东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S02E20

Part 3 May 15, 2020, 7:41 a.m.

我去隔壁看看杰玛
Well, I'm gonna pop over to see Gemma,
然后去趟超♥市♥
then head to the market.
今晚我要给你做特别大餐
I am making you a special dinner tonight.
我们要庆祝什么
What's the occasion?
庆祝你
You are.
你为了让我开心放弃了按♥摩♥椅
You know, you giving up your massage chair
这让我再次意识到
just to make me happy just reminded me
有你这样的老公我太幸运了
of how lucky I am to have a husband like you.
老爹
Wow, Pop.
你看妈妈多么无私
Look how selfless Mom is being.
她一定是跟你学的
She must've learned that from you.
回见
I'll see you later.
现在你什么感受
How you feel now?
糟透了
Terrible.
我坐在按♥摩♥椅上
I'm sitting in a massage chair.
今晚吃特别大餐
I'm getting a special dinner.
我老婆爱我
My wife loves me.
为什么好事都让我碰上了
Why does everything happen to me?
-缇娜 -妹子
- Hey, Tina. - Hey, girl.
我过来...
I just stopped by to--
要命了杰玛
Damn, Gemma!
你家墙上怎么有头牛
Why is there a cow on your wall?
戴夫坚持要把它挂起来
Dave insisted on putting it up.
要不是空间都被占了
If there was any room next to it,
我就把他的脑袋也挂上去了
I'd put his head up there.
你这么讨厌它
Well, if you hate it so much,
那就让戴夫把它取下来
then tell him to take it down.
我说了结果他指责我♥操♥纵他
I did, and he accused me of being manipulative.
他终于看穿了
So he figured it out.
看穿什么
Figured what out?
你有时候套路他
That you manipulate him sometimes.
我才没有
I do not.
没事杰玛
It's okay, Gemma.
好老婆都这样
All good wives do.
我们就是这样让老公以为是他们说了算
It's how we let our husbands think they're in charge.
大家都这么说的
You know what they say--
妻子卑鄙生活美满
sneaky wife, happy life.
太扯了
That's ridiculous.
一点不扯
No, it's not.
实际上我现在就在
In fact, I am manipulating Calvin
套路卡尔文
right now.
-真的吗 -当然
- You are? - Yeah.
我们拿到退税他试图耍心机
He tried to be slick with our tax refund,
但我早就识破了
but I saw his ass coming.
现在他正坐在崭新的按♥摩♥椅上
Right now, he's in his brand-new massage chair
感觉自己是史上最恶劣的老公
feeling like the worst husband ever.
唯一能让他好受的事
And the only thing that's gonna make him feel better
就是带我去意大利
is taking me to Italy.
长鼻子匹诺曹的家
Home of Pinocchio,
又一个以为自己是真人的木偶
another puppet who thought he was a real boy.
缇娜这也太坏心眼了
Tina, that's terrible.
你觉得这招我能用吗
Do you think it would work for me?
不现在你只剩一件事能做了
Nah. At this point, there's only one thing you can do.
你得找一样他痛恨的东西
You got to find something that he hates
程度和你痛恨这蠢东西相当
just as much as you hate that stupid thing.
还真有一样东西
Well, there is one thing he absolutely hates
是他深恶痛绝的
more than anything in the world.
这就对了
See? There you go.
这才是好老婆的思路
Now you're thinking like a good wife.
你们做什么呢
Hey, what are you guys doing?
老爹改主意了
Pop had a change of heart.
对我要把按♥摩♥椅退了
Yeah, I'm returning the chair.
什么
What?!
我改主意了宝贝我要带你去意大利
I changed my mind, babe. I'm taking you to Italy.
真是万万没想到
Now, t-this is coming out of left field.
明知道你为我放弃了心愿
You know, I just couldn't accept this chair
我坐在这按♥摩♥椅上良心不安
knowing that you gave up what you wanted for me.
