难以伺候

好吧 为什么 我还以为
Okay. Why? I thought--
我以为那些人都已经脱教了
I thought all these people had already left.
不是不是 这些人有很多还在教里
No. No, no, no. A lot of these people are still in.
那边那对蕾丝 其中一个还是已婚
One of the lesbians over there, she's still married.
好吧
Okay.
如果她丈夫知道了
If her husband finds out,
她就麻烦了
you know, she'll be in a lot of trouble.
懂了 好的
Gotcha. Yeah.
角落里那个男人什么情况 他是
What's the deal with the guy in the corner? Is he--
-那个人 -对
- That guy? - Yeah.
他有九个孩子
Yeah, he's got nine kids.
和老婆孩子吃完安息日晚餐后
After having Shabbos dinner with his wife and family,
他就来这里和朋友玩会
he comes here to hang out with-- with friends.
好的
Okay.
我能问你个问题吗
Uh, can I ask you a question?
床单上有洞的事是真的吗
Is it true what they say about the hole in the sheet?
-假的 假的 -假的 好吧
- No. No. No. u202d - No. Okay.
你 你介意和我来张自♥拍♥吗
Hey, uh, would you-- would you mind taking a selfie with me?
-自♥拍♥ -对 就我俩
- A selfie? - Yeah, just the two of us.
可以啊 自♥拍♥ 好的
Yeah, sure, a selfie. Yeah.
准备好了
Ready?
谢谢
Thank you.
我看看 我看看
Let's see, let's see.
还不错
Oh, that's nice.
把手♥机♥收起来
Put the phone away.
我知道 只是我俩的照片
I know. I know. It was just the two of us.
恕我冒昧
My all due respect--
我道歉 我们重新开始
I apologize. We start over again.
你好 我叫撒母耳 你好吗
Okay. u202dHi, my name's Schmuel. How are you?
-很好 -我听说你是个作家
- Good. - So I heard you're a writer?
是的 我给时尚杂♥志♥写文章
Yeah, yeah. No, I write-- I write-- I write for Vice.
时尚杂♥志♥啊 你认识梅书拉姆•维斯吗
Vice, Vice. You know Meshulam Weiss?
我和他一起上的学
I went to yeshiva with him.
你不知道
You don't know?
好吧 不好意思
No. So yeah, I'm sorry,
我只是 这代入了我的个人情感
I just-- this is an emotional thing for me.
就我俩之间说说
So, just between me and you and nobody else, listen,
你这样能赚多少钱
how much you getting paid for this?
这...
Oh, it's--
我只是个特约撰稿人
I'm just a staff writer.
就是 标准的价格
Like, I make a-- I make a standard...
员工 那你赚多少 赚多少
Staff, schmaff. But what are you making? What are you making?
就是标准工资 真的
I-- I make a standard salary. It's really--
太好了
Oh, goody.
好了 去你们的
All right, go fuck yourselves.
祝你们身体健康
L'chaim! L'chaim!
你想喝点别的什么吗
You want something else to drink?
不用了 我很好 谢谢
No. You know what? I'm good. Thank you.
我其实 我带了点大♥麻♥
I actually-- I brought some weed.
我不知道你们吸不吸大♥麻♥
I don't know if you guys smoke weed.
我们吸不吸大♥麻♥
Do we smoke weed?
那得看情况了 这个合规矩吗
Well, it depends. Is it kosher?
合规矩吗 我已经开始喜欢这姑娘了
Is it kosher? I like this one already.
我们重新开始 重新开始
Let's start over. Let's start over.
我感觉像个生锈的篮球
I feel like-- like a rusty basketball.
-我的天 这些都是谁做的 -我
- My God. Who the fuck made all of this? - Me. u202d
-你 -对啊
- You? - Yeah. u202d
先生 你真是个国宝啊
You, sir, are a national treasure.
谢谢 你也是
Well, thank you. So are you.
非常感谢 这个就像
Thank you so much. This is like--
就像尼古拉斯·凯家里的一个诡异房♥间
like a weird room in Nic Cage's house.
我敢肯定尼古拉斯·凯奇
Like, I'm sure Nic Cage
在他的城♥堡♥里就有这么一模一样的房♥间
has the exact room in his castle somewhere.
那个绝对看起来像是
That one definitely does look like
尼古拉斯·凯奇的戏服
a Nicolas Cage costume waiting to happen.
我是尼古拉斯·凯奇的死忠粉
Yeah. I'm a Nicolas Cage aficionado.
我几乎看过他过去二十五年的所有电影
I've seen almost every Nicolas Cage film of the last 25 years.
-《坏中尉》 -对的
- Bad Lieutenant. - Yeah.
我超爱《坏中尉》
I love Bad Lieutenant.
