美国恐怖故事集（2021）

你就是大♥师♥
You are the master.
在这块画布上 你拥有无穷无尽的力量
You have unlimited power on this canvas.
可能我的力量都在这方面了吧
This is probably the only place I do have any power.
在这块画布上 我无所不能
But on this canvas, why, I can do anything.
无所不能 你也一样
Anything. And you can, too.
你也一样
You can, too.
这里可以再加几笔
And maybe there's something back in here.
我想在这棵树上
I want to put leaves
再画些树叶 这样
on this tree, so we're gonna lose
可以省下不少细节
a great deal of detail.
你看这里 他可是久经风霜了
Ooh, see, that one there, he‐he had a rough life.
一身伤痛
Got bent and hurt.
就这样
There we go.
怎么了 哪里不对吗
What? What is it? What's wrong?
没有
Nothing's wrong.
是因为他吗
Is it the painting guy?
我们可以关掉的
'Cause we don't have to watch it anymore.
从这里开始 确认树的远近关系
Let's start here. Decide which tree is farthest away.
- 不用关 - 好
‐No, he's fine. ‐Okay.
那你干嘛一直
Well, why do you keep...
就 一直这样
like, you know?
你父母在楼下
Your parents are downstairs.
他们在看海军罪案调查处(经典美剧)
They're watching NCIS.
他们听不到的 来嘛
They won't hear anything. Come on.
好吧 查德
Okay. Chad.
搞什么啊 凯莉
Jesus, Kelley, what the hell?
我不舒服
I'm not comfortable.
要我说多少遍嘛
How many times do I have to say that?
你每次都有点理由
It's just that it's always something.
要么是你不舒服
You don't feel comfortable.
要么是我父母 这算什么理由嘛
My parents. This isn't special enough.
我们在一起都多久了 六个月吧
I mean, we've been together for what, six months?
- 好吧 你想说什么 - 我想说
‐All right, what's your point? ‐My point is
这样不正常
is that it's not normal.
这又不是什么竞速比赛
Okay, wait, it's not a race.
我们着急啥呢
I‐I don't see why we have to rush it
为什么不顺其自然
and we can't just, like, let it happen.
刚才不是挺自然的吗
It was happening.
刚才不是顺其自然的吗 难道哪里好笑了
It was so happening it's not even funny.
说实话吧 告诉我 是
I mean, just talk to me. Tell me, is it...
是我不好还是什么
is it me or‐or what?
不是你 只是我
It's not you. I just...
我想慢慢来
I like to take my time.
- 你还想慢慢来 - 什么意思
‐Since when? ‐What does that mean?
没什么意思 当我没说
Nothing. I didn't mean it.
你那样阴阳怪气说了一句话
No, you can't just throw that out there
我不可能当你没说
with that tone and then say it's nothing.
你什么意思
What did you mean?
你当初和汤姆·杰尔基在一起的时候
I mean, you didn't wait six months
可没等六个月
when you were with Tom Jarecki.
谁跟你说的
And who told you that?
汤姆·杰尔基么
Tom Jarecki?
好吧 我 确实
All right, look, I shouldn't have
- 是我说错话了 对不起 别别别 - 你知道就好
‐said anything. I'm sorry. I just... No, no, no. ‐Yeah, no shit.
凯莉你干什么 你要去哪
Kelley, what are you doing? Where are you going?
你这样太混♥蛋♥了 我要回家
You're being an asshole. I'm going home.
那历史考试怎么办
What about the history test?
反正咱们得挂一个
One of us is gonna fail it.
你慢慢猜是谁
I'll let you guess who.
凯莉
Kelley.
凯莉
Kelley!
这下我要处♥男♥到死了
I'm gonna die a virgin.
你居然觉得旁边放那个
I still can't believe you thought
快乐画家的节目 有助于啪啪啪
that Happy Painter shit was gonna work.
告诉你九个字 自发性知觉高♥潮♥反应(ASMR)
Four words: auto sensory meridian response.
什么东西
What's that?
一种非常兴奋紧张又放松的精神状态
It's this hyper‐relaxed mental state,
很多人看那个人画画的时候都爽得不行
and people who watch Bob Ross are supposed to get it big‐time.