宝贝我觉得你不该这么做
Baby, I don't, I don't think you should be doing this.
缇娜家里我说了算
Tina, I'm in charge here.
我说我们去意大利
And we are going to Italy.
好吧
Okay.
你知道我最爱掌控一切的男人
You know I love a man who's in control.
我太激动了
I am so excited.
我这就把菜收好然后订下那家酒店
I'm-a put these groceries away and then book that hotel.
我是说物色酒店
I mean, look at hotels.
那可是个好女人小子
That's a good woman right there, boy.
杰玛
Gemma!
亲爱的怎么了
Hey, sweetie, what's up?
你姑姑的鬼娃娃怎么会在这里
What is your aunt's creepy doll collection doing down here?
我在阁楼
Well, I was up in the attic
看见了它们
and I came across them and I thought,
我想着放在客厅应该挺好看的
"These would look great in the living room," you know?
你知道我害怕这些娃娃
You know that these dolls freak me out.
你敢保证至少一半的娃娃
Are you honestly gonna tell me that at least half of them
没有杀它们的主人吗
didn't kill their owners?
你不把那玩意拿下来我就不收娃娃
Well, they're not going anywhere until you take that thing down.
好吧干得漂亮杰玛
Okay, all right. Nice try, Gemma.
但这行不通因为你犯了个典型错误
But it's not gonna work, because you made a classic mistake.
-什么 -你居然让娃娃参加驼鹿大战
- What? - You brought dolls to a moose fight.
如果你觉得我错了那你一定忘了
If you think I made a mistake, you must have forgotten about...
埃莉诺
...Eleanor.
埃莉诺
Eleanor.
在她面前说话要当心戴夫
I'd be careful what you say in front of her, Dave.
你知道她会多生气
You know how mad she gets.
杰玛我是认真的我不害怕打娃娃
Gemma, I'm serious. I'm not afraid to hit a doll.
一起玩吧
Whee, let's play!
不
No!
戴夫
Uh-oh, Dave.
你伤害了埃莉诺的朋友
You hurt Eleanor's friend.
你最好小心点[抠出一只眼睛]
You better keep an eye out.
就像她一样
Just like she does.
杰玛我不会把驼鹿头拿下来的
Gemma, I'm not taking that moose head down.
什么
What was that?
埃莉诺说她害怕驼鹿
Well, Eleanor told me she's afraid of it,
所以她得和我们一起睡
so she's gonna have to sleep with us.
好吧
Fine!
好吧我把鹿头拿下来
Fine! I'll take the moose head down.
谢谢
Thank you.
但你要知道我说的没错
Yeah, but just so you know, I'm n-- I'm not making this up.
家里老是你做主
You make all the decisions for us.
才没有
That is not true.
有你说出一个我在这个家做的主
Yes, it is. Name one decision that I've made around here.
电视是你选的
You picked the TV.
不我想要更大的屏幕
Nope. I wanted a bigger screen.
好吧沙发是你选的
Okay. You picked the couch.
不我想要皮的
No, I wanted leather.
你说我可以坐在棒球手套上
You said that I could sit on my baseball glove.
好吧这个俗气的台灯呢
Okay, well, what about this tacky lamp?
一定是你选的
You must have picked that.
那是你妈妈送你的结婚礼物
That was a wedding gift from your mother.
我还挺喜欢的
I actually kind of like it.
天哪
Oh, my God.
一直都是我做主吗
Do I really make all the decisions for us?
拥抱时躺在前面好像都不是我选的
Sometimes I wonder if I even picked little spoon.
亲爱的
Oh, sweetie.
我都没意识到我这么过分
I had no idea I was doing that to you.
我很抱歉
I am so sorry.
没关系我也没意识到
It-It's okay, I-I didn't realize you were, either.
你就是这么厉害
That's how good you are.
好吧现在我发现了
Okay, well, now that I know,