美式主妇

American Housewife S04E02

Part 1 Nov. 21, 2019, 12:39 p.m.

香蕉挂
A banana hanger.
我们中彩票了吗
Did we win the lottery?
既然我们俩都工作赚钱一段时间了
Now that we've been a two-income family for a while,
我们终于能换掉那些破烂东西
we can finally replace the stuff that's falling apart
开始享受奢华
and enjoy a few luxuries.
没错这些香蕉会好好熟一熟
Oh, yeah. Those 'nanas gonna be heck-a-ripe.
终于不用一分钱掰成两半花的感觉真是太棒了
It is nice not worrying about every dollar we spend, for once.
-新开罐器 -没错
- New can opener. - ‭That's right!
再见了只能开一半的旧开罐器
Goodbye, old can opener that only opens cans halfway
以后不用再拿刀撬开另外一半盖子了
so you have to pry the lid open with a knife.
再见了我们开罐头弄坏的刀子
Goodbye, knife we ruined opening cans.
看看我们终于有不是孩子们做的艺术品了
And look, we finally have art that wasn't made by the kids.
对这幅用五种语言说"家庭"的画打个招呼吧
Say hello to the painting that says "family" in five languages.
我太喜欢了我们挂起来吧
I love it. Let's hang it.
你只能自己去挂了
You'll have to do it without me.
我得上班去和惠特尼谈谈
I have to go into work to talk to Whitney.
今天是周日
It's Sunday.
而且你为什么要去办公室和她见面
And why do you have to go in the office to meet with her?
她不是一直都打电♥话♥的吗
Isn't she always on speakerphone?
是的太蠢了这整个工作都太蠢了
Yeah. It's dumb. This whole job is dumb.
你以前很喜欢派对策划的
You used to like party planning.
就那么一阵吧
For a second.
是个挺有趣的赚钱办法
It was a fun way to make money,
而且我喜欢听我讨厌的人
and I liked people that I hate
夸奖我做得多么好
telling me what a good job I did.
但现在那在摧毁我的灵魂
But now it's crushing my soul.
如果想把大"香蕉"挂起来这大概就是代价吧
Guess that's the price you pay if you want to hang your bananas.
恶心把这种话留在卧室吧
Gross. Leave that talk in the bedroom.
感谢你这么努力工作对你的家庭来说意义重大
Thanks for working so hard. It means a lot to your family.
对五种语言中的家庭来说都一样
And your familia, famille, famiglia, and your mischpokhe.
那是什么
What is that?
没什么
Nothing.
你在戴手链吗
Are you wearing a bracelet?
你上班要迟到了
You're gonna be late for work.
你要去面试男子组合中的小可爱吗
Are you auditioning to be the cute one in a boy band?
我不想谈这件事
I don't want to talk about it!
凯蒂就让那男人戴手链吧
Katie, just let the guy wear a bracelet.
你不会容许的是不是
You're not going to, are you?
没错
No.
奥利弗你想玩《人生之旅》吗
Hey, Oliver, you want to play the Game of Life?
不你们玩吧
No. You guys play.
我已经在现实中输了
I already lost the real version.
怎么了
What's wrong?
我想读哈佛的梦想已经彻底没戏了
My dream of getting into Harvard is officially dead.
我不能跳舞所以我准备用志愿活动
I can't dance, so I plan on padding my résumé
来丰富我的简历
with some BS volunteer work.
听起来不错
That sounds like a good idea.
但你看看我
But look at me.
我不能种树
I can't plant trees,
送餐建造栖息地
deliver meals, build habitats.
我唯一能做的就是坐着
All I can do is sit.
我的人生已经完了
My life is over.
你还有大好前程
You have lots going for you.
你有雄心壮志你的分数很高
You're ambitious, your grades are great.
再说了你才刚上高二
Plus, you're a sophomore.
你还有时间来丰富简历
You have time to build up your résumé.
如果你想好受点看看泰勒
You want to feel better, look at Taylor.
是啊看我
Yeah, yeah!
她才是该感到沮丧的那个人
She's the one that should be depressed.
她今年就要毕业了
She's graduating this year,
但她一无所成
and the girl's got nothing going on.
就算她破天荒地上了大学
And even if she does somehow go to college,
爸妈给了她一长串生活技巧清单
Mom and Dad gave her a long list of life skills,
