无敌少侠（2021）

每当别人说我是小孩 我都会被激怒
The kid thing sets me off every time,
然后我就会进入野兽模式
and then it's like, "Rah!"Beast mode.
抱歉我刚才拿你的小鸡鸡说事
Sorry about the dick joke.
我肯定你的阳♥具♥很厉害
I'm sure your junk is awesome.
没关系 我没事 你很厉害
It's fine.I'm good. You're good.
你的拳头真够力
You can... punch hard.
我刚才并不需要你的帮助 王八蛋
Didn't need your help, asshole.
老天爷
Aw, Christ...
妈的
Mother fuck!
接我刚才说的话 欢迎加入全球护卫队 野兽女孩
As I was saying,welcome to the Guardians of the Globe,Monster Girl...
我肯定会便血了
I'm gonna shit blood.
还有炸♥弹♥雷克斯
...along with Rex Splode,
让他先恢复一下
once he's recovered...
还有我们最后一位队员 原子女侠伊芙
and our final member,Atom Eve.
感谢大家今天到来
Thank you all for coming today.
我们很快就会公布队员名单
We'll be making a public announcement shortly.
机器人
Robot.
不必感谢我
No need to thank me.
我需要保持中立 这是不用说的
I obviously needed to remain impartial,
但我还是很高兴 有这么多少侠队成员脱颖而出
but I'm still delighted so many members of the Teen Team made the cut.
我不能跟雷克斯和凯特一队
I can't be on the same team as Rex and Kate.
什么 为什么
What? Why?
嘿 等等我
Hey, wait!
雷克斯 你干了什么好事
Rex, what did you do?
感谢你的援手 机器人
Thanks for the help, Robot.
我等不及加入你的队伍了
Can't wait to be on your team.
嘿 发生什么事了
Hey...what's going on?
雷克斯劈腿了 -什么
Rex cheated on me...-What?
跟分身人凯特搞上了 而且是她们三个
...with Dupli-Kate, all three of her.
他们被我抓了个正着
I walked in on them.
雷克斯跟她说我跟你有一腿
Rex told her you and me were a thing?
什么 胡说八道
Huh, what?That's... crazy.
你跟他还是情侣的时候 我不想说这句话
I didn't want to say it while you were dating the guy,
但他真是个混♥蛋♥
but what an asshole.
他也不是总那样 不过 算了
He wasn't always,but... yeah.
分手太糟心了 很遗憾
Well, that sucks.I'm sorry.
谢谢安慰
Thanks.
法医调查一结束
As soon as the forensic investigation has concluded,
我们就会搬进护卫队总部
we'll be moving into the Guardians' headquarters.
在此之前 我们会在这里训练
Until then, we'll be training here.
早上6点吃早餐...
Breakfast is at 6:00 a.m.,
然后闭门格斗练习一直到午饭时间
then close-in combat exercises until lunch.
凯特一号♥在哪
Where is Kate Prime?
她有事 我可以替代她
Had a thing.I can fill her in.
好了 我话说明白了
Okay, just to make it clear,
我无论在哪个宇宙 都不会早上6点起床
there is no universe in which I wake up at 6:00 a.m.
况且这世界又不是处于水深火热之中
and the world isn't on fire.
得了吧 机器人
Come on, Robot.
我们不需要搞什么特训营 我们能搞定
We don't need this boot camp bullshit.It's us.
雷克斯 我们现在已经不是少侠队了
We're not on the Teen Team any longer, Rex.
说得对
Exactly.
我肯定你有很多跟青少年开战的经验
I'm sure you've had a lot of experience wrangling teenagers,
但我从一开始就加入了护卫队
but I was with the Guardians from day one.
谢谢 老爹
Wow, thanks, Dad.
如果你没有失去你的超能力
Maybe if you didn't lose your powers,
他们丧命那天 你也许会在场救他们
you might've been there to help the Guardians on their last day.
我还不了解你
I don't know you yet,
所以我就把那个当作笑话 我才不必把你揍到
so I'm going to assume that was a joke,and I don't need to beat your ass
跪下求饶 再也不敢叫我老爹
until all you wanna do is call me Dad again.
我也不认识你
I don't know you either,
但我们需要的队长 要能让大家看到眼睛
but we need a leader we can look in the eye.
而不是一堆代码 无意冒犯
Not a bunch of ones and zeros.No offense.
你那话其实很冒犯人
That's actually super offensive,
那么 慢着 你觉得你应该当队长
so wait, you think you should be in charge?
我是最有经验的
I am the most experienced.
对啊 在失去超能力方面
Yeah, at losing your powers.
我刚才不是说过这笑话了吗
Didn't I crack that joke already?
