美式主妇

American Housewife S04E16

Part 1 May 28, 2020, 12:07 p.m.

美式主妇
第四季第十六集
第二顿早餐
Second Breakfast.
我的安全港湾
My safe place,
我可以在这里抱怨丈夫吐槽孩子
a place I can complain about my husband and bitch about my children.
这可比心理治疗便宜还有煎饼吃
It's cheaper than therapy, and there's pancakes.
那两位是我最好的朋友她们会倾听我
And there are my best friends, who listen to me,
给我建议让我不至于驾车入湖自杀
give me advice, and keep me from driving my car into the lake.
我在胡说些什么呢现在孩子们都太大了
What am I talking about? The kids are too big now.
他们会从我手里把方向盘扳过去
They will just wrestle the steering wheel away from me.
我遇到一个大♥麻♥烦了
I have a big problem.
奥利弗比我还高了
Oliver's taller than me.
-你们有在认真听吗 -在听在听
- Are you guys listening? - Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
安娜凯特很古怪奥利弗喜欢钱
Anna-Kat's weird. Oliver likes money.
我根本没提到这些
I didn't say any of that.
是泰勒很蠢的事吗
Taylor's dumb?
不是奥利弗现在比我还高了
No! Oliver is taller than me!
我吼他的时候喜欢向下俯视他
I like to look down at him when I'm yelling.
现在我仰望他的鼻孔对他吼"因为我说了要这样"
"Because I said so" doesn't have the same impact
似乎没有那么强烈的震慑效果了
when I'm staring up at his nostrils.
我懂
I know.
在听吗
Hello?!
我在阐述一个麻烦呢
I'm workshopping a problem here.
抱歉我们有点分心了
Sorry, we're a little distracted.
安吉拉的性感新女友简
Oh, Angela's hot new girlfriend, Jane,
有个比她更性感的哥哥叫查理
has an even hotter brother named Charlie.
我们昨晚去打保龄球了
We went fancy bowling last night.
简打得超棒
Jane scored a perfect game.
查理也打得超棒来击个掌
And Charlie scored big, too! Up top!
你们昨晚玩得很开心
You had a fun night.
很高兴这事聊完了话说奥利弗...
Glad we covered that. So, Oliver --
话说查理和多瑞丝真的很来电
You know, Charlie and Doris really hit it off.
他的确很会放电勾引人
Oh, he hit it, all right.
棒棒哒
Boom-shaka-laka!
你觉得你们会进行第二次约会吗
You think you're going on a second date?
当然啦我们明早要跟她们一起去徒步
Oh, yeah. We're gonna go hiking with them tomorrow morning.
明天的第二顿早餐我们可能会迟到
We might be a little late for Second Breakfast.
迟到
Late?!
孩子的音乐演奏会你可以迟到
You're late for your kid's music recital,
第二顿早餐可不能迟到
not Second Breakfast!
这是很重要的
This is important.
不如你跟我们一起去参加徒步吧
How about you come hiking with us?
-就是啊 -绝对不要
- Yeah. - Absolutely not.
徒步在我的"拒绝"清单上
Hiking is on my "No" List.
不徒步不吃肉豆蔻不吃假到爆的素肉
No hiking, no nutmeg, no fake-ass veggie meat.
但我记得你曾经说过你很喜欢啊
But I remember you saying you liked it.
那是在我知道我被骗了之前
Before I knew I was being tricked.
美味却假到爆的素肉
Delicious, fake-ass veggie meat.
你们好啊在学校怎么样
Hey, guys. How was school?
棒极了
Terrific.
竟然放芥末
Mustard?!
你不喜欢我三明治上的芥末可真是抱歉了
Well, I'm sorry you don't like the mustard on my sandwich.
不用道歉只是下次别这么干了
Don't be sorry. Just don't do it again.
爸我今天超开心
Dad, I had an awesome day.
老师让我们做冰棍棒的手工项目
We got our Popsicle-stick project assignments.
我分到的是做特伦布尔堡
I got Fort Trumbull.
特伦布尔堡建于1777年
Fort Trumbull! Built in 1777!
一个用于保护康涅狄格州的军事工程
A fortification to protect the government of Connecticut!
真是激动人心
How exciting!
冰棍棒手工项目是任何孩子人生中的里程碑
Popsicle-stick projects are a milestone in any child's life.
泰勒还记得我们一起做的
Taylor, remember the Popsicle-stick
冰棍棒布鲁克林大桥吗
Brooklyn Bridge we made together?
不记得
Nope.
奥利弗还记得当年我们一起做出了
