老实说（2015）

Truth Be Told S01E08

Part 2 Sept. 8, 2020, 12:40 p.m.

We were Batman and mustard.
老实说
To be fair,
芥末的超能力比罗宾要强
mustard has way better super powers than Robin does.
别转移话题
Don't try to change the subject.
你照顾不了狗的
You can't be responsible for a dog.
你连棵植物都养不活
You can't even keep plants alive.
你碰啥啥就挂
Everything you touch dies.
我敢赌你的手♥机♥现在就没电了
I bet your phone's dead right now.
不才不是呢
No, no, it's not.
铛铛
Boom!
还有2%电量呢
Still got 2%.
- 哈罗 - 好吧
- Hello! - You know what?
这个话题我们待会再讨论
Let's just talk about this later.
意思就是你待会再拒绝我
That just means you're gonna say no later.
好吧我现在就拒绝你
Fine. I'll just say no now.
但是我已经开始研究狗狗品种了
But I've already researched the breed.
我去
Damn.
借我你的充电器行不
Can I borrow your charger?
我的不见了拜托
I lost mine. Come...
别抱怨啊
No complaints.
- 态度好一点 - 你才要好一点
- Be nice. - You be nice!
- 嗨 - 你好
- Hi. - Well, hello
我们是街对面的米奇和崔丝
Mitch and Tracy from across the street.
我是史蒂夫很高兴认识你
Steve. It's nice to meet you.
- 很高兴见到你 - 那是椰子蛋糕吗
- Nice to meet you. - Is that coconut?
真超高兴认识你们
Wow, nice to meet you.
我是史蒂芬
Hi, I'm Stephen.
哇哦好的两个史蒂夫
Oh, okay, two Steves.
是史蒂芬他是史蒂夫
Stephen. He's Steve.
这是同性关系中的一个
It's one of the problems with same-sex relationships
没人会提到的问题
that nobody talks about.
关于这个我妈都说让我见鬼去吧
That and my mother telling me I'm going to hell.
我在开玩笑她去世了
I'm kidding. She died.
她在那里等着我呢
She's waiting for me there.
她活着好好的呢她住在凤♥凰♥城
She's alive and well. She lives in Phoenix.
好吧谢谢你说出事实揭露我的玩笑
Well, thank you for fact, checking my joke.
她对我来说就像死了一样
She's dead to me.
我们只是想欢迎你们住到这里
Just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood
还有谢谢你们的护肤乳
and thank you for the lotion.
天哪这个味道我们怎么闻都闻不够
Oh, gosh, we just can't get enough of this smell.
抱歉史蒂芬是天然护肤乳的销♥售♥助理
I'm sorry, Stephen is a sales associate for Natra-lotion.
我们家具搬运车上半车都是药膏
Half our moving van was full of ointments.
如果你们想多买♥♥点
And if you'd like to buy more,
我可以帮你们登记一个月份的
I can sign you up for a month...
宝贝我们才刚刚认识这些这么好的人
Babe, babe, we just met these nice people.
也许我们可以过一段时间
Maybe we can just hold off a few days
再来强行推销我们的护肤乳
on the hard sell on the lotion.
你是说用来付房♥租的护肤乳吗
You mean the lotion that paid for this house?
那一定是莎蒂
That must be Sadie.
是啊你怎么知道的
Yeah, how'd you know?
因为他们现在住在劳里大道呀
Well, 'cause they now live on Laurie Lane,
而且他们融入的很好
and they're fitting right in.
以及她用粉笔在人行道上写满了她的名字
That, and her name is all over our sidewalk in chalk.
然后史蒂芬就想知道到底谁是莎蒂
And Stephen was just trying to figure out who Sadie is.
这样我才能阻止她呀
So I can tell her to stop.
说真的
Seriously.
史蒂芬想说的是当我们在欣赏莎蒂的艺术时
What Stephen is saying is that while we enjoy Sadie's art,
粉笔灰让我们狗的鼻窦炎犯了
the chalk dust agitates our dog's sinuses.
是真的吗
Oh, that's a real thing?
很显然
Apparently.
科斯比很敏感的
Cosby's very sensitive.
你给你的狗取名叫科斯比
You named your dog Cosby?
比尔·科斯比 : 美国喜剧巨星
我可以肯定是很早以前取的名
I'm sure that was a long time ago.
是的 14年前我们救下他的时候
Yes, 14 years ago when we rescued him,
