情牵你我她（2016）

You Me Her S02E08

Part 3 March 30, 2021, 11:45 a.m.

at finding precisely the right professional
为每一件事找到我需要的
for everything I need.
最专业的人来处理
It's very true. I can personally attest to that.
绝对是的我个人可以为此做证明
As a surrogate.
作为一个代♥孕♥者
Of course as a surrogate. What else would you mean?
当然是作为一个代♥孕♥者还能是什么
No offense, but...
无意冒犯但是...
Oh, this should be good.
哦这个应该不错
If you two had started working on this at 24 like normal people,
如果你们两个像平常人那样二十四岁就开始做
you wouldn't need professional assistance.
你根本就不需要请专门的人来帮这个忙
We hadn't even met then, so we couldn't have started at 24.
我们二十四岁的时候还没认识所以根本不可能那个时候就开始
No, you or somebody better.
不不是你也还有别人可以
Maybe a man who doesn't pull a hamstring
也许是个跟腱没有拉伤
changing a lightbulb.
换灯泡的男人
That's an incredibly reductive
那是一个高度复杂事件的
version of a highly complex incident.
及精简版本的描述
Like, the ladder was extremely high
比如说那个梯子很高很高
and winds were gusting that day.
那天又是狂风劲吹
Fierce winds. I thought he was kidding.
狂猛的风我还以为他在开玩笑
That actually happened?
那是真事啊?
Could've happened to anyone.
可能发生在任何人身上
That's not that funny.
没那么好笑吧
Glad you all find my
很高兴你们都发现
lack of mundane masculine acumen so amusing.
我不凡的男性表达方式很有意思
"Masculine acumen"?
"男性表达方式"?
Who talks like that?
谁这么说话?
I'm not laughing. No.
我没有在笑没
Okay, after 100 years of marriage,
好吧结婚百年之后
that still blinded me in one eye.
这还是会瞎了我的眼睛
When did drugs become so scary?
什么时候毒品变得那么可怕?
When did they stop being kind and happy?
什么时候它们不再温柔欢乐了?
Yeah. You know, I'm thinking maybe when we added a mortgage
可能是我们开始有了抵押贷款
and a couple needy little humans to the mix.
还有了一对嗷嗷待哺的小人儿的时候
We're grown-ups for the rest of our lives.
我们的余生永远都只能是成人了
Oh, my God, that's fucking terrifying.
哦天哪那是在太他妈可怕了
Okay, so I'm just gonna...
好吧所以我这就...
help you.
来帮你
Gonna put it... put it on.
把它... 把它穿上
Yeah, you don't have to help me. That's fine.
好你不必来帮我的就那样挺好
Just... Just do what you're doing.
就... 就这样继续
Just gonna lift your leg through there.
就要把你的腿抬起来穿进来
That's good stuff. You can put it down.
那边好了你可以放下来了
Thank you. Okay.
谢谢你好了
Always wanted three kids.
一直想要三个孩子的
There we go.
好嘞
In you go, in you go, yeah.
放进来放进来耶
There we go.
成功
Okay, you ready?
好了你准备好了吗?
Now underneath and bottoms up.
现在屁♥股♥抬起来
Yeah. That's awesome.
好的太棒了
Thank you, thank you.
谢谢你谢谢
All right. Wedgie.
好啦提到肚脐眼了
Good boy.
乖孩子
Is this a sex thing?
这算性生活吗?
Absolutely not. Okay, good,
绝对不是好的那就好
cause it's weird and disturbing.
因为这太奇怪太烦人了
And we're just not.
我们就不是
Hmm.
嗯
We're suburban parents
我们是住在郊区的
living in the suburbs.
郊区父母
Who occasionally become redundant?
有时候会变得多余?
What? Never mind.
什么? 没什么
The point is we're us.
重点是我们就是我们
We're Dave and Carmen.
我们是戴夫和卡门
We're exactly who we are.
我们就是我们
You know what? What?
你知道吗? 什么?
I'm going to embrace the predictability of chain restaurants
我将要去拥抱连锁餐厅的可预测性
