东邻西舍

The Neighborhood S02E18

Part 2 May 15, 2020, 7:39 a.m.

它让我坚强起来
It toughened me up.
我希望葛罗弗也可以这样
And that's what I want for Grover.
但是
But...
他是我教过的最差劲的球员
he's the worst player I've ever coached.
我还教过马蒂呢
And I coached Marty.
就训练了一回
It was one practice.
我相信他后面会进步的
I'm sure he'll get better.
而且我以为你跟戴夫说过
Besides, I thought you told Dave
你是全世界最好的教练
you were the best coach in the world.
我没那样说过
I never said that.
我又不是自大狂
I'm not an egomaniac.
我说的是全加利福利亚
I said California.
一开始是你说
Look, it was your idea
要让他加入球队的
to put him on the team in the first place, so...
那就让他进球队
put him on the team.
除非你要想被塞到储物柜里
Unless you want to be stuffed into a locker.
小个子白人女生这样还挺吓人的
For a tiny little white girl, she's kind of scary.
难以置信
I can't believe it.
你谋杀了溜溜
You murdered Slinky.
我那是自我保护
Well, it was self-defense.
它一看到我的蛇皮靴
As soon as he saw my snakeskin boots,
我就知道它要攻击我
I knew he was coming for me.
别这样马蒂
Yeah, hey, look, come on, Marty.
都过了15年算了吧
It's been almost 15 years, man. Let it go.
你说的倒是轻松
Well, it's easy for you to say.
你又不爱它也没照顾它
You're not the one who loved him, cared for him,
也没有晚上带它出去遛弯
took him outside for his nightly slithers.
好吧马蒂我道歉
Okay, Marty, I'm sorry.
我不应该处理掉你的蛇
I shouldn't have gotten rid of your pet like that.
我要怎么做才能补偿你
What can I do to make it up to you?
看情况
Well, that depends.
你还有什么事情骗过我
What else have you lied to me about?
我的太空营伙伴温斯顿·张
Did my old Space Camp buddy Winston Chang
是真的搬回中国了吗还是你把他也杀了
really move back to China, or did you kill him, too?
好了马蒂别这样
Okay, Marty, come on.
让我做点什么安慰下你吧
Let me do something to make you feel better.
比如什么
Like what?
什么都行你说
Anything. Just name it.
我很喜欢你做的海鲜什锦饭
Well, I-I do love your seafood jambalaya.
要买♥♥那么多东西还有那么多准备工作
I mean, with all the shopping and the prep,
得花上一天时间
that's gonna take all day.
没错确实得花不少时间
Yeah, you're right. It does take a lot of time.
不过死却是永恒的
Although death is forever.
行行我现在就去市场
Okay. Fine. I'll go to the market right now.
妈既然你要出门
Well, hey, Ma, since you out there...
我可没杀你的宠物
I didn't kill your pet.
看到你这么伤心还挺意外的
Oh, man, I'm really surprise how upset you are.
我不知道你那么爱那条蛇
I didn't realize how much you loved that snake.
其实
Well, actually...
我烦死那死玩意了
I hated that damn thing!
什么
What?
太吓人了
Well, it was terrifying.
就像一大条长着尖牙的意大利面
Like a giant piece of spaghetti with teeth.
好吧那你为什么要为难妈妈
All right, well, then why are you giving Mama such a hard time?
这么跟你说吧就是教训她做人要诚实
I'll tell you why-- to teach her a lesson in honesty.
不惜对她撒谎吗
By lying to her?
我觉得这算不上撒谎
Well, I-I wouldn't call it lying.
好吧那算什么
Okay, then what would you call it?
我
Well, I...
饶了我吧马尔科姆我还在哀痛中
Oh, give me a break, Malcolm. I'm in mourning.
什么
What?
葛罗弗你听说过
Okay, Grover, you ever heard the phrase
-"单挑"吗 -当然