科斯比是美国之父
Cosby was America's dad.
我们不能乱改这名字
We couldn't change the name,
但我们确实得丢掉他喜欢
but we did have to get rid of
收藏毛衣的可爱癖好
his adorable sweater collection.
所以如果你们能让粉笔只画在
So, yeah, if you could keep your sidewalk chalk
你们那一边的街道上那真是绝佳主意
on your side of the street, that would be super great.
我只是说说而已
I'm just saying.
好吧要我来说这个
Okay, well, while the floor is open
所谓绝佳主意的话
to super-great ideas...
崔丝
Trace...
是你的狗一整晚都在不停的叫
Is your dog gonna bark all night?
因为这让我们女儿睡不着
'Cause it's keeping our daughter awake.
但她后来一下就睡着了
But she fell right back asleep.
在我们的床上
In our bed.
科斯比需要时间来调整
Cosby needs time to adjust.
也许我们的宝贝能在室内睡觉
Maybe our baby could sleep indoors.
也许
Maybe.
那里没有粉笔
No chalk there.
我们很快再来拜访
We should do this again soon.
- 好很愉快的交谈 - 好的
- Yes, it's been amazing. - Okay.
爸爸如果科斯比是宝宝那谁是妈妈呢
Daddy, if Cosby's their baby, then who's the mommy?
愉快啊
Amazing.
我找到我们狗狗问题的答案了
So I found an answer to our dog problem.
- 我们没有狗狗问题 - 不会再有了
- We don't have a dog problem. - Not anymore.
这是花生花生这是安琪
This is Peanut. Peanut, this is Angie.
安琪这是花生
Angie, this is Peanut.
所以你刚刚单方面决定我们要养一条小狗
So you just unilaterally decided we were getting a dog?
这和你单方面的
How is that different than you
决定我们不养小狗有什么差别吗
unilaterally deciding that we weren't?
不同的是我们现在有了一条狗
It's different in that we now have a dog.
放轻松你知道我的朋友克里斯
Relax. You know my buddy Chris.
他这周在街上表演
He's doing stand-up on the road this week,
所以我告诉他我来照看花生
so I told him I'd take care of Peanut.
看吧一旦你发现养狗有多好
Look, once you see how well this goes,
我们就可以养一条属于自己的狗
we can get our own dog.
真好这就像是赢得一场吃馅饼比赛
Great, it's like winning a pie-eating contest
奖品是更多的馅饼
where the prize is more pie.
别担心我能处理好
Don't worry, I got this.
嘿别再吃这个了
Hey, stop chewing on that.
你会发现我是多么有责任心的
You'll see how responsible I am.
你根本不知道自己陷入了多大的麻烦里
You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into.
你就不能对你的男人有点信心吗
Could you have a little faith in your man?
我是在对狗狗说话呢
I was talking to the dog.
那狗没有在叫了
But the dog's not barking.
也许我们根本不用说什么
But maybe we didn't need to say anything.
也许史蒂芬是对的
Maybe Stephen was right.
那只狗只是需要时间来调整
The dog just needed time to adjust.
还是史蒂夫我已经分不清他们俩了
Or was it Steve? I already have them confused.
是娘炮史蒂夫
It was girl Steve.
你不能这么说
You can't say that.
但是你知道我说的是谁
But you knew which one I was talking about.
是的
I did.
天哪我知道发生什么了
Oh, my God. I see what's happening here.
你很努力的和他们相处
You're trying harder with these guys
因为他们是同性恋
because they're gay.
什么
What?
不不
No. No!
我不想让布里斯家的无花果事件
I don't want this to be Briggs
再次发生啊
with the figs all over again.
而且
Plus...
是的我不想显得自己讨厌同志
Yes, I don't want to seem homophobic.
- 那你喜欢他们 - 史蒂夫一家很棒
- And you like them? - The Steves are great.
他们在马麦斯湖边有个小屋
They have a cabin up in Mammoth
他们说我们随时都可以用
they said we could use any time.
虽然我不去荒地上但这还是很贴心
Now, I don't do wilderness, but that's very sweet.
他们甚至还带给我们一个椰子蛋糕
They even brought us a coconut cake.