嫁给我（2014）

喔 刚在和Kevin聊天
Oh, I was just talking to Kevin here,
他应该买♥♥辆摩托车
How he should get a new motorcycle, ri...
怎么了
What?
你是说二轮灵车吗
You mean a two-wheeled hearse?
不 我是说摩托 好吧
No, I mean a motor... oh.
Kevin 你又聊起二轮灵车了吗
Kevin, have you been talking about two-wheeled hearses again?
真对不起啊 Kevin
Oh, I'm sorry, Kevin.
我忘记了
I didn't realize that you were in control of
我说话还得由您老管着
what I can and cannot talk about.
我也不知道你翻脸比翻书还快
I wasn't aware that you could so quickly turn into such a jerk.
那么 你们俩都是哪里 哪里人来着
So, where are you guys from originally... where is that?
这位Kevin来自一个
Well, Kevin grew up in a selfish home
自私成性的家庭
with selfish people who do selfish things.
我来自弗吉尼亚的里士满市
I'm from Richmond, Virginia.
就是个旁边的小市郊而已
More like a suburb outside of!
别 别走呀
Oh, no, don't go.
所以他们说弗吉尼亚是恋爱圣地
So they... you know, they say Virginia is for lovers.
你也要走了
You're gonna go as well.
嗨 宝贝 和我爸处得怎样
Hey, babe. How'd it go with my dads?
喔 可好了
Oh, awesome.
他们呃
They're, uh...
我们的确在深入了解彼此了
We're really getting to to know each other, you know?
从数不胜数的收获中举个例子吧
I mean, here is just one of 100 facts that I've learned.
Kevin来自弗吉尼亚的里士满市
Kevin is from Richmond, Virginia.
就是个旁边的小市郊啦
Well, a suburb outside of,
不过也算大进步了
but that's progress.
我太开心了
I'm so happy.
插播一条娱乐新闻 我和Gil正在写一首新歌♥
And in entertainment news, Gil and I are writing a song later,
我正在学习"缤纷德国佬"
So I'm just learning all about Splenderklauts.
我没想问 也没听懂答案
Did not ask. Do not understand the answer.
天啊 你正在逐渐了解
Gosh, you are getting to know
我生命中最重要的两个男人
The two most important men in my life,
而我也在逐渐了解你生命中最重要的男人
And I am getting to know the most important man in your life.
重要程度仅次于T先生
Second only to Mr. T.
我还是很可怜那个傻瓜
I still pity the fool.
你好
Hello.
嗨 好的
Hey, yeah.
是我爸
It's my dad.
他想和你聊聊
And he wants to talk to you.
哇 一顿饭的功夫
Wow, one brunch
你们就开始煲电♥话♥粥了吗
and you're already getting phone calls?
酸掉牙咯
Get a room.
嗨 不要眼红哟
Hey, don't be jelly.
小Kevin
Kev-Kev.
你太过分了 Jake
I cannot believe you, Jake.
这么不负责的事你也干得出来
How can you be so irresponsible?
就是因为你
Because of you,
Kevin一直絮叨着要买♥♥辆二轮灵车
Kevin will not shut up about getting a two-wheeled hearse.
你说啥
Uh, what's that?
喔 你想给Annie送个小礼物吗
Oh, you want to get a gift for Annie?
好嘞 我当然乐意和你里应外合
Yeah, I'd gladly be in cahoots with you.
让我另找一个房♥间细说
Just let me go in the other room.
你知道我们以前都是怎么称呼
Do you know what we used to call those in the emergency room
我的第一家文具店旁边急救室里的车吗
which was right next door to my first stationery store?
那如果一定要猜的话
Well, if I had to take a guess,
我觉得是二轮 - 送命摩托
I would say "Two-wheeled..." - Donorcycles.
你懂了吗
You get it?
我懂了 - 你懂了吗 Jake
I do get it. - Do you get it, Jake?
因为他们都死了 - Kevin 很抱歉
Because they all died. - Okay, Kevin, I'm so sorry.
我懂你的意思了
I see your point,
我会和Kevin谈的
and I will talk to Kevin.
我保证 我很抱歉
I promise. I'm sorry.
那可真是太好了
That would be great.
有那么一会儿
For a minute there,
我觉得自己不认得你了
I felt like I didn't know who you were.
