美式主妇

American Housewife S04E03

Part 3 Nov. 21, 2019, 12:39 p.m.

Not you guys again.
我们想让你看看
We wanted to show you
你使用一次性餐盘每天制♥造♥了多少垃圾
how much waste you create every day by using disposable plates.
这些是一天的量吗
All of this from just one day?
我原以为会比这多很多呢
I was hoping it would be a lot more.
咬我啊大自然
Bite me, Nature.
我之前还希望不用走到这一步呢
I was hoping we wouldn't have to resort to this.
但现在只能放大招了
We're gonna have to call in the big guns.
「终结者」
"The Closer."
「环保刺客」
"The Environmental Assassin."
代号♥ 绿色[格林]先生
Code name -- Mr. Green.
我的矫牙保持器
My retainer!
这不是我的
That's not mine.
"嘿窥探狂我搬出去了
"Hey, Snoop, I moved out.
既然我已经不住在你家了
Since I'm not living under your roof anymore,
看来我不用再遵守你那些规矩了"
I guess I don't have to follow your rules"?
奥利弗
Oliver!
你知道泰勒去哪儿了吗
Do you know where Taylor went?
我知道但我觉得我不应该告诉你
I do, but I don't think I should tell you
因为她是秘密地来找我的
because she came to me in confidence,
保密性是青少年求助热♥线♥的坚定原则
and confidentiality is a bedrock principle at Teen Help Line.
你姐姐去哪儿了
Where... is... your... sister?
我感觉你马上要伤害你自己或别人了...
I feel like you're about to harm yourself or someone else --
-她在哪儿 -安吉拉家她去安吉拉家了
- Where is she?! ‭- Angela's. She went to Angela's.
如果你要告诉泰勒我屈服了
When you tell Taylor I folded,
麻烦说得好像我顽强抵抗过了
make it sound like I put up a good fight.
首先泰勒背着我去买♥♥了避孕药
First Taylor went behind my back to get birth control,
现在她又搬去跟安吉拉住了
and now she moves in with Angela.
我不明白你之前为什么没跟我说这事
I don't understand why you didn't tell me about this.
因为我以为我可以处理好的
Because I thought I could handle it.
通常当我吼泰勒时她都会妥协
Usually when I yell at Taylor, she backs down.
她这次没有妥协格雷格
She didn't back down, Greg,
我没有其他为人母的技能了
and I don't have any other parenting tools.
不是那样的亲爱的
That's not true, honey.
你的技能还包括公开羞辱冷嘲热讽
You have public embarrassment, sarcasm,
以及坐在他们身上直到他们说出真话
and that thing where you sit on them until they tell the truth.
我以为孩子越来越大教育孩子会变得更容易
I thought it was supposed to get easier as the kids got older.
我也是这么以为的
Me, too,
但现在来看孩子越大问题越大
but now it's just bigger kids, bigger problems.
是啊以前的问题是选择正确的夜灯
Yeah. It used to be choosing the right night light,
现在我有个17岁的女儿
and now I have a 17-year-old daughter
背着我买♥♥避孕药
getting birth control behind my back.
再说一次她18岁了
Once again, she's 18.
我们应该给她办一个更好的派对的
We should have thrown her a better party.
听着我们现在踏入了陌生的领域
Listen, we're in uncharted territory here.
我们在养育一个成年人
We're parenting an adult.
我们得调整适应
We need to adjust.
我不知道该怎么做
I don't know how to do that.
我觉得最好的办法就是静待其变
I think the best thing to do is wait.
让她主动来找我们
Let her come to us.
好的
Okay.
去他妈的我们还是去找她吧
Screw this! Let's go get her.
你来开车我之前喝了半杯波特酒
You drive. I had half a glass of port earlier.
宝贝女儿
My baby girl.
我完全不知道她要去我那里
I had no idea she was coming over.
我跟她说她不能待在我那里
I told her she couldn't stay,
马上就把她带回来了
and I brought her right back.
这整件事已经发展得太过了
This whole thing has gone too far.
你们母女俩需要好好解决一下
The two of you need to work it out.
谢谢你
Thank you.
但我还是不跟你说话
