爱你，维克托

Look, I gotta get a little face time with the donor committee.
等我完事了 就任你差遣 好吗
Now, as soon as I'm done, I'm all yours, all right?
我大概两三分钟后过来
I'll be back in two, maybe three minutes.
别评判我
Don't judge.
我没买♥♥食堂套餐 所以这就是我的晚饭
I'm not on the meal plan, so this is my dinner.
身为饥饿艺术家之类的
Starving artist and everything.
你是艺术家
You're an artist?
我也是
Me, too.
泰勒
Tyler.
米娅
Mia.
你大几的
What year are you?
一年级的
Um, freshman.
-大学一年级 -我也是
- College freshman. ‐ Same.
你怎么来植物学系的派对了
So, what brings you to this rager for the botany department?
-原来是他们办的啊 -嗯
‐ Oh, is that what this is? ‐ Yeah.
我是看到有吃的和免费酒水
I literally just saw food and an open bar,
就径直走过来了
and like, walked right in.
维克托
我们能聊聊今天的事吗
你想离开这里吗
Do you want to get out of here?
我不是赶你走啦
Or‐‐ I mean, not like that.
就是我们去找点乐子
I mean just, like, go do something fun?
我真的很需要找点乐子
I could really use a little fun.
好
Sure.
我有两个室友在院子里喝红酒配芝士
A couple of my roommates are having wine and cheese on the quad.
听起来很不错
That sounds perfect.
这是自带红酒
It's BYO wine.
你在做什么
Hey. Whatcha doing?
做功课 不该在灯光昏暗的地方做
Homework. Which you shouldn't do in the dark.
会使眼睛疲劳 导致偏头痛
Strains the eyes. Causes migraines.
好吧 老头子
Okay, boomer.
老头子 我只比你大十个月好吗
Boomer? I am ten months older than you.
但你的做派很老头子
Yeah, but you're such a grandpa.
你羊毛开衫口袋里说不定
You probably have a Werther's Original
还装了包太妃糖
in the pocket of your cardigan.
我倒是想
I wish.
有时候我会来这里
You know, sometimes I come out here
避开我家那些烦心事
to escape the badness of my apartment.
我爸妈分居
My parents' separation,
我妈和维克托之间的气氛很尴尬
and how weird my mom is being with Victor.
你在逃避什么
So, what are you escaping?
妈妈的事 钱的事
Mom stuff. Money stuff.
嗯 我其实偷听到了你和房♥东的对话
Yeah, I kind of eavesdropped on you with the landlord.
我们基本上身无分文了
We're basically broke.
我妈的躁郁症长♥期♥反复发作
My mom always goes through these episodes
不是抑郁就是狂躁
where she's either depressed or manic.
通常她一两周后就会恢复
She usually bounces back after a week or two.
但这次 她没再去上班
But this time, um, she stopped going to work.
结果丢了工作
And lost her job.
总之
Anyway, um...
我房♥租还差两百块
I'm two hundred dollars short on rent.
她不肯起床
And she won't get out of bed.
我不知道该怎么办
I don't know what to do.
两百 对吗
Two hundred, right?
我去 皮拉 你哪来那么多钱
Holy shit. Pilar, how did you get that?
我暑假在商场打工卖♥♥椒盐脆饼赚来的
It's from my summer job selling mall pretzels.
只要对老男人微笑和眨眼睛放电
You get a lot of tips when you smile
就能收到很多小费
and bat your eyes at old men.
可能变♥态♥都喜欢吃椒盐脆饼吧
I guess pervs love pretzels.
我...我不能拿你的钱
I, I, I can't‐‐ I can't take your money.
别傻了
Don't be stupid.
我和朋友们本来想存钱去看碧梨的演唱会
Me and my friends were saving up to see Billie Eilish,
但反正现在票也售罄了
but it's sold out now, anyway, so...
你要还给我的
You'll pay me back.
皮拉
Pilar, um...
我真不敢相信
I can't believe this.
你一直是我哥哥的好朋友
You've been a good friend to my brother.
如果你因为付不起房♥租 被迫搬出去
And if you can't pay rent, and had to move out,
他会很想你的
he'd really miss you.
