难以伺候

High Maintenance S02E01

Part 1 March 10, 2020, 11:32 a.m.

今天怎么样
So, how are we today?
-还好吗 -还可以
- Good? - I'm all right, yeah.
-你要来点水吗 -行啊
- You like some water? - Yeah, sure, that'd be nice.
给他拿点水
Can we get the Guy water?
今天要给你怎么剪呢先生
So, what can we do for you today, Mr. Man?
就稍微修剪一下和平常一样
Just a trim, really. You know, the usual?
你好像不是很确定
You don't seem so sure.
我很确定
Yeah, I do. I'm sure.
不是大♥麻♥
给
Here you go.
-你怎么在这里 -我在这里工作
- What are you doing here? - I work here.
太棒了
Oh, hell yeah!
理发发型参考
好了我觉得该刮胡子了老板
Okay. I think it's time we scrap it, boss man.
等等我的手为什么动不了
Wait, why can't I move my hands?
放松
Just relax, please.
等等用不上那玩意儿
Wait a second, you don't need to use those.
别我不需要
Don't use those. I don't need that.
好吧
All right.
真奇怪
Oh, weird.
真是太奇怪了
That was so weird.
奇怪的梦
Weird dream.
-梦里... -不不不
- Dude, it was like-- - No, no, no, no.
我喜欢你但是...
I like you, but...
你最不擅长分享你的梦境了
your worst quality is your dream sharing.
什么你在开玩笑吗
What? Are you fucking kidding me?
我觉得
Your ayahuasca trip sharing
你的死藤水体验分享更糟糕
is something I'd like to nominate as much worse.
快看信封到了
Oh, look! The envelope just came in.
最烂分享奖的得主是你
Oh! And the award for the worst quality goes to you,
因为你晚上放屁
for your fucking night farting.
上帝啊
Oh my God.
你听到了
You heard that, huh?
没错我听到了
Yeah, yeah, I heard it.
太响了
It was super fucking loud.
我睡着了都被你吵醒了
I was asleep and you woke me
你的屁♥股♥跟在剧烈咳嗽似的
when your asshole was just coughing up a lung.
我觉得这就像去年的奥斯卡奖
I think this was like, uh, last year's Oscars
肯定是信封弄混了
and there must've been a mix-up.
-你肯定... -我是费·唐娜薇
- You must've-- - I'll be Faye Dunaway.
肯定是...
It must've been--
我是沃伦·比蒂
Oh, I'm the Warren Beatty.
2017年奥斯卡颁奖礼中
沃伦·比蒂和费·唐娜薇颁发的最佳电影
由于信封送错而出现了乌龙
我想代表所有没在晚上放过屁的孩子
I'd like to accept this award on behalf of all the children
接受这个奖项
who never had a chance to night fart.
我也想谢谢我的结肠
I mean, also I'd like to thank my colon
-它永远支持着我 -该死
- who's always been behind me. - Oh, shit.
-出事了 -什么
- Something bad happened. - What?
操不
Fuck. No.
我得早点去上班了
I think I'm gonna go to work early.
应该的
Yeah, that makes sense.
天啊
Jesus.
众口难调
第二季第一集
伙计你能赶紧过来吗
哥们你不干了吗
这世界怎么了
拯救人类
谢天谢地你还在干
Oh, thank God you're working,
我一醒来就看到邮件里写着
'cause I woke up to an email that was like,
「布莱恩你今天必须来一趟」
"Hey, Brian, we really need you to come in today."
我真想说「你♥他♥妈♥看新闻了吗」
And I was like, "Did you read the fucking news?"
简直是万般绝望涌上心头
It's like a phantasmagoria of despair out there.
我去拿钱包
Let me get my wallet.
是啊的确很可怕
Yeah, it's fucking terrible, man.
你认识我室友的
You know my roommate.
天啊
Oh, holy shit.
天我都没认出是你伙计
Damn, I didn't even recognize you, man.
我减肥了
Yeah, I, uh, I lost some weight.
真不错你怎么减下来的
Yeah, it's great. How'd you do that?
