情牵你我她（2016）

You Me Her S02E05

Part 3 March 30, 2021, 11:43 a.m.

不不我是说得了等我说完再走
No, no, I mean, come on, after this.
先坐下我需要...
Just sit down, I need...
谢谢你我猜我应该这么说
Thank you, I guess I should say.
好极了
That's better.
是啊谢谢
Yeah. Thanks.
所以你以后会不会去操那个叫鲁比的小妞?
So you ever gonna sober up enough to tap that Ruby chick?
我还是会继续问下去的
I'm just gonna forge on, assuming that
不管你愿不愿意
that's what you want to say.
- 胡扯! - 是的我偶然听到
- Balls! - So, yes, I overheard
盖布和玛利在谈论说你和鲁比在一起的话
Gabe and Marie talking about how much better off
会有多幸福
you'd be with Ruby.
不要恨我在没有构成犯罪的情况下
Don't hate me, I can't call an ambulance
我不能喊救护车
under these incriminating circumstances.
我迟到了?
Am I late?
不没有是我早到了
No, no, I'm early.
呃艾玛塔卡斯基
Um, Emma Trakarsky.
我们通过电♥话♥
We talked on the phone.
对
Right.
是啊
Right.
就在刚才那个职位已经被抢走了
So that space just got snatched.
在你吃三明治的时候?
While you were eating a sandwich?
我能同时做很多事
I can multitask.
我可以问是谁抢走的吗?
May I ask who snatched it?
是...
It was...
约翰...
John...
汉姆
Ham.
乔汉姆
Jon Hamm.
乔汉姆那个演员?
Jon Hamm, the actor?
也许他打算开一家广♥告♥公♥司♥
Maybe he's gonna open an ad agency.
我不确定是什么闻起来恶心死了是你懒洋洋的废话
I don't know what smells worse, your lazy bullshit
还是你身上充满敌意的古龙水味
or the hostile cologne you bathed in.
那是特别为我定制的混合香水
Custom blended specifically for me.
五千大洋小妞就都来上我了
Five large. Gets me laid like a carpet.
嘿!
Hey!
其他五个空岗呢
What the five other spaces?
说来也奇怪它们也都被抢了
Strangest thing. They all got snatched, too.
她知道了
She knows.
她他妈知道了
She fucking knows.
天呐这太好吃了!
God, these are good!
你怎么称呼这种美味的来自上天的食物?
What do you call this glorious manna?
辣猪皮
Spicy pork rinds.
是别称吗还是真的就是猪身上的皮做的?
Is that like a nickname, or does it really come from a pig?
我选择不再去想这个问题
I choose not to think about it.
但它对我起作用了我能...
It's working though, man. I can...
真的有用兄弟
It's working, man.
感觉宿醉已经是上辈子的事了
It feels like a lifetime ago that I was hung over.
嘿不客气
Hey, you're welcome.
所以你真的爱她们吗?
So do you really love them?
她们两个?
Both of them?
谁?
Who?
噢是的当然
Oh, yes. Yeah.
我爱她们
I do.
但你认为艾玛姨妈有可能是拉拉一直都是吗?
But you think Aunt Emma might be gay, always has been?
我不知道也许吧
I don't know, maybe.
大人的世界听起来糟透了
Grownup life sounds pretty fucked up.
是啊
Yeah.
那个大学教授小妞怎么样了?
What about the college professor chick?
只是纯粹的专业人士我们...
That's just purely professional. We're...
只是朋友
just friends.
其实很快就要成同事了
Actually might be colleagues soon.
噢!
Oh!
好吧
Okay.
虽然我才14岁
I'm 14 years old,
但我很清楚你是不可能和你那火♥辣♥的离了婚的前任做朋友的
and even I know you can't be friends with your hot, divorced ex.
好吧你只能假装这是纯友谊
Okay, you can only pretend it's platonic
直到“哎呀我们睡了”的时刻到来
until the imminent "Oops, we boned" Incident.
你有点那种师♥傅♥的感觉
You're like some sort of sensei.
我想我会呃...
I guess I'll, uh...
按照一个呼大了的大学新生的想法
design the rest of my life based on the deep thoughts
来规划我以后的人生
of a stoned high school freshman.
你想让我给你灌输
Yeah, you want me to lay down
一些更隽永的智慧吗?
some more heavy duty wisdom on you?
为什么不呢?
Please, why not?
好吧如果你和那教授小妞
Well, if you and the professor chick
一直没分手的话你现在就会有三个孩子
had stayed together, you would have three kids
并且还会当上汉密尔顿的系主任...
and be the dean of Hamilton High School right now...
而不是和你的侄子一起呼叶子醒酒
instead of smoking away your hangover with your nephew.
够深奥的是吧?
Heavy, right?
是啊
Yeah.
就像薛定谔的猫
It's like a cat in the box.
当然
Absolutely.
等等啥?
Wait, what?
嘿你
Hey, you.
你不应该在学校吗?
Aren't you supposed to be in school?
午餐时间我想
Lunchtime, I think.
是呀
Yeah.
你那东西付钱了吗还是...
You pay for that stuff or...
他们很少在工作日排班
They barely staff week days.
所以你想拿什么就随便拿
You could pretty much have whatever you want.
比如克洛伊·达米科觉得
For instance, Chloe Damico thinks
每隔一星期她就会怀一次孕
she's pregnant every other Monday,
就会拿5个不同牌子的验孕棒去验证
snags like five different brands just to make sure.
- 噢... - 但话说回来
- Oh... - But then again,
她是个青少年但你...
she's like a teenager and you're...
30岁了
30.
- 好吧 - 所以...
- Okay. - So...
首先我没有30岁那么老
First of all, I'm nothing like 30.
- 好吧 - 还有第二
- Okay. - And, second of all,
你以为...
you thought...
你以为我在买♥♥验孕试纸? 为什么?
you thought I was shopping for pregnancy tests? Why?
因为你在看所有的商品标签啊
Because you're reading all the labels.
然而我只是在为大学论文♥做♥调查
Well, I'm doing research for a college paper.
你这个谎撒得太差了
You suck so bad at lying.
我以前可是很在行的
Well, I used to be better.
我觉得我们的人生巅峰就到16岁
I think we peak at 16.
上帝啊撒谎对我来说就像呼吸一样简单
God, it's like breathing for me.
W.W.L.D.
W.W.L.D.
那是什么意思?
What is that?
洛莉会怎样做呢?
What would Lori do?
很简单
Easy-peasy.
她会把你抓住送到你女朋友面前
She'd narc you out to your lezzy life partner.
但我不会那样对你
So I won't.
我会认为这意味着你经期推迟了
I'm assuming this means you're late.
只是... 只是几天
Just... it's just a few days,
还有... 但是通常你可以设一个经期提醒
and... but, normally, you can set a clock by it.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
你为什么要拥抱我?
Why are you hugging me?
因为洛莉不会这么做
Because Lori wouldn't.
我... 我简直不敢相信你会这么对我丹妮
I... I can't believe you would do this to me, Danny.
我有权拥有其他选择他妈的!
I have a right to explore other options, God damn it!
啥? 操你妹!
Yeah? Fuck you!
艹操肏
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck...
拜托你做点成年人该做的事公事公办好吗?
fucking grow up. It's just business, really?
真是日了狗了!
Well, fuck... fuck me!
艾玛?
Emma?
洛莉
Lori.
你生汽车的气吗?
Car make you angry?
是的
Huh.
事实上...
Um, actually...
事实上我在冲我老板发脾气
Actually, I was yelling at my boss.