室内奇兵（2016）
The Great Indoors
第一季
剧集 | 室内奇兵（2016） | 导航列表
室内奇兵（2016）
The Great Indoors S01E06
Part 1
Aug. 6, 2020, 5:47 p.m.
大家注意了
Can I get everybody's attention?
我最好的朋友埃迪 终于办完了离婚手续
My best friend Eddie just finalized his divorce.
他现在很难[过]
And he is having a real hard time...
打开那瓶香槟
opening that champagne bottle!
我送给你的武士刀呢
Where's that samurai sword I got you?
丹妮丝拿走了 还有我30多岁时的人生
Denise took it, along with my 30s.
那么老了还费什么劲离婚啊
Why even bother getting divorced when you're that old?
对 再坚持个几年
Yeah, just ride it out for a few more years
死亡或老年痴呆就能解决问题
till death or dementia takes over.
我不确定这些离婚主题的饮品
I wasn't sure which of these divorce-themed drinks
哪个更好 所以我拿了"朗姆分手"[音近朗姆可乐]
was better, so I got us some "Rum and Brokes"
还有"在沙滩上和别人做♥爱♥"
and a "Sex With Someone Else On the Beach."
工作小伙伴们
Hey, work squad!
我们要做健身追踪器的产品测试
We are doing a product test on fitness trackers.
太棒了
Oh, cool!
我们手♥机♥已有功能的笨重大表版本
A bulky watch version of a feature our phones already have.
我希望你们写篇文章
I was hoping you could write an article where you see
看你们谁一天中走的步数最多
which of you can take the most steps in a single day.
我很乐意 上一次走路这么好玩
I'm down. Walking hasn't been fun
还是口袋妖怪走路版很流行的时候
since that four hours Pokémon Go was cool.
对 口袋妖怪走路版不流行了
Yeah, right, Pokémon Go isn't cool anymore.
太好笑了 克拉克
Good one, Clark.
可怜的埃迪
Poor Eddie.
你有问他对离婚有什么感觉吗
Have you asked him how he's feeling about the divorce?
我打算问的 然后我看到波涛汹涌的双胞胎
I was going to, but then I saw the busty twins
往他嘴里倒酒
pouring booze down his throat.
那是大声呼救的表现
That's a cry for help.
如果四个大♥波♥让他有窒息危险的话
Well, only if he's in danger of being smothered to death by four boobs.
别这样 杰克
Come on, Jack,
你是他最好的朋友
you're his best friend.
你没看出他这是矫枉过正吗
Can't you tell he's overcompensating?
我为了所有正确的理由而喝酒
I'm drinking for all the right reasons!
你需要和他谈谈
You need to talk to him.
好好谈谈
Like really talk to him.
有深度的谈话 如果你有这种能力的话
Go deep, if you're even capable of that.
我有深度
I'm deep!
我超级有深度
I'm super deep.
埃迪和我会谈各种有深度的问题
Eddie and I talk about all kinds of deep stuff.
埃迪 说实话
Eddie, be honest:
我的胸肌太大了吗
are my pecs too big?
听着 如果你真想做他的益友
Look, if you really want to be a good friend to him,
而不是只会在某天和某个"勇敢"的女人玩一♥夜♥情♥
or more than just a one-night stand to some brave woman some day.
只是一♥夜♥情♥
Whoa, whoa, just a one night stand?
你在贬低我们那晚不值钱的酒后乱性吗
Are you belittling our night of cheap drunken sex?
那你就得能够处理真实情感
Then you need to be able to deal with real emotions,
而不是逃避
not avoid them.
我知道我在说什么
I know what I'm talking about.
我未婚夫保罗和我总是哭
My fiancé Paul and I cry all the time.
你的姐妹会里那么多女生
Hey, out of all the girls in your sorority,
你为什么能认定保罗就是那一个呢
how did you know Paul was the one?
去和他谈谈
Look, just talk to him.
-埃迪 -你的胸肌很漂亮
- Eddie... ?- Your pecs look great.
不是的
No...
听着 你好吗
Look, how are you...
你很好 对吗
You're good, right?
对 我很好
Yeah, I'm good.
其实 我不知道
Actually, I don't know.
第一个答案通常是正确的
Well, first answer's usually right.
我昨天拿到离婚文件
I got those divorce papers yesterday.
我很意外我那么难受
And I was surprised how hard it hit me.
我原以为我向前看了
I thought I'd moved on.
听起来感觉 这个线头我们不应该扯
Well, that sounds like... A thread that we should not be pulling on.
可以了
That'll do her.