But I am still not talking to you.
我也不跟你说话
Still not talking to you.
求你告诉我你的童贞还在
Please tell me you're still pure.
老天呐爸
Oh, my God, Dad!
我很高兴你回来了
I'm glad you're back.
我也不跟你说话
I'm not talking to you, either!
我不太确定你和泰勒之间究竟是怎么了
I'm not sure what's happening between you and Taylor,
但我希望你们两个能解开心结
but I want you guys to work this out.
看了这些关于青少年求助热♥线♥的材料
Reading all this stuff about Teen Help Line
让我意识到有多少孩子遇到问题没有家人可求助
makes me realize how many kids don't have families to turn to.
我们能拥有彼此真的很幸运
We're so lucky to have each other.
-奥利弗你没事吧 -我不知道
- Oliver, are you okay? - I don't know.
这是怎么了
What's happening?
我的胸中有种紧张难受的感觉
T-There's this tight feeling in my chest.
亲爱的
Honey...
我觉得你现在有共情的感觉了
I think you're actually feeling empathy.
原来是要打嗝啊
That's what that was.
总之如果她再搬出去我要占领她的房♥间
Anyway, if she moves out again, I'm taking her room.
西港联合学校
你觉得这办法能成功吗
Do you think this will work?
如果说有谁是午餐大妈的对手
If anyone's a match for the lunch lady,
只能是格林先生了
it's Mr. Green.
康涅狄格州
绿色先生
你们好啊
Hello, boys.
你们做得很好啊
Well, you've done quite a good job here
贴了各种宣传海报之类的东西
with your little posters and everything.
谢谢夸奖
Thank you.
不如你们坐下歇歇
Uh, but why don't you sit back
让专业人士来处理吧
and let a professional take over?
我们真的太感谢你能来了
We're so grateful you're here.
我们试过了各种方法她就是不肯让步
We've tried everything. She just won't budge.
退下吧
Stand back.
场面可能会很难看
This... could get ugly.
如果你是指你的西装很难看
If you're talking about your suit,
那你说对了
you're right.
你会被我打趴下的午餐大妈
You're going down, lunch lady.
放马过来吧环保怪
Bring it, eco-nerd.
我昨晚自作主张地翻了一下你家的垃圾
I took the liberty of going through your trash last night,
然后发现了一些东西
and I found some stuff, alright.
足以控告你谋杀
Enough to charge you with murder.
谋杀一位女士名叫...
Of a little lady called...
地球母亲
Mother Earth!
太厉害了
Oh, that's good.
是啊没错
Yeah, that's right.
你没有我的任何把柄回收病
You got nothing on me, recycopath.
证物A
Exhibit A --
你乱扔电池
you... throw away batteries.
你知道你这么做会有什么下场吗
Do you know what could happen to you for doing this?
-没有任何下场 -是暂时是这样
- Nothing? - ‭Well, yeah...for now.
但等这变成了法律
But when this becomes a law,
你的麻烦可就大了女士
you are in mild amounts of trouble, lady.
-还有别的证据吗 -继续说回你制♥造♥的垃圾
- Got anything else? - Back to your trash.
顺便说下脱毛行业
By the way, the hair-removal industry
感谢你长♥期♥的支持
thanks you for your continued support.
证物B
Exhibit B --
你把饮料罐放进树叶垃圾桶里
you put cans in the leaf bin.
你的良心难道不会痛吗
How do you live with yourself?
良心毫无负担
Quite well.
周六和周日的时候
And on Saturdays and Sundays,
我甚至会光着屁♥股♥ 醉一整天
butt naked and drunk all day.
证物D
Exhibit D...
等等他是不是跳过了证物C
Wait, didn't he skip exhibit C?
老天呐格雷格别干预他的工作
Oh, for God's sake, Greg, let the man work.
好的
Alright.
你...
You...
竟然把杂♥志♥丢到常规垃圾里
put your magazines in with the regular trash.
等等
Wait a minute.
-你订阅《猫咪周刊》 -是啊
- You subscribe to "Cats Weekly"? ‭- Yeah.
我养了两只猫如果你对此有意见
I have two cats. And if you got a problem with that,
-你可以滚出... -不不不
- you can walk right out -- - No, no, no, no.
我是个喜欢猫的人我超爱猫的
I'm a -- I'm a cat guy. I love cats.