难以伺候

不全是厨余垃圾
It's not all kitchen scraps.
是三分之一的厨余垃圾
It is one-third kitchen scraps.
还有三分之二的花♥园♥垃圾
It is two-thirds browns,
全都是树叶 干草 稻草和锯末
which are leaves, hay, straw, sawdust.
但是 我们的花♥园♥垃圾不多
But, you know, we're low on browns
因为人们一般不会把花♥园♥垃圾给我们
'cause folks don't bring us browns.
那这些花♥园♥垃圾是谁给的
So who's our browns guy?
我们有木工厂的捐赠
Well, we get donations from the woodshop,
但是 我们总是缺少花♥园♥垃圾
but, you know, we're always in need of browns.
好吧 我们来看看能做点什么
All right. Let's see what we can do about it.
我们以前有一个堆肥大♥师♥
We used to have a compost guru.
-厄尼 -是吗
- Ernie. - Oh yeah?
这个项目就是他发起的
He set this whole operation up.
他教会了所有的园丁
He educated all the gardeners,
如何搭配树叶和泥土比例之类的
on greens, on browns, ratios, you know, all of that.
然后有一个周日 他...
And then, there was one Sunday and he was--
他走了进来 手里抱着
he was comin' in and he was carrying these
街对面咖啡店的咖啡土
coffee grounds from the café across the street,
然后他突然停在那里
and he stopped right there.
就那里
Right there.
于是我们问
And we just all said,
"怎么了 厄尼
"What's the matter, Ernie?
怎么了"
What's the matter?"
他什么都没说
And, uh, he didn't say anything.
他瞪着死鱼眼看着我
He just looked at us with his bug eyes
然后就突然仰面倒下死了
and then he just keeled over and died.
天啊 太惨了
Oh my God, that's so sad.
是啊 但是你知道吗
Yeah. But you know what?
他原本很期待自己死后能做成堆肥
He was very excited about being compost when he died,
他的愿望成真了
and he got his wish.
-所以也算是好事了 -没错 很棒
- So that's nice. Yeah. - Yeah, that's nice.
-我都不知道还能利用自己的骸骨 -没错
- I didn't know you could do that with your remains. - Oh yeah.
但他没在这批堆肥里吧
But he's not in this compost, is he?
他洒满整个花♥园♥了
Oh. He's all over the garden!
你在开玩笑 对吧
You're joking, right?
对 我是在开玩笑
Yeah. Yeah. I'm joking.
-好吧 -开玩笑的
- Okay. - I'm jokin'!
真好笑
Funny.
开始了
And so it begins.
好了 奇科
All right, Chick.
我要去找一个人...
I gotta go see a man about, um...
-买♥♥马吗 -给他卖♥♥点大♥麻♥
- A horse? - Sellin' him some weed.
-谢谢你 奇科 -不客气
- Thank you, Chick. - You're welcome.
这是你的狗吗
Is this your dog?
我的天
Oh my gosh.
你真是条可爱的狗狗 是吧
Oh, you're a very sweet dog, aren't you?
你也是那种需要爱抚的狗
Oh, you're one of those.
我知道你喜欢什么
I know your type.
好了 听着 我要走了 好吗
All right, well. Listen, I'm gonna go, okay?
回头见
See you around.
哥们
Whoa, hey! Dude.
你干什么 哥们 这样不安全
Hey! What are you doin', dude? That's not safe.
你为什么跟着我
Hey. Why are you following me?
哥们 你为什么跟着我
Dude, why are you following me?
你在干什么
What are you doin'?
好吧
All right.
你真是史上最执拗的狗狗
You're the most presuming dog that a human could know.
好了 别在街上跑
Come on, get out of the street.
你真是疯了
You're fuckin' crazy.
众口难调
第四季第一集
《美国生活》
今天
我们的好戏
共三幕
她准备好录下所有东西...
She's ready to have everything recorded...
《美国生活》
-她打算怎么做 -包括腐♥败♥
- How is she planning to? - ...including the composting,
不管这听上去怎么样
whatever sound that makes.
我不知道我们想不想看着她死去
Like, I don't know if we'd wanna watch her die,
但是那个家庭的冲突有故事可以挖掘...
but the conflict with the family, that's a story, like--
我们有没有做过关于回收的 更广义的
Have we done something like recycling, but in like a broad sense?
