美式主妇

American Housewife S04E06

Part 2 Nov. 21, 2019, 12:39 p.m.

我在这儿等着以防她又跑回来
I'll wait here in case she circles back.
十年前我和孩子们
10 years ago, the kids and I
在为凯蒂的三十岁生日做惊喜蛋糕
were making a surprise cake for Katie's 30th birthday.
被提早回家的凯蒂撞了个正着
Katie came home early, caught us in the act,
然后拍下了这张照片
and took this photo.
连糕点师和摄影师都没有
It's amazing what you guys can pull off
能拍成这张照片也是神奇
without a pastry chef and staff photographer.
这是凯蒂最爱的照片
It's Katie's favorite picture.
所以我觉得几个月后她四十岁生日
So I thought for her 40th birthday in a few months,
情景再现这张照片会很好玩
it'd be fun to re-create this photo.
一个暖心的自♥制♥礼物
A nice homemade gift
让她知道我们爱她多深
to remind her how much we love her.
我加入
I'm in.
特里普原版照片里没有你
Trip, you...weren't in the original picture.
是啊不过我很上镜的
Yeah, but I'm really photogenic.
看[你算]Check it.
我在算呢
I'm checking it.
等我32岁你就41岁了
When I'm 32, you'll be 41.
道具我都准备好了
I got all the props.
我用一个背包和两根安全带
And I made a Babybjorn out of a backpack
为安娜凯特做了个抱娃神器
and two seatbelts for Anna-Kat.
那玩意儿根本托不住安娜凯特
There's no way that thing will hold Anna-Kat.
别这么扫兴
Don't be so negative.
那就不是我了
Then who am I?
我们只要挑个妈妈不在家的晚上
We just have to pick a night when Mom's not home
就可以拍照片了
so we can take the picture.
可她一直都在家
But she's always home.
她就跟奥利弗房♥间那股狐臭味儿一样
She's like that B.O. smell in Oliver's room.
拒绝离开
She refuses to leave.
胡说八道
Fake news.
奥利弗你错了这个肯定能托住她
Oliver, you're wrong. This'll totally hold her.
所以他们要离婚了
So, they're getting divorced?
多瑞丝做了什么终于把他逼走了
What did Doris do that finally made him leave her?
你为什么觉得是多瑞丝的原因
Why do you assume it was Doris?
就像我俩要是离婚
For the same reason if we get divorced,
大家也会觉得是你的原因一样
people will assume it was you.
有道理
That's fair.
你在干什么
W-What are you doing?
我在锻炼身体
I'm exercising.
多谢你逗我开心
Thanks for trying to make me laugh.
你是对的
Well, you were right.
理查德要离开我了
Richard's leaving me.
我在餐桌上看到了离婚协议
I found papers on the kitchen table.
抱歉多瑞丝
I'm sorry, Doris.
我真不敢相信这是真的
You know, I-I can't believe this is happening.
我老开玩笑说会离开理查德
I always joked about me leaving Richard,
可我万万没想到
but I never thought in a million years
最后会是他离开我
that he'd be the one leaving me.
亲爱的我知道这很难接受
Honey, I know it's so hard.
我知道他有外遇了
I know he's sleeping with someone.
但肯定不是某个保姆
But it can't be one of the nannies.
不我又不傻我变老变丑了
No. I'm no dummy, I went old and ugly.
这可说不定
Well, you never know.
奥普拉说过关键的不是小三的长相
Oprah says it's not about how the other woman looks.
而是小三的手段
It's about how she makes your man feel.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
他要是有外遇了那我也搞外遇
If he's sleeping with someone, so will I.
我们今晚出门
We're going out tonight.
你和安吉拉做我的助攻
You and Angela are gonna be my wing women.
我一定要睡到个男人
I've got to find a dude to bone.
不
No.
你好美
You look fantastic.
我要打电♥话♥给多瑞丝
I'm gonna call Doris and lie
骗她我们家有个熊孩子长虱子
and tell her one of our idiot kids got lice
现在我们全家都染上了
and now we all have it.
其实也不算骗她我们很可能都长了虱子
