嫁给我（2014）

我们准备看Gary Marshall的电影<情人节>
We're gonna watch Gary Marshall's Valentine's Day.
有些计划确实是刚刚想出来的
Some of our activities are pretty first-thought.
是啊
Yeah.
嘿 这件长袖T很舒服吧
Hey! Ooh, that's a comfy long-sleeved tee.
是啊 我突然不喜欢穿无袖上衣了
Oh, yeah. All of a sudden I'm over the whole tank top thing.
你知道 深藏不露
You know, there's kind of a quiet dignity
感觉很高尚呢
in having it but not flaunting it.
哇哦 你真是成长了
Wow. You're really growing.
而且我注意到你完全没有抓嗝
And I noticed you're not doing that whole burp-catch thing,
或者一段话引用Howard Stern三次
or quoting Howard Stern three times a conversation anymore.
你猜怎么着
You know what?
Baba Booey已经为Howard Stern宣传得够多了
There's a time and a place for "Baba Booey."
我知道他有个秀
I think... I think I'm old enough to know that now.
嘿 我发现你也改变了不少
Hey, and I've noticed you've been doing some changing too.
我要将你称为
You know? You're what I would cleverly call
团袜子达人和牛角包好好念星人
a real sock-baller croissant-caller.
Annie 我从未这样更爱你
Annie, I have never loved you more.
抱歉 你刚才说什么
Sorry. What... what was that?
我说我从未这样更爱你
I said I have never loved you more.
等下 你从未这样更爱我是什么意思
Wait, what do you mean you've never loved me more?
你是不是说 我改变之前
I mean, does that mean you loved me less
你爱我更少一点
before I made these changes?
不 完全不是 我一直都爱你
No. Not at all. No, I've always loved you.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
不 我只是从未想过我还能更加爱你 但我可以
No, it's just I never thought I could love you more, but I did
因为 你像一个新的升级版Annie
because, you know, you're like a new and improved Annie.
我现在变成了一个
Now that I'm the Annie
一切按照你的想法做事的Annie
who's doing everything the way you want it to be done.
说什么 - 我说 你已经被"灾"穿了
Say what? - Yeah. The gig is up.
灾 是拆
The "Gig"? It's jig.
你还要控制我平翘舌是吗
Oh, so now you're trying to control my hard and soft Gs?
应该是卷舌音
It's a J.
我知道你让Kay给我洗♥脑♥
I know you tried to get Kay to brainwash me.
在你生气之前 听我说
Ohh. Okay, look. Before you get mad...
嘿 你猜怎么的 伙计 你这"操"数我也会玩
Hey, guess what, pal? Two can play at that Jame.
你明明知道是招数 - 是 是招数
You know it's game. - Yeah, It is game.
我们来过过招 我也利用Kay来操控你来着
It's game on, because I used Kay to manipulate you too.
你看看你自己
I mean, take a look at yourself.
你干了什 袖子
What do you... sleeves!
你控制不了我Jake
You don't control me, Jake,
如果我想要塞一冰箱剩饭
and if I want a fridge full of old food...
你要干什么 - 那就塞吧
What are you doing? - So be it.
不 不要 我往里面扔过狗屎
No! Uh, no... I put dog poop in there.
是啊 我们没养狗
Yeah. We don't have a dog.
对啊 根本没养 你想什么呢
Oh, we don't have a dog, Jake. What are you doing?
好了Annie 我们谈谈好吗
Okay, Annie, can we just talk, please?
现在你想跟我当面谈谈
So now you want to talk to my face
而不是让Kay干♥你♥的下流勾当
instead of making Kay do your dirty work?
我跟你面对面谈过 但是你不听
I did talk to you face to face, but you didn't listen!
听清有点难
It's a little hard to listen
当你朝手心打嗝还试图捂住的时候
when you're burping into your fist and catching it.
你也这样
You did that too.
你凭什么让我把袜子卷成球
How dare you make me ball my socks?
它们没有必要一直待在一起
I mean, they don't need to be together all the time!
还它们自♥由♥吧
Let them be free!
飞吧
Fly!
飞翔吧 小小鸟儿
Just fly, little birdies!
卷成球的话 你会扔的更准
You'd have better luck chucking 'em if you balled them.
情人节快乐 Baba Bowie
Happy Valentine's day, Baba Bowie.
是Baba Booey
It's Baba Booey!
Baba Booey
Baba Booey!
情人节快乐
Happy Valentine's Day!
