情牵你我她（2016）

You Me Her S02E02

Part 2 March 30, 2021, 11:42 a.m.

没事儿的
It's fine.
我们完蛋了
We're so fucked.
不是的
No.
我们就是完蛋了
No, we are so fucked.
我的升职也要泡汤了
I'm gonna lose my promotion, and...
我在想什么呢? 我在想什么?
I mean, what was I thinking? What was I thinking?
谁会吓唬小女孩打断她的腿?
Who threatens to break a little girl's leg?
-我们会失去这一切的 -不会的
- We're gonna lose everything. - No, we're not.
-会的 -不会的
- Yeah, we are. - No, we're not.
会的
Yeah, we are.
-我们会失去一切的 -艾玛听我说
- We're gonna lose everything. - Emma, no, listen to me.
听我说你没有工作
Yes, listen, you don't have a job.
-我会失去...-听我说好吗?
- I'm gonna lose... - Listen to me, okay?
吻我
Kiss me.
快吻我
Kiss me
就像是你看见我的飞机失事
like you saw my plane crash,
但是你不知道我已经跳伞了
but you didn't know I parachuted out
直到我出现在你的身后轻轻拍你的肩膀
until I came up behind you and tapped you on the shoulder.
-好 -好?
- Okay. - Okay?
没事所...所以那就是你们之间的安慰方式
Okay, s... so that's, like, a thing with you guys.
我...我也可以的
Well, I... I can do that.
看这个
Watch this.
吻我就像我刚在40忍♥者刺客里
Kiss me like I just went Uma fucking Thurman
干翻了乌玛瑟曼
on 40 ninja assassins,
并且...并且用滑索救了你
and... and zip-lined you to safety.
行了轮到我了
All right, my turn.
吻我
Kiss me
幻想着我俩是宇航员
like we're two astronauts,
然后有一颗彗星朝地球撞来了
and there's a comet headed for the earth.
我们要登上彗星设法转移它的运行轨迹
And we mount it, we manage to divert it,
但是最后一秒时你的鞋子被卡住
but at the last second, your boot gets stuck.
-噢 - 对吗?
- Oh. - Right?
我会说"我不会离开你的亲爱的
And I'm like, "I'm not leaving you, honey.
决不会" 是吧?
No way," Right?
然后响起了空中铁匠的歌♥
And then the Aerosmith song starts playing,
我们停止了争吵
and we stop bickering just long enough
- 恰好够抓住对方... - 对不起
- to grab each other... - Sorry.
额...
Um...
不是大多数的吻像...
So, it's not so much kissing as it is like...
像是在敲打盔甲
like knocking visors.
我们知道终将一死所以摘下头盔
We're about to die anyway, so we take off our helmets.
我们捧住彼此的脸庞
Just grab each other by the face.
就是这样但在任何时候你的头会像是爆♥炸♥一样
Well, yeah, but at which point, your head would, like, explode
因为你正在以百万英里的速度冲出太空
because you're hurtling through space at like a million miles...
- 噢亲我 - 太棒了就像这样很好继续吧
- Oh, just kiss me. - Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
我说我不想知道
I mean, I won't even ask
两个人是要如何转移一颗...
how two people can possibly divert a...
你知道吗?我...我想到了个好的
You know what? I... I've got a good one.
吻我就像是我建造了一台时间机器
Kiss me like I built a time machine
我回到了那晚
and I went back to the night
洛莉·马泽菲尔德的父母相遇时
that Lori Matherfield's parents met,
勾引了她的爸爸还嫁给了他
seduced her father, married him,
花费了5年的时间确认
devoted five years making sure
任何一种版本的洛莉都不会被生出来
that no version of Lori was ever conceived,
在我们的地下室里建造了另一台时间机器
built another time machine in our basement
用20世纪70年代的烂技术
with, like, crude 1970s technology,
然后我终于找到你了
then finally made my way to you.
噢这个不错
Oh, that is good.
真的太好了
That is so, so good.
还是宇航员那个好
Not as good as the astronaut one.
你们能...分开了吗?
Okay, can you guys... disengage?
因为该轮到我了
'Cause it's my turn.
- 吻我就像... - 你知道吗?
- Kiss me like... - You know what?
我舌头要休息了
I'm gonna need a tongue break.
- 她吻完了 - 不你...你们真的很棒
- She's done. - No, you... you guys were great.
