难以伺候

我觉得我他妈尿路感染了
I think I have a fucking UTI.
你一定要每次都说"他妈"吗
Do you have to say "Fucking" All the time?
我的天 我就是这么说话的啊
My God! That's just how I talk!
我觉得我他妈尿路感染了
I think I have a fucking UTI.
可能是宫颈感染了
Maybe it's a yeast infection.
你的阴♥道♥有没有闻起来像刚路过赛百味
Does your vagina smell like you just passed by Subway?
什么 没有
What? No.
你有闻到刚出炉面包的味道吗
Do you detect the odor of fresh-baked bread?
你做♥爱♥之后有小便吗
Well, look, do you-- do you urinate after you have sex?
拜托 你没必要提醒我
Please. You don't have to remind me.
-我要怎么办 -我联♥系♥医生
- What should I do? - I'm gonna call the doctor.
从一到十 你的疼痛感觉像是几级
Look, on a scale of one to 10, the pain sounds like it's a what?
-十级吗 十级吗 -十级
- It's a 10? Is it a 10? - Ten!
那我联♥系♥医生 等会打给你 拜
Well, then I'm calling him. I'll get back to you. Bye.
能帮忙预约下曼迪的妇科医生吗
Can we make an appointment with Maddie's gynecologist?
因为我觉得她可能是宫颈感染了
Because I really think she might have a yeast infection.
亲爱的 是我
Hey, little acorn, it's me.
我想知道你怎么样了 你没给我回电
I want to know how you're doing and you haven't called back.
所以你从医生那出来后就尽快回电好吗
So please call me as soon as you get out of the doctor's okay?
等你电♥话♥ 我坐这儿吃饭呢
I'm gonna wait for your call. I'm sitting right here eating.
车铃
Bell. Woo!
好了 谢谢你帮我修好了车
All right. Thanks for the sexy wheels, man.
今晚有空吗
我不记得上次买♥♥的是什么了
I don't remember what I got last time,
只记得非常...
but it was-- it was very...
很不错
it was good. Yeah.
你有没有类似科罗娜啤酒的
So I'm looking for something that's like a Corona,
你懂吗 就像周六
you know what I mean? Like a Saturday,
来一瓶科罗娜啤酒
you're having a Corona. Like nothing that's gonna take...
不让自己那么清醒
anybody up there, but not
但也不至昏昏欲睡 就好像
gonna make them sleepy, like just, "Mmm."
你明白我说的吗
You know what I'm saying?
或许你说的是混合麻
Maybe you're looking for a hybrid?
-有可能 -酸D很棒
- Maybe. Yeah. - You know, Sour D is just great.
-是吗 -我喜欢酸D
- Yeah? - I love Sour "D."
有没有可以助兴的
What about something... for the bedroom?
不是给我 是她
It's not for me but for her.
-她需要放松一下 -好吧
- She needs a little something to... relax. - Okay.
不是放松 助眠
You know, not just relax and get sleepy...
-懂了 懂了 -是放松 唤醒欲望
- I got it. Yeah, I got it. - ...but relax and wake it up.
-绿麻可以催情 -好吧
- Green Crack is an aphrodisiac. - Okay.
好像不错 你试过吗
That sounds really good. Have you used this?
我抽过 我很喜欢
I smoke it. I like it.
那什么呢
And... results or--?
-倒没有直接让我勃起 -但有没有
- I mean, it doesn't make me like get a boner. - Yeah, but does it--
-你好吗 -很好
- How you doing? - Good.
你呢
Everything okay?
我有点担心曼德琳
I'm kind of worried about Madeline.
什么 怎么了
What? What's the matter? What happened?
太多事了
She has so much going on...
-什么 -身体不太好
- What? - ...physically.
-你问"什么"是什么意思 -我问
- What do you mean, "What?" - I'm asking--
你说"太多事了"
I said-- you said, "so much going on."
-什么事 -她身体不好 还老玩消失
- What's going on? - All of her physical stuff, and she ghosted me.
-什么 -她老玩消失
- What? - She ghosted me.
-什么意思 -就是你正跟对方发着短♥信♥
- What is that? - Ghosting is when you're texting with somebody
人家突然就不回了
and then they just stop texting you very suddenly.
她应该没事
Okay, well, I'm sure she's fine.
-我们觉得她得了尿路感染 -好吧
- I think-- well, we think that she has a UTI. - Okay.
我今早把她送去了卫生中心
You know, I sent her to the health center this morning.
-她一直没回信 -等她回去了
- She hasn't written back. - Okay, well, when she gets back,
-就会联♥系♥你的 -我不大喜欢布莱恩
- I'm sure she'll reach out. - I'm kinda freaked out about Brian.
