老实说（2015）

妈呀 我们是错过了一场大戏吗
Oh, we missed it?
我好喜欢她在的时候你的样子
I love watching you when she's here.
她故意把你气得跳起来的次数
She pushes your buttons more than people who bring
比假装带服务犬进餐厅的人还要多
fake service dogs into restaurants.
哈巴狗根本不能当服务犬
There is no service a pug can provide.
行啦 她最近又做啥了
Okay, what's the latest button?
她跟个通灵师约会
She's dating a psychic.
好厉害呀 我听说通灵什么的是真的
Fantastic! You know, I hear psychics are real.
其实就是盯着无辜群众钱包的情感吸血鬼
They're emotional vampires that suck the money out of innocent people.
那家伙和萨姆还真是绝配
They're perfect for each other.
好啦 就是一顿饭而已
All right, it's one dinner, Mitch.
你就笑一个 啥都不说不就好了
So just smile and keep your opinions to yourself.
对呀 因为通灵师就是猜你想啥
Yeah, 'cause that's what he's known for.
我们也想去吃饭 我猜
We need a invite to that dinner that
我猜这顿饭一定惊天动地永世难忘
I predict is going to be epic.
- 好 - 我和米奇想法一样
- Done. - Yeah, I'm with Mitch.
通灵师这种东西像是巫毒一样啊
It's a little too much voodoo-hoodoo for me.
但是我很好奇我的卷发棒到底怎么了
But I do wonder what happened to my curling iron,
我也不想那这件事打搅上帝
and I wouldn't want to bother the Lord about that.
通灵师其实就是一种表演
Psychics are all about the show...
跟教堂差不多
Kind of like church.
- 你说啥 - 我说啥
- Excuse me? - Excuse me.
今早是我在这里等你的好吗 安琪
I was the one waiting on you this morning, Angela.
下周日 我们能不能统一好服装
And next Sunday, can we coordinate outfits?
因为这条裙子完全不配我这身衣饰呢
Because this dress is not working with all of a-this.
我给拉塞尔买♥♥了一些有机鸡食
I brought Russell the chicken some organic chicken fee.
嗨 歌♥莉亚
Hi, Gloria.
呃 歌♥莉亚老师
I... Miss Gloria.
莎蒂 我猜你♥爸♥爸忘了
Sadie, I think your dad forgot
你是个独♥立♥的孩子 已经可以自己拿午餐盒了
that you're an independent person who can carry her own lunch box.
你怎么知道午餐盒不是我的
How do you know it's not mine?
也可以是你的 男生也可以用粉的嘛
It could be yours, Mitch. Boys can have pink.
这人冷的跟冰霜杰克似得
That is one cold Popsicle, Jack.
冰霜杰克 : Jack Frost 西方民间传说里冬天的精灵
她就是垃圾
She's garbage.
嘿 拉塞尔去哪了
Hey, where did Russell go?
额 我连午餐盒都不能有
Hmm? I'm not even allowed to have a lunch box.
问问歌♥莉亚老师吧
Ask to Miss Gloria.
歌♥莉亚老师 拉塞尔去哪了
Miss Gloria, where did Russell go?
他死了
He's dead.
- 他可能明天就回来了 - 不 他死了
- Maybe he'll be back tomorrow. - No, he's dead.
人死不能复生
And when you die, you don't come back.
愿我的小鸡安息
For my little chicken homey.
先是拉塞尔和安琪在讲上帝
First, Russell and Angie bring up God,
然后现在莎蒂的老师在说死亡吗
and now Sadie's teacher's talking about death?
这周真是每个人都在给我们捣乱呀
Everyone is screwing us this week.
我都已经计划好了
I had a plan.
莎蒂在知道死亡之前要先了解宗教
Sadie would learn about death after she learned about religion,
打耳洞前就先了解宗教
which she'd do after she got her ears pierced.
我都已经列了时间表了
There's a timeline, people.
尊重一下我的时间表好不好呀
Respect the timeline.
老公 方向盘抓的有点紧了
Babe, you're clenching the wheel kind of tight there.
去她妹的歌♥莉亚
Frickin' Gloria.
莎蒂现在不该知道死亡是什么鬼的
Sadie shouldn't know what death is.
她连明天是什么意思都不知道
She barely knows what tomorrow is.
我们去到的时候 你能不能不要咄咄逼人
Mitch, when we get in there, can you not be confrontational?
你乱吼的话 别人会觉得你在发神经
If you yell, you're gonna seem crazy.
谁给你胆子来毁了我孩子的天真无邪的
How dare you destroy our children's innocence?
