东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S02E06

Part 3 Nov. 21, 2019, 2:12 p.m.

Oh, just admit it, Pop.
你的主意比我的还蠢
Your idea was even dumber than mine.
-谁说的 -灯说的
- Says who? - Says the lamp.
在你眼中是坏了一盏灯
You see a broken lamp,
在我眼中是少了一个鸟的落脚地
I see one less place for the bird to land.
借过抱歉
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
借过借过
Excuse me. Excuse me.
我就说我能带咱俩混进来
Told you I'd get us down here.
真不敢相信那个保安
I cannot believe that security guard
真的相信你是汤姆·克鲁斯的特技替身
really believed that you were Tom Cruise's stunt double.
我告诉他这个疤是我在《碟中谍5》里
I just told him I got this scar jumping out of a plane
跳飞机弄的
in Mission Impossible 5.
那这个疤到底是怎么弄的
Well, how did you really get it?
手术
Surgery.
七年级的时候我打了个嗝把牙套吞下去了
I got the hiccups in seventh grade and I swallowed my retainer.
我以为你肯定会失败
You know, I didn't think you could pull it off,
但你成功了你带我们混进来了
but you really did it; you got us down here.
挺牛逼的
That was pretty gangsta.
这你就觉得牛逼了吗
If you thought that was gangsta,
等我把这家伙吹起来吧
wait till I blow this bad boy up.
这是超大号♥的得花点时间
It's a jumbo, it might take a minute.
真不敢相信你告诉葛罗弗世界末日要来了
I can't believe you told Grover the world's gonna end.
这就是人们讨厌科学家的原因
You know, this is why people hate scientists.
从一个学校校长嘴里说出这种话
That's kind of an alarming thing to hear
真是令人担忧
coming from a school principal.
你不能在孩子面前说那种话
You can't say those kinds of things in front of kids.
我不想让葛罗弗因为世界末日而抓狂
I don't want Grover freaking out about the end of the world.
杰玛抱歉但我是科学家
Well, I'm sorry, Gemma, but I'm a scientist;
我只说实话
I work with the facts.
而我是家长马蒂我撒谎
And I'm a parent, Marty; I lie.
你想说什么
Okay. So what are you saying?
我们应该只是粉饰真♥相♥
We should just sugarcoat the truth
给他灌输无知和谎言吗
and stuff him full of ignorance and falsehoods?
对啊
Yes.
他才七岁
He's seven years old.
他不需要知道世界很可怕
He doesn't need to know the world's a scary place.
他应该想的是漫画书
All he should be thinking about are comic books,
玩玩具收集宝可梦
playing with his toys and collecting Pokémon.
这三件事今天我都想到了
You know, I thought about all three of those today.
我知道不可能永远这样下去
Look, I know it can't last forever,
但他能保持天真无邪的时间不多了
but he only gets to be innocent for a little while.
好吧我懂
Okay, I get it.
如果能让你好受点的话小行星撞地球
And if it makes you feel better, the whole asteroid thing
可能要再等一万年才会发生
probably won't happen for another 10,000 years.
那我就放心了
Well, that's a relief.
或者等到周三
Or Wednesday.
那只鸟在嘲弄我们我就知道
That bird is taunting us, I know it.
是啊他比你还要自大
Yeah. He's feeling himself more than you.
也许他找了份工作
Maybe he got a job
给家人买♥♥了些葵花籽
and bought his family some sunflower seeds.
真不知道我怎么觉得生活会有所改观
I don't know why I thought things would be any different.
你说什么呢
What are you talking about?
这么多年来你一直催我找工作
You've been riding me for years about getting a job.
如今我终于有工作了
Now I finally got one
但我还是得不到应得的尊重
and I still can't get the respect I deserve.
你是个终于找到工作的成年人
Look, you're a grown-ass man who finally got a job.
别指望有人为此给你颁奖
But unless that job is making trophies, don't expect one.
我不想要奖杯老爸
I don't want a trophy, Pop,
我只想被平等对待
I just want to be treated like an equal.
平等
Equal?
和谁平等
To who?
和你平等
Equal to you.
好吧
Okay. Look.
