老实说（2015）

Five minutes to walk there.
我需要走七分钟呢 小短腿
I do seven, shorter legs!
有道理
Makes sense!
我们是有计划的人 这没什么不好
We're planners. Nothing wrong with that.
我还是个孩子的时候
When i was a kid,
我就给家里做了一个地震装备包
i made my family an earthquake kit.
我也做过地震装备包
I made an earthquake kit!
嗯哼 但我是在巴尔的摩长大的
Yeah, but i grew up in Baltimore.
让我来猜猜 你是不是童子军
Let me guess. Were you a boy scout?
拜托 那群偷懒的业余爱好者吗
Please! That gang of shiftless amateurs?
那对我简直低级 我组织了自己的军队
They can never challenge me. I started my own troop.
叫做 "米奇童子军"
"The Mitch Scouts."
我们的口号♥是 "时刻多作准备"
our motto, "be over prepared."
你们的口号♥啊
Our motto?
是我的口号♥
My motto.
好 丢到地上 从墙上弹回到椅子上
Okay, off the floor, into the wall, hits the chair,
再由弹簧垫弹到盒子里
Trampoline bounce into the box.
我只是想要它进盒子啊
I just wanted that one thing.
- 大家伙 你们在做啥 - 这是个游戏
- Guys, what are we doing? - Oh, it's a game.
我们拿了一个球 在弹球
We take a ball and we bounce it--
提姆 你应该是被安排
Tim, you're supposed to be organizing
来整理审查文件的吧
the document review for discovery,
艾米 我真的很需要证词的副本
And amy, i really need the deposition transcripts.
我们都有工作要做 好吗弟兄们
We all got work to do. Okay, guys?
快继续工作吧
Let's get on it!
她真逗
She's fun.
可不是啊 她毁了这一切
Yeah, she ruins everything.
我讨厌她交错安排我们的午餐时间
I hate how she staggers our lunches
这样某人就能随时接电♥话♥了
So someone can always be answering phones.
她还建起防火墙不让我查看
Oh, and she put up a firewall so i couldn't check
我虚拟足球赛的排名
my fantasy football line up.
那她不让球进盒子那事又怎么说
What about how she stopped that ball from going in the box?
艾米 那只是30秒之前的事
Amy, that was 30 seconds ago.
那你还记得吗
Remember?
别这样 大伙儿 崔丝很有意思的
Come on, guys. Tracy's fun.
你们只是没看到她工作外的一面
You just don't see her outside of work.
谢天谢地
Thank god.
嘿 大伙儿 崔丝很棒
Hey, everybody, Tracy's great.
我只是假装她一直在我身后
I just assume she's always behind me.
她在我后面吗
Is she behind me?
我一直都是承担责任的那一个
I was always the responsible one.
你知道吗
You know,
实际上我一直抚养我妹妹到14岁
by age 14 i was practically raising my sister.
我弟弟也是我养大的
Same thing with me and my brother.
有时我感觉自己错失了所有欢乐时光
Sometimes i feel like i missed out in all the fun.
我们被抢劫了 安琪
We were robbed, Angie.
我们连变坏的经历都没有
We were denied the experience of being bad,
还有 不止我们还是孩子的时候
And it...it's not just when we were kids.
现在也一样
It's the same today.
是的 就像两周前 我们在艾迪怀德的时候
Yeah, like two weeks ago, when we were in Idyllwild,
拉塞尔和崔丝还在
And Russell and Tracy
我们的照看之下抽烟
smoked out while we just babysat them.
你记得他们多想要爬那棵树吗
You remember how they tried to climb that tree,
而且实际上那还是一颗仙人掌
which turned out to be a cactus?
我帮那个傻子拔了好几天的刺
I was picking needles out of that fool for days.
我已经不想再当奶爸了
I'm tired of being the caretaker.
我就想要能开心浪一次
I want to have fun for once.
要不这样
You know what?
让我们找回我们的童年
Let's take back our childhoods.
- 我们去 吸大♥麻♥ - 吸大♥麻♥吗
- Let's...Smoke pot. - Smoke pot?
对 这是宇宙欠我们的
Yes! The universe owes us.
如果我要做毒品测试
Is the universe gonna pee in a cup for me
宇宙能替我尿在杯子里吗
if i get drug tested?
开玩笑的啦 咱们就这么做
I'm kidding. Let's do it!
我是一个儿科医生
I'm a pediatrician.
你知道我能拿到多少干净的尿液吗
Do you know how much clean urine i have access to?
