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Well, in that case,
那辆货车你也不会想要了
you ain't gonna want the truck either.
马尔科姆
Hey, Malcolm.
我过来看看你怎么样了
I was just coming over to see how you're doing.
我还好
I'm fine.
就去散了个步
Just went for a little walk.
我走之后 你们和索菲亚聊得怎么样
So, how'd the rest of the night with Sofia go?
有点尴尬
Kind of weird.
为了不让她笑
Dave tried to keep her from laughing
戴夫就跟她聊鸦♥片♥战争
by talking about the opioid crisis
还有蜜蜂是怎么死的
and how all the bees are dying.
你为什么说是你的问题
Hey, what did you mean when you said you're the deal breaker?
索菲亚很棒
Look, Sofia is amazing.
她漂亮 成熟
She's beautiful, she's sophisticated,
还很成功
she's successful.
你再看看我 杰玛
But look at me, Gemma.
仍然住在爸妈家 生活还没走上正轨
I'm still living at home, trying to get my life together.
你在别人眼中不是这样的
That's not how anyone sees you.
你是个好人
You're a great guy.
也许吧 但是我能给她什么呢
Well, maybe, but what do I have to offer her?
也就能在爸妈的沙发上看网飞
Aside from watching Netflix on my parents' couch
我老爹还在旁边往脚上涂乳液
while my pops rubs lotion on his feet.
他在我们家沙发上也涂过
Yeah, he's done that on our couch, too.
现实就是
Look, the fact is,
我现在配不上索菲亚
Sofia's out of my league right now.
马尔科姆
Malcolm...
你的将来是会改变的
where you are now in your life is gonna change.
但你的本质是不会变的
What's not gonna change is who you are.
索菲亚也喜欢真正的你
And Sofia likes who you are.
她这么说的
She said that?
你自己看看她发的信息
Why don't you read the text yourself?
她老是提我的屁♥股♥
Well, she talks a lot about my butt.
让我感觉自己就是一坨肉
Kind of makes me feel like a piece of meat.
我喜欢
I like that.
索菲亚绝对值得
Look, Sofia's a total catch,
你不应该放手
and you shouldn't let her get away.
我也会在她面前这么说你的
And I would tell her the exact same thing about you.
谢谢你 杰玛
Thank you, Gemma.
我给她打个电♥话♥
I'm gonna go give her a call.
就这样 爱神丘比特再次命中目标
Just like that, Dr. Wedding Bells saves another patient.
把门关上
Shut the damn door!
他又在往脚上涂乳液了
Was he putting lotion on his feet?
你就这么想吧
Yeah, let's just go with that.
跟缇娜结婚之前 你在交往的时候
So, before you married Tina and were dating,
会有硬性条件吗
did you have any deal breakers?
我只有两个条件 戴夫
I only had two rules, Dave.
美足和翘臀
Pretty feet and a big ole butt.
那交朋友呢
Well, what about with friends--
有条件吗
any rules there?
很多
A bunch.
不能是密歇根人
No one from Michigan,
不能是乐天派
no optimists
绝对不能叫戴夫
and definitely no one named Dave.
我也有一些交友条件
Well, you know, I happen to have a few rules of my own.
说来听听
All right. Let's hear 'em.
必须脾气暴躁
They have to be grumpy,
必须什么都知道
they have to know everything
绝对要会修车
and they definitely have to be able to fix a car.
戴夫 如果这就是你的条件
Dave, if those are your rules,
我们俩肯定能成为最好的朋友
that would mean we would be best friends.
是你说的 不是我
You said it, not me.
棒呆
Booyah!
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