情牵你我她（2016）

You Me Her S02E05

Part 2 March 30, 2021, 11:43 a.m.

在哪个平行宇宙里我是坏人了?
In what version of the universe am I the bad guy?
在你甩给我们两个字
how about the version where the last words
然后就冲出家门的那个平行宇宙
you said to us before you stormed out
那俩字还是"鲁比西瓦尼"
were "Ruby Shivani."
或者在你把自己搞得像个
Uh, maybe the version where you've been acting
受伤的怨妇的那个平行宇宙?
like a wounded Emo meddle score.
在现实世界的真实宇宙里
Meanwhile, the real version in the real world
两个拉拉可是组成了
consists of two lesbians,
一对快乐的同性情侣
a happy gay couple,
然后一个不合时宜的男人出现
who just have this inconvenient dude
一直给她们当他妈的男版的同妻!
who's like a fucking Goddamn beard around them all the time.
我受够你老是提什么同妻了
Honestly, enough with the beard stuff.
在刚刚这半小时里我有一分钟
Was there any point in the last 30 minutes or so
表现得像个拉拉吗?
where I seemed gay to you?
我爱着你啊
I'm in love with you.
看看我我爱你也爱艾玛
Look at me. I'm in love with you and Emma.
老实说我倒不是担心你怎样
To be honest, maybe it's not you that I'm worried about.
好吧杰克
Okay, Jack.
咱们这么办
Here's the deal.
一场撕逼大战即将来临
There's a perfect shit storm brewing,
我是唯一感觉到了的那个
and I'm the only one that seems to notice.
艾玛突然讨厌起了她的工作
Emma suddenly hates her job,
她的灵魂伴侣又一头钻进了
her soul mate's caved out
他大哥这壕得荒谬的豪♥宅♥
at big bro's ridiculous McMansion.
你准备好迎接下面的打击了吗?
And you ready for this?
她刚收到了来自西雅图一间
She just got an absolutely stupid offer
傻♥逼♥大公♥司♥的二♥逼♥邀请函
from some giant douchey firm in Seattle.
所以我求求你跟我回去
So, please, I'm asking you to come back with me.
我再问你一次这是艾玛想要的吗?
I'm gonna ask you again, is that what Emma wants?
我可是还没听她说过
Because I haven't heard from her.
从我搬到这起她一个字也没跟我说过...
Not a word since I've been here, so...
是她跟你说她想让我回家的?
Did she tell you she wants me to come home?
我是说...
I mean...
不
No.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
好吧
Okay.
谢谢你跑一趟
I appreciate you coming here.
真的感谢
I do.
不过我...
But I'm...
对不起你还是白跑一趟了
I'm sorry, that's not enough.
上酒!
Shots!
真棒!
It's good!
喝完了!
Finished!
早上好阳光小美女
Good morning, sunshine.
你好啊
Hi.
我可不推荐现在就自♥拍♥
Oh, I would not recommend taking a selfie right now.
除非那是一种想要寻求帮助的绝望呐喊
Unless it's a desperate cry for help.
我颓废是有理由的
I have an excuse for being cranky.
你的理由是什么?
What's yours?
噢你是有理由的吗?
Oh, you have an excuse?
理由是在凌晨四点醉成一团爬上♥床♥
Oh, you mean falling into bed, wasted, at 4 A.M.
在这之前你还和妮娜像两个大学新生一样疯狂派对?
after partying like a college freshmen with Nina.
什么? 我才没有
What? No.
你有
Yeah.
噢你看起来形单影只
Oh, you look lonely.
让我们再找瓶酒跟你作伴
Let's go find your friends.
哇
Wow.
如果我现在去拿摄像机
So, if I go get my camera right now,
你会愿意再表现一次
would you be willing to reenact
这种悲伤阴暗吗?
that whole sad, dark performance?
因为那正是我所需要的
'Cause that's exactly the opening I need
纪录片开端...
for my documentary...
片名 "白人"
"White People."
白人又怎么了?
What about white people?
人类期望挑战和困难
Well, humans crave challenges and hardships,
当他们越不过这些坎时他们...
