爱情生活

Love Life S01E01

Part 3 May 29, 2020, 1:33 p.m.

- Fuckin' heels. - Okay.
我们从这开始
We're gonna start over here.
这个超级可爱的肌肉黄铜屁♥股♥
This super cute muscular bronze butt.
这个希腊黄铜屁♥股♥十分稀有
This Greek bronze butt is very rare
因为当罗马人接管希腊人的统治时
because when Romans took over Greek dominions,
他们知道黄铜有多值钱
they knew how valuable the bronze was
也就是这些雕塑的材料所以他们经常
the sculptures were made of, so they often
把它们熔掉来做盔甲和武器
melted them down to make armor and weapons,
我们很幸运这尊雕像被保存下来
and we're very fortunate that this sculpture's been preserved
所以我们能欣赏到它那...
so we can all enjoy its very...
具有感情张力而紧实的屁♥股♥
emotional, expressive clenched butt.
看着好像斯宾塞的鸡♥巴♥
It looks like Spencer's dick.
好了别这样
Okay, guys, please.
别摸雕塑
Don't touch the statues.
这是明文禁止的行为
This is--this is really against the rules.
当达比看着这个女人
As Darby watched this woman
爬上这尊已经存活千年的雕塑时
climb a statue that had managed to survive centuries,
她忍♥不住突发奇想早已有人选中了他
she couldn't help but marvel that someone chose this person.
而且不是一天
And not just for a day,
而是她的一生
but for the rest of her life.
达比连一句问候都得不到
Darby couldn't even get a "Wazzup?"
第五天
她的生活继续着
Around her, life continued
好像有什么事比她正在经历的
as if somehow there was anything more important
更重要一样
than what she was going through.
到这个时候她已经成功把室友拖下水
By this point, she'd managed to pull her flat mates into it
她继续着女生们苦守电♥话♥的
as she carried on in the grand tradition
伟大传统
of women waiting by the phone.
-是你♥爸♥ -好吧
- It's your dad. - Good.
他想知道
Uh, he wants to know
"《迷墙》那首歌♥是谁唱的"
"Who sings the song... 'Wonderwall'..."
很遗憾不是奥吉
I'm sorry it wasn't Augie.
没关系
It's okay.
是我爸
You know, it was my dad.
至少不是我的健身房♥追问我去哪了
At least it wasn't my gym asking where I've been.
天啊我在发什么疯
Oh, my God. Why am I spinning out?
这破事闹心透了
All this sucks.
为什么你不主动出击给他发短♥信♥
Why don't you just take the reins and text him?
-我能那样做吗 -不你不能
- Can I do that? - No, you can't.
听着我知道这很糟
Look, I know it's fucked up,
-但你得等他主动勾搭你 -你确定...
- but you have to wait for him to hit you up. - Are you s--
我不想卷入什么政♥治♥辩论
I don't want to get into a political debate about it.
但现在行情就这样
It's just the world right now.
你也好意思说你还让吉姆
Says the girl who made Jim
大声给你朗读高中时的日记呢
read his high school diary out loud to you
搞得好像一点界限没有
like there are zero boundaries.
-听着 -界限一点没有
- Look-- - Boundaries don't exist.
对因为我自食其力
Yeah, 'cause I paid my dues.
听着你可以以后慢慢使那些歪门邪道
Look, you can play the crazy card down the road,
但现在你得沉住气
but right now, you gotta, like, bear down.
不不不
No, no, no. No, no.
那招数早就过时了
That shit's so antiquated.
听着你现在为什么需要男朋友呢
Listen, why do you need a boyfriend right now?
看看你纠结的这个样
Honestly, look what it's doing to you.
这不是简·奥斯汀那个年代了不好意思
This isn't Jane Austen times. I'm sorry.
我觉得我只是压力很大因为
I think I'm just stressed because, like,
我告诉我老板我会带男伴去他的婚礼
I told my boss that I was bringing a plus-one to his wedding,
现在我觉得如果不带人去的话
and now I think it would be super embarrassing
那样会很尴尬
to just, like, not bring anyone.
我知道你在想什么你这个疯丫头
I know what you're thinking, you little 0 to 60 freak.
哪怕只是让他帮个忙呢
Even as a favor.
我可以说 "为朋友两肋插刀吧"