- "he got game"? - Sure.
这个你还玩不上
Well, you ain't got none.
不过我向你妈保证要把你训练成球手
But I promised your mom I'd turn you into a player,
我会信守承诺的
and that's what I'm gonna do.
不过我不会运球投球传球
But I can't dribble, I can't shoot, I can't pass.
你抢篮板也很烂
Don't forget you suck at rebounding, too.
我知道非要我上场
I know. If I have to play,
我只会丢人现眼
I'm just gonna go out there and embarrass myself.
别担心我有个计划
Don't worry. Look, I got a plan.
你还记得豪尔赫练习时
You remember when Jorge tried to get
想多吃一瓣橙子
the extra orange slice at practice
你把他的手扇开了吗
and you slapped his hand away?
有我在他就别想
Not on my watch.
所以我要让你当执法者
That's why I'm gonna make you the enforcer.
执法者
The enforcer?
听起来像个超级英雄
That kind of sounds like a superhero.
没错
It is.
不过你的职责不是救人而是肘击对手
But instead of saving people, your job is to elbow them,
对他们犯规吓死其他小孩
foul and scare the crap out of other kids.
我可以这样做吗
Am I allowed to do that?
一场比赛最多六次
Up to six times a game.
这样
Okay, so here.
假装我是敌队的
Pretend I'm on the other team
我们都要抢一个篮板球
and we're fighting for a rebound.
给我看看你的本事
Show me what you got.
来吧
Come on.
你妈还说我不是个好教练
And your mom said I wasn't a good coach.
看看葛罗弗
Oh, look at Grover out there.
他穿这身制♥服♥看起来好成熟
He looks so grown-up in his uniform.
妈妈爱你亲亲宝贝
Mommy loves you, snuggle bug!
妈妈
Mommy!
我真替他紧张
I'm so nervous for him.
感觉就像校园剧的首演之夜
It feels like opening night at the school play.
我的树叶颤抖得太厉害
My leaves were shaking so bad,
他们只好加了一段关于狂风的台词
they had to add a line about the gusty wind.
过来吧
Come on, bring it in.
好了伙计们
All right, guys.
我们要上场了认真打球
We're gonna go out there, we're gonna play hard,
享受比赛不过最重要的
we're gonna have fun, but most importantly,
好好展现体育精神
show good sportsmanship.
上吧雄狮们
Go Lions!
拿下比赛
Let's get it.
葛罗弗
Hey, Grover.
体育精神那套对你不适用
All that good sportsmanship stuff doesn't apply to you.
明白
Got it.
这是你的护齿器
And, uh, here's your mouth guard.
安全第一
Safety first.
你的安全他们的不算
Yours, not theirs.
谢了卡尔文教练
Thanks, Coach Calvin.
天呐葛罗弗首发
Oh, my God, Grover's starting.
那是我儿子 12号♥
That's my son! Number 12!
那是我的暖男儿子
That's my snuggly son!
昨天葛罗弗还只是个递水的
Wow, yesterday Grover was the water boy.
今天他就成首发了
Today he's in the starting five.
以这种速度明天他就
I mean, at this rate, tomorrow he's gonna be...
犯规 12号♥
Foul, number 12!
进监狱了
...in jail.
-哥们 -你好吗
- Dude. - Yo, what's up, man?
别告诉我你让妈妈内疚得给你做了个派
Don't tell me you guilted Mom into baking you a pie?
当然了
I sure did.
复仇是最美味的佳肴
Revenge is a dish best served à la mode.
马蒂我准备去你家打扫卫生了
Okay, Marty, I'm off to clean your apartment.
谢谢妈妈
Thanks, Mama.
你真的不介意为我做这些吗
Now, you sure you're okay doing this for me?
为了宝贝我什么都愿意做
Anything for my baby.
好极了记得要用松木香的
Great. Make sure you use the pine scent,
因为柠檬香让我鼻子发痒
because the lemon tickles my nose.
好我去找找有没有
Okay, let me see if I have any.