我们为什么要忍♥受这家伙
Why are we even putting up with this guy?
他穿战服 战服需要电池
He wears a suit!It takes batteries.
我们直接让伊芙回来得了
Let's just get Eve back in here.
我不熟悉组队的事 但我还以为需要团队合作
I'm new to this whole team thing,but I thought it involved teamwork.
我也是这么想的
As did I.
你们谈妥了再叫我吧 我会在健身房♥里
Call me when you figure it out.I'll be in the gym.
我也是
Me too.
我去监督
I'll go supervise.
轮不到你监督
No, you won't!
我想干什么就干什么
I can do whatever I like.
第一天上任 表现不错 机器人
Good first day, Robot.
一天三场格斗练习 我不行
I can't do three combat exercises a day.
我必须在有限的时间内 让这支队伍运转起来
I'm on a rather tight timetable to get this team operational.
我每次变形后都会变年轻
Whenever I transform, I get younger.
这是赋予我超能力的诅咒 造成的后果之一
It's part of the curse that gives me my powers.
我看起来不像 但我已经24岁了
I don't look it, but I'm 24 years old.
我以前叫“野兽女人” 但那解释不清 所以...
I used to go by Monster Woman,but it got too hard to explain, so...
如果你不想给我换尿布
if you don't want to start changing my diapers,
一天三场练习对我来说太多了
three exercises a day are too much for me.
我并不...当然了 很抱歉
I didn't...Of course, my apologies.
这肯定很煎熬吧
It must be difficult.
试试以我这个样子 谈一场正常的恋爱你就知道了
Try having a normal relationship looking like this.
对我感兴趣的男的 要么正处于青春期
The guys who are interested are either going through puberty,
要么因性犯罪被登记在案
or popping up on sex offender registries.
我很理解那种感觉 世人只看到你的表面
I understand what it's like for the world to look at you and see one thing,
但却从来不了解你的内心
never knowing the truth of what's inside.
你怎么能理解 你只是个机器人
How can you understand?You're a robot.
可悲
Pathetic.
这些必须弄走
This has gotta go.
把这个藏起来
Hide this.
把这个扔了
Toss this.
什么 住手 喂
What? Stop.Hey,
现在当个极客是很酷的事 好吧
being a geek is cool now, okay?
也许安珀也喜欢漫画
So, maybe Amber likes comics, too.
你有没有想过 混球
You thought of that?Ya dick.
我说的不是漫画 我是指你的脏衣服
I'm not talking about the comics,I'm talking about the dirty clothes,
盘子 那些纸巾
the dishes,the tissues.
这样好多了 好吧 我给你带了点家庭作业
Better.Okay, I brought you some homework.
娜欧米克莱因 一点玛格丽特阿特伍德
A little Naomi Klein.A touch of Margaret Atwood.
塔那西斯科茨 -这些我都没读过
Some Ta-Nehisi Coates.-I haven't read any of those.
但她读过 所以你得开始了
But she has,so get started.
这能让安珀知道你对她感兴趣
It'll show Amber you're interested in her.
她还喜欢吃辣的
She's also into spicy foods,
喜欢单口相声 还有第四浪潮女性主义
stand-up comedy,and fourth-wave feminism.
干吗 我看过她的资料了
What? I read her file.
我在学校打听的
I asked around at school.
这是学习约会 又不是第一次恋爱约会
It's just a study date, not a first date.
马克 每次约会 都应该营造第一次约会的感觉
Mark, every date should feel like a first date.
马克 你的朋友到了
Mark! Your friend is here!
走吧 从后门离开
Go! Out the back way.
你晚点给我电♥话♥的时候再道谢 到时跟我说说进展
You can thank me later when you call me,and tell me exactly how it all went.
嗨 格雷森太太 我叫安珀
Hi, Mrs. Grayson. I'm Amber.
威廉说我该读一读 让你知道我感兴趣...很有趣
William said I should read it to show you that I'm interested-interesting-
我会读的 但是我更喜欢这些
and I will,but this is more me.
坦率的男人 我喜欢
An honest man.I like that.
原来你喜欢漫画
So...you're into comics.
这很明显吗
Is it that obvious?
你最喜欢哪本
What's your favorite?
天哪 真挑不出我最喜欢的
Oh, man, I can't pick a favorite,
但这本讲的是一个水下焊工
but...Ooh, this one is about a guy who's an underwater welder,
他开始在海底看见鬼魂
and starts seeing ghosts on the bottom of the ocean,
这本的主角是一只杰克罗索㹴犬 他是玄学艺术的大♥师♥
and this one is about a Jack Russell terrier who's a master of the metaphysical arts.
《降神狗》 厉害
Seance Dog?Cool.