老实说（2015）

Interesting. Interesting.
米奇
Mitch?
我想说
You know what?
我们停止这个话题吧
Let's... let's not talk about Sadie right now.
很抱歉 乔什
Sorry, Josh.
最近我们都有点 情绪化
It's... it's an emotional time for us.
当然啦 你失去了你的爷爷
Yes, of course. You lost your grandfather.
久久无法释怀
It's been on your mind.
- 你能给我递过来一些面包卷吗 - 好
- Could you pass the, uh, rolls? - Mm-hmm.
你说的对 你怎么知道...
You're right. I did. How did you...
你知道我的卷发棒在哪吗
Do you know where my curling iron is?
很明显是萨姆告诉乔什这些的
Guys, Sam clearly told Josh all about that.
我从没告诉过萨姆
I never told Sam.
简直不能再奇怪
Oh, this is legit weird.
好好好
Okay, okay.
在你这个年纪谁的爷爷还没去世
But who doesn't have a dead grandfather at your age?
我意思是我们这个年纪
I mean... I...I mean our age.
崔丝看起来多
How great does Tracy look?
你就算不是个通灵师
You don't have to be a psychic
都可以知道他今晚肯定没好下场
to know that he's not getting any tonight, okay?
你应该和崔丝进行一次通灵
Hey, you should do a session with Tracy.
这样 崔丝就可跟露璐说话了
That way, you can say whatever you want to Lolo.
我喜欢这个方法
Love it.
你要知道 媒灵师和通灵师
You need to understand that a medium and a psychic
其实是不同的
are two different things.
但是 没错 我两者兼是
But it turns out that, yes, I am both of those things.
我们还是讨论莎蒂的事儿吧 好吗
Okay, let's switch back to Sadie, shall we?
我知道这不是你擅长的
Look, I know it's not your thing,
可是我在想
but I was thinking
也许我们可以告诉她什么是天堂
maybe we could teach Sadie about Heaven.
你觉得呢
How would you feel about that?
呃 我当然不想让她难过 但是天堂...
Well, I...I definitely don't want to deprive our daughter of comfort, but Heaven...
只是一个让我们在难以面对死亡时 寻求慰藉的方法
Is just a metaphor to help us deal with the overwhelming-ness of death.
我也这么觉得
I kind of agree with you.
- 真无聊 - 抱歉
- That's no fun. - I'm sorry.
难道没人觉得天堂是真实存在的吗?
Did nobody have an issue with Heaven being a metaphor?
真没有
No?
就我一个吗 好吧
Just me? Okay.
宝贝 我觉得他们的意思是 对同一件事物可以有很多种解释
Babe, I think what they mean is that there are many paths to the truth...
比如 东方秘术 占星学 圣经
Uh, Eastern mysticism, astrology, the Bible.
你在把圣经和占星术相提并论吗?
Are you lumping the Bible in with astrology?
没有
No.
是的
Yes.
圣经才是最棒的 对吧
The Bible is great. What?
其实 我想给莎蒂讲讲宗教
Look, I'd love to give Sadie religion.
- 只是 我们两口子的信仰不唯一 - 显然 我们也是
- It's just we're a mixed-faith couple. - Apparently, we are too.
拜托 宝贝 我每个周日都去教堂的
Babe, come on, I go to church every Sunday.
我有纳宗教税 我还有帮忙搬椅子
I tithe. I help move the chairs.
嘿 通灵乔什 我老公会下地狱吗
Hey, psychic Josh, is my husband going to hell?
什么是地狱
What's hell?
你们是要害惨我啊
People, you're killing me.
我很想念那只拉塞尔 他去哪了
I miss Russell. Where did he go?
嗯 宝贝
Um, babe?
我们要怎么说
All right, what are we gonna say?
我们所有的时间
We have about as much time
就是我装满这个奶瓶的时间
as it would reasonably take me to fill this sippy cup.
我还没给她放水洗澡
Oh, I never give her bathroom water,
所以我们还有多余的30秒
so we have an extra 30 seconds.
我们得跟她说一些安慰的话
Okay. We have to say something reassuring to Sadie,
还得让她能听懂
something she can understand.
我们可以用你的信仰来解释
We can go with your thing.
你信仰什么来着
What is your thing again?
如果你非得让我说我相信啥
I guess if you're forcing me to say what I believe,
我喜欢科学和事实
I like science and proof.
我的意思是 卡尔·萨根说过
I mean, Carl Sagan said that extraordinary claims
卡尔·萨根 : 美国天文学家、天体物理学家、宇宙学家
非凡的理论需要非凡的证据
require extraordinary evidence.
她才五岁
She's five.
