美式主妇

American Housewife S04E08

Part 3 Feb. 26, 2020, 11:50 a.m.

体育课后
After gym.
好吧
Okay.
所以你永远都当不了费纳宝
This is why you could've never been the Phillie Phanatic.
你没良心
You have no heart.
给我个P 给我个H
Gimme a P! Gimme an H!
再摆一个ILLY
Gimme an I, L, L, Y!
拼成什么
What's that spell?
费利斯
Philly!
这说明不了任何东西
That...proves...nothing.
有人下新订单了吗
Oh, did someone place a new order?
自从玛丽亚删掉克洛伊发的虚假差评后
Ever since Maria took down the fake reviews Chloe posted...
我们的客户又回来了
Our clients started coming back.
我的宝贝病了我们全心全力照顾它重获健康
My baby was sick, and we nursed it back to health.
所以玛丽亚是本月最佳员工
And that's why Maria's our employee of the month.
你为什么要嘲笑我我已经尽力了
Why are you mocking me? I'm doing the best I can.
爸你有副温柔的嗓子
Dad, you have a gentle voice.
你能教我那个那个声音吗
Can you teach me that tone you use
就是你安抚妈妈当她发现有人在数
to calm Mom down when she finds someone counting
她的购物篮里是否有少于十件物品的时候
to see if she has 10 items or less in her basket?
抱歉儿子但金嗓子不是一夜之间就能练成
Sorry, son, but that honey timbre doesn't come overnight.
我有多年的DJ从业经验
It took years working as a DJ
在我大学的悦耳爵士乐电台
at my college's smooth jazz radio station.
我知道你不这么觉得但你的故事都好悲伤
I know you don't think they are, but your stories are so sad.
奥利弗帮我给扑克比赛的那帮人打个电♥话♥
Oliver, I need you to call the guys from the poker tournament
跟他们解释下那些评论是怎么回事
and explain to them what happened with the reviews.
没问题妈妈
You got it, Mom.
奥利弗拜托
Oliver, please!
这很重要
This is important!
我是真心在回答你
I was being sincere!
这见鬼的嗓音
Damn this voice!
你不是唯一一个跟孩子们建立关系的人
You know, you're not the only one bonding with our kids.
昨天我跟泰勒玩了一整天
I hung out with Taylor yesterday -- all day.
真不错
Whoa! Nice job.
那是我们第一次谈论如此深刻的话题
First time we talked about really deep issues.
她聆听了我的每句话
She hung on my every word.
我觉得有时候她甚至还做了笔记
I think at one point, she was even taking notes.
问个小问题你们是不是谈了
Quick question -- did you guys also talk about
泰勒做了什么让她的社区变得更美好
what Taylor has done to make her community a better place?
对你怎么知道
Yes. How did you know?
因为你被耍了
Because you're getting played.
这些问题都是她的大学申请表里的
All of those questions were from her college application.
我想我只是很开心她愿意跟我待在一起
I think I was just so happy she wanted to hang out with me,
我都没注意到
I didn't notice.
这是最后一次
Well, that is the last time
我们一起玩历史拼图了
we do a historical jigsaw puzzle together.
这会给她点教训
That'll show her.
我觉得不行
I don't think it will.
猜猜谁拿回了扑克比赛的千层面订单
Guess who got the lasagna order for the poker tournament back.
他们甚至想要一个今晚的加急订单
They even want to put a rush order on it for tonight.
天啊那真是好多千层面
Crap! That is a lot of lasagna.
玛丽亚把炉子打着
Maria, fire up the stove.
不对劲点不着了
Something's wrong. It won't turn on.
有人叫煤气公♥司♥了吗
Did one of you call the gas company?
不好意思
E-Excuse me.
你为什么要给我们的煤气管道上锁
Why are you putting a lock on our gas line?
你们在重新装♥修♥后院
You were renovating the backyard.
碰断了一根管子所以要把煤气停掉
You hit a line, and now you need the gas shut off.
没有这种事
That never happened.
谁跟你们说的
Who called this in, exactly?
屋主卡门·玻利瓦尔·马丁内斯
The homeowner. "Carmen Bolivar Martinez"?
CBM
Cbm.
你得承认这是目前最好的名字
You've got to admit, that's the best name yet.
我现在真想揍一拳你的声音
I wanna punch your voice so hard right now.
听着这是个误会