嗨 崔丝 我可以私下跟你讲两句吗
Hey, Trace. Can i talk to you for a minute?
如果够快的话就行 我有五分钟
If it's quick. I have a minute in five.
流氓弗拉德的话行吗
Is it with Rascal Flatts worth?
由三名成员组成 是一个乡村音乐风格的乐队 以演唱和谐而闻名
是 那就是宝宝我
Yeah, that's me.
听着
Listen, uh...
我能以一个朋友的身份告诉你些事儿吗
Can i tell you something as a friend?
行啊
Yeah.
大家都讨厌你
People hate you.
- 啥 - 这个 是啊 他们
- Huh? - Yeah, yeah, they're--
我是说 他们都在谈论你满脑子都是生意
I mean, they're talking about how you're all business
还有你的无趣 不仅老土还无聊和可怕
And no fun and just not cool, and boring, and awful.
那 不是真的吧
Okay, that's...not true.
大家喜欢我在这儿
People love me around here.
简 算起来的话 她每年圣诞都会
Jane, in accounting, she gives me a jar
给我一个柿子罐头
of persimmon jam every christmas.
柿子吗 那是垃圾水果啊
Persimmon? That's a garbage fruit.
听着 崔丝 我想让他们了解真正的你
Look, Tracy. I want them to see the real you,
我认识的那个 "搞笑崔丝"
The Tracy i know. "fun Tracy."
可我上班的时候不能做"搞笑崔丝"
I can't be "fun Tracy" at work.
我是他们的老板
I'm their boss
如果他们不喜欢我 那也没事
And if they don't like me, that's fine.
我是说 有谁是喜欢自己老板的吗
I mean, does anybody like their boss?
是啊 当然了 大家都爱自己的老板
Yes! Yes, people love their bosses.
那个 "世上最棒老板" 杯的得主
The "world's greatest boss" mug
可在一个年赚40亿的公♥司♥里头呢
Is a $40 billion a year industry.
不 不会的
No, it's not.
以那种消极的态度才拿不到那个杯
That kind of negativity will not get you a mug.
那好 听着
Okay, look.
重要的是他们干♥他♥们的活
The important thing is that they do their job
那样我就能做我的活
So i can do mine
然后回家做莎蒂的妈妈
and get home to be a mom to Sadie.
是 但变得严格
Yeah, but being strict
并不是激发大家积极性的唯一方法
isn't the only way to motivate people.
你知道在谷歌♥公♥司♥他们有电动代步车
Did you know at google they have segways
还有乒乓桌和甜筒机
And ping pong tables, and soft-serve machines.
我们不会买♥♥甜筒机的
We're not getting a soft-serve machine.
但应该买♥♥一个呀 我们这么努力地工作
Well, we should. We work hard around here.
我是想说 像谷歌♥的地方都这么做
My point is, places like Google do it,
根据 "快速公♥司♥杂♥志♥"
And according to "fast company magazine,"
它们都是些世界最顶尖的创新公♥司♥
They're the forth most innovative company in the world.
- 我可以问你一点事吗 - 说吧
- Can i ask you something? - Yeah.
你有一直都坐在桌前工作吗
Are you working on your pilot at all?
那真没有
I'm really not.
我说了吧
What did i tell you?
他们就只问了你几个关于垒球的问题
They just ask you a couple softball questions.
拿到大♥麻♥药方就是这么轻而易举
Getting a pot prescription is so easy.
太简单了
So easy!
似乎没有这么简单啦
Except it kind of wasn't.
有睡眠问题吗
Trouble sleeping?
你是说入眠还是睡安稳
Falling asleep or staying asleep?
- 入眠问题 - 没有
- Falling asleep. - No.
- 睡得安稳吗 - 安稳
- Staying asleep. - No.
有什么消化问题 肠胃不好吗
Any digestive issues, upset stomach?
有时吧 但你知道肠胃问题怎么治最好吗
Sometimes, but you know what's really good for that?
喝姜味麦芽酒
Ginger ale.
不好意思
I'm sorry.
我朋友说我很令人心累
My friends say i can be pretty exhausting.
完美 令人精疲力尽 出去结账
Perfect, exhaustion. Just pay on your way out.
不不不 我还没说完
No, no, no. I wasn't finished.
我们会给你大♥麻♥的 出去吧
We're giving it to you. Move on.
你真可笑 我只用了28秒呢
You're ridiculous! It took me 28 seconds.
你说了啥
What did you say?
老实说 我只是想嗨起来
Look, i just want to get high.
好吧
All right.