爱你，维克托

Sorry. Uh...
只是你跟我想象中的不太一样
You're, you're just different from how I pictured.
-什么意思 -就比如...
- What do you mean? - No, I just... Like the
你说话的语气
The way you talk.
还有你的样子
And like, the way you... are.
不好意思
Sorry, I
我更喜欢阳刚一点的男生
I tend to go for guys who are a bit more masculine?
无意冒犯
No offense.
我比较好这口
Yeah. It's just my preference.
没事 你不喜欢就是不喜欢
Yeah. No, if you're not into it, you're not into it.
我反倒希望他把我斩首了
I kind of wish he'd decapitated me instead.
我好丢脸啊
I'm so embarrassed.
而且居然还被你看到了
I can't believe you just saw that.
不 该丢脸的是他 真是个混球
No, he should be embarrassed. What a dick.
不 我能理解 如果他喜欢阳刚一点的
No. I, I get it. If he's into "Masc" guys or whatever,
那永远也不可能是我
I'm never gonna be that.
我可是穿淡紫色绒夹克的人
I'm wearing lavender suede.
好吧 首先那夹克帅爆了 你知道的
Okay, first off, that jacket is fire, and you know it.
其次 不要让
And secondly, don't let
一个傻小子毁掉你的特质
one stupid boy ruin what's great about you.
可不止他一个人这么说
Except it's not just one stupid boy.
有很多人
You know, a lot of people
都觉得我是个搞笑 基味十足的瘦竹竿
see me as just this funny, fruity beanpole,
-再没别的了 -好吧 简直是胡说八道
- and nothing else. - All right, that's bullshit.
你高挑 聪明 超级帅气
You're tall, you're smart, you're super handsome
超级帅气
Super handsome?
别闹 我意思是客观来说
Stop. I'm just saying that objectively,
你确实是个大帅哥
you're a very good looking guy.
好吧好吧 这才是我想听的话
Okay. Okay, this is the content I signed up for.
你能开个专门夸我的付费订阅账号♥吗
Can you start an OnlyFans where it's just you complimenting me?
用能让人颅内高♥潮♥的性感低语说
Maybe in an ASMR whisper voice?
我是说真的
I'm trying to tell you something.
你很抢手 拉希姆
You're a catch, Rahim.
如果我们去同志酒吧 你肯定会迷倒全场
if we went to a gay bar, you would totally clean up.
你去同志酒吧肯定也会迷倒全场
Well. I'm pretty sure you would clean up at a gay bar, too.
前提是你单身 但你不是
If you were single. Which you're not.
因为你跟本吉一定会和好的
Because things are gonna work out between you and Benji.
可能会 也可能不会
Maybe. Or maybe not.
是我妈
It's just my mom.
抱歉
Oh. Sorry.
话说回来 我们为什么不去同志酒吧呢
You know what? Why don't we go to a gay bar?
真的吗 可我没有身份证
Really? I don't have, like, an ID or anything.
那有什么 我在纽约就去过一家 根本没人查
So? I went to one in New York, and they never even checked.
好吧 我们没问题 自信点就行
Okay, we can do this. Just act confident,
让自己显得成熟一点
and try to make yourself look older,
就是一副被生活摧残的样子
like, like, beaten down by life.
好
Right.
-这肯定不行 -天哪 我们绝对进不去了
- No. It's not gonna work. - God, we're never gonna get in.
管他的 走吧
Screw it. Come on.
就今天早上你还不愿意逃学呢
Remember this morning, when you wouldn't even skip school?
那还不是被你带坏的
Well, I guess you're a bad influence.
不好意思 这太棒了
Sorry. This is amazing.
你一直盯着看的话 得付他小费
I think if you keep staring, you gotta tip him.
不...我是说这里的一切
No, I, I mean... all of this.
所有人都
Everyone's...
这是我人生中第一次觉得...
This is the first time in my life where I feel like...
我懂
I know.
给他一块钱吧
Just give him a dollar.
走吧
Keep it going.
你真是假话一堆
You are so full of shit!
你居然觉得有智慧的男人最性感
Your number one hottest thing about a guy is his brain?
是啊 如果有个男的跟我搭讪说"你很帅"
Yes! Like if a guy hits me up and he says, "You're handsome,"
但却打成了"你的帅"
but spells it Your.
立马拉黑
Immediate block.
好吧 第一是要有智慧
Okay, so number one is smart.
-大骗子 然后呢 -然后
- You big liar. Then what? - Then...