等等 猛♥男♥消防员来的时候
So wait, are hunky firefighters gonna come in here
我的脚趾却卡在水龙头里
and my toe is gonna be stuck in the faucet?
这种事真的能发生吗
Is this even a thing that happens?
当然 我在网上看过
Oh, yeah. I read about it online.
这文章原来登在阁楼论♥坛♥上
The article did turn out to be from a Penthouse forum,
但是老少咸宜
but still, it went pretty well for everyone involved.
好 来吧
Okay. Let's do it.
好的
All right.
你的脚太肥了
Your foot's too fat!
我以前可是足模
I used to be a foot model!
大号♥的
Plus-size.
姑娘 我问个问题
Girl, can I ask you a question?
哦 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
我们是不是有点太死乞白赖了
Is this all a little desperate, what we're doing?
不 这是一场偶遇 来吧
No! It's a meet-cute, come on!
更像是一场遭遇 说实话
It... it feels a little bit like a meet-sad, to be honest.
要不我们就算了吧
Maybe we should just bail.
不 不要 我不想就这么算了
No! No, no, no. I don't want to bail.
只是我从没在情人节落过单
It's just, I've never been alone on Valentine's Day,
所以格外悲伤
and it's got me feeling really sad.
如果 我就此过上了
What if this is, like, the first of a streak
永远一个人过情人节的日子怎么办
of lonely Valentine's Days for me?
首先 你不会的
Okay, first of all, it's not gonna be.
第二 你并不是一个人
Second of all, you're not alone.
你还有我
You're with me.
为什么我们俩不出去
So why don't the two of us go out to dinner
庆祝一个新的节日
and celebrate a new holiday?
友人节
Pal-entine's Day.
来点爆米花吗
Popcorn?
抱歉 我也想吃 但爆米花会让我胳膊长肉
Sorry, I would, but popcorn goes straight to my arms,
全世界人♥民♥就得被迫看到更多的裸胳膊
which the whole world is about to see a hell of a lot more of!
你知道全世界人♥民♥不会看到什么吗
You know what the world is not gonna see more of?
球球 不论是袜子球 还是你身上的球
Balls, either in sock form or me playing with yours form.
你的文字游戏太逊了
Ohh, that cute little wordplay didn't work,
但我"炸"不多懂了
but I got the gist of it.
情人节快乐 小情侣
Happy Valentine's Day, love bugs!
嘿 我们能不能借一下
Hey, can we borrow your copy
Gary Marshall的电影<情人节>
of Gary Marshall's Valentine's Day...
没事儿了 走走走走
Never mind. Go, go, go, go.
坐下
Sit!
然后他说如果我不按他的喜好来
And then he said he didn't love me
他就不爱我了
until I did all these things his way.
反对 我根本没有这样说过
Objection! That's not what I said at all!
我试着跟你好好谈
I tried to talk to you nicely about all of this stuff.
好吧 我们让Kevin们做裁判
Okay. Let's just let the Kevins be the judge.
你们怎么看 Kevin们
What say you, Kevins?
我觉得你们俩都有错
Well, I think you're both wrong.
对 - 什么
Yup. - What?
伙计们 听着 被伴侣批评很难受
Guys, look. It's hard to be critiqued by your partner.
事实就是这样
It just is,
但是我们发明了一种我俩都能接受的方法
but we've developed a technique that works for us.
你必须要学会把你的批评
Yeah. You have to learn how to package your criticism
夹在我们所说的糖衣三明治里面
in what we like to call the compliment sandwich.
以下是面包 你闻着不错 鼠尾草吗
Bread, you smell nice, like sage.
以下是肉 当你在阳台上剪脚趾甲的时候
Meat, when you clip your toenails on the balcony,
我真想给一刀捅了你
it makes me want to stab you in the throat!
面包 你写字真好看
Bread, you've got nice handwriting.
真心的
You do.
再重点强调一下
Bring it right around.
我在阳台上剪脚指甲
I clip my toenails on the balcony
因为你讨厌我在浴室里剪
because you hate toenail clippings in the bathroom.
好吧 - 邻居们能看见你
Okay. - The neighbors can see you.
你都把指甲崩到Hernandez夫人的蛋饼里啦
You even flicked a nail into Mrs. Hernandez's frittata.
我才不管她的蛋饼
I don't care about her frittata.
她说你胖
She called you fat.
我觉得你很苗条
I think you look thin.
面包
Bread.
看到了吗 你们只需要学会做糖衣三明治
See? You guys just need to learn how to do the compliment sandwich.