-没错太好了 -谢谢
- Yeah, awesome. - Thanks.
好吧但是
Okay, but just for the record,
我真的想了一个特别棒的会是... -嘿
- I had a really good one, so it's gonna be... - Hey.
- ...显然这是今晚最棒的 - 这不是...
- ... clearly the best of the night. - It's not...
这不是个比赛
Guys, it's not a competition.
- 当然不是 - 对不是
- Of course it's not. - No.
这是为了你
No, it's about you.
但是如果是比赛...
But if it was...
- 我会赢的 - ...我会...
- I would've won. - ... I could...
你俩
Uh, guys.
打平了
It's a tie.
我宣布是平手谢谢你
I declare this a tie, so thank you.
- 好吧 - 也谢谢你
- Okay. - And thank you.
- 谢谢 - 谢谢
- Thank you. - Thank you.
我可以接受
I can live with that.
我也可以接受
I can totally live with that.
内心深处你知道是我赢了
Deep down, you'll always know that I won.
- 行了吧她... - 你知道吗?
- Oh, come on. She... - You know what?
你很棒很棒
You were great. You were great.
我不敢相信他们用我们的聚会来宣布他们仨的蠢事
I can't believe they used our party for their dumbass announcement.
在考利身边时我们是不是应该开始注意自己的语言?
Should we start watching our language around Callie?
- 为什么? - 她明年就要去幼儿园了
- Why? - Gonna go to pre-pre-school next year
结果和大家说给我跪舔?
and tell everybody to suck her dick?
我想我们没事的
I think we're fine.
你有没有告诉杰克他就是坨屎?
Have you even told Jack what massive cock-turd he is yet?
宝贝现在才早上7:40
Honey, it's 7:40 in the morning.
我去上班的时候会对他进行彻底的教育
I will give him a thorough castigation when I get to work.
我们是不是应该支持他们?
Should we have their backs on this thing?
不当然不应该这太傻了
No, of course not. That's stupid.
抓狂是完全正常的反应
Freaking out is totally the appropriate reaction to have
当你的邻居朋友要永久的三人行
to your best neighbor friends pulling a permanent threesome.
嘿戴夫?
Hello, Dave?
抱歉
Oh, I'm sorry.
我以为你在进行辞藻华丽的独白...
I thought you were doing a rhetorical monologue...
像一个女人的独角戏嘴巴里有东西么?
kind of a one-woman show thing. There some in there?
我只是不禁觉得有点...
I just can't help but feel a little bit...
张嘴张嘴
Open, open.
不知道也许是洛莉式的
I don't know... Lori-esque.
也许我们变得...
Like, maybe we've become...
... 不酷了
... uncool.
不酷?
Uncool?
你在瞎说什么呢? 我抽大♥麻♥
What are you talking about? I smoke weed.
Spotify每周新歌♥我一直都有听
and I stay right on top of my Spotify Discover Weekly.
Spotify 全球最大的正版流媒体音乐服务平台
我是说虽然最近它根据我喜欢的歌♥手
I mean, lately it has been recommending the Fray
The Fray 属于摇滚乐队，代表作《How to Save a Life》
给我推荐了the Fray
based on artists I like,
虽然有点吵吧
which is, uh, a little unsettling.
我们说我们抽大♥麻♥
You know, we say smoke weed,
但上一次真正抽大♥麻♥是什么时候?
but when was the last time we actually did it?
上一次我们做的即使是洛莉都不会
When was the last time we did something sexual
觉得有一点恶心的爱是什么时候
anyone would find remotely disturbing, even Lori
我们上一次...
When was the last time we even just...
我知道了你是说
Okay, I get it. So, you're saying
我们粗俗还爱批判
that we're provincial and we're judgmental
就因为这个我们... 我们就不酷了吗?
because what, we're... we're not cool anymore?
我们就太土了吗?
We're too uncool?
我们在乎这个吗?
Does that matter to us?
不
No.
不在乎
No. No.
好吧我本来想说是的
Oh, okay, 'cause I was gonna say yes.
- 他妈的我就知道 - 他妈的
- Fuck, I knew it. - Fuck.
也许我们是该注意点文明用语
Maybe we start to clean it up a little bit.
嘿丹妮
Hey, Dani.
还没挂吧女老板?
How's it hangin', boss woman?
抱歉那个... 那个太蠢了
Sorry, that was... that was dumb.