
I'll move. I'll move. - What?
你干嘛 - 抱歉
What are you... - Excuse me.
啊哦 Jake - 抱歉 抱歉
Ow. Jake. - I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
知道吧
I'm sorry. You know what it is?
你如果也看了36遍<教父>
You watch the godfather 36 times,
你也会像我一样怕
you start to develop these fears.
啊 好多了
Ah, so much better.
看啊 我能看见所有人
Look at that. I can see everybody.
如果有人持枪而入
If somebody comes in with a gun,
我仍会被打死 但我能看到
I'll still get shot, but I'll see it coming.
来吧 继续说吧
All right, come on, let's get into it.
我们听着 我也是闺蜜
Let's hear it. I'm just one of the gals.
好吧 - 好
O... Kay. - Okay.
我记得刚在说
Well, I guess we were just
我的避孕贴让我
discussing how my birth control patch makes me...
哦 哇哇 停 我们吃饭呢
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, no. No, we're eating.
吃饭呢 对吧 看看周围
We're eating, right? So read the room.
我们
Let's...
女士 照顾下听众 嗯
Know your audience, lady. Um...
Kay 说吧 你说吧
Kay, flow. Let it flow.
好吧 我们也谈到是不是我该把
Well, we were also debating whether or not I should delete
那卖♥♥肉的电♥话♥号♥码删了
the number of that butcher I used to sip on.
就那个卖♥♥肉的 - 是啊
The butcher? - Yes.
很明显不该删了这号♥码
Well, you should definitely not delete that number.
她那么妖娆 是吧
I mean, she's hot as hell, right?
Jake 她脑子有毛病 - 正是
Jake, she is crazy. - Yeah, exactly.
有病的妹子恋爱起来最有爆♥炸♥力
I mean, crazy girls are the most explosive lovers.
Annie 这都不能给我点个赞吗
Annie, can I get a what-what on that one?
呃 - 你男人说得对
Ew! - Your man has a point.
她确实知道怎么让我爽
She really knew how to jiggle my gelatin.
Jake 知道吗
Well, Jake, you know what?
有你在真的很开心
This has been really fun having you hang with us,
但我们仨要去上瑜伽课了 你撤吧
but the three of us have to head to our yoga class, so rats.
走吧
Just rats!
要不不走吧 因为我也参加瑜伽课啦
Or no rats because I signed up for the yoga class too.
闺蜜之日开始
Hey, girls' day out.
姨妈期同步中
Synchronizing periods now.
Jake搀和我们的早午饭和瑜伽课 你们认为
So Jake joining us for brunch and yoga... do we think
这是就这一次呢还是持续性的累赘呢
this is a one-time thing or more of a continuous burden?
我保证只要他和Gil
I'm sure it's just until he patches
和好就行了 很快的了
things up with Gil, which will be soon.
喔 嘿 伙计们
Whoo. Hey, guys.
这样子真好
This is gonna be great, you know?
我就在想培养个新爱好
I've been looking for some new hobbies now
因为Gil和我基本上是完犊子了
that Gil and I are completely done for basically ever.
等等 完犊子了 什么意思
Wait, done? What do you mean "Done"?
你们谈过了吗 - 没呢
Have you not talked at all? - Nope. Yeah.
我很平静 知道吧
And I'm at peace with it, you know?
我很好 好 好 好
I am good. Good, good, good.
妹子们 我们可能有更大的问题了
Guys, we may have a bigger problem here.
Gil和Jake从没这么久没说过话
This is the longest Jake and Gil have gone without talking.
也许在改善Gil时 我们拆散Jake和Gil了
Maybe in trying to fix Gil, we broke Jake and Gil.
对啊 但计划似乎有效果啊
Yeah, but our plan is kind of working.
Gil有不少进步呢
I mean, Gil's making real progress.
你们没看他的Instagram吗
Have you seen his instagram?
他榨了很多果汁呢
He is making a lot of juice. Wow.
还开始用Instagram了
And using Instagram.
他用户名是他社保号♥
His user name is his social security number,
可是 对啊 对Gil来说 进步太大了
but, yeah, for Gil, no, this is super impressive.
或许就再等个几天就好了
Maybe we should just give it a few more days.
这是Jake和Gil哎 他们会和好的 是吧
I mean, it's Jake and Gil. They're gonna be fine, right?
说实话 我想也是
I think you're right, honestly.
哇哦 - 别乱踢 伙计
Whoa. - Watch your kicks, man.
哦 抱歉 - 头发都踢乱了
Oh, sorry. - Blew my braid back.
嘿 如果我要尿尿怎么办 中间有休息吗
Hey, what if I have to pee? Or is there an intermission?
别操心这个
You know what? Actually, don't worry about it.
我就是有点紧张
I'm just nervous, I think.
别担心 跟着我做
don't worry. Just follow me.
我基本上是班级之星
I'm sort of the star of the class.
我照片都上他们网站首页了
My picture's on the front page of the studio's website.
嘿嘿嘿 达人啊
Hey, hey, hey. Ringer.
好了 各位 请大家开始冥想
Okay, everyone, let's quiet the minds.
嘿 教练 你好 我是Jake
Hey, what's up, coach? Jake.
我新来的 别为难我
New student here, so take it easy on me.
好的 Jake
Okay, Jake.
现在开始下犬式
And now let's go into downward dog.
如果你要帮忙 可以找我
If anyone needs any help, you may ask myself
或者我最好最漂亮的学生Dennah
or my best and most beautiful student, Dennah.
嗨 是我 - 嗨
Hi, it's me. - Hi, you.
我想告诉你 我也做私下培训
I want you to know that I do privates,
你怎么解读都可以
and you can interpret that any way you want.
我们一起来解读一下好吗
Well, how about we interpret it together?
你真是一个瑜伽老师吗
Are you even a real yoga teacher?
嘘 Franny 拜托 - 是Annie
Shh, Franny, please. - It's Annie.
呃 帮个小忙 我不小心翻过来了
Uh, a little help? I accidentally fell upside down.
你不小心做成了标准的鹤禅式
You accidentally slipped into a textbook crow pose.
现在这么来 慢慢放下你的腿
Here's what I want you to do. Slowly lower your legs.
放下我 好的
Lower my... all right.
好的 这样是吗 抱歉
Okay, like this? I'm sorry.
以前我从没做过瑜伽
I've never done yoga before.
很显然 你不该说话的
Clearly. You're not supposed to talk in here.
Dennah 请安静点
Dennah, please. No talking in here.
实际上我还从没见过
I've actually never seen this pose
有人在非圆顶帐篷中做这个姿势呢
executed in a non-yurt setting.
我能给您照张像吗
May I please take your photograph
把它作为网站首页
for the front page of the website?
没问题 - 好
No problem. - Okay.
我们得让Jake和Gil和好
We got to get Jake and Gil back together right now.
哦 天哪 我做出来了