室内奇兵（2016）

The Great Indoors S01E16

Part 2 Aug. 6, 2020, 5:49 p.m.

你得好好研究下语言的"度"
You've really got to work on your levels.
伙计欢迎回来
Buddy, welcome back.
恭喜你的节目很成功
Congrats on your show.
你和马赛族战士一起烤白蚁幼虫
The way you roasted termite larvae with the Massai warriors
启发我重新考虑全部菜品
inspired me to rethink my whole menu.
多谢你埃迪谢谢你留位子给我们
Asante-sana, Eddie. And thanks for squeezing us in.
我来跟你们讲讲你们的上司有多牛逼
So let me tell you guys how badass your boss is.
跟他们讲那次你们去
Tell 'em about the time the two of you went
喜马拉雅山攀登冰川
glacier trekking in the Himalayas.
好主意他们以前听过
Yeah, good idea. They've heard it before,
不过没听卡在冰缝的那个人讲
but not from the actual guy that got stuck in the ice crevasse.
我以前被诊断为有肥胖症
I used to be clinically obese.
十年前有个电视制♥作♥人
So ten years ago, a TV producer came in
问杰克是否愿意主持他自己的冒险节目
and asked Jack if he wanted to host his own adventure show.
诚信先生拒绝了
Well, when Mr. Integrity here turned it down,
猜他们接下来找的谁
guess who they offered it to next?
没错塞思·格林[个子很矮的喜剧演员]
That's right, Seth Green.
他拒绝后
And then when he turned it down,
他们才来找我
that's when they asked me to do it.
相信我我完全不介意
And, trust me, I have no problem
享用杰克不要的二手货
feasting on Jack's sloppy seconds.
我的天
Oh, my.
各位显然杰克的决定是对的
Guys, obviously, Jack made the right choice.
他给世界带来了真正的改变
He's making a real difference in the world.
他现在睡在次卧又如何
So what if he's sleeping in the second-best bedroom
楼下是肮脏酒吧
above a filthy bar with his roommate
室友总是在加热罐装吞拿鱼
who's constantly heating canned tuna?
现在我后悔我的活法了
Well, now I regret my life.
亚伦我相信你快迟到了
Aaron, look, I'm sure you're late
你得去游艇展登台捞金
for some celebrity appearance at a boat show...
妈的你说对了
Oh, crap, you're right.
不如我们来跟你说说
So why don't we fill you in on some
本周要写的一些文章
of the pieces we're working on this week?
好的我们要的
Okay, all right, so what we want are
是热辣性感的想法
some hot, sexy ideas
我们的赞助商非常欣赏的
that our sponsors can really get behind.
说吧
Okay, howl at me.
育空有个驯鹿迁徙
Okay, well, there's a caribou migration
应该非常棒
in the Yukon-- it's supposed to be epic.
好点子梅森也许自然资源保护的角度
Good one, Mason. Maybe a conservationist angle.
安静好的
Shh, shh-shh. Uh, all right,
我看看我是否喜欢
let me see if I can get into this.
不我不想和这个想法做♥爱♥
Mm, no, I don't want to have sex with that idea.
对不起
I'm sorry.
下个是谁
Who's next?
巴西有个渔民
Uh, there's a fisherman in Brazil
在亚马逊迷失30天获救
who survived 30 days lost in the Amazon.
好的稍等
Okay, okay, hold on.
又见面了
Hey, again.
和沙包一样柔软
You know what, soft as a hacky sack.
亚伦这些是让你
Okay, Aaron, these are good ideas
和空气做♥爱♥的好点子
that you are having air sex with.
我非常努力才让这些孩子
I have worked hard to get these kids
写出有真正内容的文章
to write articles with real substance.
老天所以你永远是比我优秀的作者
Oh, man, that's why you're always gonna be a better writer than me, you know?
明天
Okay, look, so tomorrow,
我们再商量梅森的育空的想法
we're all gonna reconvene on Mason's Yukon idea, okay?
我保证我会亲自让它成为
And I promise that I'm personally gonna turn it into
可敬世故的想法
a respectable, sophisticated idea
让我们都愿意趴在车上翘起屁♥股♥
that we all want to bend over a car.
艾丝特你好吗
Hey, Esther, how you doing?
我又做那个梦了我是奇怪的前台
I had that dream again where I'm a weird receptionist
在户外杂♥志♥工作
at an outdoor magazine.
然后呢
And then what happened?
你终于来了
Oh, thank God you're here.
看这个迪士尼电影反派式人物对我们网站做了什么
