室内奇兵（2016）

The Great Indoors S01E01

Part 1 Aug. 6, 2020, 5:46 p.m.

不好意思请出示证件
Excuse me, I.D., please.
证件真可爱
I.D.? That's cute.
我是杰克·戈登
I'm Jack Gordon.
后面就是我的证件
There's my I.D. right there.
哪里
Where?
照片上就一个人
There's one guy in the photo!
你想得倒挺美
Oh, you wish you were that guy!
我不知道现在可以带宠物到办公室了
I didn't know they allowed pets in the office now.
还是说这是那种奇怪的人
Or is that one of those special dogs
可以到处带的特别的狗
that weird people can take anywhere?
你不能问它是否是...
You're not allowed to ask if it's an...
情感支持动物
emotional support animal.
我想我已经得到答案了
I think I have my answer.
杰克·戈登
Jack Gordon?
见到你真是太好了
It is so incredible to meet you.
我是克拉克在线内容策划
I'm Clark, online content curator.
你好克拉克显然这个职位名称是瞎编的
Hi, Clark, obviously made-up job title.
就是因为你我才投身户外杂♥志♥界的
You're the reason I got into outdoor journalism.
我听说你今天要来
I heard you were coming in today,
我又重读了你的书
so I reread your book!
那是根老二
That's a penis.
梅森抱歉
Mason! Sorry.
你介意去下数字部吗
Hey, do you mind stopping by the digital department?
我是来见罗兰的所以...
I'm actually supposed to meet Roland, so...
太好了顺路
Oh nice, it's on the way.
对了我买♥♥了同款的迈乐户外靴
By the way, I got the same Moab boots
那次你被困在
you called "Life savers"
德纳里国家公园时称它为"救星"
when you were stranded in Denali National Park.
你经常在芝加哥市中心登山吗
Oh, you do a lot of mountain climbing in midtown Chicago?
没我是超级大汗脚
None-- my feet are crazy sweaty!
来吧
Come on!
各位这就是传说中的杰克·戈登
Guys, this is the Jack Gordon!
杰克这位是我们的社媒影响者爱玛
Jack, this is our social influencer, Emma.
我的天你是传奇真不敢相信你在这里
Oh, my God, you're a legend, I can't believe you're here.
她还挺激动的
That's actually pretty excited for her.
这是我们的数字通话专员
And this is our digital conversation specialist,
梅森
Mason.
梅森把脸放在老二上不错吧
Oh, Mason. It's nice to put a face to the penis.
不总是如此
Not always.
我帮你拿背包
Oh, let me help you with this pack here.
这是新的EV-2
The new EV-2!
我不知道已经发♥售♥了
I didn't know this bad boy was out.
里面有个穿尿布的变♥态♥小子
There's a sick kid in there wearing a diaper.
那是扎伯
That's Zeb.
他30天不能出帐篷
He can't leave the tent for 30 days.
我们24小时全天直播
We got a 24/7 video feed.
吃饭如厕所有的都在帐篷里进行
Meals, bathroom, everything in that tent.
而且扎伯在试穿新的内♥裤♥
Also, Zeb's demo-ing this new underwear
很屌♥的他们说
that's so rad, they claim
两周都不用换
you don't have to change them for two weeks.
不管用
Yeah, those aren't working out.
好消息咱们的网上调查成了转发量最高的
And good news, we just had our most retweeted online poll:
"僵尸末日的最佳户外装备"
"Best Outdoor Gear for the Zombie Apocalypse."
好样的
Yeah, nailed it!
你猜杀僵尸的头号♥武器是什么
Can you guess the number one zombie-killing tool?
记得僵尸不存在吗
Uh, remembering zombies don't exist?
不是帐篷固定钉
No, it was tent spikes,
我们给你的思考时间太短了
but we didn't give you enough time.
对帐篷固定钉你们太对了
Oh, yes, tent spikes, you're so right,
太多元化了
and so diverse.
祝你们策划拉粑粑
So, good luck with your curating and pooping
还有生殖器照片都顺顺利利的
and genital photos.
我要去见管理真正杂♥志♥的人
I'm gonna go see the guy who runs the real magazine.