《远离赌城》呢
Leaving Las Vegas. Hello.
我没看过《远离赌城》
I didn't see Leaving Las Vegas.
-什么 -我从来没看过
- What? - u202dI never saw it.
你从来没看过《远离赌城》
You never saw Leaving Las Vegas?
尼古拉斯·凯奇演一个赌城里的落魄酒鬼
So, Nicolas Cage, alcoholic, down and out in Vegas,
还掉进了泳池
like, falling into swimming pools.
他完全是一团糟
He's a mess.
伊丽莎白·苏的角色想拯救他
Elisabeth Shue is trying to save him.
那是她的演技巅峰了
It's the best thing she's ever done.
-那不是她演过最好的角色 -明明就是
- It's not her best work. - It's her best work ever.
-《功夫小子》呢 -应该是《保姆大冒险》
- What about Karate Kid? - Adventures in Babysitting.
《保姆大冒险》
Adventures in Babysitting.
我有点好奇...
I wonder what...?
这样吧 我自己查
You know what? I'm gonna find out.
伊丽莎白·苏近况如何
What are you up to, Elisabeth Shue?
-伊丽莎白·苏 -这是您的
- What are you up to, - Here's what I found...
-近况如何 -网络搜索结果
- Elisabeth Shue? - On the web for...
*伊丽莎白·苏*
*What are you up to*
*近况如何*
*Elisabeth Shue?*
*伊丽莎白·苏近况如何*
*What are you up to, Elisabeth Shue?*
*伊丽莎白·苏近况如何*
*What are you up to, Elisabeth Shue?*
怎么样 哥们
What's up, man?
-货怎么样 -相当棒 真的不错
- How was that? - u202dPretty good, man. Pretty good.
真的能让我们身心平静
I think we're really getting our system down.
没错 我们的"堕落体制"[乐队名]
Yeah, our very own System of a Down.
打扰一下 我没要拼车
Okay, hey, sorry, I didn't request a ride share.
没关系的 哥们
Nah, it's all good, man.
-这是我朋友 -你好
-This is just my homie. - Hey. What's up?
这也太他妈过分了
Okay, this is fucked up.
怎么能这么说呢
Yo! "Fucked up"?
放松点 哥们 再喝一袋果汁吧
Dude, chill out, man. Grab another Capri Sun, huh?
好喝着呢
Yeah, they're delicious.
你之前给我那块口香糖含量有多少
Uh, how strong was that gummy you gave me?
不知道 大概40毫克 也可能50
I don't know. Like, 40 milligrams, maybe 50.
我已经有感觉了
I'm feeling it.
卖♥♥给我这些货的那哥们
The dudes that I get those from
有各种加了料的吃的
have all kinds of banging edibles
还有一大堆各种各样的萃取物
and like a whole bunch of different concentrates.
我差不多能帮你弄到
I could probably get you a good price
那些东西的优♥惠♥价 哥们
on some of that stuff, too, man.
你们知道吗 我要向公♥司♥投诉
You know what? I'm gonna call corporate.
你们太没有职业道德了
This is, like, totally unprofessional.
哥们 你都喝了两袋果汁了
Dude, after taking a second Capri Sun?
-太无情了 -抱歉喝了两袋果汁
- That's cold, man. - Well, I'm sorry about the Capri Sun,
-但我要求的是不拼车 -不 哥们
- but I signed up for a individual ride. - No, my dude.
我才替那两袋果汁觉得可惜
No. I'm sorry about the Capri Sun.
我们都心疼那两袋果汁
Yeah, we're all sorry about the Capri Sun.
-没错 -这太扯了
- Yeah, man. - This is bullshit.
我只是说 你要是根本不在乎美国
I'm just saying if you don't give a shit about America,
那就别他妈投票了 我就这个意思
then don't fucking vote. That's all I'm saying.
好 我明白你什么意思
Okay, I understand what you're saying, okay?
他是个干房♥地♥产♥的 他会做生意
He's a real estate guy, he understands business,
他会确保我们这些玩房♥地♥产♥的人都高兴
and he's gonna make sure that real estate people like me
好吗
are happy, okay?
不 我... 你说的没错
Yeah. No, I-- you're totally right.
我估计种族主义的性别歧视的抓逼[川普梗]混♥蛋♥
Like, I-- I guess like racist, sexist, pussy-grabbing assholes
都得相互支持
just gotta stick together. u202d
闭嘴吧 撒母耳 你就是只蠢猪
Oh, shut up, Schmuel. You're a chazzer.
好了 换个话题好吗
All right, let's change the subject, okay?
再说了 我们怎么可能种族歧视呢
Besides-- besides, how can we be racist?
犹太人和黑人都是受苦的 我们是难兄难弟
Jews and blacks, we both suffer. We're the same thing,