Look what this greasy Disney villain did to our Web site.
像香港的街角
Oh, it looks like a Hong Kong street corner.
你的意思我完全懂
I read you loud and clear, guys.
所以我派爱玛和梅森
That's why I sent Emma and Mason
去育空报道驯鹿的事
up to the Yukon to report on that caribou story.
-真的吗 -我们在
- Wow. Really? - We're here
育空
in the actual Yukon.
如果我没穿
Which would be freezing
狼人亚伦的适合各种天气的瑜伽裤
if I wasn't wearing these Aaron Wolf
早就被冻死了
all-weather yoga pants.
那是绿屏
That's a green screen.
或是世上有两个艾丝特
Or there are two Esthers in the world.
不管怎样都是醒着的噩梦
Either way, it's a waking nightmare.
亚伦是场灾难
Aaron is a disaster.
首先他请所有人吃午餐
First, he paid for everyone's lunch,
定下了可怕的先例
which sets a terrible precedent.
现在他用他的低标准影响所有人
And now he's infecting everyone with his low standards.
真像以前
Oh, this is like old times--
杰克抱怨亚伦
Jack complaining about Aaron.
还记得那次你闯进来吗
Do you remember that time you stormed in
因为他要在杂♥志♥里加上中间插页
because he wanted to add a centerfold to the magazine?
我不知道他在哪里找到的那张照片
I don't even know where he found that photo,
但阿梅莉亚·埃尔哈特的意外露点照太没品味了
but an Amelia Earhart nip-slip was in poor taste.
杰克如果你担心亚伦
Well, Jack, if you're worried about Aaron
让孩子们误入歧途那你需要提醒他们
leading these kids astray, then you need to remind them
杂♥志♥的立场是什么
what the magazine stands for.
我怎么做
How am I supposed to do that?
你知道英国人如何解决
Well, are you familiar with the legend
殖民地印度眼镜蛇问题的传奇故事吗
of how the British dealt with the cobra problem in colonial India?
-不知道 -相当吸引人
- No. - It's fascinating.
这本书讲这个的我看到一半了
And I'm halfway through this book all about it.
你还是自己解决你的问题吧
So why don't you sort out your own problems for a change, hmm?
玩偶匣[盒子里的杰克]
Hey, Jack in the Box!
绿屏空出来了
So the green screen is free
你可以做"狼来了"单元
for you to do your "Wolf It Down" segment
在森林里如何寻找食物
on how to find food in the forest.
赞助商玩偶匣快餐
Sponsored by... Jack in the Box!
各位我们不会弄虚作假
Guys, we are not about faking stuff.
杂♥志♥叫《户外极限》因为我们要激发
It's called Outdoor Limits because we actually inspire
人们去室外
people to go outside.
已经有杂♥志♥叫《室外》了
And Outside Magazine was already taken.
各位如果要寻求最多人关注
Look, hey, guys, if you want maximum eyeballs,
-有时候就得弄虚作假 -这里不行
- sometimes we fake things. - Not here.
我去完成你的生存环节
Look, I'll do your survival segment,
但用我们的方式不作假
but our way-- no faking,
没有噱头因为真实的户外
no gimmicks, because the real outdoors
比任何绿屏前的镜头更有启发性
is more inspirational than anything shot on a green screen.
除了《空中大灌篮》无疑是史上最佳篮球动画电影
Except for Space Jam, hands down the best basketball cartoon movie of all time.
我真欣赏你的热情
Man. I really love your passion.
让我想到一个故事
Reminds me of a story.
2007年
The year was 2007.
罗伯·施奈德[喜剧演员] 和我去远足
Rob-- Schneider-- and I, were hiking.
我们爬到一半
We were halfway up Mount...
还好吗网友们
What up, Internet?
我在佩诺奇山做直播
I'm streaming live from the Penokee mountains
和我一起的是传奇户外记者
with legendary outdoor reporter--
我的同事老婆杰克·戈登
and my work wife-- Jack Gordon.
你们也看到了花的时间比较长
As you can see, it's taking a while
因为这里很潮湿
because of these wet conditions,
但我们看到了令人惊讶的野生动物
but we have seen some amazing wildlife out here.
棕色的松鼠灰色的松鼠
Like a brown squirrel, a grey squirrel
第三只松鼠速度太快我无法分辨
and a third squirrel who was moving too fast for me to tell
它的毛色
exactly what color it was.
太激烈了
That is intense!
我得先暂停免得手♥机♥爆了
I got to hit pause before my phone explodes!