东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S02E22

Part 3 May 15, 2020, 7:42 a.m.

爸戴夫是你的朋友
Dad, Dave is your friend.
你知道他不是种族主义者
You know he's not racist.
我知道
I know that.
但我能怎么办
But what am I supposed to do?
看过那张照片的人都以为他是种族主义者
Everyone who's seen that picture already thinks he is.
所以我们才要帮助他
Which is exactly why we need to help him.
因为没有人比黑人更了解
Because nobody knows better than black people
被贴上你没有的标签是多么痛苦
how painful it is to be labeled as something that you're not.
对吧老爹
Right, Pop?
该死马尔科姆
Damn it, Malcolm.
现在我只能拨乱反正了
Now I got to do the right thing.
都怪你
And that's on you.
我不敢相信以赛亚会这么做
I can't believe Isaiah would do this.
和他握手才不像奶油般的拥抱
His handshake isn't like a buttery hug.
而像
It's like a...
可恶还是像奶油般的拥抱
Damn it! It is like a buttery hug!
以其人之道还治其人之身
Well, two can play at this game.
我要在以赛亚身上挖些黑历史
I'm gonna dig up some dirt on Isaiah
-给他点颜色瞧瞧 -什么黑历史
- and see how he likes it. - What dirt?
比如他不干实事
Like how he never does anything
或者对妻子不忠
or is cheating on his wife
或者挪用市政♥府♥数百万美元
or how he embezzled millions of dollars from the city.
你在网上找到了
You found that online?
没有我要发到网上
No, I'm putting it there.
杰玛
Gemma,
我们不能像他一样低级
we are not gonna stoop to his level.
我们要面对事实
Look, we just have to face facts.
我没戏了
I'm done.
别说这种话
Don't talk like that.
你这辈子从没放弃过战斗
You have never backed down from a fight in your life.
即使我的脱衣舞♥女♥表妹在奶奶生日时偷袭你
Not even when my stripper cousins jumped you at Nana's birthday.
是啊太狠了
Yeah, that was no joke.
斑比朝我的眼睛狂扔亮片
Bambi threw glitter right in my eyes.
杰玛
Hey, Gemma.
戴夫
Hey, Dave.
你是来说"我说吧"的吗
Are you here to say "I told you so"?
不是
I wasn't.
但既然你提了
But now that you mention it,
好像是挺爽的
it does feel right, doesn't it?
别费心了
Well, don't bother.
很明显我只能退出竞选了
I think it's pretty obvious that I have to drop out of the race.
卡尔文劝劝他吧
Oh, Calvin, please talk some sense into him.
我上楼了
I'll be upstairs.
你不会散布以赛亚的假新闻吧
You're not gonna go post lies about Isaiah, are you?
现在不会了
Well, not anymore.
你来干什么
So what do you want?
听着
Look,
我知道我告诉过你不应该竞选
I know I told you that you shouldn't run,
但我也不想看到你这么消沉
but I don't want to see you go down like this.
既然以赛亚喜欢玩阴的
If Isaiah's willing to stoop this low, then,
那我们的社区确实需要一些改变
clearly, we need some change around here.
所以我准备投给你
Which is why you have my vote.
除非排队投你的人太多
Unless that line is too long. Yeah.
所以你要帮我吗
So you're gonna help me?
嗯
Yes.
但是首先我们得弄清楚
But, first, we need to find out
以赛亚还有没有你的黑历史
if Isaiah has any more dirt on you.
比如万圣节
Like, for Halloween,
你有没有扮过尖头鬼
did you ever go as a pointy-headed ghost?
三K党装扮
我代表戴夫·强森
Hi, I'm calling on behalf
准备参加市议会竞选
of the Dave Johnson for City Council campaign--
好吧我告诉你一些你♥妈♥的♥事
Oh, well, let me tell you something about yo mama...
喂
Hello?
u202d好吧
u202dOkay.
到目前为止有三个"你妈"
So far, that's three "yo mamas..."
五个"去死"
five "go to hells"
还有一个"别让我在墨西哥快餐店看到你"
and one "I better not see your ass at Chipotle."
大家都很生我们的气
Everyone is so mad at us.
我不知道还能承受多少
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
我真的会想念墨西哥快餐店的
And I'm really gonna miss Chipotle.
我知道现在情况很糟
Look, I know this is bad right now,
但你可以挺过去的
but you can get through this.
你很坚强
You're tough.
我不太确定
I'm not so sure.
我很确定好吗
Well, I am, okay?
你带你的家人搬来这里
You moved your family into this neighborhood,
根本不鸟流言蜚语
and you didn't take mess from anybody.
可能吧
I guess.
而且你是私立学校的校长
And you're a principal at a private school.
你整天要对付自命不凡被宠坏的小鬼
You have to deal with snotty, spoiled brats all day.
还有他们的孩子
And their kids, too.
有一半时间我都不知道妈妈们是不是在生我的气
Half the time, I can't even tell if the moms are mad at me
她们脸上全是肉毒杆菌
'cause of all the Botox.
相信我妹子
Trust me, girl.
你可以的
You got this.
也许你说得对
Maybe you're right.
我是一个牛逼的小婊砸
I am kind of a badass B-word.
没错
Damn straight!
你是我见过第二坚强的女人
You are the second strongest woman I know.
谁是第一
Who's the first?
我啊小婊砸
Me, B-word!
戴夫
Okay, Dave,
你真的准备好了吗
you sure you're ready for this?
他们可不好对付
It's gonna get kind of rough in there.
没问题我上来先告诉他们
No problem. I'm just gonna start
我不可能是种族主义者
by telling them that there's no way that I'm racist
因为我最好的朋友是黑人
because my best friend is black.
作为你最好的黑人朋友
As your black best friend,
永远不要说你有个最好的黑人朋友
never say you have a black best friend.
好吧那我就进去
Okay. All right. Well, then I'm just gonna go in there
告诉他们这些错误的指控
and tell them that these false accusations have got--
快把我整疯了
have got me straight trippin'.
我收回
I take it back.
我不是你最好的黑人朋友
I'm not your black best friend.
好吧那
Okay, so...
那我该怎么办
Well, what am I supposed to do?
直接进去告诉他们你是什么样的人
Look, just go in there and show them who you really are.
我会支持你的
I'll have your back.
好的我进去
Okay. I'm just gonna go in there
然后
and I'm gonna...
回怼[拍]那些喷子
and I'm gonna clap... back... at my haters.
我不该给他看黑人的推特
I never should've shown him Black Twitter.
伙计们伙计们
Hey, guys! Hey, guys.
你来干什么
What are you doing here?
是啊如果你带了砂锅
Yeah. And if you got a casserole,
放下就赶紧走
you drop it off and you leave.
很明显这里的每个人都看过那张照片了
Okay, obviously, everyone here has seen the picture.
伙计们但我发誓不是看上去的那样
But I swear, you guys, it is not what it looks like.
拜托
Please.
我用过那句台词
I've used that line before,
每次都是看上去的那样
and it was always what it looked like.
好了大家等一下
All right. Okay, hold on, everybody.
给他一个机会
Come on. Give the man a chance.
什么机会
A chance to what,
说他有个最好的黑人朋友吗
say he's got a black best friend?
还好你在外面提醒我了
Thank God you talked to me outside.
听着
Okay, listen up.
我知道大家都怎么想戴夫
Now, I know what everybody in here is thinking about Dave.
但我认识这个人两年了
But I've known this man for two years,
我可以肯定地告诉你们