室内奇兵（2016）
The Great Indoors
第一季
剧集 | 室内奇兵（2016） | 导航列表
室内奇兵（2016）
The Great Indoors S01E18
Part 3
Aug. 6, 2020, 5:50 p.m.
Then why did I just see your janky ass
刚从优步拼车上下来
pull up in an UberPool?
别对我毒舌[投阴影] 小姐
Don't you throw shade at me, missy,
否则我买♥♥下隔壁
or I'll buy the next-door lot,
建座高楼 真正在你身上投下♥阴♥影
build a tower, and then throw shade literally back at you.
瓦尔
Val,
我们在找一个朋友 他很醉了
we're looking for a friend. He's pretty drunk.
你可能称呼他为 香蕉共和国贱♥货♥
You probably described him as "Banana Republic bitch"
或是 同志版汤姆·汉克斯
or, uh, "Gay Tom Hanks."
你是说保罗
Oh, you mean Paul?
对 他的手♥机♥落在这里
Yeah, he left his phone here.
-是吗 给我们好吗 -等等
- He did? Can we have it? - Hold up.
这个死英国娘娘腔是他未来岳父吗
Is this crumpet muncher his future father-in-law?
是的 怎么说
Yeah. Why?
你说你只能在醉酒后忍♥受他
You said you can only stand him when you're drunk.
你为什么这么刻薄 唐顿庄园贱♥货♥
Why you so mean, you Downton Abbey bitch?
他在酒吧听见我们说话了
He must have heard us at the bar.
你不如脱欧吧 苏珊大妈
Why don't you Brexit, Susan Boyle?
否则场面可不好看
Or this won't be pretty.
我告诉你什么不好看 小姑娘
I'll tell you what's not pretty, baby girl,
这些假到死的指甲
those fake-ass nails.
怎么了 杰克 它们好俗气
What, Jack? They're ratchet.
找到保罗的手♥机♥了 爱玛
Found Paul's phone. Emma,
看有没有他去了哪里的线索
see if there's any clues on here about where he might be.
罗兰和我继续找他
Roland and I will keep looking.
不准告诉布洛克
And not a word to Brooke.
还有
Oh, and, uh,
爱情胜利
love wins.
1998年时 杰克会是一个非常棒的支持型妈妈
Jack would have made a really good supportive mom in 1998.
你觉得可以黑进去吗
You think you can hack into it?
我不知道 这个加密了
I don't know. This thing's hella encrypted.
我尽力 搞定
I'll try my best. Done.
见鬼 是布洛克
Crap, it's Brooke.
亲爱的 希望你拿到外套了
"Hey, sweetie. Hope you got your jacket."
我们最好回复 否则她会觉得出事了
We better answer it, or she's gonna think something's up.
谢谢你 宝贝
"Thanks, baby.
你最好了
You're the best."
好了
There. ?
你现在一定很热吧
"You must be so hot right now""
布洛克
Whoa, Brooke.
够顽皮的
Naughty much?
要玩游戏得两个人
Two can spit this game.
对 热到欲♥火♥焚身了
"Yeah, so hot I'm on fire."
也许你应该脱掉什么
"Maybe you should take something off"
她饥渴了
Oh, she thirsty.
干透了
Parched.
真希望你帮我脱
"I wish you could take it off for me."
你们在做什么
Wh-What are you guys doing?
给布洛克发色情短♥信♥
We're sexting Brooke.
我的天 我们在给布洛克发色情短♥信♥
Oh, my God, we're sexting Brooke!
我也不想要
Ew! I don't want it either!
靠 她回复
Crap, she replied back!
我无法想象那么硬的样子
"I can't picture it being that hard."
这什么意思
What does that mean?
只有一个意思
It can only mean one thing.
布洛克要他发鸡鸡照
Brooke wants a picture of his penis.
你们找到保罗了吗
Hey, you guys find Paul yet?
没 我们找了附近的警♥察♥局 医院
No. We checked the nearest police station, hospital,
乔安纺织品店
and Jo-Ann Fabrics.
三个地方他全去过 但今天没有
He'd been to all three but none today.
没事
That's all right.
虽然你们没找到 但你们找了快两小时了
You may not have succeeded, but you tried for almost two hours,
这很重要
and that's what really matters.
你又在偷吃顾客食物了对吗
You're back to eating off your customers' plates again, aren't you?