-隐喻的回收 -作为一♥期♥节目
- Recycling as a metaphor. - As a show.
不如真的做一些回收
Well, like, what about actual recycling stuff?
你们知道这幢楼的回收系统吗
Like, do you guys know about the recycling in this building?
-等等 他们不回收可回收垃圾吗 -没有的
- Wait. They don't recycle the recycling? - There is none.
不 我还以为真是那样的
No. I thought that was true.
就是没有回收 全都到楼下分的
There just isn't recycling. It's sorted downstairs.
真没有
It's not!
我们以为我们在回收 其实没有
We think we're recycling and we're not recycling.
我们活在谎言之中 我们都是...
We're living a lie. We are all--
只有你还以为有回收的事
You're the only one who still thought that there was recycling.
我不知道
No, I didn't know that.
我早就知道了
I've known this for a while.
-我以为我们大家都知道 -我不知道
- I thought we all knew that? - I didn't know that.
我以为我们都知道
I thought we all knew that,
但我还挺喜欢有人不知道的
but I do like that some people don't know.
感觉告诉就像告诉他们
It feels like telling them
圣诞老人不是真的一样
that Father Christmas is, like, not real.
这话你还不能在广播里说
Which is the one thing you can't say on the radio.
你不能在广播里说圣诞老人不是真的
You can't say that Santa isn't real on the radio,
我们每年圣诞节都会碰上这种情况
we run across this every Christmas.
-说之前就会被警告 -那就去他的
- Warnings before a Santa-is-not-real set. - Well, screw that then!
等等 如果我们做一个"不是真的"节目呢
Wait. What if we did a "It's Not Real" show?
有个BDSM测试
Okay, so there's this test that's a BDSM test,
绑缚与调♥教♥
支配与臣服
施虐与受虐
很猎奇的测试 我做了
like a kink test, uh, and I took it,
我发现我是结绳小兔型
and I found out I'm a rope bunny.
天啊
Oh, God.
你说得好像真的一样
You said that like it's a thing!
什么是结绳小兔
What is a rope bunny?
就是在性♥爱♥中喜欢被绑着的人
It's somebody who likes to be tied up during sex.
我觉得许多女人都这样
I feel like that's like a lot of women.
-就像是个人... -你听到了吗
- It's like a personal-- - You see?
然后发现这些都不是真的
But then anyway, it turns out none of it's real.
比如说BDSM社区...
Like the BDSM community--
等等 我不明白
Wait, wait, wait. But I just wanna understand.
你说你做了测试
You're saying you took a test.
结果表明你是结绳小兔型
It told you you're a rope bunny.
现在你发现测试不是真的
Now you find out the test is not real.
所以你不是结绳小兔型吗
So are you not a rope bunny?
我不想...
Um... I don't wanna--
我不知道我为什么要说这个
I don't know why I'm any saying any of this.
我要回到"回收"这个话题了
I'm going back to recycling.
我来说说回收
Okay, can I just pitch recycling.
"回收关系"听起来怎么样
What about like, like, recycling a relationship?
比如有人重回一段关系中
Like somebody who comes back to a relationship.
我不知道那是什么情况
I don't know what that's like at all.
-你们有这种故事吗 -不 我没有...
- Do you have that story? - No, I'm not getting--
我父母隐瞒了他们离婚的事
Well, my, my, uh... My parents lied to me about getting divorced.
-等等 真的吗 -是的
- Wait. Seriously? - Yeah, yeah. Um...
我17岁的时候 我爸妈离婚了
When I was 17, my mom and dad, they got legally divorced,
但他们不想告诉我
but they didn't want to tell me
想等我高中毕业 所以...
until after I graduated high school, so...
他们假装没离婚
they pretended to stay married.
等等 他们还住在一起吗
But wait. They still lived together?
是的 他们还住在一起
Yara: Yeah, they still lived together,
而且假装还在一起
and they pretended to stay together.
在我的毕业典礼上 我拿到文凭证书后
Anyways, at my graduation, when I got my diploma,
我在往座位走的路上
and I was walking back to my chair,
我看了一眼我的父母
I look up to my parents,
他们坐在看台上
and they're sitting in the bleachers and, uh,
他们没有在看我 他们在争吵
they're not looking at me, they're fighting.