好吧好吧 那咋整 那就说天堂啊
Okay, okay, what the heck? Let's just go with Heaven.
- 我总是明白天堂的用处了 - 对 就这样
- I'm starting to see the utility. - Good. Great.
- 我们要跟她讲天堂和上帝 - 等等 等等 等等
- We'll tell her about Heaven and God. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
讲天堂怎么能不扯到上帝 那就是他住的地方啊
How can there be Heaven without God? It's where He lives.
就好比你讲迪士尼怎么能不讲到米老鼠
It's like talking about Disneyland and and pretending there's no Mickey
好吧 就有个上帝吧
Okay, fine. There's a God.
- 还有耶稣 - 我的上帝啊
- And Jesus. - Oh, God!
咋了 我的上帝就是耶稣啊
What? My God comes with Jesus.
我准你讲天堂了 准你讲上帝了 你得配合点啊
I gave you Heaven. I gave you God. Work with me!
- 妈咪 - 你听到她喊的了 她叫的是你 哈哈
- Mommy! - You heard her. She picked you. Ha ha.
他们家是用洗碗碟机的吗
Are they a pre-wash family?
米奇要么绝对是 要么绝对不是
Mitch either definitely is or definitely isn't, you know?
我觉得他们是用洗碗碟机的
I'm gonna go with pre-wash.
我现在就... 直接用洗碗碟机
I'm gonna just... I'm going pre-wa...
他们才应该是重点啊 拉塞尔
They were supposed to be the show, Russell...
那个待业的妹妹和奇葩男友
The slacker sister and the freak boyfriend.
我只是发表了一下自己的看法
I made one comment.
他们听见了你的看法
He heard your one comment.
如果他跟我一样
And if He's anything like me,
他会认为你应该对你的宗教信仰严肃一点
He thinks you need to take your faith more seriously.
我又不在乎他的看法
I don't care about Him.
我的意思是...
I mean...
我真正关心的只有你
what I really care about is you.
说吧 我听着
I'm listening.
不用在意我 不用在意我
Don't mind me. Don't mind me.
- 上帝一直与我们同在 - 哦 哪怕昨天晚上...
- God's with us all the time. - Oh, even last night when...
别在意我 别在意我
Don't mind me. Don't mind me.
嘿 米奇 你会用洗碗碟机的吗
Hey, Mitch, are you a pre-washer?
哥才不管
I don't care.
有更大的摊子等着我收拾
I have bigger fish to fry.
不过 我会用 记得叉子朝上 刀子朝下
But, yes. Forks up, knives down.
勺子别迭在一起放
Don't let the spoons spoon.
别在意我 别在意我
Don't mind me. Don't mind me.
事实上我想...
Actually...
嘿
Hey!
米奇 上楼帮忙
Mitch, save the parenting for upstairs.
好吧 现在的情况是
Okay, here's what you missed.
莎蒂她再也不吃鸡肉了 我想杀了歌♥莉亚
Sadie's never gonna eat chicken again. I want to kill Gloria.
我把天堂描述得太好了
And I made Heaven sound so great,
- 莎蒂想去天堂过生日 - 棒呆了
- Sadie wants to go there for her birthday. - Great.
咱闺女现在是个有自杀倾向的素食者了
Our daughter is now a suicidal vegetarian.
我跟你说啊 你刚刚下楼的时候...
I had to say something while you went downstairs to...
阿门
Amen.
- 甜心 - 阿门
- Oh, sweetie... - Amen!
现在 全部人给我出去 因为我要睡觉了
Now, everybody out because I have to go to sleep.
你听到她说啥嘛
You heard the boss.
干得不错 你还是想礼拜天去吗
Nice job. You still want to go on Sunday?
我开玩笑的 看玩笑的
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
我得做宣导呢
Got to do my announcements.
你在做什么
What are you doing?
嘴中圣代
Mouth sundae.
他们人呢
Where are they?
饭厅 别打扰他们
Dining room. Don't bother them.
啊 稍微调查了一下你的宝贝
Uh, did a little research on your Bae.
他因为支票诈骗被逮捕了
He was arrested for check fraud.
是啊 我知道
Yeah, I know.
我是26岁的单身女人
I'm a 26-year-old single woman.
你以为我不懂去网络查一个男人吗
You don't think I know how to cyberstalk a guy?
萨姆 如果你知道 干嘛还和他约会
Sam, if you know, why are you dating him?
因为我只是和他约会 又不是结婚
'Cause I'm just dating him. No one's getting married.
如果是说这只是约炮 会有助你理解吗
Does it help you to just think of it as casual sex?
并没有
It does not.
如果乔什真的能做得到的话
Would it totally destroy everything you believe in