美式主妇

American Housewife S04E01

Part 2 Nov. 21, 2019, 12:39 p.m.

the only ones to blame are the parents.
好极了那我没惹麻烦
Oh, good. So I'm not in trouble.
我应该继续吗
Should I keep going?
我只是在怀孕末期喝了一杯酒
I had one glass of wine in my third trimester,
结果就这样了
and here we are.
老大才离开我们的视线半小时
We took our eyes off of our oldest for half an hour,
就发生了这种事
and this is what happens.
谁知道安娜凯特在没人照顾时
Who knows what trouble Anna-Kat will get into
会惹出什么样的麻烦
without someone looking after her.
安娜凯特会没事的
Anna-Kat is gonna be fine.
更紧要的问题是泰勒
The more pressing matter is Taylor.
她刚把一辆1500块的车搞得只值300块
She just knocked $1,200 off the value of a $1,500 car.
你说得对
You're right.
如果我们要进入新时代
If we are gonna move into a new era,
就需要确保她也进入新时代才行
then we need to make sure she does, too.
我们应该做一张清单列出她要成为健全人
We should make a list of the things she needs to know
-所需要知道的事情 -对
- to be a fully functioning person in the world. - Yeah.
我第一个想到的是...
Just off the top of my head...
我觉得是洗衣服
I would say, do laundry.
通马桶
Unclog a toilet.
缝纽扣
Sew on a button...
如何在脱下
How to shake out your hair
摩托车头盔后甩秀发
after taking off a motorcycle helmet.
怎么了这很重要
What? It's important.
甩甩转眨眼
Shake, shake, turn, wink.
对于泰勒我们的教育一直不到位
We might have failed Taylor until now,
但现在让她回归正轨还不晚
but it's not too late to get her on track.
这门作业我们已经不及格太久
We blew this assignment off for way too many years.
是时候临时抱佛脚了
It's time to cram.
听我的格雷格
Follow my lead, Greg.
现在就是
This is where people
挺过一半大学时光的人大放光彩的时候了
who half-assed their way through college shine.
安娜凯特我为你从埃莉医生的课上毕业
Anna-Kat, I am so proud of you
感到特别骄傲
for graduating Dr. Ellie's class.
为了嘉奖这件事我给你买♥♥了礼物
And to honor the occasion, I got you a present.
我好喜欢
I love it.
不管你什么时候看时间你都会想起我
Now whenever you check the time, you'll think of me.
我会一直在你身边
I will always be with you.
它有什么别的功能吗比如发短♥信♥或者上网
Does it do anything else, like text or go on the Internet?
没有
No.
只是一块让你想起妈妈的表
Just a watch to remind you of Mommy.
所以这是一块只能看时间的表
So it's a watch that only tells time?
还能让你深情地想起妈妈
And a fond reminder of Mommy.
好吧
Alright.
我们芭蕾表演见
See you guys at my ballet recital.
你要去哪我们要一起开车去
Where are you going? We're all driving together.
我再也不要坐这个玩意了
I'm never riding in that thing again.
以前就很尴尬但现在我们还不如
Before, it was embarrassing, but now we're no better
那个在后备厢卖♥♥肉馅饼的家伙
than that guy who sells empanadas out of his trunk.
那肉馅饼太好吃了是他奶奶做的
Oh, they're so good. His abuela makes them.
我们走吧要迟到了
Let's go. We're gonna be late.
我的喝彩花束在哪里
Uh, where are my bravo flowers?
你的什么
Your what?
我的喝彩花束
My bravo flowers.
就是当你们为我喝彩时扔上台的花束
The flowers you throw on stage to me when you shout "Bravo."
它写在我发给你的那封
It was in the e-mail I sent you
在我表演时该怎么做的邮件里了
about what to do at my performance.
就在"别穿睡衣"下面
It was right under "Don't wear pajamas."
好吧我把你设置成了垃圾邮件
Yeah, well, I have you set up to go straight to junk mail.
妈妈《费尔菲尔德报》会去现场
Mom, the Fairfield Gazette is gonna be there.
一条真实的评论对我申请大学很重要
A real review is important for my college portfolio.
所以我要自己骑车去买♥♥自己的
So I'm riding my bike and I'm picking up my own bouquet
多玫瑰少满天星的花束了
with a high rose-to-baby's-breath ratio.
我们不要带臭屁的奥利弗进入新时代
We are not bringing snotty Oliver into the new era.