是
Yeah.
-乔 -罗兰
- Joe? - Roland,
我们没时间喝酒
we-we don't have time for a drink.
五分钟后 所有"自己涂色"作坊就散场子了
All the Color Me Mines will be letting out in five minutes.
我们不能把保罗留在外面
We can't just leave Paul out there.
正相反
Counterpoint:
我们可以
yes, we can.
保罗是你未来的女婿
Paul is your future son-in-law,
他不见了 因为你羞辱了他
and he's out there because you insulted him.
说真的 你对他有什么不满
Seriously, what is your problem with him?
你想知道我的不满吗
You want to know what my problem is?
他不是你
He's not you.
对 我差点又抽烟了
Yeah, I'm also smoking again.
各位 布洛克等着呢
Guys, Brooke's waiting.
我们就鼓起勇气选一个小鸡鸡♥吧♥
We need to sack up and pick a penis.
那个敏感的怎么样 从卡其裤里向外偷看
What about that sensible one, peeking out of those khakis?
配上裤子真心不错
Now, that's a trouser champ
你生病时会送汤给你
that'll bring you soup when you're sick.
我不知道
I don't know.
太过安全了
It's just so... safe.
这个坏小子怎么样
How 'bout this bad boy,
一点阴毛茬 眯眯眼
with the five o'clock shadow and the squint?
我们不是在为自己选完美鸡鸡
Guys, we're not trying to pick the perfect penis for us--
我们是在为保罗挑选
we're trying to pick the perfect penis for Paul.
我来决定
You know what, I'm calling it.
就选这个
We're going with... that one. ?
发送
And sent.
各位 我们表现得太好了
Guys, we really crushed this.
杰克会骄傲的
Jack would be proud.
保罗也是
And so would Paul.
我不是保罗 这话什么意思
What do you mean I'm not Paul?
我是说布洛克应该配一个坚强的人 像你这样的
I mean Brooke deserves someone strong, like you.
一个会挑战她的人
Someone-someone who'll challenge her
而且不怕挑战我
and isn't afraid to challenge me.
保罗就像
Paul is like...
不够味的棉花糖
if they made marshmallows less spicy.
坚强分很多种类
Well, people are strong in different ways.
比如说我的双性恋好朋友梅森
My close, bisexual friend Mason, for example,
他每天都显示出了勇气
he shows strength every single day.
杰克 你知道我的意思
Jack, you know just what I mean.
我看到你和布洛克
I've seen how you and Brooke
互相激发对方最好的一面
bring out the best in each other.
保罗不是这样的
Paul isn't like that.
这个男人不为自己想要的争取
The man doesn't fight for what he wants.
但话说回来 也许你也是这样
But then again, maybe you don't either.
我不想打击你 但布洛克做出了选择
Well, I hate to break it to you, but Brooke's made her choice.
不管你喜不喜欢
And whether you like it or not,
保罗哪里也不会去
Paul is here to stay.
我的未婚夫呢
Where is my fiancé?
除非我们永远找不到他了
Unless we've lost him forever.
抱歉 杰克
Sorry, Jack.
我们发错了鸡鸡
We sent the wrong penis.
鸡鸡都没错
There are no wrong penises.
真不敢相信你们把保罗弄丢了
I can't believe you lost Paul.
你们真心觉得我认不出
And did you honestly think I wouldn't recognize
我未婚夫的鸡鸡吗
my own fiancé's penis?
说实话 我们以为你俩做♥爱♥不开灯
Honestly, we just assumed you two banged in the dark.
对 真的给人这种感觉
Yeah, that-that's pretty on brand.
但每个人都有自己爱的方式
But everyone loves in their own way.
这样很好
And that's okay.
真不敢相信你们逼保罗喝酒
I can't believe you would pressure Paul to drink.
你们知道他吃了药不能喝酒
You know he wasn't supposed to mix alcohol with his medication.
是 但容我说一句
Ah, yes, but, in our defense,
我们弄丢他很久后才知道这事
we lost him way before we had that information.
爸 你为什么不能接受我爱的男人呢
Dad, why can't you just accept the man I love?
你从来没给他机会
You've never even given him a chance.
我可以查到他在哪里用过信♥用♥卡♥
室内奇兵（2016）
The Great Indoors
剧集 | 室内奇兵（2016） | 导航列表