Listen, there has been a misunderstanding.
我住在这里我们不需要停掉煤气
I live here, and we don't need the gas shut off.
-但工作订单写了 -我知道上面写了什么
- But the work order says -- - I know what it says.
上面是错的
But it's wrong.
-但工作订单 -是错的
- But the work order -- - It's wrong.
-但是 -住口
- But -- u202d- Don't say it.
-那个 -停下
- ...the... u202d- Stop.
工作订单
...work order --
我想和你的上司谈谈
I want to talk to your supervisor.
他不在但你可以周一一早给他打电♥话♥
He's away. But you can call first thing Monday morning.
先生我们等不了那么久
Sir, we can't wait that long.
我妈妈和我经营着家庭作坊的生意
My mom and I run a home business,
我们需要煤气否则就会失去大客户
and we need the gas turned on, or we'll lose a big client.
-但工作订单 -你的办公室在哪儿
- But the work order -- - Where's your offices?
因为我要过去把它们烧了
Because I'm going to burn them to --
格雷格DJ在此用香吻
This is DJ Greg, coming at you
安抚你狂躁的心
to calm you down with a kiss.
克洛伊·布朗·穆勒在找我宝贝的茬
Chloe Brown Mueller is messing with my baby,
她要完蛋了
and she's going down.
妈妈你和克洛伊的宿怨影响到我们的生意了
Mom, your feud with Chloe is hurting our business.
哪个更重要
u202dWhat's more important?
伤害克洛伊还是保护你的宝贝
Hurting Chloe or protecting your baby?
现在的话伤害克洛伊
Right now, hurting Chloe.
好吧我要去趟完美之家
Okay, I'm gonna go down to Perfection,
我要用棍砸了她的电器箱
and I'm gonna take a bat to her electrical box.
她把我的水电气健将送进医院
She's gonna send one of my utilities to the hospital?
我要把她的送进太平间
I send one of hers to the morgue.
《铁面无私》的梗
"Untouchables" reference.
我懂了老板
I got it, boss.
太搞笑了
So funny.
玛丽亚你不用捧场我的笑话
Maria, you don't have to laugh at my jokes.
那不是笑话
That's not a joke.
老天你可真是病得不轻
Oh, man. You are damaged.
玛丽亚既然你现在在这工作
Hey, Maria, now that you're working here,
也许我该更了解你一些
maybe I should get to know you a little bit.
你喜欢什么样的男人
What do you look for in a fella?
安妮凯特这是个私人问题
Anna-Kat, that is a personal question.
但你既然问了那我们开诚布公聊聊
But now that it's out there, let's spill some tea.
你喜欢什么样的男人
What do you look for in a man?
我猜我喜欢的人
I guess I'm attracted to someone
不怕分享些让自己显得特殊的事
who isn't afraid to share what makes them special.
只要你对"特殊"的定义灵活
As long as your definition of "Special" is pretty flexible,
我就能解决
I can work with that.
她有什么打算
What is she up to?
如果她是我第一个孩子我肯定会好好研究
If she were my first kid, I'd dig into that,
但她是老三
but she's number three.
我就打算坐在家里期待不出幺蛾子
I'm just gonna sit here and hope for the best.
爸爸
Hey, Dad!
我想着你能教我
I thought you could teach me
你那旧塑封机怎么用
how that old laminator of yours works.
听起来很有趣对吧
Sounds like a hoot, huh?
我在想
You know, I was thinking,
我想修改一下之前问题的答案
I'd like to revise my answer to the question
"哪个词最能形容你"
"What word best describes you?"
好说吧
Okay. Shoot.
我会说善于操纵人
I'd say "Manipulative,"
有欺骗性以自我为中心
"Deceitful," "Self-serving."
等等这些都是贬义词对吧
Wait a minute. That's all bad stuff, right?
我知道你跟我待在一起
I know you only hung out with me
只是为了从我这撬到你大学申请表的答案
so you could pump me for your college application answers.
我在跟你过高质量的父女时光
I was spending quality time with you,
而你却利用我
and you were using me!
好吧我骗了你
Okay, fine, I tricked you.
可我就剩最后一个问题了
But come on. I only have one question left.
别想了泰勒
Forget it, Taylor.
你自己懒散还指望我帮你吗
You can't slack off and expect me to bail you out.
可我没有懒散啊
But I wasn't slacking off!