我以为他长大了但他只变得越来越糟
I thought he'd grow out of it, but he's only getting worse.
我想在怀孕中期吃寿司的危险
I guess the dangers of eating sushi in your second trimester
不只是无稽之谈
wasn't just an old wives' tale.
你从来没读过我给你的怀孕书籍
You never read any of those pregnancy books I gave you.
当然没有格雷格
Of course not, Greg.
西港市政厅
奥利弗的表演十分钟后就开始了
Oliver's recital starts in 10 minutes,
他还没到
and he's still not here yet.
你今天有加葡萄干的肉馅饼吗
Do you have those empanadas with the raisins today?
我们不是那个人
We're not that guy.
所以奥利弗要错过他自己的表演了
So, Oliver is going to miss his own recital
就因为他是个势利眼
because he's a snob.
他最好是掉哪个沟里了
He better be lying in a ditch somewhere.
这是种说法
It's a saying.
你还好吗
You okay?
还好我只是失去了平衡受了点伤
Yeah, I just lost my balance. I'm a little banged up.
需要我载你一程吗
Can I give you a ride somewhere?
不了谢谢
No, thanks.
我要等一辆奔驰或者更好的车经过
I'll wait for a Mercedes or better to drive by.
这没什么大不了
This is no big deal.
我走着走着就没事了很快就能回去跳芭蕾
I'm gonna walk this thing off and get back to ballet ASAP.
亲爱的医生说你撕裂了前十字韧带
Honey, the doctor said you tore your ACL.
你接下来六到八个月都不能跳舞了
You can't dance for six to eight months.
如果我错过了芭蕾招新季
If I miss ballet recruitment season,
我就再也进不了哈佛了
I'll never get into Harvard.
我要把我的膝盖再扳回原位
I'll just pop my knee back into place.
爸把你的钱包给我咬着
Dad, give me your wallet to bite down on.
算了你钱包大概是假皮的我就忍♥着吧
Never mind. It's probably pleather. I'll just gut it out.
亲爱的我很遗憾
Honey, I'm so sorry,
但是你得把芭蕾
but you're going to have to put ballet
搁置一段时间了
on the back burner for a while.
你还有别的课外活动可以参加
There are other extracurricular activities you can do
能帮你进入哈佛
that'll help you get into Harvard.
你只需要一个后备方案
All you need is a plan B.
但我为芭蕾付出了那么多时间
But I put so much time into ballet.
我现在要怎么办
What am I gonna do now?
你会搞明白的
You'll figure it out.
你可以做到的你是奥图家的人
You can do this. You're an Otto!
你说得对我是奥图家的人
You're right. I am an Otto.
这样就对了
There you go.
瞧瞧你抛弃了过去的奥利弗
Look at you, leaving the old Oliver behind
进入了一个新时代
and coming into the new era.
我这一生都在忍♥受着逆境
My whole life, I've been living with the deficit
那就是出生在这个家里
of being born into this family,
然而我却茁壮成长
and yet I thrive.
我就像那些巴西孤儿中的一员
I'm like one of those Brazilian orphans
在垃圾堆里长大却开起了自己的鞋厂
who was raised in a landfill and starts his own shoe company.
你马上要成为那种被监狱妈妈
You're about to be one of those kids in a coma
打成昏迷的小孩了
with a mother in jail.
也许我们可以把"改造奥利弗"
Maybe we can add "Fixing Oliver"
加入泰勒的清单
to Taylor's list.
不这件事我们得自己来
No, we have to do it ourselves.
但我们太弱了
But we suck at it.
就像那时我们想训练安娜凯特睡觉
It's like when we tried to sleep-train Anna-Kat
结果你每天晚上都睡在了她的摇篮里
and you ended up crashing in her crib every night.
那个"神奇宠物"风铃太催眠了
That "Wonder Pets" mobile was hypnotic,
我不敢相信你现在要提起那件事
and I can't believe you're bringing that up right now!
你说得对我们不能互相攻击
You're right. We can't turn on each other.
统一战线
United front.
这是什么
What's this?
这是一张清单列出了你在搬出这个家之前
It's a list of all the things you need to learn how to do
需要学会的所有事情
before you move out of the house.
这是在开玩笑吗
Is this a joke?!
"如何点燃引火火苗如何重置保险丝盒
"How to light a pilot light. How to reset a fuse box.
如何解冻冷柜"
How to defrost a freezer"?!
你会学习成为自力更生的人
You will learn to become self-sufficient.
我不要做这个
I am not doing this.