你还把这叫教育是吧
You call this a school?
你太凶了 老婆
You're coming in hot, honey.
我以前发现
What I've found in the past
最直言不讳的父母
is that parents who are the most vocal
往往都受困于
are often the ones
一些他们未解决的事情
struggling with their own unresolved issues.
对孩子最好的教育
What works best for the child
是实事求是
is the matter-of-fact approach,
所以我们鼓励所有家长买♥♥这本书
which is why we're encouraging all the parents to buy this book
帮助孩子们 让孩子们了解死亡
to help them, you know, talk to their kids about death.
"我的金鱼哪儿去了"
"Where Did My Goldfish Go?"
"歌♥莉亚·尼伯编着"
"Written by Gloria Nieber."
这是你写的吗
Wait. You wrote this?
你把一只可爱的小鸡杀死 就是为了售你的书
So you killed a chicken just to move a few books.
并非她的话如此令人反感
It's not that what she's saying is so awful.
而是她的为人如此让人厌恶
It's that she as a person is so awful.
她简直屁都不是
She's total garbage.
然而我最烦的是她竟然是对的
What bothered me so much is that Gloria was right.
确实 等等 你说啥
Totally. Wait. What?
她怎么对了
How was she right?
也许是我有一些
Maybe there is some unresolved stuff
解不开的心结
going on with me.
整件事总让我想起露璐
This whole death thing has got me thinking about Lolo.
是吗
Really?
但是你爷爷在你八岁的时候就去世了呀
But your grandpa died when you were eight.
正是
Exactly.
那是我第一次失去亲人
It was the first time I lost someone.
正因如此
You know,
莎蒂就会如我当初那样抱有各种疑问
Sadie's gonna have a ton of questions like I did...
这些问题我从没有解决过
Questions I never fully resolved,
这些问题我们不知如何解答
questions we don't even know how to answer.
我告诉你啥不能做 就是千万不能
Well, I tell you what we're not gonna do.
用歌♥莉亚的书
Use Gloria's book.
简直不敢相信那本书竟然卖♥♥35刀
Can you believe she's charging $35 for that thing?
- 卧♥槽♥ 太贱了 - 没错
- She's total garbage. - Totally.
记得提醒我明天把钱带过来
Oh, remind me to bring that check tomorrow.
米奇 崔丝
Tracy, Mitch, thank you so much
谢谢你们要请我共进晚餐
for inviting me to dinner.
严格来说 并不是我...
Well, technically, I didn't...
开动吧
Let's eat.
安琪 这些青豆看起来很美味的样子呢
Angie, these green beans look delicious.
谢谢哦 乔什
Thanks, Josh.
等等
Wait a minute.
乔什怎么知道
How did Josh know
这些青豆是安琪做的
that Angie made these green beans?
拉塞尔 因为 他看到了特百惠保鲜盒
Because, Russell, he saw the Tupperware.
是的 我看到了那个保鲜盒
Yes, I saw the Tupperware.
很显然
Okay, obviously you all discussed
你们之前讨论过我的能力
my abilities beforehand,
所以我想澄清一下事实
so maybe I should just clear the air a little bit.
我的工作并非非同寻常
Um, what I do is really not that extraordinary.
不管怎样 他有收费
Yet he charges for it anyway.
好极了
Fantastic.
拉塞尔告诉我在学校发生的事情了
Russell told me about what happened at school.
"米奇和崔丝" 前情提要...
Previously on "Mitch and Tracy"...
一只小鸡死在了莎蒂的学校
a chicken died at Sadie's school,
意想不到的是
and surprise, surprise,
我哥没法摆平这事儿
my brother's handling it poorly.
他们说死因是自然因素
They say natural causes,
但我更想知道
but I still want to hear the real story
小鸡拉塞尔突然离奇死亡的来龙去脉
behind Russell the chicken's sudden yet suspicious death.
没人会去调查一只黑鸡的死因
Black chicken dies, nobody investigates.
肯定有人知情不报
Somebody saw something.
他想说的是 "莎蒂怎么样了"
Okay, what he means to say is, "How's Sadie doing?"
她没事
She's okay.
对死亡和小鸡她没有过多的疑问
No major questions about death or chickens,
但她一直在把这些事情联想起来
but she's putting it together, Mitch.
她睡觉的时候 她那一半亚洲基因的小脑袋
As she sleeps, her little half-Asian brain
一直在联想这些事
is putting it together.
我们该怎么跟她说呢
What are we gonna tell her?
换作是我会这么说
Here's what I would say.
"我们正年轻"
"We are all energy."
有趣 真有趣