东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S02E02

Part 2 Nov. 21, 2019, 2:12 p.m.

我俩应该立场一致来对付孩子
It's supposed to be me and you against the kids.
宝贝我知道你是个好父亲
Look, babe, I know what a good father you are
你也很爱马蒂
and how much you love Marty,
但有时候你有点过分了
but sometimes you go a little too far
比如取笑他的爱好
when you make fun of his hobbies.
我不知道
I don't know.
现在的孩子他们太软弱了
These kids today-- they're just weak.
我说说他们不算欺负他们
I mean, when I was coming up, it wasn't bullying
除非有东西断了坏了
unless something was cut, broken
或者着火了
or set on fire.
这个我知道
Oh, I know.
我去校长办公室的时候这三种情况都有过
I went to the principal's office for all three of those.
马蒂只是比我们更敏感一点
Marty's just a little more sensitive than us.
是啊可能你说的对
Yeah, I guess maybe you're right.
但他说我欺负他的时候
But when he called me his bully,
我心里觉得很难受
it just really hurt my feelings.
爸我必须道歉吗
Dad, do I have to apologize?
是的葛罗弗当你对别人做了错事的时候
Yes, Grover. When you do something wrong to someone,
你就该向别人道歉
you owe them an apology.
那你给我买♥♥了那种牛仔短裤你得给我道歉
You should give me one for buying those jean shorts.
有什么事情吗
Can I help you?
我叫戴夫·强森葛罗弗的父亲
I'm Dave Johnson, Grover's father.
还是不握手比较好
Probably a good idea.
现在是流感季节
It's, uh, cold and flu season.
你们来做什么
What are you guys doing here?
葛罗弗想给贾斯汀道歉
Grover wanted to apologize to Justin.
你觉得我儿子被一个小流氓锤了之后
And you think my son wants an apology
想听他来道歉吗
from the little punk who sucker-punched him?
贾斯汀没揍他他就很走运了
He's lucky Justin didn't kick his ass.
我还要道歉吗
Do I still have to apologize?
需要我知道你很生气
Yes. Uh, look, man, I know that you're upset,
但是我不认为骂我孩子
but I don't think calling my son names
能解决什么问题
is gonna make the situation any better.
你要是不赶紧闪人的话
Well, your situation's about to get a lot worse
问题会更大
if you don't get out of my face.
我觉得要是我们都保持冷静...
Okay, I...I think if we both just stay calm...
你用不着这样推我
Now there's no need to push me like that.
是吗那这样推你呢
Yeah? Oh, how about I push you like this?
伙计
Fella...
你只差这么一点点就要失去这份道歉了
You're about this close to losing that apology.
马蒂
Hey, Marty...
等等
hold up.
什么事
What?
你明天有什么安排
What are you doing tomorrow?
我要和朋友去摘苹果
Oh, I was going apple-picking with some friends.
听起来很愉快
Sounds delightful.
或许等你搞完了
But, uh, maybe when you're done,
可以回来我们一起玩会
you can come back here, and we can play some
那个《龙与地下城》
of that, uh, Dungeon & Dragons.
我没玩过感觉很好玩
I never tried it, and, uh, seems like fun.
妈妈快出来我觉得爸爸中风了
Mama, get out here! I think Daddy's having a stroke!
我没有中风
I'm not having a stroke.
我是想对你的白♥痴♥爱好表现出点兴趣
I'm trying to show some interest in your stupid hobby.
抱歉这话说得不妥
I'm sorry. That came out wrong.
你是认真的吗你真的想吗
Are you serious? You really want to do this?
当然
Absolutely.
行好
Okay. Great.
谢谢你爸
Well, thanks, Dad.
准备开始冒险吧
Prepareth thee for adventure!
天呐发生什么事了
Oh, my God, what happened?!
贾斯汀的爸爸有点激动他揍了我一拳
Justin's dad got a little heated, and he punched me.
什么你没事吧
What?! Are you okay?
我没事
Yeah, I'm-I'm fine.
