美式主妇

American Housewife S04E01

Part 4 Nov. 21, 2019, 12:39 p.m.

God, you're so old!
如今你的绩点要达到4.8 会玩六种运动项目
You have to have a 4.8 GPA, play six sports,
发现一门新语言
and discover a new language
才能上一个好大学
to get into a decent college these days.
我们绝不会允许你靠作弊进入大学的
We are not going to let you cheat your way into college!
那看来我只能度过凄惨的一生了
I guess I'll just have a horrible life.
去康奈尔大学拿着六位数的低工资
Go to Cornell, make low six figures,
加入一个乡村俱乐部
and join a country club
但却只有社交会员的身份
where I'll only have a social membership
就因为我付不起打高尔夫和网球的会费
because I can't afford golf and tennis privileges.
如果你认为那种生活很糟糕
If you think that's a horrible life,
那你根本不知道糟糕的生活是什么样子
then you have no idea what a horrible life is.
你应该找一天去流浪汉收♥容♥所♥
You should go to a homeless shelter someday
看看他们过着什么生活
and see how those people have to live.
择日不如撞日就今天吧
Not someday -- today.
你这个势利鬼给我滚去
You are gonna get your snobby ass
无家可归者收♥容♥所♥ 长长见识
down to a homeless shelter and get some perspective.
而且你只能开那辆小面包去
And you're going in the minivan.
你现在是在干什么
What are you doing now?
我正跟我幻想出来的家人享受温馨一刻
I'm having a nice moment with my mind family.
我们都穿着合身的衣服
We're all wearing clothes that fit
彼此赞颂对方的梦想
and celebrating each other's ambitions.
富兰克林敲敲门
Hey, Franklin. Knock-knock.
谁啊
Who's there?
你的臭屁屁
Your smelly butt.
每次都这么好笑
Never not funny.
我还是不太认同你监视安娜凯特
I'm still not comfortable with you spying on Anna-Kat.
我也不太认同你新买♥♥的那条黑裤子
Well, I'm not comfortable with your new black underpants.
那条可以跟我的牛仔裤一起洗耶
I can wash them with my jeans!
我叫你从家里偷拿的啤酒
Hey, did you bring that beer
家长私♥家♥侦♥探♥
你带来了吗
I told you to swipe from your house?
嗯带了
Yeah, I got it.
买♥♥烟的钱你从你妈那偷到了吗
Did you steal that money from your mom for cigarettes?
我们明天放学后可以到树林里
We can go out to the woods after school tomorrow
试试这些东西
and try them.
清洁工会去那里和我们会合对吧
And the janitor's gonna meet us there, right?
当然
Of course.
他还说事后我们可以搭他的货车去兜风
He said we could take a ride in his van afterwards, too.
我们得谈谈
We need to talk.
是没错
Yes, we do.
我们有几个问题要问你
We have a few questions for you.
真是巧了
What a coincidence.
我也有几个问题要问你们
I have some questions for you, as well.
我本来很确定这场对话我们占上风
I was sure we had the upper hand in this conversation,
但感觉真的不是那么回事
but it really doesn't feel that way.
那你们想当面和我继续谈
So, do you guys want to continue this conversation face-to-face,
还是要我对着手表说
or should I just talk into my watch?!
靠
Damn!
你们为什么要那么做
Why would you guys do that?
你们不信任我吗
Don't you trust me?
宝贝这跟信任完全无关
Oh, honey, it has nothing to do with trust.
现在关照你的人少了
We're just worried there's less people
我们有点担心而已
to keep an eye on you now.
妈妈爸爸
Mom, Dad...
我意识到从埃莉医生的课上毕业
I realize that me moving on from Dr. Ellie's class
不止对我来说是巨大改变
isn't just a big change for me.
对你们也是巨大的改变
It's a big change for you, too.
但我不能让你们的担心阻碍我
But I can't let your worries hold me back.
你们希望那样吗
Do you want that?
-不 -不
- No. - No.
如果以后你们再有这种担心
If you ever feel these worries again,
我希望你们能直接来找我我们一起解决
I want you both to come to me, and we can work it out.
别再耍花招好吗