现在我知道了 你是Jake
And now I do. You're Jake.
喔 那可真是太
Oh, that's...
太好了吗
Good, right?
不不不不 - 那么
No, no, no, no. - And...
好吧 这个怎样
Okay, what about something like...
*弗兰芒的缤纷德国佬*
*Flemish splenderkraut*
*你是那样的亲切*
*You make me feel all vriendelijk*
*亲切 亲切 切 切*
*Vriendelijk, vriendel-lee, lee, lee*
不行 天哪不行
No! God, no!
根本就是垃圾
That is just garbage.
我要崩溃了
I'm so frustrated!
我们的周六竟然就是这样
I can't believe this is our Saturday.
这就是我们不做好计划的下场
This is what happens when we don't make a plan.
我们在看什么
what are we watching?
喔 那是个弗兰芒人常做的运动
Oh, it's a popular Flemish sport.
简单地说 就是"圆木足球"
Loosely translated, it's called log soccer.
基本上就是在扔树
You basically just throw trees.
他们以前扔的是犹太人 但是 你懂得
They used to throw Jews, but... You know.
好了 来吧 来吧 来吧
Okay, come on, come on, come on.
来吧 还有什么跟弗兰芒有关的点子
Come on, what else? What else Flemish?
呃 好吧 这还有一个
Uh, uh, uh, okay, all right, well,
我们的巧克力闻名于世 - 好的
We are famous for our chocolate. - Okay.
还有土豆条 - 是的
And our frites. - Yes.
那我们是不是可以试一试
So what if we did something like...
*土豆条 巧克力*
*Frites and chocolate*
*香香的土豆条 脆脆的巧克力*
*Frites, frites and chocolate chocolate*
*零食加糖霜*
*treats and frosting...*
停 算了 这也太糟糕了
Stop! Pass, that is horrible.
好吧 我觉得这个也值得一试
Okay, I was thinking something more like...
*Jimmy捣碎了玉米 关我豆事*
*Jimmy cracked corn and I don't Carr-bean*
又不是非要和弗兰芒扯上关系
I mean, does it have to be about the Flemish region?
当然了 这才是重点好吗
Yes. That's the whole point.
我就知道 和朋友一起共事就没好事
I knew it. Working with friends never ends well.
就像Lennon和McCartney那样
Look at Lennon and McCartney.
我同意 Sean和Stella
Ugh, I know. Sean and Stella
也不该合作出品那款运动饮料
Never should have collaborated on that sports drink.
也许真正的问题是
Maybe the real problem here is
你根本没有"那啥"
you don't have "It."
我当然有"那啥"
Oh, I have it!
你可没有
No, you don't.
还以为你有呢
Thought you did,
但你八成是从我这儿剽窃去的
but you were probably just getting a contact "It" off of me!
Jimmy捣碎了玉米 关我屁事
Well, Jimmy cracked corn, and I don't care!
等等 这奇妙的感觉
Wait, is that something?
我刚才好像创作了一首歌♥
I feel like I just wrote a song.
没 姑娘 你可没有
No, girl, you didn't.
嗨 Kev 好哥们
Hey, Kev, my man.
我过来和你一起玩耍了
I just came by to hang,
但是你不在家
But you weren't here,
那我就往你的信箱里放几篇
So I dropped off some alarming literature
骑摩托车会断头的文章
On motorcycle decapitations in your mailbox.
哦 不
Oh, no.
Kevin 你已经把车买♥♥了啊
Kevin, you gone done and did it.
我是一匹狼
I'm a wolf!
看看我这新的小摩托车
Check out my sweet new motorcycle.
摩托车 这其实是个踏
Motorcycle? That's a ve...
特立独行的摩托车
Very special motorcycle.
多亏了你 Jake
I owe it all to you, Jake.
咱们今早的谈话
That talk we had this morning
真的让我重振雄风了
Really made me feel like a man again.
话说 我能把这个藏你家吗
Say, can I hide this at your place?
这要让Kevin看见 我就死定了
'Cause Kevin will kill me if he found it.
我的老天爷 你居然真的去买♥♥了
Oh, my sweet lord, you actually went and did it?
你买♥♥了台摩托车吗
You bought a motorcycle?
你也觉得这是摩托车吗
Motorcycle? You too?