我很高兴你有了薪水
Now, I'm glad that you're getting a paycheck,
但是孩子事实是我们永远不会平等
but the truth is, son, we'll never be equals.
怎么你总是比我强吗
So, what, you're always gonna be better than me?
不儿子我不比你强
No, son, I'm not better than you,
但我是你父亲
but I am your father,
这意味着我比你更有经验
which means I'm further down the road than you.
我的职责就是指导和教导你
And it's my responsibility to guide and teach you,
也就是说如果你说了什么蠢话
which means if you say something stupid,
我就要戳穿你
I'm gonna tell you it's stupid.
如果你说了聪明的话
Now, if you say something smart,
那就是我的功劳
I'm gonna take credit for it.
所以你说蠢话的时候
Right. So nobody gets to tell you
没人来戳穿你吗
when you say something stupid?
你在开玩笑吗
Are you kidding me?
我早就有你妈了
I got your mother for that.
我们是不是该去
All right, man, so should we just
告诉杰玛我们被这只鸟打败了
go tell Gemma that this bird beat us?
我想是的
Yeah, I guess so.
老爸别动
Don't move, Pop.
我该怎么办
W-W-What should I do?
现在你想听我的建议了
Oh, now you want my advice?
别跟我皮马尔科姆让开
Don't play with me, Malcolm. Get-get out the way.
小鸟
Okay, little bird.
别搞事
Don't do nothing crazy.
咱俩都想回家和家人团聚
We both want to get home to our families.
你成功了
You did it!
看到了吗
You see that?
-看到我有多酷了吗 -看到了
- You see how cool I played it? - Yeah.
让我想起了街头生活
Took me back to my street days, man.
老爹你太冷静了
Yeah, Pop, you was ice cold.
既然事情已经摆平了
Well, now that we handled our business...
没错没错
Right. Right.
-那我们回家吧 -走着
- ...what do you say we go home? - Let's go, man.
这回靠戴夫了
That's Dave's problem now.
都怪你的沙滩球
You and your stupid beach ball.
整个演唱会就我一个黑人妹子
I'm the only black girl at the concert
你还让我在众目睽睽之下从前排走回来
and you got me doing a perp walk from the front row.
我不明白
I don't understand.
看《歌♥剧魅影》的时候沙滩球很受欢迎的
The beach ball was a big hit at Phantom.
再溜下去我就把你们赶出去
You try to sneak down again, and I'm kicking you out.
-真要命 -欣赏演唱会吧
- Oh, my God. - Enjoy the concert.
他肯定不是第一次扎沙滩球
Man, wasn't that guy's first beach ball.
直接扎在缝上了
He cut it right on the seam.
戴夫把沙滩球放下好吗
Look, Dave, just put down the beach ball, okay?
不我不能让这家伙毁了我们的夜晚
No, I'm not letting this guy ruin our night.
我要拿修补包出来
I'm getting out my patch kit.
够了
Enough!
破坏演唱会的不是他
He's not ruining the concert.
而是因为你总是想装酷
You are ruining the concert for trying to be so cool.
装酷如果我不酷
Trying? If I wasn't so cool, how do you think
为什么我们能去前排
I got us down to the floor in the first place?
你想知道真♥相♥吗
You want to know the truth?
我给了他五十块
I gave him 50 bucks.
大家都知道汤姆·克鲁斯特技不用替身
Everybody knows that Tom Cruise does his own stunts!
其实我还有一个计划
All right, you know what? I have another plan.
不不不拜托拜托戴夫
No, no! No, please. Please, Dave,
别琢磨了好吗
no more plans, okay?
我们就坐在这里看演唱会
Let's just sit here, watch the concert,
然后回家
and go home.
好吧
All right. Fine.
别光那么坐着
Well, don't just sit there.
不是你让我坐着的吗
Well, that's what you told me to do.
你这么坐着很奇怪
Well, you're doing it all weird.
我
I-- You know...
咱俩真的很难相处
I can't win with you.
我只是想和你做朋友
All I wanted for us was to make a connection.
虽然没有我和卡尔文的友情
You know, obviously, not as deep
那么深厚但是