他居然揍了你
I can't believe he beat you up.
不妈他没有
No, Mom, he didn't!
爸爸完胜
Dad totally kicked his butt!
太炫酷了
It was awesome!
真的吗
Is that true?
我本不想这样
It wasn't what I wanted.
但我挺屌♥的
But it was pretty awesome.
你应该在场的妈妈
You should have seen it, Mom!
贾斯汀的爸爸给了他一拳
Justin's dad punched him,
但后来爸爸给了他好几下这个
but then Dad gave him a couple of these.
然后贾斯汀的爸爸就倒地了
And then Justin's dad went down.
然后爸爸说...
And then Dad said...
葛罗弗回你屋去
Grover, please, go to your room.
不不不他不是这么说的
No-no-no-no-no, that's not what he said.
脏话比这多多了
There were way more curse words.
好了够了
Okay, you know what?
葛罗弗妈妈说得对回你屋去
Grover, Mom's right. Go to your room.
好吧我不想再惹麻烦了
Okay. Okay, I don't want any trouble.
不敢相信你去打架了
I can't believe you got into a fight.
还当着儿子的面
In front of our son?
我知道对不起
I know. I'm sorry.
但如果有人太过分了
But if someone pushes you too far,
到某种程度
at some point...
你只能还击
you have to push back.
每个人都有忍♥耐极限
Every man has his breaking point.
这是我听过的最荒谬...
That's the most ridiculous thing I've...
你是跟卡尔文学的吗
Did you get that from Calvin?
不是
No.
好吧是的
Okay, yes.
戴夫我是校长
Dave, I'm the school principal.
你知道这样会让别人怎么看我吗
Do you know how this makes me look?
是他先动手的
He started it.
不是吧戴夫那就是你的借口
Really, Dave? That's your excuse?
早就告诉葛罗弗这么说没用了
Told Grover that wouldn't work.
咱们开始吧
All right! Let's do this.
等下马尔科姆也要玩
Hold on, Malcolm's playing, too?
没想到你喜欢这个游戏
I didn't know you liked this game.
我不喜欢
I don't.
但你掀桌怒冲出门时我想在场
But I want to be here when you flip the table and storm out.
听着我不懂规矩
Look, I don't know the rules,
但有没有办法能让我把他送去喂龙
but is there any way I can feed him to a dragon?
在阿尔科巴的地精城♥堡♥一切皆有可能
Well, all things are possible in the Goblin Castle of Alkobar.
天呐要掀桌了
Oh, boy, here comes the table.
这游戏要玩多久
So, how long is this game gon' take?
二十分钟半小时
20 minutes? Half hour?
不不过如果我们搞快点
Oh, no. But if we hustle,
半天就能玩完
we can do it in half a day.
半天
Half a day?
好像有点有趣过头了
Wow, that's almost like too much fun.
开始吧
Okay. So, let's get right to it.
我已经给你们俩建好角色了
I already created characters for you both.
-马尔科姆 -在
- Malcolm. - Yes.
你是影牙一个精灵战士
You are Shadow Fang, a fighter elf.
你是这个小不点精灵
You're a little tiny-ass elf!
事实上爸
Actually, Dad,
觉得精灵都很矮小是个误区
it's a common misconception that elves are little.
其实它们都很高大
They're actually known for being tall
精瘦而且极其敏捷
and lean and extremely dexterous.
好吧这样的话我猜我也是个精灵
Okay. Well, in that case, I guess I'm an elf, too.
太迟了你是小不点矮人
It's too late. You a tiny-ass dwarf.
而且我的名字叫格朗普金
And my name is Galumpkin?
没错伟大的格朗普金矮人之王
Yes! Galumpkin the Great, king of the dwarves.
你是八级野蛮人
You're an eighth-level barbarian
用魔法战斧作战
who fights with an enchanted battle ax.
不错嘛
Well, all right! Okay.
那你是什么马蒂
All right, so, who you gonna be, Marty?
不我不是游戏角色
Oh, no, I'm not one of the characters.