只有维克托会想我 对吧
And Victor would be the only one who'd miss me.
别把气氛搞尴尬
Don't make it weird.
你们交往这段期间
So, the whole time you were together,
-你都不知道他是弯的吗 -对
- you had no idea he was gay? ‐ None.
太疯狂了 我明明常看Bravo台的真人秀
Which is crazy, because I watch so much Bravo.
天啊
Oh, my God.
我不知道我为什么不停地说自己的尴尬生活
Uh, I don't know why I'm going on about my embarrassing life.
可能因为你们都是陌生人吧
Mmm, it's probably because you guys are strangers.
我至少交往过两个弯的男朋友
Oh! I have had at least two gay boyfriends.
还不确定史蒂夫是不是
And the jury's still out on Steve.
弯男比直男更好看 更会聆听
Gay guys are better looking. They're better listeners.
所有方面都比直男好
They're just better at everything.
并不是所有方面
Well, not everything.
行吧
Okay.
维克托
米娅 你在吗
我很需要这样发泄一下 谢谢你们
Ah... I, I really needed this. So thank you guys.
你要走了 哪栋宿舍 我送你回去
You headed out? Which dorm? I'll, I'll walk you.
不用 你待着吧
No, no, no. You stay.
我住在校外
Um, I live off campus.
不过
But...
这是我的手♥机♥号♥码
Here's... here's my number.
我想再和你见面
Um, I want to see you again.
我很乐意
I'd love that.
你今天没能出柜就是因为这个吗
So that's why you couldn't come out today?
被你妈妈影响了
Your mom got in your head?
维克 你大可以直接告诉我
Vic, you could've just told me.
在乎自己妈妈的想法很丢脸
It's just embarrassing to care about what your mom thinks.
你很幸运你♥爸♥妈对这事无所谓
You're lucky that your parents are so cool with it.
现在是这样而已
Yeah, now they are.
-我爸当初也花了点时间 -真的吗
- It took my dad a minute. - Really?
-什么意思 -这个嘛
- What do you mean? - Well...
我出柜一个月后
A month after I came out,
我爸说想和我出去吃午餐
my dad said he wanted to have lunch.
但当我们在餐厅门口停车时
But as we're parking in the restaurant,
我才意识到那里根本不是餐厅
I realize it's not a restaurant at all.
-而是脱衣舞俱乐部 -什么
- It's a strip club. ‐ What?
我知道 然后我们进去
I know. So, we go in,
他满头大汗 满脸通红
and he's sweating and beet red,
想装出一副我们一起做这件事
just trying to act like this is a totally normal thing
非常正常的样子
for us to be doing together.
他跟我说 "你是同性恋也没关系
He tells me, "It's cool if you're gay,
但你怎么能如此确定"
but how can you be so sure?"
接着他招来一个脱衣舞♥女♥ 给我跳大腿舞
And he waves over a stripper to give me a lap dance.
-不会吧 -真的
‐ No! ‐ Swear to God.
她叫嘉库茜[按♥摩♥浴缸]Her name was Jacuzzi.
总之 场内开始放小野猫组合的歌♥
Anyway, some Pussycat Dolls song comes on,
嘉库茜把她涂满闪粉的双峰怼到我脸上
and Jacuzzi puts her glittery boobs right in my face.
你有什么反应
So, so what did you do?
我叫停了
I shut it down.
给了嘉库茜一大笔小费
Gave Jacuzzi a nice tip,
告诉她我是同志 然后大步流星走了出去
told her I was gay, and marched out.
开车回家的路上
On the ride back,
我告诉我爸
I told my dad
没有任何东西能改变真正的我
nothing was ever gonna change who I was.
怎么了
What?
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
我没有你这么勇敢
For not being as brave as you are.
我保证我会努力 请不要放弃我
I promise I'm trying. Just... just please don't give up on me.
维克托
Victor.
我觉得我无法放弃你
I don't think I could give up on you,
就算我想也做不到
even if I wanted to.
等你准备好了我们再在学校公开 好吗
We'll tell the school when you're ready, okay?
如果我想牵你的手
And, and if I wanna hold your hand,