Actually, that's not a lie. We probably all do.
我知道你现在不太自信
I know you don't feel so great about yourself right now,
不过相信我你简直是性感尤物
but trust me, you're a catch.
你要是没戴婚戒
I bet if you didn't have that ring on,
那些男的肯定得整晚撩骚你
guys would hit on you all night long.
你就忽悠我吧
You're just saying that.
那就试试看
Well...let's find out.
凯蒂·奥图你愿意跟我离一晚上婚吗
Katie Otto, will you un-marry me for one night?
我问清楚这是不是表示我可以...
Just to be clear, does this actually mean I can --
不行
No!
幸亏我问了
Good thing I checked.
好了妈妈出门了
Okay, Mom's gone!
奥利弗快下来
Oliver! Get down here!
泰勒妈妈终于出门了
Taylor, Mom's finally out of the house.
把打蛋盆拿出来开始做面糊
Get out the mixing bowls and start making the batter.
我们要精准还原
We need everything to look exactly like it did
那张老照片
in the original picture.
去换上你那件小鸭子睡衣
Go throw on your ducky pajamas.
老爸都跟你说了我和库珀还有事
Dad, we told you. Cooper and I have plans.
我和特里普也有事
So do me and Trip.
那你们的事就只能取消了
Well, you're gonna have to cancel.
我们可能只有这次机会了
We might not get another chance.
没法取消
We can't cancel.
今晚最新的《终结者》首映
It's opening night of the new "Terminator" movie.
我们不去看的话会被剧透的
If we don't go, people will ruin it for us.
不过要是去看了就可以剧透别人了
But if we do go, we can ruin it for other people.
再说你也同意了
Besides, you signed off on it.
你成天念叨着
You're always prattling on
言而有信有多重要
about how important it is to be a man of your word.
难道我们要无视你教过的那些道理吗
Should we just ignore everything else you've taught us?
是啊所以我可以跟陌生网友聊天吗
Yeah. So should I chat with strangers on the Internet?
你被泰勒智商碾压了
You just got outsmarted by Taylor.
肯定很难受
That can't feel good.
也不尽然
Not necessarily.
泰勒和奥利弗今晚别想出门
Taylor and Oliver are gonna be grounded for the night.
我只需要想个理由
I just have to figure out why.
玩阴的
Ooh, shady parenting.
一般都是老妈这么玩
This is usually Mom's department.
你变有意思了
You just got interesting.
太棒了
Oh, this is amazing!
我怎么不早点来玩
Why didn't I do this a long time ago?!
因为你嫁人了
Because you were married!
女士们
Hi, ladies.
我朋友刚发现她要离婚了
My friend just found out she's getting divorced,
今晚对她很重要
and this is kind of her big night out.
所以全场最嗨的应该是我们几个
So our group are the ones who need to have the most fun.
是啊所以只能请你们离开了
Yeah, so we're gonna have to ask you to leave.
不行
No.
我给你五百块
I'll give you 500 bucks.
再加五十块买♥♥你们的围巾和皇冠
And an extra 50 for those boas and the tiaras.
干了
Here we go!
爽
Yeah!
好了谁想跟我搞
All right, who wants to make out?!
泰勒拜托把冰箱门关上
Taylor, close the fridge door, please.
我等下就关我现在手都占着
I'll close it in a sec. I got my hands full.
当你留着冰箱门不关时
When you leave the door open,
冰箱就会觉得它需要让整个房♥间冷下来
the fridge thinks it needs to cool the entire house.
我只是以我的方式在抵抗全球变暖
I'm just doing my part to counteract global warming.
这是在摆态度吗
Was that attitude?
绝对是
Total attitude.
不不我...
No, no. I --
我第一次觉得自己挺聪明
For the first time, I think I was actually being clever.
你被禁足了
You're grounded.
-今晚不准去看电影 -什么
- No movie for you tonight. - ‭What?!
既然你今晚被禁足了
And since you're grounded for the night,
那么你终究可以来拍那张照片了