and the convenience of cargo shorts.
和工装短裤的便利性
I'm going to wear cargo shorts to Applebee's
我要穿着工装短裤去苹果蜂餐厅
and be completely actualized
彻底的实现我的想法
We didn't sell out.
我们没有卖♥♥掉它
It wasn't an accident,
那也不是一个事故
and we don't owe anybody an apology.
我们不需要对任何人道歉
No. Fuck 'em, right?
不欠去他妈的是吧?
Fuck 'em.
去他妈的
Whoever them are.
管他们是谁
Whoever them is.
管他们都是谁
Whomever.
随他们去
Whomever is them.
爱谁谁
Well said, sweetie.
说得好亲爱的
Oh, my God.
哦天哪
Oh, my God.
哦天哪
It's okay. I got it.
没什么的我知道了
Okay.
好吧
Honey, will you hurry back, please?
亲爱的你能赶紧回来吗拜托?
Because I'm still feeling pretty paranoid.
因为我还是有些心慌
I'm looking for a Michelle.
我要找一个叫米歇尔的人
She's got dull brown hair.
她有一头呆呆地棕色头发
She's super plain.
她长相非常一般
She's kind of annoying and off-putting.
是个令人讨厌让人扫兴的人
Hey, anybody? Michelle?
嗨有人吗? 米歇尔在哪儿?
Totally not pulling off scrubs as cute as I would,
完全不会像我这么可爱地洗洗磨磨肤白貌美
that's for sure. Oh, come on, people.
毫无疑问哦拜托你们这些人
I get that she's not exactly memorable.
我知道她不是那么能给人留下印象
Hey.
嘿
Wow, fuck dignity, right?
哇哦脸面尊严全去他妈的了是吗?
Uh well, "A," Fuck you, and...
呃好吧首先草泥马的然后...
"B," I need your help.
其次我需要你帮忙
Can you hear yourself being that stupid?
你自己听听知道你有多蠢吗?
Ow, easy!
哦放开!
Your crazy girl strength is hurting me.
你这个疯丫头的蛮力弄疼我了
Tell me the truth. Did Andy dump you real hard
和我说实话安迪是不是甩你甩得有够狠
so now you just run around cock blocking him?
所以你现在是东奔西走不让他有炮打?
Just give it to me straight. I'm not gonna tell anyone.
就和我直说吧我不会和别人说的
Already tried that, rando chick.
我已经玩腻那些了你这个奇葩女人
You can't handle the truth.
你不能面对事实
Try me again.
再说一句试试
Dude, we dated for like four months.
哥们我们在一起差不多四个月
It's not like he was the love of my life, all right?
我没觉得他就是我命中注定的那个人好吗?
I'm not wearing a locket full of his semen.
我也没带着装满他精♥液♥的吊坠
I was just trying to help you out, you know?
我只是想要帮你一把你知道吗?
Do the woman to woman thing.
做一个女人对另一个女人应该做的事情
What... What the hell is that, anyway?
什么... 不管怎么说都是什么鬼事啊?
The "Woman to woman thing"? We all lock vaginas
"女人对女人的事"? 难道我们都是
and morph into a giant man-eating Transformer?
变身为吃人变形金刚的石女吗?
Okay, I'm still gonna do this,
好吧我还是会这么做的
but now it's just to rub reality
但是现在只是想要把现实
all over your stupid little face.
甩到你那张愚蠢的脸上
What? Hey, we don't need to
什么? 嘿我们不需要
drag anybody else... Jules, get over here.
扯上其他人... 朱尔斯你过来
What's up? Hey. I'm...
怎么了? 嘿我...
No, not "Hey." She's dreadful.
不不用打招呼她很可怕
What comes to mind when I say the name Andy Cutler?
如果我说安迪·卡特勒这个名字你会想到什么?
Oh. I get it.
哦我明白了
You're the reigning Miss Forever and Ever.
你是现任的那个天长地久小姐
Has he swept you away to Crystal Cove yet?
他还没把你甩到水晶湾呢?
Crystal Cove?
水晶湾?
He's got a line on a beach cabin.
海滨小屋外有一长溜的人在排队等他
Roaring fireplace, crashing waves, et cetera.
还有哔啵作响的壁炉惊涛拍岸之类的
If that dude's accumulated one full day as a single man
如果那个家伙成年后有哪怕一天是身边没女伴的单身状态
in his adult life, I'd be surprised.
我都会大吃一惊的