I could just be like, "Hey, as a friend, as a buddy--"
你不能请奥吉和你去那场婚礼是吧
You cannot invite Augie to that wedding, right?
我天
Oh, my God.
我被他迷住了太可悲了
I'm obsessed with him, and it's so pathetic.
我就
I'll just--
不可能
No way!
好吧
Fine.
-我要沉着冷静 -没错
- I'm gonna be totally chill. - Totally.
我要沉着冷静
I'm gonna be totally chill.
我其实没怎么读过简·奥斯汀的书
Haven't actually read any Jane Austen.
-什么 -我知道这很...
- What? - I know, which was surp--
这是我的底线我做不到
Deal-breaker. I can't do this.
-你也这样 -我开玩笑呢
- Oh, you too? - I'm kidding.
-好 -开玩笑而已
- Okay. - Kidding.
因为玛洛莉...
'Cause Mallory...
取笑我因为我不
Was making fun of me, 'cause I don't--
其实这里有一本我一直在找的书
Actually, there is one of these books that I've been looking for.
我们为什么不买♥♥十本爱情小说呢
Why wouldn't we get ten romance novels?
所以如果我必须得告诉你件事...
Okay, so if I had to tell you something...
-好 -你意想不到的关于我的事
- Yeah. - Unexpected about me,
好我给你一千美元
Yeah. I'll give you $1,000.
什么你完全猜不到它是什么
Wh--that you wouldn't have guessed this was--
不我给你一千美元你告诉我一件
No, I'll give you $1,000 to tell me something
-我意料之外的事 -我本打算免费告诉你的
- that really shocks me. - Oh. I was just gonna tell you for free.
我本打算免费告诉你的
I was just gonna tell you for free.
我其实特别喜欢音乐剧
I was actually so into musical theater
我妈还以为我是同性恋呢
that my mom thought that I was gay.
她问我看没看过《米尔克》那部电影
She asked me if I had seen the movie "Milk,"
基于美国同性恋运动人士哈维·米尔克的真实故事改编
因为她租了这盘碟
because she had rented it.
她觉得我们很有必要
And she thought it was really important
一起看看这部电影
that we watch it together.
这可真贴心
That's so sweet.
-嗯 -真不错 -嗯
- Yeah. - That's nice. - Yeah.
听我说
You know,
我也参加过音乐剧的演出
I, too, have done some musical theater.
-不可能 -真的在中学的时候
- Get the fuck out. - Yeah, in high school.
有一次...
One time...
-演的是《猫》 -你演过《猫》 -嗯
- In "Cats". I know. - You were in "Cats"? - Yeah.
什么
What?
太多小孩想演
Like, there were so many kids,
可角色不够...
and there weren't enough parts...
-对对对 -所以他们就
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So they, like,
凭空添了一只猫的角色
did that thing where they made up a cat.
-但这是为了你才加的 -对
- Just--but just for you, though. - Yeah.
挺扯淡的
It was something insane.
叫卡布凯蒂之类的
It was like Carbucketty or something.
-卡布凯蒂 -老天那可太尴尬了
- Carbucketty? - Oh, my God. It was so embarrassing.
我你在音乐剧里演猫让我有点性致勃勃
I--is it weird that I'm kind of turned on
这会不会很奇怪
by you being an ensemble cat?
你可真是个混♥蛋♥
You're such a jerk.
说来很蠢你
This is stupid. Do--
你愿不愿意和我一起去我老板的婚礼
Do you want to go to my boss's wedding with me?
什么你不必勉强
What? You don't have to.
不我想我想去
No, yes, I do! I do want to go!
我想去
I do want to go.
-肯定要去 -太好了
- Yes, absolutely. - Great.
婚礼哪天举♥行♥
When is it?
-我不知道 -好真棒
- I don't know. - Okay, great.
成败全看林书豪这一投
Lin for the win!
林疯狂万岁
Linsanity forever!
他可真棒
He's on fire!
小达你现在喜欢体育了吗那是
Oh, Darbs, are you into sports now? Is that--
我不知道我想说话听起来酷一点
I don't know. I'm trying to sound cool.
你听起来确实挺酷的
You do sound cool.
-谢谢你 -你是在拉客
- Thank you. - You're hustlin'.
-我不知道 -这就挺好 -好
- I don't know. - I'll take it. - Yes.
这孩子简直就是天降神兵
This kid came out of fucking nowhere.
可不是嘛
I--tell me about it.
-妈的 -我知道
- Shit. - I know.
一月他们在卡拉OK相遇