运动然后我还改变了我的饮食习惯
Exercise, and I, like, changed my whole relationship with food.
我骑单车跑步举重
I've been spinning, running, weight lifting.
-好吧 -我吃很多沙拉
- Okay. - I've been eating a lot of salads.
很难吃不过你知道的
Which sucks, but you know,
至少我不再是个胖子了
at least I won't be the fat guy anymore.
我现在都不敢出去了
I'm terrified to even go outside now.
那也太疯狂了吧
Is that crazy?
不其实外面没有那么糟糕伙计
No, it's not so bad out there, though, man.
大家其实都在相互照应
I mean, everyone's being really nice to each other.
有点像911之后
It's kind of like post-9/11,
「我们要共渡难关」那种
"We're all in this together" vibe.
挺好的很和平
Yeah. It's pretty cool. It's peaceful.
好吧但我可没办法跟别人"共渡"
Okay, well, I'm not able to be "in this together" with anyone
除非我先镇静下来
until I calm the fuck down.
没事我了解
Okay. I got you.
你有什么好东西能让我大脑休息一下
What do you have that's good for turning my brain off?
好了我得走了见到你很开心
All right, man, I have to go. It was great seeing you.
再见哥们好样的
See ya, man. Good job.
「天赐之礼」这个能让你消停下来
God's Gift. That'll put you right down.
「极光」也不错
And, uh, Northern Lights. That'll do it too.
科迪你来点吗
All right. Hey, Cody, you want in on this?
不用了那玩意只会让我想吃东西
No, thanks, man, I'm cool. That shit just makes me hungry.
高中毕业后第一次减到275磅
高中毕业后第一次减到275磅
惊愕不已潸然泪下
确认删除照片
买♥♥吉事果吗吉事果
Churros? Churros!
一块钱
One dollar.
吉事果
Churros!
吉事果
Churros.
享受流汗
真是怪物
Fucking monster.
你能相信吗
Can you believe this?
难以置信简直疯了
No. I can't. It's crazy.
确认删除照片
-马上开始了 -我没心情了抱歉
- Class is about to start. - I can't. I'm sorry.
没心情这三个字可自带了心情两字亲爱的
Can't even can't without can, honey!
大家好
Hey, y'all!
你们好吗今天是个好日子
How are you? It's a great day!
我是查尔斯
I'm Charles!
你们能来就已经完成了最困难的一步
You've already done the hardest part: getting here.
接下来只要跟随节拍动起来
The rest is just pumping to the beat!
好了各位都准备好了吗
All right, everyone, I hope you're clipped in!
要开始了坐好
Starting, booties in our seats!
手放好第一式
Hands, position one!
谁今天状态很好
Who's feeling themselves today?
我状态很好
I know I am!
把我当成你们的心理医生
Think of me as your therapist.
今天一切问题都将迎刃而解
You are going to work out those issues in here today!
快快燃烧你的身体
Push! Push! Tell your body what it needs.
加油加油
Give it to it! Give it to it!
如果你没达到目标转速
If you aren't hitting your target RPM's,
你就没做对
you're not doing it right.
如果不做对
And what's the point of being here
那来这儿还有什么意义
if you're not gonna do it right?
对吗姑娘们我说得对吗
Am I right, ladies, or am I right?
我永远都是对的快快
I'm always right. Come on, come on!
再快点
Hit it hard! Go in!
加油
In! In!
我知道但是
I know, but I mean,
但我想到不一定什么时候
I gotta think at some point,
就会有暴♥力♥
there's gonna be some violence.
所以来健身房♥
Well, all this going to the gym
总归还是有意义的
will have been for something then.
你说得对但说实在的
Yeah, you're right. Yo, but for real,
今天过后
after today,
我觉得我能理解那种挣扎了