And, Oliver, remember we had such a blast
冰棍棒联♥合♥国♥总部有多开心吗
making our Popsicle-stick U.N. Headquarters?
不记得
Nope.
这两个项目我都拿到了A
Well, I got an "A" on both of them.
我该去做些研究了
I'm gonna go do some research.
这一定会很棒的
Well, this is gonna be great!
你妈当年还骂我是怪胎
And your mom called me a weirdo
因为我让同事把家里吃完的冰棍棒都带给我
because I had people from work bring in their used Popsicle sticks.
你知道商店是有专门卖♥♥冰棍棒的吧
You know they sell them at Michaels for, like,
一美元可以买♥♥一千根
one dollar for a thousand.
我还真不知道
I did not.
-嗨 -嗨亲爱的
- Hi! - Hi, honey.
有点心啊
Ooh, a snack!
芥末谁会喜欢芥末啊
Mustard. Who likes mustard?
我喜欢做这个三明治的人喜欢
I do! The guy who made the sandwich!
我拿去办公室吃算了
I'm gonna eat this in my office.
等等回来我们背靠背比一下
Wait, come back here. Let's go back-to-back.
又比吗
Again?
泰勒谁更高些
Taylor, who's taller?
还是奥利弗
Oliver. Still.
该死的
Damn it!
我已经长得比你高了女人接受现实吧
I've outgrown you, woman. Deal with it.
去前院把卢瑟的屎捡一下
Go pick up Luther's poop in the front yard.
你是为我比你高的事在惩罚我吗
Are you punishing me for being taller than you?
没错正是
Yes, I am.
现在我要为你指出这事有多荒谬而惩罚你
And now I'm punishing you for pointing out how ridiculous that is.
今天轮到泰勒收拾狗屎了
It's Taylor's turn to pick up poop.
不可能我昨天才收拾的
No way! I did it yesterday!
瞧瞧谁觉得自己现在可以记住日子了
Oh, look who thinks she can keep track of days now.
好了那这么办
Okay. Here's how it's gonna go down --
这周剩下的日子都是你们一起捡狗屎
both of you are doing it together for the rest of the week.
那也太不公平了吧
That is so unfair!
你在让你弟弟长得比我高之前
Well, you should have thought about that before
就该想到这点的
you let your brother get taller than me.
你简直是疯了
You're insane.
我是三个孩子的妈我当然疯了
I'm a mother of three! Of course I'm insane!
我把我同事们吃的冰棍棒都煮过消毒了
So, I've boiled and sterilized my coworkers' Popsicle sticks.
你知道在商店是可以直接买♥♥到现成的...
You know you can get them at Michaels for like --
我知道我听说了
I know. I've heard.
下一步我们要画个蓝图
Next, we draw up a blueprint.
我需要一打削尖的铅笔
I'll need a dozen sharpened pencils,
几码防水牛皮纸
a few yards of waterproof vellum paper,
再加一袋奥利奥饼干
and one Oreo.
不是为项目准备的
Not for the project.
我今天心情好
I've just been good today.
谢谢你的帮助爸但我一个人可以的
Thanks for your help, Dad, but I got this.
你想一个人做这个堡垒吗
You want to make the fort by yourself?
但我们之前用德国鸡蛋面
But we were such a good team when we made
搭建柏林墙明明合作得很愉快啊
our Berlin Wall out of German egg noodles.
虽然看着跟普通鸡蛋面一样但我们知道那是柏林墙
Which look just like normal egg noodles, but we knew.
我们知道
We knew.
我真是无法拒绝你这副可怜的面孔
I can't say no to that face.
如此柔软柔和的特征
Such soft, delicate features,
跟疾病缠身的老太太一样
like an old, sick woman.
轮到你了你心里也清楚
It's your turn, and you know it.
天呐你大早上看上去就像...
Boy, first thing in the morning, you look like...
就像这些袋子里的垃圾
well, what we're putting in these bags.
有脸说我看看你自己吧
Me? Look at you.
上衣真不错
Nice shirt.
我放屁了那又怎样
谢谢
Thanks.
我去看尼克斯队的比赛时有人对我吼了这句
Some guy shot me in the face with it at a Knicks game.
街景拍摄
等等那是...
Wait, was that the...?
街景拍摄车
Street Pics Car?
我们刚刚被拍摄了照片
They just took our picture!
但我穿得这么邋遢
But my clothes!
我的头发这么乱
My hair!
在街景照片上我们会永远是这鬼样子
We're gonna look like this on Street Pics forever!