-怎么了 -布莱恩没割包皮
- Why? - Brian is uncircumcised.
这个五十块
That's 50... also.
-她连这个也告诉你了 -对
- She told you that? - Yeah.
-你们聊天还说这个 -不然呢
- Just in a regular conversation? - That's what people talk about.
-我也得过这个病 -谢谢
- I had the same problem. - Thank you.
你得按时去尿尿 你得起来去尿尿
You have to remember to pee. You have to get up and pee.
-是 -好了 我得走了
- Right. - All right. Well, I gotta get up.
-好 -回见
- All right. - And I'll see you later.
-食用愉快 -好的
- Enjoy the Green Crack. - Yeah.
-你去哪儿 -送送他
- Where are you going? - I'm just walking him to the door.
-非常感谢 -没事 再见
- I really appreciate it. - Yeah. See you, man.
-我会给你反馈的 -别了
- Yup. I'll let you know how it goes. - Don't.
爱丽莎 放点抒情音乐
Alexa, turn on something romantic.
为您播放抒情音乐
Here's something romantic.
-来了 -来了
- There she goes. - There she goes.
我不太喜欢这个
I'm not like so into this.
但我们说好了的 这个可以催情
Yeah, but you promised. It's an aphrodisiac.
-我不知道 -试试
- I didn't know that. - Try it.
来
Go ahead.
吸气
Inhale.
对
Yes.
天 快收起来
Oh God, put that away please.
-我必须得接 -别别别
- I just-- I have to get it. - No, no, no.
你能收起来吗 拜托
Can you please put that away? Please, please.
我一下午都在给你打电♥话♥ 你去哪儿了
I was calling you all afternoon. Where were you?
-我忙 -医生怎么说
- I've been busy. - What did the doctor say?
我们虚惊一场
He just said that it was a false alarm,
但他让我换一下沐浴露
but he still wants me to change my body soap
不然会刺♥激♥我阴♥道♥发炎
in case it's causing vaginal irritation.
好吧 那就行
Okay, that's good. That's great.
要不要跟你♥爸♥打个招呼
Wanna-- wanna say hi to daddy?
-老爸 -你今天晚上干什么
- Hi, Dad. - What are you gonna do tonight?
今天真是太长了 我打算去布莱恩家
I've had such a rough day. I think I'm just gonna go
他还叫上了其他人
to Brian's 'cause he's having some people over
-我们打算胡来一通 -曼迪
- and we're all gonna get fucked up. - Maddie.
-怎么了 -你妈妈跟我在忙
- Yeah? - Your mom and I are in the middle of something.
-我们能明天再跟你说吗 -你们在干什么
- Can we talk to you tomorrow? - What are you doing?
我在尝试说服你妈跟我过性生活
I'm trying to convince your mother to have sex with me.
-老爸 -你疯了吗
- Dad! - What is wrong with you?
真的太久了
It's been a really, really long time.
-老爸 我不想听细节 -完全不是真的
- Dad! TMI! - That's completely not true.
我得挂电♥话♥了 亲爱的 晚点打给你
I've gotta go, honey. I'll talk to you later.
怎么可能不是真的
How can that not be true?
你怎么回事
What is wrong with you?
怪我吗
What is wrong with me?
-为老不尊 - 天啊
- So inappropriate. - Oh God.
妈妈
Mom?
是我
It's me.
我
I'm, um...
我过得很不好
I'm having a really hard time.
是吗 怎么了
Yeah? Why?
我有问题
I have a problem.
什么问题
With what?
我的小兄弟很寂寞
My penis is really lonely.
很寂寞
It's lonely?
它就好像浩瀚宇宙中的一粒尘埃
It's like it's out in space.
我不知道怎么办 就
I don't know what to do. It's just... uh.
太悲哀了
Aw, that's so sad.
非常痛苦 我不知道我还能不能够继续
It's so painful. I don't know if I can keep going. I don't know.
我就想象
I just envisioned...
小兄弟就在漂浮 太悲哀了
this-- this penis just floating. It was so sad.
我在找一个能帮我的护士
Well, I'm looking for a nurse that can help,
她最好还是这方面的专家
and that specializes in these kinds of things.
你知道吗 你看起来像是一个帮得上忙的护士
Do you know-- You look like a nurse that could really help.
-你看起来像个美丽的护士 -现在吗
- You look like a beautiful nurse. - At this moment?
对 你看起来是个很火♥辣♥的
Yeah, you look like a really cute nurse...
嗑嗨了的护士 而且还不清楚情况
...that's getting stoned, and she doesn't know what's happening.
-天啊 -她吸了催情剂
- Oh God. - And she's smoking this aphrodisiac,
她失控了