东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S02E03

Part 2 Nov. 21, 2019, 2:12 p.m.

近来可好
Wazzup!
你也说了他的技术很棒
And, like you said, he's doing a great job.
你这样觉得吗卡尔文
You said that, Calvin?
最棒的是
And the best part is,
他干活不收费噢
he's doing it for free.
我得我得...
I-I need to, uh...
我得去... 对了
I-I'm gonna have to... right.
缇娜
‭Tina!
你能不能告诉她我今天把前面刷完
Will you tell her that I'm gonna finish the front today
明天再刷侧面
and I'll do the sides tomorrow?
是不是很可爱
Oh, isn't that sweet.
他以为明天还有得刷
He thinks there's gonna be a tomorrow.
缇娜
Tina?
缇娜
Tina?
什么
What?
缇娜你让戴夫免费帮我们刷房♥子吗
‭Tina, you're letting Dave paint our house for free?
那又怎么样你不就喜欢免费的吗
So? You like anything free.
没有我不喜欢
No, I don't.
厨房♥里有满满两抽屉番茄酱包
You have two drawers in the kitchen stuffed with ketchup packets.
那不是免费的
Those aren't free.
汉堡的价格里已经包含番茄酱了
They're built into the price of the hamburger.
卡尔文你又开始无理取闹了
Calvin, you're being ridiculous.
这就是你不懂道理了
See, you just don't get it.
让别的男人免费帮我们刷房♥子
Letting another man work on your house for free,
就像是在说我们自己刷不了一样
it's like saying you can't do it yourself.
好那你要自己去刷吗
Okay, so you want to do it yourself?
绝对不去
Hell no!
但是让戴夫给我们刷房♥子
But letting Dave paint our house,
绝对是违反了男人守则
that's a direct violation of the man code.
得了吧上回提到你的男人守则
Oh, please. The last time you talked about your man code,
你不愿意缝针结果手指头差点保不住
you refused to get stitches and almost lost your finger.
保住了自然愈合的
I did not. It naturally healed.
你看现在手指差点就可以活动了
Look, I can almost bend it.
我不想听你在这里胡说八道
You know, I don't want to hear any more of this nonsense.
这不是胡说八道
It's not nonsense.
男人有不成文的原则
See, there are unwritten rules to manhood.
比如握手要有力
Like always give a firm handshake.
比如要言出必行
And that your word is your bond.
还有永远不要恭维其他男人的外套
And never, ever compliment another man's outfit
除非你想找架吵
unless you're looking for a fight.
卡尔文是你要我雇一个又能干又便宜的人
Calvin, you told me to hire someone good and cheap,
我照你说的做了对我来说
which I did, so as far as I'm concerned,
唯一的问题就是你
the only problem we have is you.
你雇了另一个男人
You hire another man
他要免费给我们的房♥子好好粉刷一番
who's doing an excellent job painting our house for free,
我却是问题所在
and I'm the problem?
好吧缇娜
Okay, Tina.
好吧卡尔文
Well, okay, Calvin.
如果你不喜欢那就做点什么
If you don't like it, then you do something about it.
我会的
Oh, I will.
别弄我的番茄酱包
And don't be messin' with my ketchup packets.
我知道有多少包
I know how many there are!
你们可能在想
Now, you're probably wondering
我为什么选了天然纤维没选合成纤维
why I chose natural over synthetic fiber.
对我们就是为了这事来找你的
Yeah, that's exactly why we're sticking around.
戴夫
Dave.
你被解雇了
You're fired.
什么为什么
What? Why?
因为我可以自己粉刷我的房♥子
Because I can paint my own damn house.
你不能解雇我我♥干♥活又没收钱
You can't fire me. I'm doing this for free.
你还说咱俩是朋友呢
And you call yourself a friend!
你好卡尔文先生
Hey, Mr. Calvin.
你好小家伙
Oh, hey, little man.