我飞去巴塔哥尼亚[南美]时会想着你们的
I'll think of you on my flight to Patagonia.
这人也没多聪明嘛
Not as smart as he thinks.
巴塔哥尼亚冲锋衣店不就离这里三条街嘛
Patagonia's, like, three blocks away.
罗兰
Roland!
杰克
Jack!
杰克
Jack!
杰克...
Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack!
鸟儿有巢蜘蛛有网
"The bird a nest, the spider a web,
人类有友谊
man... friendship."
两人才能把事做完
"It takes two to make a thing go right."
我真想你杰克
Oh, I've missed you, Jack.
抱歉把你从户外叫回来
Sorry to have pulled you out of the wild.
我知道你不喜欢这样
I know you don't like that.
需要什么来恢复你上了年纪的精气神儿
What can I get you to restore your aging spirit?
你喝什么我喝什么
Oh, I'll have what you're having.
那你就喝今天早上第三杯苏格兰威士忌
Then you'll be having your third scotch of the morning.
我没见过这个
I never saw this.
你的向导感谢你吗
Your sherpa thanked you?
帕桑没错
Oh, Pasang, yes, yes.
我把他背下了乔戈里峰
I carried him down K2.
说实话我有点受之有愧
I get more credit for that than I deserve, to be honest.
不是背他就是背我的包
It was either him or my backpack,
他比我的包轻多了
and he weighed considerably less than my pack.
他们相当的娇小
They are a tiny, tiny people.
罗兰你还好吗
Roland, you okay?
说实话杰克
Well, to be honest, Jack,
情况并不乐观
not everything is rosy at the ranch.
这个月是我们杂♥志♥最后一次发行
This month is our last print issue.
杂♥志♥歇菜了吗
The magazine is done?
不像《新闻周刊》还有许多其他杂♥志♥一样
No, like Newsweek and many others,
在网站上继续更新
it will continue as a website.
所以杂♥志♥歇菜了
So the magazine is done.
再怎么也得搏一搏
Not without a fight.
所以我大力加强了我们的网络资源
To that end, I've considerably beefed up our online resources.
对我刚见到的数字部门托儿所来说
"Resources" is a strong word
"资源"这个词太夸张了
for the digital daycare division I just met.
跟我来
Walk with me.
我的孩子你知道你对这家杂♥志♥来说有多重要
My boy, you know how much you mean to this magazine.
我觉得现在很像走在"绿里"上
This walk is suddenly feeling very Green Mile to me.
电影《绿里奇迹》中路的尽头是刑场
叫我怎么说呢
How can I best put it?
有个德国故事叫做"临终前的狼"
There's a German folktale called "Der Wolf Auf Seinem Totenbett,"
我想讲给你听
and I would tell it to you now,
但这条走廊比我记忆中短很多
but this hallway is shorter than I remember
我们已经到了
and we're already here.
到哪里了
Where?
看你的新的工作地点
Behold, your new assignment!
杰克看
Jack! Hey, look!
我自己打的结
I tied my own knot!
室内奇兵第一季第一集
你要把我从户外调回来
You're pulling me from the field?
你打算什么时候告诉我
When were you going to tell me?
我本来打算在讲德国故事时委婉地告诉你
Well, I was hoping to weave it into that German folktale,
但我真心不懂走廊怎么这么短了
but I still can't get over how short that hallway is.
听着我极其需要你在这里杰克
Look, I need you here desperately, Jack.
你是杂♥志♥的门面
You're the voice of the magazine.
那些年轻人没错他们很聪明
Those young kids, they're smart, yes,
但他们不知道写什么
but they don't know what to write about.
是我看过网站
Yeah, I've seen the website.
"喝自己尿的三个最佳办法"
"Best Three Ways to Drink Your Own Urine"?
根本没有最佳办法
There is no best way.
喝了就行
You just drink it.
爸
Hi, Dad.
杰克你好
Jack? Hi.
布洛克你好
Brooke, hi!
你好
Hi.
我上次见到你
I haven't seen you
还是你参加公♥司♥拓展会的时候
since you showed up to the company retreat.