No more tricks, okay?
-好啦 -好吧
- Okay. ‭- Okay.
那我先失陪了
Now, if you'll excuse me,
我要用谷歌♥翻译
I'm gonna have Google translate
把"鼻屎"翻成几国语言
the word "booger" into several languages.
她刚这是把我们拉进她的新时代了
She just brought us into her new era.
你们可以划掉清单上两项待完成任务了
You can cross two more things off your list.
我载奥利弗去了无家可归者收♥容♥所♥
I drove Oliver to the homeless shelter,
所以我学会了把他人摆在第一位
so I learned how to put others before myself,
我还让一个流浪汉帮我编头发
and I let a hobo braid my hair.
把那项也写进清单然后划掉吧
Write that on the list and then just cross it off.
那...
So...
收♥容♥所♥看得怎么样了
how did it go at the shelter?
你说得对去那里真的让我长了见识
You were right. Going down there really opened my eyes.
你看清你非常幸运
To the fact that you're extremely fortunate
而其他人都比你过得艰苦了吗
and other people have harder lives than you?
你真逗并没有
You're funny. No.
我认识到我想进入哈佛
I learned the way I'm gonna get into Harvard
就得做很多社会服务
is by doing a ton of community service.
我要让他们误以为我是个好人
I'm gonna trick them into thinking I'm a good person.
我重回正轨了
I'm back on track, baby.
唯一的烦恼是该选哪一个
My dilemma is which one to choose.
大哥会送餐到府
Big Brothers, Meals on Wheels,
仁人家园
Habitat for Humanity.
我只要选最有声望
I just have to pick the one with the most prestige
又最省力的那一个
and takes the least effort.
目前来说
Well, I guess, for the moment,
你为错误的理由做正确的事
you doing the right thing for the wrong reasons
已经是我们所能期望的最好结果了
is the best we can hope for.
确实如此
It really is, guys.
-好了 -好咧
- Okay. - ‭Alright.
我决定一次就划掉
I decided to knock a bunch of things
你那破清单上的几项
off your dumb list all at once.
第40条
Number 40 --
"为自己的行为负责"
"Take responsibility for your own actions."
我搞坏了小面包车所以我把它修好了
I messed up the minivan, so I fixed it.
太棒了
That's great!
怎么修的
How?
我联♥系♥了几家汽修店
I called a bunch of auto body shops,
然后找到了最便宜的一家
and I found the cheapest one.
第17条 "勤俭节约"
Number 17 -- "Be frugal."
我还想到
And I also figured out
消除车上臭味的办法了
how to get that gross smell out of there.
第5条 "积极主动"
Number 5 -- "Take initiative."
泰勒你真厉害啊
Wow, Taylor. We're very impressed.
你怎么除去臭味的
How did you get rid of the smell?
那味道是从车里散发出来的
That stank was in there, man.
我点了你从上班地方带回来的香薰蜡烛
I lit those scented candles you got from work.
你把点燃的蜡烛放车上了
You...put lit candles in the car?
对现在还在烧呢
Yeah. And they're still going.
已经烧了三小时了
It's been about three hours.
第77条 "学会看表"
Number 77 -- "Learn to tell time."
糟了糟了
Oh, no, no, no!
-不不 -泰勒你干了什么好事啊
- No! No! - Taylor, what did you do?!
泰勒
‭Taylor!
有些人昂首冲进新时代
Some people charge into the new era.
有些人蹒跚着前行
Some slowly limp forward.
有些人可能永远都到不了
Some may never get there.
完蛋了
This is so bad.
我得做出真正的改变
I've got to make a real change.
不能再当个废物了
I have to stop being such a screw-up.
不过也许他们还是能做到的
Then again, maybe they will.
我来看待售的那辆面包车
I'm...here to check on the minivan for sale.
还是有讲价余地的
There is some wiggle room on the price.
我刚把卖♥♥小面包的事定下来了
Well, I just finalized the minivan sale.
250块
250 bucks.
我们只能赚到这么点钱吗
That's all we got for it?
什么"我们" 那是我请人拖走那垃圾所花的钱
"We"? That's what I paid the guy to haul away that piece of crap.