烂人劳德缪克（2017）

Loudermilk S02E06

Part 5 Aug. 16, 2023, 3:06 p.m.

MAN: [ON TV]
The Wonder-Chopper,
a blade so sharp,
男人：[在电视上]奇迹砍刀，刀片如此锋利，
you'll wonder
what it can't cut.
你会想知道它不能切割什么。
Garlic, tomatoes,
carrots, potatoes.
If you eat it, the...
大蒜、西红柿、胡萝卜、土豆。如果你吃了它，那...
How do you guys
watch this crap?
你们怎么看这种垃圾？
It's a commercial.
这是一个广♥告♥。
You don't even know
what the fuck we're watching.
你根本不知道我们他妈在看什么。
I don't have to.
It's TV. It all sucks.
我不需要。这是电视。这一切都很糟糕。
Oh, does it?
How about Survivor?
哦，是吗？幸存者怎么样？
And Buddy 'n' Andy.
And why aren't you dressed?
还有巴迪和安迪。还有你为什么没穿衣服？
What are you talking about?
You're wearing sweatpants.
你在说什么？你穿着运动裤。
I didn't realize
we had a dress code.
我没有意识到我们有着装要求。
No, it's Thursday.
不，今天是星期四。
Yeah.
是的。
Holy shit.
You promised suicide guy
天哪。你答应自杀的人
you'd take him to dinner
and a movie tonight.
今晚你会带他去吃饭和看电影。
So?
It's a guy on a ledge.
所以？这是一个站在壁架上的家伙。
You say
whatever you have to.
It's not binding.
你说什么都行。它没有约束力。
Yes, it is.
是的。
Besides,
he sounded really nice.
此外，他听起来真的很好听。
When did you talk to him?
你什么时候和他说话的？
When Ben called him to confirm
your plans for tonight.
当本打电♥话♥给他确认你今晚的计划时。
How do you even
have his number?
你怎么知道他的电♥话♥号♥码？
We exchanged numbers,
dude.
我们交换了号♥码，伙计。
That's what you do
after a suicide attempt.
Fuck, man.
这就是你在企图自杀后所做的事情。他妈的，伙计。
All right, so you go
hang out with him.
好吧，那你就跟他出去玩吧。
No, no. Suicide guy
is your friend, not mine.
不，不。自杀者是你的朋友，不是我的。
You're the one who's got him
on speed dial.
你是让他进入快速拨号♥的人。
Hey, look, the guy
might be a psycho.
嘿，听着，这家伙可能是个神经病。
I don't want to hang out
with him alone.
我不想和他单独出去玩。
Okay.
All right, fine.
好的。好吧，好吧。
You know what?
I'll go with ya.
你知道吗？我和你一起去。
How's that?
怎么样？
This is
a nice restaurant.
这是一家不错的餐厅。
Thank you.
Yeah, no worries.
谢谢。是的，不用担心。
So who did you vote for?
Pardon?
那么你投票给了谁呢？赦免？
You a Trumpy, like me?
I love that guy.
你和我一样是特朗普吗？我爱那个人。
He sure does what he says
he's gonna do, huh?
他肯定会说到做到，对吧？
I...guess.
我猜。
I wish he'd build a wall
at the Canadian border.
我希望他能在加拿大边境建一堵墙。
Many Canadians are rapists,
too, you know.
你知道，许多加拿大人也是强♥奸♥犯。
You're joking, right?
你在开玩笑吧？
Oh, no, that's how
I really feel.
哦，不，这就是我的真实感受。
I find Canadians to be
really, really sleazy.
我发现加拿大人真的非常非常邋遢。
Um, hey, what's... What's
your view on arming teachers?
嗯，嘿，什么...你对武装老师有什么看法？
Idiotic.
白♥痴♥。
Oh, idiotic, huh?
哦，白♥痴♥，是吧？
Sure, sure.
Bury your head in the sand.
一定一定。把头埋进沙子里。
Um...
Oh, hey, what do you think
嗯...哦，嘿，你觉得怎么样
about this
climate change bullshit?
关于气候变化的废话？
Why are you
asking me this?
你为什么问我这个？
That's how you
get to know a person,
by asking them questions.
这就是你通过问一个人问题来了解一个人的方式。
And why did you insist
on this table?
你为什么坚持要这张桌子？
In a few seconds,
we're gonna be able to
smell what he ordered.
几秒钟后，我们就能闻到他点的东西的味道了。
I'm doing really lousy
on this date, aren't I?
这次约会我表现得很糟糕，不是吗？
Well, you know,
I totally understand
嗯，你知道，我完全理解
if you never wanted
to see me again.
如果你再也不想见到我。
Is it just me,
or do you find
that gay people
是只有我一个人这样吗，还是你发现同性恋者
are getting more
and more uppity?
是不是越来越嚣张了？
If you want to end this date,
just say the word.
如果你想结束这次约会，只要说出来就可以了。
You don't have to go through
this stupid charade.
你不必经历这种愚蠢的猜谜游戏。
It's not a charade.
You think I'm an idiot?
这不是一个谜语。你认为我是个白♥痴♥？
I'm totally fine
with leaving.
我完全同意离开。
I could be home right now,
snuggling with my cat,
我现在就可以回家，和我的猫依偎在一起，
watching the Penguins game.
观看企鹅队的比赛。
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You like
the Pittsburgh Penguins?
哇，哇，哇。你喜欢匹兹堡企鹅队吗？
Love 'em.
Oh, my God,
they're my team, too.
爱他们。哦，天哪，他们也是我的团队。
Good for you.
No, I...
You don't understand.
对你有好处。不，我……你不明白。
I'm obsessed with them.
Of course you are.
我对他们很着迷。当然是。
Everyone jumped on
the bandwagon once
they started winning again.
一旦他们再次开始获胜，每个人都会加入这股潮流。
I was born in Pittsburgh.
I'm a true fan.
我出生在匹兹堡。我是一个真正的粉丝。
So am I.
我也是。
I've liked them since they
were absolutely terrible.
我很喜欢它们，因为它们实在太糟糕了。
Their logo and name
was so ridiculous,
他们的标志和名字太可笑了
and I like any team
rooted in tragedy.
我喜欢任何扎根于悲剧的球队。
What do you mean?
你是什么意思？
Oh, you know, their first
great player, Michel Briere.
哦，你知道，他们的第一位伟大球员米歇尔·布里埃尔。
He had an awesome
rookie year,
他度过了一个出色的新秀年，
and then he got killed
in a car crash right
after the season.
然后他在赛季结束后就在一场车祸中丧生。
He even scored a playoff
overtime goal that year.
那年他甚至在季后赛加时赛中攻入一球。
Oh, wow.
哦，哇。
Please, please,
please sit back down.
拜托，拜托，请坐回去。
♪♪
♪♪
Sorry, amigo.
Too late.
对不起，朋友。为时已晚。
Took the wind
out of my sails.
使我的帆不再受风吹拂。
Oh, no. Sorry.
不好了。对不起。
Just...
I'm sorry, Louise.
只是……对不起，露易丝。
Just, look,
I know I fucked this up.
只是，听着，我知道我搞砸了。
I just get so nervous
on first dates,
第一次约会我就很紧张
second and third dates,