感觉我的胃里很空
It's like there's an emptiness in the pit of my stomach.
我知道那种感觉
I know that feeling.
让你无力 让你觉得
The one that cripples you and makes you feel
你无法前进
like you can't move on.
那是饥饿感
That's hunger.
我们去吃热狗
Let's get you a hot dog.
这是小费罐
It's a tip jar;
不收食品救济券 你这个穷鬼
it doesn't take food stamps, you poor bitch!
香肠圈
Ah, Wieners Circle.
闻名世界的热狗和羞辱
World famous hot dogs and insults--
就像贪污的市长和谋杀 芝加哥特色
a Chicago institution, just like corrupt mayors and murder.
对 来吧
Yeah, bring it on!
对了 丑八怪 快走
That's right, ugly, you better walk away!
倒着走 这样我不用看你的肥屁♥股♥
Actually back away so I don't have to look at your fat ass!
我们都看到了肥屁♥股♥
We all saw the fat ass,
但需要英雄把它挑明了
but it took a hero to point it out.
这是杰克·戈登吗
Is that Jack Gordon?
不可能 因为现在没到凌晨两点
Can't be, 'cause it's not 2:00 A.M.,
你没和一个与闺蜜走散的醉鬼丑女在一起
and you're not with a drunk skank who lost her friends.
还好吗 瓦尔
What's up, Val?
除开你的胆固醇之外
Other than your cholesterol.
来了个会说笑话的
Oh, we got a comedian.
我打赌你是你们健身班上最搞笑的人
I bet you're the funniest guy in your CrossFit class.
好漂亮的男人咪♥咪♥ 贱♥货♥
And nice man-boobs, bitch.
现在说埃迪
Now do Eddie!
这是B-版的史蒂夫·哈维吗[喜剧演员]
This B-minus Steve Harvey?
你老婆好吗 秃子
How's your wife, baldy?
她有意识到你是废柴 然后把你甩了吗
She realize you're a loser and leave you yet?
她这样做了
Yeah, actually she did.
请给我们两个烤热狗
We'll take two char dogs, please.
你觉得如果你哭得像娘们一样
You think if you didn't cry like a sissy
她会留下吗
she would've stayed?
也许
Maybe.
杰克
Jack.
你不能把脆弱的人带到这里
You can't bring fragile people around here.
朋友不会做这样的事 愚蠢的贱♥货♥才会这样做
This isn't what a friend do, it's what a dumb bitch do.
室内奇兵 第一季第六集
这个健身追踪器
Okay, so these fitness trackers
会测量你们的心率和步数
will measure your heart rate and step count.
如果这样慢慢动
Look, if you move it slow like this
不会记录步数
it doesn't register any steps.
但如果这样很快地动
But if you move it fast like this...
步子要爆♥炸♥了
It's just exploding with steps.
不要笑 他还年轻 正在探索自己的身体
Nobody laugh; he's young and discovering his body.
我知道你们不喜欢这项任务
Now, I know you guys don't love this assignment,
所以我决定重赏之下出勇夫
so I decided to sweeten the pot.
一天内记录最多步数的人
Whoever logs the most steps in a single day
将赢得两张
will win two tickets to...
碧昂丝的演唱会门票
Beyoncé!
闭上你的臭嘴
You shut your filthy mouth!
你刚说碧昂丝吗
Did you say Beyoncé?
我本来是为未婚夫保罗买♥♥的
Well, I originally bought them for my fiancé Paul,
但他有果酱聚会走不开[也指演奏会]
but he has a jam session he cannot get out of, so...
我不知道保罗是音乐人
Oh, I didn't know Paul was a musician.
他不是
No, he's not.
我说的是真正的果酱
I mean actual jam.
覆盆子丰收季提前了
Raspberry season peaked early.
现在我们知道了保罗是白人
So now we all know Paul is white.
杰克 你是总编辑
So, Jack, you're managing editor,
所以确保门票最终给了
so please make sure these end up
名正言顺的胜者
in the hands of the rightful winner.
好了 你们也听到了
All right, you heard her!
来吧 咱们快来走路
Come on, let's get our step on!
你们为什么不做
Why aren't you guys doing this?
大家不要说话 这是他完成的唯一方法
Nobody say anything, this is the only way he can get to completion.
我想看碧昂丝 但这篇文章的想法
I love me some 'Yoncé, but the idea for this article
超挫太作
is "Supes predix" and "Totes obvi."
你刚对我施了咒语吗
室内奇兵（2016）
The Great Indoors
剧集 | 室内奇兵（2016） | 导航列表