Reddit论♥坛♥上的人说像是颅内高♥潮♥一样
Guy on reddit said it's like a head orgasm.
活像女用伟哥
Female Viagra.
她怎么会同意看那玩意
How'd you even get her to watch it?
我说这是个游戏
Told her it was a game.
只要那人说一次"快乐的树"我们就接吻
Every time he says "happy trees," we kiss.
本来进展很顺利的
And it was going amazing.
然后黄了
Till it wasn't.
你知道怎么样子才能让妹子特别兴奋么
Do you want to know what makes girls get on the crazy train?
重点不在于放松
It's not about relaxation.
而是恐惧
It's fear.
恐惧
Fear?
不然发明恐怖电影干嘛
Why do you think horror films were invented?
当初20世纪30年代 你觉得
Back in the 1930s, do you think guys were bringing
男人带女的去看《德古拉》
their sweethearts to watch Dracula
是因为他们喜欢看托德·布朗宁的电影吗
because they liked Tod Browning's mise‐en‐scène?
不是的 他们是希望
No, dude. They wanted Lugosi
能借看电影的机会啪啪啪
to give them a chance at some skirt.
恐惧就是关键
Fear is the ticket.
你刺♥激♥一下她的恐惧生理反应
You tickle that fight‐or‐flight response,
她就是任你摆布的玩偶了
she's an oyster ready for shucking.
或者我就不给她压力嘛
‐ ‐Or I could just stop trying to coerce her
等她想做了再做
and let her do it when she's ready.
兄弟 这可不是杀牛用鸡刀的时候
Bro, this is not the time to bring
你想身败名裂吗难道
a knife to a gunfight. Your reputation's at stake.
说句刺耳的实话 恐怖电影现在过时了
All right, unpopular opinion: horror films suck now.
要么是低成本拍出来凑数的 要么就是
They're either low‐rent shit to fill up a streaming menu
能让人看睡着的烂片
or pretentious crap that puts you to sleep.
- 还有选择么 - 知不知道
‐What's left? ‐Didn't you hear
汽车电影院要回归了
about how drive‐in movie theaters are coming back?
美国特色电影院 在空地上立起巨大银幕 观众坐在车里看
那些电影疯子
Well, those film nuts who restored Starlite
弄了块银幕来
are having a screening.
准备放映兔子兔子
They got a print of Rabbit Rabbit.
兔子兔子 什么东西
Rabbit Rabbit? What is that?
影史上最臭名昭著的
Just the most infamous cursed film
被诅咒了的电影
in cinema history.
只在86年放映过一次
It was only ever shown once back in '86.
也许没被诅咒呢 就是烂片吧
Maybe it's not cursed. Maybe it just sucks.
或者说因为放映结束后
Or maybe when the screening was over,
死了六个人
six people were dead.
大屠♥杀♥一般
Massacred.
最开始人们还以为是枪击或者黑帮火并
At first, they thought it was, like, a shooting or a gang fight
闹大了
that got real.
但是幸存者说 是观众们
But survivors say that the audience
突然开始互相厮杀
just started attacking each other.
疯了一样
‐ ‐They just went crazy.
众说纷纭的 有人说是自动贩卖♥♥机里的苏打水
There were all these theories that someone spiked
被人加入了毒品 也有人说是煤气泄漏
the soda machine with shrooms or a gas leak
说是致幻霉菌的都有
or even hallucinogenic mold.
但如果你读过Bloody Disgusting
But if you read Bloody Disgusting
均为美国知名的恐怖主题自媒体
或者Dread Central的文章 你就知道另一个故事了
or Dread Central, you know the other story.
那部电影让观众疯了
That the film made those people crazy.
- 电影 - 对 音画什么的
‐The film? ‐Yeah. The picture and the sound.
让他们的大脑一团浆糊
Somehow, they fuck with the brain.
好吧
Okay.
那你说不然为什么导演被国会传唤了
Tell me why they hauled the director in front of Congress,
为什么最后进了监狱
why he ended up doing time,
而且所有电影的拷贝都被摧毁了
and why they destroyed all of the prints.
或者说他们不知道有遗漏
Or, at least, they thought.
据说
Word is
这次放映的是导演私人收藏
the print came from the director himself.
可能是现存的唯一拷贝了
Could be the only one in existence.