有迷人的微笑
A great smile.
对称的眉毛
Symmetrical eyebrows.
做运动练出来的小翘臀也是不错的啦
I wouldn't be mad at a cute hockey butt.
这么说你喜欢运动员
So, you're into athletes.
喜欢他们的身材
Their bodies, yes.
至于性格就没那么喜欢了
Their personalities, not so much.
你呢 你喜欢什么类型的
What about you? What's your type?
本吉那种
Uh, Benji?
你喜欢的类型是本吉
Your type is Benji?
他是和我接吻的第一个男生
Well, he was the first guy that I ever kissed,
和我约会的第一个男生
the first guy that I ever dated...
遇到他之后我才确定自己是同性恋
I, I wasn't even sure I was gay until I met him.
但在那之前我有老是梦到
I mean, did I have a recurring dream
我和断眉查理·普斯被困在同个牢房♥吗 当然
where Charlie Puth and I were trapped in a jail cell? Sure.
我也做过这种梦
Been there, dreamed that.
但本吉是我在现实生活中
But Benji was the only real life guy
唯一一个想要主动追求的男生
that I ever considered going for.
然后你就主动去了
Then you went for it.
他也回应了你
And he went for you back.
我们很多人都没这种体会
That's more than a lot of us can say.
听着 黄铜城的那个家伙就是个大傻叉
Listen, that guy at Brasstown was a total asshole.
他是没错 但...
Yes, he was, but...
我的意思是
What I meant was...
我从没有过你和本吉的那些经历
I've never had what you and Benji have.
我也从没和男生接过吻
I've never even kissed a guy before.
你会有的
You will.
K歌♥时间到
Hey, it's karaoke time!
今晚的第一对是维克托和拉希姆
The first one of the night is Victor and Rahim!
你干什么了
What did you do?
对不起 我装的 来吧
Sorry, not sorry. Come on.
Holy - Justin Bieber
*我常听说罪人的种种*
*I hear a lot about sinners*
*别以为我会成为圣人*
*Don't think that I'll be a saint*
*但我可能会下到河里*
*But I might go down to the river*
*因为在我们触碰的那一刻 天就开了*
*'Cause the way that the sky opens up when we touch*
-*让我不禁感叹* -好吧
- *Yeah, it's makin' me say* - Okay...
*你抱我 抱我 抱我的方式*
*That the way you hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me*
*是那么 那么 那么地神圣*
*Feels so holy, holy, holy, holy, holy*
*上帝啊 如短跑明星奔向圣坛*
*On God, Runnin' to the altar like a track star*
*再多一秒都不愿等待*
*Can't wait another second*
*因为你抱我 抱我 抱我的方式*
*'Cause the way you hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me*
*是那么地神圣*
*Feels so holy*
*他们说我们太年轻稚嫩*
*They say we're too young and*
*皮条客和玩咖说 别太动情*
*The pimps and the players say, "Don't go crushin'"*
*智者说 傻子才会一见倾心*
*Wise men say, "Fools rush in"*
*但我却不清楚*
*But I don't know*
*他们说我们太年轻稚嫩*
*They say we're too young and*
*皮条客和玩咖说 别太动情*
*The pimps and the players say, "Don't go crushin'"*
*智者说 傻子才会一见倾心*
*Wise men say, "Fools rush in"*
*但我却不清楚*
*But I don't know*
*你抱我 抱我 抱我的方式*
*The way you hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me*
*是那么 那么 那么地神圣*
*Feels so holy, holy, holy, holy, holy*
*上帝啊 如短跑明星奔向圣坛*
*On God, Runnin' to the altar like a track star*
*再多一秒都不愿等待*
*Can't wait another second*
*上帝啊 如短跑明星奔向圣坛*
*On God, Runnin' to the altar like a track star*
*再多一秒都不愿等待*
*Can't wait another second*
*上帝啊 如短跑明星奔向圣坛*
*On God, Runnin' to the altar like a track star*
*再多一秒都不愿等待*
*Can't wait another second*
*因为你抱我 抱我 抱我的方式*
*'Cause the way you hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me*
*是那么地神圣*
*Feels so holy*
维克托·萨拉扎
Victor Salazar!
糟了
Oh, shit...
我们非常抱歉 萨拉扎太太
We are so sorry, Mrs. Salazar.
但我想说 朱红色太适合你了
But can I just say, vermilion is totally your color.
你是怎么找到我们的
How did you even find us?