and when they don't get those things, they...
会条件反射般折磨自己
reflexively sabotage themselves.
或者死在一座根本就没理由去爬的山上
Or die on a mountain they had no reason to climb.
好想法
That's impressive.
这是听起来像是青少年们说的废话
That's, like, adolescent bullshit,
但是呢也算废话中比较棒的了
but it's impressive within that specific category.
- 说得好小伙子 - 耶
- Well done, man. - Yeah.
像你这样的人的最低潮在哪里?
So what's rock bottom for a guy like you?
你不是应该待在学校或者其他学习的地方吗?
Shouldn't you be in school or something?
打开玛丽的定位这样我就能随时知道她在哪
Put Marie on Locations so I know where she is at all times.
我只是在纠结学自修课还是高数...
I'm just missing, like, study hall or Advanced Calc...
-学哪一个? - 你懂的我不在乎
- one or the other. - You know what, I don't care.
太无聊了
This is so boring.
那些没... 跟我没关系
This has nothing... it's nothing to do with me.
不是我的问题
It's not my problem.
讲真你这堆烂事上需要帮助吗?
Seriously, do you need help with all of this business?
什么烂事?
All of what?
你边抱着马桶边干什么呢?
So what were you doing while you were hugging the toilet
还看着手♥机♥?
and staring at your phone?
我刚才在看日历
I was checking the calendar.
当真?
Seriously?
别担心这只是... 我的经期乱了
Don't worry. It's... my dates were messed up.
就这样
That's all.
你看起来不是特别开心
Well, you don't seem particularly happy.
可通常在你们这个年纪那是一件值得开心的事呀
Usually at your age, that's a happy thing.
你避孕了吧?
You are on birth control, right?
你在暗示啥?
What are you insinuating?
我不是在暗示什么只是...
I'm not insinuating anything. I just...
小依
Iz.
嘿依奇你还好吗?
Hey, Izzy, are you okay?
我感觉糟透了
I got so fucked up.
看出来了
Yeah.
我能看出来
I could tell.
只是...
It's just...
杰克走了但你说他从来不会离家出走的
Jack left, and you said he never leaves.
这就意味着他走了是我的错
Which means it's my fault.
我觉得我无法融入这里的生活
And I feel like I'm an alien here,
我只是... 我只是...
and I just... I just w...
你就想要再次感觉活着
You just want to feel like yourself again.
是啊我懂
Yeah, I get that.
真的很对不起你小艾
I'm really sorry, Em.
这些天我一直都处于一种总是在冒犯别人的混♥蛋♥状态
I've been a passive-aggressive dick these last few days.
嘿...
Hey...
最近我们都在轮流成为那种混♥蛋♥
We have all taken turns being dicks lately.
我门每个人
All of us.
因为我们搞砸了
Because we fucked up.
因为我们进展太快了
Because we're moving too fast.
没人想要就此说点什么
And none of us wants to say anything.
我不知道
I don't know.
你可以向我坦白的
Well, you can hold me to this,
我现在绝对干干静静的了
I am officially on an intense substance cleanse.
呃
Ugh.
是吗?
Yeah?
是的
Yeah.
我们一起解决
We'll do it together.
- 对吧? - 对的
- Yeah? - Yeah.
我知道我现在有口气但你还会吻我吗?
I know I have barf-mouth, but will you kiss me?
不会你确实有口气
No, you do have barf-mouth.
噢兄弟这很像"50度错“
Whoo, man. This feels like 50 shades of wrong.
很快就会变成“31种口味正确”
It's gonna feel 31 flavors of right real soon.
行了在我们开始前你只需要知道
All right, before we do this, just so you know,
我们就这么说一次好吧只做这么一次
this is a one-time thing. Okay, this has to be.
这只是我自己在试着
This is just me trying to,
你知道的来度过这个难关
you know, get on a bridge to the other side.
- 这... - 不要给我面子
- This is... - Don't do me any favors.