我爸不是这么粉刷房♥子的
That's not how my dad paints the house.
再见小家伙
Goodbye, little man.
你之前干过这个吗
Have you ever done this before?
没有但这也没有很难
No. But it's not that hard.
不就是...
I mean, you...
蘸一蘸
dip it...
抹一抹等着干
slap it, watch it dry.
蘸一蘸抹一抹
Dip it, slap it...
等着干
...watch it dry.
你怎么不让我爸帮你
Why won't you just let my dad help you?
因为一个叫男人守则的东西
Well, because of something called the man code.
那是一套未成文的规矩
That's a set of unwritten rules
由当爹的世代相传下来
that fathers have passed down from generation to generation.
什么规矩
What are the rules?
其中一条就是
Well, for one...
不要给一个男人发短♥信♥说"平安回家"
never text a man "Get home safe."
如果他没能安全到家只是上帝的旨意
If he doesn't, it's just God's plan.
我朋友和我一般只会发表情包
My friends and I mostly text each other emojis.
你还是不要这样了
Oh, oh, you got to stop doing that.
你能给另一个男人发的表情包只有
The only emojis you can text to another man is
击拳
the fist bump,
秀肌肉
strong arm,
还有竖拇指
and the thumbs up.
那独角兽头呢
What about a unicorn head?
除非你用击拳表情打在它脸上
Only if the fist bump is punching it in the face.
行吧
'Kay.
还有一条
And that's another one.
不要给另一个男人发短♥信♥说"行吧"
Never text another man, "'Kay."
要说"好吧"
It's always, "O-kay."
为什么
Wh-Why?
没人知道就是这样
No one knows. It-it just is.
好吧
O-kay.
这就对了
There you go.
他上道比马蒂快多了
Yeah, he got that way faster than Marty.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
看卡尔文粉刷他的房♥子
Watching Calvin paint his house.
烂爆了
It's a disaster.
他没有打底漆也没有贴胶带
He didn't prime, he didn't tape.
他好像只是在那蘸蘸抹抹
It's... it's just like he's dipping and slapping out there.
知道吗昨天看见你在那粉刷房♥子
You know, seeing you out there painting yesterday
勾起了很多美好的回忆
brought back a lot of fond memories.
是吗
Oh, yeah?
比如什么
Like what?
比如他们把档案馆的钥匙给你后
Like when they gave you the keys to the Hall of Records,
我们在许可证办公室玩了一会
and we had some fun in the permit office.
那肯定没有得到许可
We definitely didn't have a permit for that.
所以我在想或许等会...
So, I was thinking, maybe later today...
不是吧
Oh, for God's sakes.
他用树枝搅拌油漆
He's stirring the paint with a tree branch!
他是个疯子
This man is a maniac!
我不明白他为什么要坚持自己刷
I don't understand why he insists on doing this alone.
-放轻松爸男人守则 -什么
- Easy, Dad. Man code. - What?
他说你违反了男人的规矩
He said you're breaking the rules of being a man.
顺便说下不要再给我发独角兽表情了
By the way, you got to stop texting me unicorns.
他在说什么
What is he talking about?
我可没有违反男人守则我在谨遵男人守则
I was not breaking man code. I was following it.
兄弟有需就要挺身而出永远不要半途而废
Always have your buddy's back, never leave a job unfinished.
如果朋友的新衣服很好看
And if your friend looks good in a new suit,
一定要称赞他
make sure to let him know.
还是不要站在这看卡尔文刷墙了
Well, instead of standing here watching Calvin paint,
或许我们可以上楼去然后...
maybe we could go upstairs and...
你快看啊
Would you look at that?
我的天
Oh, my gosh.
他在窗框上用滚轮
He's using rollers on the window frames.
这个人什么都不懂
The man's oblivious to everything!
我听说这电影超搞笑的
Yo, I hear this movie is hilarious.
我不确定伙计
I don't know, man.