而她甚至都不会给车加油
and she can't even fill the car with gas.
才不是我加了油
That's not true. I filled it.
我讨厌那份清单
I hate that list!
如果我什么都不会出了这房♥子就无法生存
I'm never gonna survive outside this house if I can't do anything!
一旦人人都能拿参与奖就会是这种结果
This is what happens when everyone gets participation trophies.
-凯蒂 -嗨凯文
- Katie. ‭- Hi, Kevin.
我需要定哪种愚蠢的冰雕
What kind of stupid ice sculpture
给这无聊的派对用
do I have to order for this dumb party?
你不能这样见惠特尼
Whitney cannot see you like this.
你上班穿得太随便了
You are too underdressed for the office.
我知道她在这里装了很多摄像头
I know she has the place wired with cameras,
但我已经搞定了
but I've got it covered.
等她打过来我会坐在桌前
When she calls in, I'll be sitting at my desk,
穿着西装外套
wearing this blazer.
但惠特尼会知道的因为...
But Whitney will know because --
你好凯蒂
Hello, Katie.
嗨惠特尼
Hi, Whitney!
你为什么要对着免提电♥话♥说话
Why are you talking into a speakerphone?
我不确定你每天早上
You know, I'm not sure how much time you allocate
要准备多久
for getting ready in the morning,
但我建议你把时间延长一倍
but you might want to double it.
我得解释一下我在这里工作一年多了
In my defense, I have worked here for more than a year,
今天是我第一次看见你
and this is the first time that I have laid eyes on you.
我猜这也解释了
I suppose that would explain
为什么凯文的着装如此不专业
Kevin's lack of professional attire, as well.
这是你给我买♥♥的
You bought this for me.
作为嘲笑凯文
As a razz, Kevin.
我会在这里待一周
Now, I'm in town for only one week,
我要让你为我最重要的客户
and I'm trusting you to throw a very special party
举办一场非常特别的派对
for my most important client.
玛莎·斯图尔特吗
Martha Stewart?
更好是我最喜欢的侄子约书亚
Better. My favorite nephew, Joshua.
好吧
Okay.
他想要什么样的冰雕
Well, what kind of ice sculpture would he like?
不不派对不是为约书亚举办的
No, no. Eh, the party's not for Joshua.
是他想给莉兹举办派对
He wants to throw a party for Lizzie.
莉兹是谁
And Lizzie is?
他的鬣蜥
His iguana.
我要给一个爬行动物举办派对吗
I'm throwing a party for a reptile?
当然
Of course!
我曾经为比特西·惠灵顿最喜欢的钱包举办过派对
I once threw a party for Bitsy Wellington's favorite purse.
史提利丹作为现场乐队简直梦幻
Steely Dan played. It was magical.
凯蒂
Oh, Katie.
我有好多要教你的
I have so much to teach you.
这快要结束了吗
Is this going to end soon?
这比我和我老公之间的眼神接触还要长了
This is more eye contact than I keep with my husband.
我全指望你了凯蒂
I'm counting on you, Katie.
你过来
Come on, you.
既然你还穿着你这挖沟的工服
As long as you're wearing your ditch-digging clothes,
跟我去我家吧
come to my house.
我要挪动我的宠物墓地
I have to move my animal cemetery.
我要挖个泳池
I'm putting in a pool.
我真的要替一只西港的蜥蜴举办派对吗
Am I actually throwing a party for a Westport lizard?
凯文快点
Kevin! Now!
-谢谢你凯文 -谢我什么
- Thank you, Kevin. - ‭For what?
谢谢你让我看到尽管我的生活已经这么糟糕
For showing me that as bad as my life is,
但你的甚至更糟
yours is worse.
最疯狂的地方在于
And the craziest part is,
甚至都不是那鬣蜥的生日
it's not even the iguana's birthday.
就是个派对 "没原因啊"
It's a party, "just because"!
你应该辞职
You should quit.
我想过辞职想过很多
I thought about it. A lot.
我脑袋里有很多关于辞职的幻想
I have a whole quitting fantasy worked out in my head.
我只需要一台手提音响
All I need is a boom box,
-一根棒球棍 -以及一台工业风扇
- A baseball bat... - And an industrial fan.
是的我们听过了你为什么不直接做呢
Yeah, we've heard this before. Why don't you just do it?
格雷格很高兴
Well, Greg's happy